A/N: This fic is for Tumblr's own fifthbestthinghedoes, who gave me the mind-blowing idea of a Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley fic, thanks to some Twilight Zone type stuff. So, here's what I came up with. I got kind of carried away with it, so I made it a stand alone instead of putting it with my other Tumblr requests. Kind of dub-con. Special appearance by Scotty Vortekz. Enjoy!

It had something to do with Scotty Vortekz. That's all they could remember. (Who knew his name was actually accurate?) But however it happened, there they stood, face to face, in a void outside space and time, and, for some reason, horny as all get out – Jon Moxley and Dean Ambrose.

"Okay, who the fuck are you and where the fuck am I?" Mox said, fidgeting and drawing his acid washed denim vest tighter around him.

"Well, I don't know where the fuck this is, but I'm Dean Ambrose," Dean said. He eyed the oddly familiar looking man in front of him and his eyes grew wide with incredulous recognition. "And shit – you're… fuck, are you.. you're… Jon Moxley, right?"

Mox narrowed his eyes at Dean and growled. "How the fuck do you know who I am?"

"I don't know how the fuck this happened, but I'm you, man," Dean said. "Like, from the future, when you go to WWE."

"Bullshit. No fucking way I'm ever going to WWE." Mox said. He stared at Dean a while longer. "But okay, man, you do really fucking look like me. Except your hair. What the fuck is up with that? How fucking old are you anyway?"

"I'm 27, man," Dean said. "And my hair is awesome, okay?"

"So you're trying to tell me that like a couple of years from now my hair's gonna look like that? No fucking way." Mox said.

"Dude, I don't know what your fucking problem is, but I don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here, so maybe you should be less of a fucking dick to me, alright?" Dean said.

"What? You're the one who's all 'I'm bald you from the fucking future' or some shit. Like what the fuck is that? What the hell are you trying to pull?" Mox said.

"Look, I don't know how the fuck this happened, but I know who I am and I think I can fucking recognize myself, okay?" Dean said. "And Jesus Christ, I'm not fucking bald."

"Yeah, but you're definitely like, missing something there, man," Mox said. "But at least you still kept the earring. That shit's fucking boss."

"It totally is," Dean said. "I had it out for a while but then I decided to put it back in, but everyone was trying to tell me it looked stupid or something."

"No way, man," Mox said. "That shit is awesome. Fuck those morons."

"I know, right?" Dean said.

The two stared at each other for a moment, nodding in agreement. Eventually, they both noticed the stained green and white striped sofa that seemed to have materialized into the void and sat down on it simultaneously. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments before Mox spoke again.

"So, like, what's it like being in WWE?" Mox said. "They give you like some shitty gimmick or something?"

"Nah, it's fucking awesome," Dean said. "You get to work with, like, all the best from all around, fucking legends, you know? And just travel everywhere, and you actually have money, and the partying's like, way more fun, you know?"

"How's the pussy?" Mox said. "Better than those fucking rats I'm getting now?"

Dean laughed. "It's really good," Dean said. "So's the dick."

"Fuck, so I'm actually gonna fucking do that? You're not fucking with me?" Mox said. Dean nodded and Mox continued. "No way. I mean, I look, you know, but everyone thinks about that a little. I'm not really into that, right?"

Dean put his arm around Mox and gave his shoulder a paternal squeeze. "Yeah, that's what I thought." he said. "But when Tyler Black bends that ass over for you that first time, you're gonna quit asking fucking questions."

"Yeah, that guy always seemed like kind of a faggot anyway," Mox said.

"Well, you're gonna be the fucking faggot drilling that pretty fucking ass of his, and it's gonna be better than any pussy you've ever had, so maybe you should just learn to deal with it, okay?" Dean said.

"Seriously?" Mox said, pulling away from Dean. "Fuck. Well, at least I don't take it up the ass, right?"

Dean furrowed his brow. "You think there's something wrong with that or something?" he said.

"Shit, man," Mox said. "That's like, real fucking gay, you know?"

"Goddammit, I can't believe I used to be this fucking stupid," Dean said. "Look, you like dudes, alright? Chicks, too, still, but you like to fuck dudes, and you like dudes to fuck you, and it all feels really fucking good. And once you actually do it, you're gonna be like, why did I wait so long? Because I gave a shit what some stupid motherfuckers would think about me?"

"Or maybe I don't want some dude's dick in my fucking ass?" Mox said.

"Only because you don't know what it's like," Dean said.

"So, if I just never do it, I'll never want it, and I won't end up a bald fucking faggot like you, right?" Mox said.

Dean laughed, far longer than seemed appropriate. "Wow, I was really this fucking stupid once. Look, you're me, and unless whatever the fuck is happening now is doing some kind of Star Trek shit with the space time continuum or whatever, you're going to end up this same bald fucking faggot," Dean said. "So you can either keep living your life like a fucking pussy, too scared to ever have what you really want, or you can be a fucking man and own up to yourself and have a whole lot of fun. So it's up to you. "

Mox tore at his hair and growled in frustration. "This is so fucking weird, man," he said. "Like you're here and you're me and you're telling me this and it's just, well, it's fucked up. But you're me, you gotta be me, and I don't know, now I feel like, you know, I gotta know, like, about what you're saying, and I don't know when the fuck we're gonna get out of whatever this is, you know? It's just fucking weird."

Mox got up and paced around the narrow void, looking around for a door or some other kind of exit that Dean already knew didn't exist. Finally, after much growling and stomping around, Mox flopped back down on the sofa. As Mox slouched back, Dean eyed the telltale bulge starting to grow in Mox's jeans. Dean smirked to himself, a feeling somewhere between paternal and predatory growing in his heart. Dean leaned into Mox and softly fingered his bulge, making him jump and slide down the sofa.

"The fuck are you doing?" Mox said.

"Come on, you want it – you think I don't know exactly what's going through your head right now?" Dean said. "Besides, who's gonna be able to get you off better than me? I'm you, only I know how to do a guy."

"That's fucked up, man," Mox said. "That's really fucked up." Mox paused, looked around, licked his lips. "But fuck. Okay. This day's already been way too fucking weird anyway."

Dean moved into Mox and licked right up the sweet spot on his neck with just the right amount of pressure to drive his nerves crazy, tingling up to his brain, making him moan an odd yelping thing. Dean's tongue followed the tingle up to Mox's ear and sucked on it, turning the tingle into an irresistible whirr. Mox tried to turn through it, to Dean, to grab him, take over, give him a taste of this maddeningly deliciously fucked up torture, but Dean held him back.

"I know what you wanna do," Dean said. "You can't fucking relax. You gotta be in control. Just let me do this. You need it just like I'm gonna do it. Trust me, I know. And when I'm done, if we're still here, you can do it for me. Okay?"

Mox bit his lip. "Yeah, alright," he said after a while.

"Take your clothes off, then," Dean said. "It's easier if we don't have to fuck with them later."

Both of them stripped quickly and silently. When they were done, Dean softly pressed Mox down onto the sofa, on his belly, and got on his back. Dean started biting hard across Mox's shoulders, following the muscles down his back, which felt like something between a mauling and a massage. Mox groaned and hissed as his tension released and a swirl of endorphins sang up to his brain.

"Motherfucker," Mox said breathlessly. "Like I wouldn't even think to do any of this shit."

"Like I said, it all got way better once I got to WWE," Dean said as he started biting Mox's ass, making him writhe and moan. Mox's writhing slowed and Dean licked slowly at his asshole, making him shudder and sending delicate beams of pleasure through him. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw that a bottle of lube had appeared nearby. He continued licking Mox's asshole for a while longer, feeling him slowly relax, before reaching for the lube and slicking his fingers with it. Dean slowly slid a finger inside, drawing more shuddering moans from Mox, before adding another as Mox started to move hungrily against his hand, moving almost reflexively onto his knees and forearms.

"Fuck," Mox moaned. "I'm really gonna do this."

At that, Dean pulled his fingers out, lubed his cock and pressed it against Mox's begging entrance, slowing pushing his cock into Mox's impossibly tight heat as they both moaned together.

"I didn't know I felt this fucking good," Dean said.

Mox hissed and breathed into the pain accompanying the shock of unfamiliar pleasure until none of the pain remained. Dean thrust into him hard and slow, biting languorously at his shoulders, the unfamiliar sensations creating a languid storm of delicious lushness inside Mox. Dean gripped Mox's cock tightly and stroked it hard, lighting a slow fuse inside Mox. Soon, the storm inside Mox ignited and boiled over, the tension inside him shooting out in one, long, shaky exquisite wave. Mox heard Dean groan and felt Dean's cock pulse inside him, Dean's release filling him as he felt his consciousness float elsewhere.

When Mox opened his eyes again, he found himself sprawled on the sofa at Scotty Vortekz's house, his head pounded and his guts churning with a wicked hangover. He turned his head and saw Scotty standing in the small kitchen nearby.

"Dude, you're finally up? It's like 2 o'clock already," Scotty said.

"I feel like shit, man," Mox said. "And I had like, the most fucked up dream of all time. Jesus Christ, this is going to be a weird fucking day."

Scotty chucked to himself and smiled knowingly, closing the door to the void.