AKA, What Has Been Seen, Cannot Be Unseen.

I may get in trouble for telling anybody this, but I can't keep quiet anymore. For this reason, I'm keeping my identity hidden, as I know a certain children's network would do god knows what to keep this secret hidden. Although after what I've seen, I wouldn't be surprised if the network, the people who worked on this show, wanted to forget about this experience themselves.

I am just an ordinary citizen. A girl of 18, an official adult, but still an innocent child trapped in an adult's body. The few friends I had often called me an anime otaku, cartoon nerd, anything around those lines. They were right. I had always loved cartoons and anime ever since I was a child. As of right now, I'm in the middle of my senior year of high school, for safety reasons, I can't say the name of the town I attend high school in, but it's a small boring town in Ohio. Someday when I graduate, I hope to become an animator, and voice actress myself. Despite this experience, I still love cartoons, but I will be forever scarred by what happened.

It started out as an ordinary day. I had to earn money to go to a comic/anime convention, so I had to clean out the attic at my house. This was a few years ago. Like any 15 year old girl, I wasn't too crazy about having to clean a dirty, dusty room. And it was a big attic too, so I knew I would be here awhile. As I was hiking through bags of old stuffed animals and Halloween costumes, I found a black video tape. It had no casing, and it had a white sticker with the title scribbled in black marker. Dad would use to record video tapes of movies and such for us, but the handwriting didn't look like his, or even mom's for that matter. The tape read "SpongeBob, Sailor Mouth, House Party, Where's Gary? + Lost episode". "Cool! Score!" I thought. Maybe Daddy's friend Mike made this awhile ago, and I just never got to it. He once recorded several Jimmy Neutron episodes for me once, so I thought he made this. Those listed on the tape were my favorite Spongebob episodes, so I was happy I found it, although at the time, I thought "Lost episode" referred to the episode where SpongeBob wanted to fly, as it was advertised as the lost episode. I found out otherwise, but I'll get to that later.

I suddenly find that I have cleaned up the attic at lightning speed. "Take that Mom!" I thought. I earned money for the convention, and I have plenty of time to watch those episodes. I meet Mom downsairs just in time, she was about to take my younger brother and sisters shopping. I show Mom the clean attic, take the tape downstairs to my room (basement) to watch it, and pop it into my combo DVD and videotape player. The quality was weird and a bit fuzzy in the begining, but then again, it's been awhile since I watched videotapes, recorded no less. I laugh at the funny jokes, my childhood memories coming back to me. I had my old SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward dolls sitting with me as I watch these funny episodes. I watch as Spongebob accidently cusses out Patrick while playing Eels and Escalators (doliphin chirped out of course). I laugh as Spongebob ends up getting locked out of his home at his own house party. I cry a bit when SpongeBob can't find Gary. I was happy for awhile, and then things start to get weird.

I expect the next episode to be the Sponge Who Could Fly, but instead, I see a title card that was in black and white, all except for these words written in a bright blood red, "Squidward's Suicide". WTF!? The strange part is that the music behind the title card was as cheerful as ever. The episode started out pretty normal itself. The story began with Squidward practicing his clarinet, hitting a few sour notes like normal. "Ha!" I thought to myself. Squidward fails at playing clarinet. Anywhoo, we hear SpongeBob laughing outside and Squidward stops, yelling at him to keep it down as he has a concert that night and needs to practice. SpongeBob says okay and goes to see Sandy with Patrick. The bubbles splash onto the screen as usual, and we see the ending of Squidward's concert. This is when things began to seem weird, and a bit disturbing.

For some reason, the animation seemed like it it repeated itself for a moment, but the sound doesn't. Maybe it was just the weird videotape quality? But when he stops playing, the sound finishes as if the skip never happened. Go figure. The crownd seemed to whisper and murmur for a moment, and then you hear the crowd booing! Not like the silly booing you usually hear in cartoons, but there you can cleary hear hurtful words, basically, it was very cruel. In the next shot, you can see Squidward was visiably afriad. And Spongebob was booing too!? WHAT!?

"SPONGEBOB!?" I shouted out of confusion and a bit of anger. "What's he doing there!? Why are you all so mean!? It wasn't that bad!" The weirdest part in that booing sequence, all the fish had hyper relistic eyes. It was as if I was looking at a person, and saw their eyes rather than looking at them through the TV screen. They all had glowing red pupils as well.

The next part goes to Squidward sitting on the edge of his bed, looking very upset. It must have happened right after the concert. But for some reason, there was no sound. None at all! If it was a recording error, there would have at least a bit of static noise, but there was nothing, at least until poor Squidward started crying. He put his hands (tentacles) over his eyes and cried quietly for about a minute maybe? I hear a slight sound faintly in the backround. It sounded like a slight breeze blowing through trees. It felt unnerving, like the wind blowing on a Halloween night.

There was a slow closeup on Squidward's face. His sobbing gets louder, more full of hurt and anger, nothing like his cartoonish crying, but very real. There seems to be a momment where the screen seems to twitch, but then goes back to normal. The wind-through-the-trees sound gets slowly louder and more severe, as if a storm is brewing somewhere. Squidward's crying was scary, because it sounded as if he was right here in the room crying, instead of crying on the TV.

As I continue watching this, I hear disturbing laughing coming from time to time. I saw a couple disturbing images. 2 children, a boy and a girl about 6 were stripped down to their undies, and they were mutalated in the most horrifying ways! Squidward keeps sobbing, getting louder and louder with blood running down his face. The blood was in a realistic style, it was as if there was blood on the TV. The evil sounding laughs got louder and louder. After about 5 seconds, there was silence.

Squidward had stopped crying and he put his tentacles down. His eyes were now done in the same hyper realism style like the people who booed him in the begining of the episode. They were red, bleeding, bloodshot, and pulsating. He just stared at the screen, as if he was just watching me. After about 10 seconds, he started sobbing, this time not covering his eyes. This time, his crying was loud, mixed with piercing screems! Realistic tears and blood were dripping down his eyes at a heavy rate. The wind was blowing again, and the deep evil sounding laugh came back. The next part was disturbing. The next few disturbing images that flashed was a hand degutting the same kid who was shown being torn apart earlier. It scared me!

The sound suddenly stopped again. For a few moment, it seemed like Squidward was just staring at me, this shot was done in full frame of his bloodied face. The shot quickly panned out and that deep demonic voice that was laughing sickly ealier said "DO IT!" I see Squidward holding a shotgun in his hand and he immediately puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. Realistic blood and brain matter splatters the wall behind him, and his bed, and he flies back with the force. The last few seconds of this episode show his body on the bed, one eye dangling on what's left of his head above the floor, staring blankly at it. Then the episode ends and the credits roll.

I was scared, sick, and confused. "What th hell is this!?" I wondered. I had to run to the restroom. I managed to keep my supper down, but I was clearly upset. "No Squidward!" I thought. "You can't die! You just can't!" I try to show my Mom later when she came back from the store. I wait until my siblings are in bed, so they won't see it. But when I try to show her the episode, the tape spits out its rolls of film, so it can never be watched again. To this day she never believed me when I told her I saw this demonic episode.

Finally I go to the comic convention. There I run into Mr. Hillenburg. I run up to him. He smiles and stops to talk to me. He is a nice guy, and seems happy to talk to a fan of his show. I talk about my dreams of becoming an animator and a voice actress, and he tells me to go for it. But then, I ask him about the Squidward's Suicide episode. The color seems to wash out of his face, and he seems like he's about to cry. I know something was up. He gives me a hug and tells me this next thing I will never forget. "There are some things that can never be explained how they happened, all I can say is that it happened. Please don't mention that episode again."

This was nearly 3 years ago. I moved on, I'm able to watch SpongeBob again, but now I look at Squidward with more sympathy than usual. But then one day a friend of mine tells me about a CreepyPasta story called Squidward's Suicide. I double take. I later look up the CreepyPasta. It was described in the same detail I read. It was true. This episode was made in 2005, 5 years before I found it, 8 years ago. What shocked me was in the end, it said the staft still don't know how it happened. I also read in an Urban Dictionary about Squidward's Suicide that the person who killed the children was an animator for the show. It was said he was arrested for 9 counts of murder, 2 of which were shown on this tape. The studio seems to have destroyed the evidence of this episode years ago. But somehow I had a copy in my attic for awhile. It was probably at the wrong place at the wrong time. There's still a lot of stuff I don't know about this episode, but there's one thing I know for sure. The episode wasn't put together by the murderer at all. It was a message by the ghosts of the children who died at the hands of the killer.