A Lot Like Birds

Chapter 1

No Place

Kakashi woke up to darkness. Blinking a couple of times, in an attempt to clear it, the darkness remained.

"Eh? Did I lose another one?" Kakashi mumbled sleepily, still in darkness. Nope, her right eye was still there. "Wouldn't mind more facial scarring though..."

Kakashi realised the problem when lifted the book that was rested on her face.

A Kunoichi's Love by Katou Shizune.

Kakashi sighed wistfully. Shizune-sama sure knew how to write romance.

Placing the book aside carefully, Kakashi sat up groggily.

'Was I drinking with Anko last night?' Kakashi wondered, as her head throbbed slightly from the effects of a mild hangover. 'Shit. I have a genin team to take on today.'

Uchiha Sasuke. Arrogant. Obito's nephew. Last of two Uchiha alive. Last loyal Uchiha alive. Rookie of the year. Talented, but still, arrogant. He may need just as much work as the rest. The elders want me to train his sharingan when it manifests. But I need to make a Konoha shinobi out of him before I make an Uchiha out of him.

Haruno Sakura. A somewhat unhealthy and misguided obsession with Uchiha Sasuke – that needs fixing. High intelligence. Book smarts. Good chakra control – something that needs investigation. Not quite a kunoichi, not just yet. Hopefully this girl was more amicable. The last kunoichi she had attempt to take as a student among a genin team had called her something along the lines of 'a grey old dyke'. That wasn't very nice. Then again, nor was the girl's introduction to the forbidden taijutsu technique: Sennen Goroshi.

Lastly was Uzumaki Naruto. Hyperactive. Confident. Brave. Little to no chakra control. Huge chakra reserves. A bit hard-headed. Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi. And... Minato-sensei's son. Two S-rank secrets in one boy who finished as the 'dead-last' of his graduating class. A very peculiar dead-last indeed. With a lot of potential that needed realisation.

It was around 5am, Kakashi's internal body clock told her. ANBU training was useful.

Tugging on a lock of her hair, Kakashi held it out at its full length, nodding once in approval.

'It's getting good and long now.' It was in fact, reaching her waist.

Stripping off and stepping into the shower. Kakashi let the warm water cascade down her back. Speaking of ANBU, Kakashi scratched at the ANBU tattoo on her left shoulder. Her skills had dulled somewhat since her ANBU days, as had her serious demeanour. Obito had always told her – much to her annoyance – that she was too uptight, that she needed to 'live a little'. If only he could see her now. Possibly right now. Seeing as she was naked and drenched in water. That would teach him. Then again... he would likely have used his sharingan to ingrain the image in his psyche. Even though he always had a thing for Rin, even until the very end... Well, at least they could be together now. Wherever they were.

Slapping herself, to prevent herself from sinking any deeper. Kakashi shook her head and sighed.

"Am I trying to drown myself in here? Geez." Kakashi murmured, turning off the shower.

"You're late, Kakashi." Kurenai frowned as Kakashi entered the Jounin lounge.

"How late?" Kakashi asked, sounding bored.

It was Genma who answered, the senbon tilting upwards in his mouth as he smiled in amusement. "She's mad because Asuma has been making certain bets about your genin squad."

"Oh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow curiously.

"He bets that you'll fail this genin team too." Genma elaborated.

"Duh." Kakashi chuckled.

"Ah, but she's mad because the wager was originally between just her and Asuma." Genma continued, as Kurenai silently fumed and Asuma looked nervous across the room. "But now he's brought the rest of us into it too."

"Then why is Kurenai mad at me?" Kakashi replied impassively. "We did that bet for years."

"We?" Raidou asked, "You too?"

"Didn't see why not." Kakashi shrugged. "Didn't we stop that because everyone bet on me failing them? Except Gai of course."

"Kurenai has some... expectations of you." Asuma said uneasily, flinching back at the red-eyed glare Kurenai sent his way.

"You need money, Kurenai dear?" Kakashi eye smiled.

"Of course I do!" Kurenai hissed, turning on Kakashi, who raised a delicate eyebrow in surprise and askance. "If you and Anko hadn't made me blow most of it on... on last night."

A few whoops and hollers went up and at that, causing Kurenai to frown in irritation.

"Eh? You were there?" Kakashi asked confusedly. "I just remember Anko, a whole lot of sake and other depressants and someone on... the floor. Ah."

A blush formed on Kurenai's face, before she placed her hands on Kakashi's shoulders, looking up into the taller woman's visible eye. "You have to pass this genin team. If they're not good enough, then make them good enough." Kurenai whispered low enough that only Kakashi could barely hear.

The two women stared at each other intently. Kurenai more so than Kakashi. A hiss of 'kiss!' was heard, but ignored, before Kakashi simply shrugged. "Okay." She said noncommittally, leaving Kurenai very much surprised, but wary of her friend's sincerity.

Kakashi's eye widened marginally, and she suddenly pushed herself out of Kurenai's grip, just in time to save herself from a terrible fate.

"ROMANTIC ENTRY!"

A green blur landed in the space created between the two women, landing painfully on the floor. His legs were spread out, his hands bared to grab his target, but most horrifically of all, his face was contorted into a horrible petrified kissing face, his eyes screwed up in his determination.

"Kakashi-chan you are looking especially beautiful toda-" Gai exclaimed, before he was cut off my Kurenai thumping him over his head.

"Kami, his head is like diamonds!" Kurenai hissed, clutching her hand. "Gai, you can't do this every time! What if Kakashi-chan decides to file a sexual harassment report?"

"Eh, it's rather endearing." Kakashi shrugged, filing her nails nonchalantly.

"Kakashi-chan, my eternal love!" Gai exclaimed, standing up in the blink of an eye. "You must take on a genin team, like myself! The power of your youthful beauty would make you a wonderful sensei to those children!"

"Hm, uh-huh..." Kakashi murmured, barely listening to Gai's youthful rant.

"Once again, Kakashi-chan, I implore you!" Gai yelled, undeterred or oblivious. "Come to dinner with me!" He screamed to the heavens his fist raised to said heavens.

Gai stood in this pose for a couple of seconds of awkward silence, until Kakashi broke it.

"Hm..." Kakashi hummed contently, a small, mauve book held in her delicate hands. "Oh? Gai, were you saying something?"

Gai slumped down in defeat, tears streaming from his face. "Kakashi-chan, you are so elegant in your dismissal!"

"It's sort of creepy..." Raidou whispered, nudging Genma, who nodded looking perplexed.

"I can never get used to this." Genma agreed. "And I'm not sure if she deals with it well, or just – in a weird way – encourages the poor guy."

"Ah, Kakashi-chan!" Gai yelled, his upbeat demeanour returning in an instant. "I recall now. Your beauty brings my art to life. You are my muse – my inspiration! My loves flows onto the canvas, and I pray it will flow unto your heart, Kakashi-chan!"

Many of the female Jounin in the room were silently surprised. That was rather romantic. The men in the room gave nods of approval. That was pretty smooth, actually.

"Please accept this youthful illustration of your unmasked beauty!" Gai exclaimed, pulling out a folded piece of paper and presenting it to Kakashi. Instead of ignoring him, she raised a curious eyebrow and accepted it. "I will never forget the spectacle that ignited our love!"

'Unmasked beauty?' Many of the men in the room thought in confusion. Has Gai seen Kakashi without her mask? It was something they were often curious about themselves. But none dared attempt to remove it, lest they face the wrath of the infamous Sharingan no Kakashi or an angry kunoichi.

"Can we see?" Genma asked coolly. He too was just as curious as the rest of the Jounin in the room, but he didn't want to sound too desperate. Kakashi was already an attractive woman. Even when only her hair and a single eye were visible most of the time. Unless the lower half of her face was particularly strange looking, she was likely drop-dead gorgeous underneath that mask. Being a kunoichi, Kakashi's body was toned, and even then, Kakashi was a rather curvy woman. Genma secretly wondered if anyone had ever tapped that swee-

"See what?" Kakashi asked in a dry tone, looking directly at Genma. "Not sure where you're looking there, Shiranui-kun, but I'm not sure you'll be seeing any of this anytime soon."

Genma blushed a deep red at being caught, as Kakashi nonchalantly patted her behind with a chuckle.

"Alright, let's see what you got here, Gai." Kakashi murmured, unfolding the small piece of paper. Her brow heightened further as she studied Gai's drawing. To put it simply (and nicely) it... wasn't all that good. Hmm, well that was a mouth... Or was it one of those fake lip whistles that make the whirring noise?... A nose too. Hm, she wasn't usually pictured with these appendages. The eyes were a little big, and the sharingan had hearts in it, instead of tomoe. Creative, she supposed, giving a slight nod, which caused Gai to let out an excited squeal at her small token of approval. Her hair was... surprisingly accurate, she conceded.

Other Jounin were slowly creeping up behind, trying to get a peek without alerting Kakashi, but before any of them could get even a glance, Kakashi folded the piece of paper and slipped it into a pouch on her belt.

"What do you think, my love?" Gai asked, practically bouncing up and down in anticipation.

"My final verdict is..." Kakashi pondered, her on her chin. "It's borderline offensive." Kakashi shrugged, causing Gai to faceplant at her blunt opinion. She then resumed her reading, the book back in her hand in a flash, as Guy lay in a pool of his own tears, which continued to flow unbidden.

Kakashi continued to read until a feeling of trepidation crept up her spine. And another feeling, elsewhere.

'Uh-oh.' Kakashi thought.

"Hello, Kakashi-chan..." A sickly sweet voiced purred.

Kakashi visibly tensed, standing stiff upright. She looked downwards to match a pair of hands with the groping sensation on her breasts. A pair of hands, with sharp nails painted dark purple were wrapped around her bust.

"Uh... Oh." Kakashi said, unsure how to respond. "This is new. Hi, Anko, I see you're inspecting the goods..."

'Damn it, I should have said 'canned goods'.' Kakashi thought dejectedly. ''Cans' and all that. Damn it, this stuff is killer; I need to write it down.'

"There's nothing wrong with trying something new, Kakashi-chan..." Anko grinned.

Kakashi attempted half-heartedly to remove Anko's hand from their current perches, but the best she could manage was to put them on her waist instead. Either way, Anko had her arms wrapped around Kakashi rather unashamedly.

Anko merely buried her nose in Kakashi's neck, humming contentedly.

"D-Dude." Raidou whispered, his eyes wide behind his dark sunglasses.

"High five." Genma said in a low voice – but not low enough, apparently.

As soon as Genma raised his hand for said high five, he found his arm pinned to the wall behind him, and a kunai precariously close to his baby-maker.

"Enjoying yourself, Genma-kun?" Anko asked seductively with a grin, bringing her face close to his.

"This is sorta doing it for me, yeah." Genma chuckled nervously. What he got in reply was the kunai being brought even closer in proximity. He let out an 'eep' and the senbon slipped from his mouth. "Eh, never mind I said anything." He gasped, sweating visibly. Anko backed off with a loud laugh, returning to Kakashi's side to hang off her.

Genma let out a sigh of relief, before Raidou nudged him again.

"D-Dude." He whispered, his eyes wider behind his dark sunglasses.

"Anko, you can't just do that out of the blue!" Kurenai scolded, glaring at her flirtatious friend.

"You didn't seem to mind last night, Kurenai-chan." Anko smiled sweetly. That shut her up. Soundly.

"Settle down; let's get these teams assigned already." The voice of the Sandaime Hokage said, looking miffed. He was wearing his ninja gear, sans hat or robe, unusual for a formal situation such as the yearly assignment of genin teams.

"Everything alright, dad?" Asuma asked, lighting up a cigarette.

"Give me a toke, son." Hiruzen said, snatching the cigarette from his son's mouth as he passed. He inhaled very deeply from the reclaimed cigarette, before letting out a huge sigh. "Didn't get a wink of sleep. My hat was stolen, robe too and my pipe. The whole place smells of alcohol – which isn't entirely unusual – but it didn't smell like my usual brand. Strong stuff. Whoever did it was either piss drunk or trying to mask their scent."

Everyone in the room stared bug-eyed at their elderly Hokage and his unexpected outburst, before the Hokage himself brought them out of their stupor.

"Iruka, teams, come on!" Hiruzen urged, taken another deep drag from Asuma's cigarette, his son watching on with regret, yet afraid to light another, lest it be stolen too.

Iruka scurried in, a little fearful of the tired and pissed-off Hokage's wrath. He quickly handed a sheet with the teams listed upon it to Hiruzen, the chuunin schoolteacher then stepped aside. Then a few steps more, as Anko winked at him from across the room, bringing a blush to his face as he averted his gaze.

"Asuma, get over here." Hiruzen ordered curtly, setting the cigarette in a nearby ash tray. His son made his way to his father as quickly as he could without looking too hurried.

"Team 10. Ino-Shika-Chou." He said without ceremony, handing off the assignment file to his son, who was subtly trying to take the cigarette from the ash tray. His father noticed and slapped his hand away like a disobedient child. Then he swiftly departed, sparing a sympathetic glance backwards at Kurenai and Kakashi.

"Kurenai, come here." Hiruzen said, glaring at the illusionist, much to her confusion and fear. "Team 8. Hyuuga, Aburame, Inuzu- The tracker team. Go on." She bowed briefly, before scurrying out after Asuma, not even looking back.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen growled, causing the stoic Jounin to raise an eyebrow. "Team 7. Already briefed you personally. Scram." Kakashi shrugged and left, dragging Anko with her, who –curiously – had been hiding behind Kakashi during the exchange.

"Next!" Hiruzen grunted, garnering another jump from his collective Jounin and Tokubetsu Jounin.

Kurenai ran up to Kakashi as she exited the Jounin lounge with Anko in tow.

"Why was Hokage-sama so angry with you and me personally, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked.

"No clue." Kakashi shrugged. "Let's head to the academy. Gotta be there by noon."

Kurenai pursed her lips before simply nodding. "Ah, where did Anko go?"

"No clue." Kakashi shrugged.

"Bells, 200 feet of ninja wire, spaghetti sauce, sealing paper, sanma, cup miso, the latest copy of 'A Kunoichi's Love'... Wait, what?"

"Oooh, I love that book." Sakura squealed.

"Yeah, anyway... bunch o' ninja tools..." Naruto continued to read, "Why is spaghetti sauce listed twice?" Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. "Who do you think left it here? Maybe it's some sort of code? Maybe our Jounin sensei wanted us to figure it out?"

"Don't be stupid Naruto!" Sakura huffed, crossing her arms. "Why isn't he here yet? It's been hours already... Ugh."

"You're right, Sakura-chan." Naruto grinned. "Besides, if it was a code, I'm sure I could figure it out, no problem. We're just gonna have to wait... But for how long?!"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, his eyes closed and hands pressed together beneath his nose.

Sakura stared at Sasuke longingly as Naruto paced the room, and continued to open the door and look out into the hallway impatiently. Eventually, Sakura grew annoyed at his restlessness.

"Naruto, stay still!" She shouted in frustration.

"He's so damn late!" Naruto shouted, looking out into the hallway once again, before he dragged a chair over to the doorway, with a chalkboard duster in his free hand.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura asked curiously. Sasuke too, opened his eyes to glance at his reluctant teammate's actions.

Naruto climbed atop the chair, preparing to wedge the duster in the doorway. A simple prank. That would teach him for being late.

Before Naruto could do so, however, the door was thrown open, causing Naruto to lose his balance and come tumbling down from his perch atop the stool.

"Why aren't you three up on the rooftop?" A miffed sounding feminine voice demanded. The three surprised genin looked up (Naruto from his position, knocked on his ass.) to see a silver-haired kunoichi, wearing a facemask, with her hitai-ate pulled down over her left eye. As such, only her right eye, hair and ears were visible. She wore skin-tight body armor over her torso, her midriff and arms exposed. A short blade was strapped to her back, a chokutou, and a dark red scarf was draped around her neck. "I left a note on the table." Kakashi said, her hands on her hips.

Sakura slowly held up the 'note', which Kakashi walked over to take from the girl's hands. At which point, Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Oh, that's my shopping list." Kakashi deadpanned.

The three genin sweatdropped in return.

"Are you our sensei?" Naruto asked, looking put out, as he climbed to his fight.

"Are you my students?" Kakashi asked in a deadpan tone in return.

"Are you Hatake Kakashi?" Sasuke asked, not bothering to look up at the Jounin.

"Who's askin'?" Kakashi narrowed her eyes, staring the genin down.

They stared at her silently, until her expression changed into her signature eye smile.

"Ahhh, I'm just messing with you guys." She joked. "Come on up to the rooftop, my kawaii little genin." Kakashi then left the silent room, turning to walk down the hallway, instead she backpedalled into the room, looking backwards at the three genin.

"Hmm. My first impression of you guys is..." Kakashi pondered. "Uh, my bad." Again, she exited the room.

Even Sasuke had a plainly perplexed look upon his face.

A/N: Hoped you enjoyed this. This will remain relatively light-hearted. For the most part.

Please let me know what you thought in a review. Or a letter.