It'd be a bit hypocritical if I tried to get you guys to write more without submitting my own story, so here you go! Let me know what you think! Read and Review! Please!

Mental Edness

Chapter 1

It was fall. The leaves had turned brown...Peach Creek Mental Hospital for Adolescents was welcoming its' newest guest today. A young man with a black ski cap on his head walked in through the large metal double doors at the front of the building. As they slammed shut behind him, he jumped at the loud sound. He was average height, (about 5'9"), skinny (130 lbs.), and had a gap in the middle of his brilliant white teeth. He was dressed in all orange, which designated him as a medium risk patient. That is, a danger to himself and not to others. Underneath his beanie, it appeared that black hair stuck out. He walked to the front desk and was signed in by a nurse. She motioned behind her, and he proceeded unaccompanied onward. Above her head, there was a camera lens staring down at him. He gulped, and moved past her and began walking down the hall. Rounding a corner, there was an unaccompanied boy clad in red, with very few hairs on his head, who was short (about 5'2"), and Edd decided it was time to try and make friends.

He approached the shorter boy, and mustering up some courage, said "Salutations! I am new here."

The boy looked him over, before a large, cheesy grin overtook his face. "Hiya buddy! I am the tour guide of this wonderful place!" His enthusiasm seemed practiced as he continued. "For a measly 25 cents, I'll give you Eddy's Extra Special Deluxe Tour! What's your name?"

At somewhat of a loss from the showmanship he just witnessed, he just managed, "Eddward."

The boy looked confused for a moment. "No, my name is Eddy, I don't go by Edward." He asked again, in a semi-annoyed tone. "What is your name, friend?"

"My apologies Eddy. My name is Eddward, much like yours. My parents spelled my name with two D's, I assume to differentiate me from others."

Eddy's grin melted off of his face as he let the information sink in. Then, to Edd's surprise, he started laughing. "Well Double-D, nice to meet ya! You know what, forget the 25 cents! Stick with me, and you'll be golden!" He put one arm around his shoulder, and led him around the building. Edd tried politely asking Eddy not to touch him, but the shorter boy seemed to not hear him. He showed him the bathrooms, the bedrooms, the kitchen, the cafeteria, the administrative offices, the library, and finally, the rec room.

As he led Edd around, they began conversing about the reasons they were "locked up" as Eddy put it. "My brother was the real crazy one, believe it or not. He was... Mean, abusive, and really just hateful. My parents didn't really believe me or care. They weren't there the majority of the time. So guess who got stuck babysitting me? One day, he was sitting on me, just pulling all of my hair out, one strand at a time, when I snapped."

Edd visibly flinched. "Oh my. What happened?"

Eddy's face took on a dark smile. "My adrenaline surged, and I threw him off. I still remember the look of shock on his face as I jumped on him and started repaying him for everything. By the end of it, I made sure that he wouldn't ever hurt me or anyone else again..." His eyes glossed over as if he was reliving every moment. Then, all of a sudden he was back. "Then I got shipped off here. Something about being 'a danger to myself and others'. Anyways, enough about me. What's wrong with you?"

Edd quickly explained what had happened, and as they talked he realized that Eddy's Red outfit was what signified that he was potentially dangerous to the both of them. The walked into the recreation room, to no fanfare. No one, it seems, noticed the new kid. Unbeknownst to the two new friends, a single blue eye (attached to a person, of course) was watching them with interest.

"First off, you gotta meet Ed. He's my best pal. Not too bright, but loyal! Loves comic books and monster movies, and has the most over-active imagination! He's a riot." Eddy ranted and raved about his other friend. He pointed out a kid bigger than all the rest, (around 6'4") dressed in all green, and they made their way over.
"Hey Lumpy! This here is Double-D! He's an Ed, like both of us!"

The giant boy turned around very slowly, and Edd started to feel nervous at the serious look he was given. Then, Ed's face broke into a huge, care-free grin and he shouted, "NEW FRIEND!" He ran up and scooped Double-D up, and hugged him with some bone-crushing strength.

"Ed, oxy...gen...please..."

Thankfully, Eddy intervened. "Thank you Eddy."

Lowering his voice a little, he quietly asked, "Why is Ed in here?"

"Oh, he doesn't need help. He's just here to watch over his sister. Speaking of which, follow me you two."

"Buttered toast, Eddy!" So that was what the green color meant...

They walked over to a red-headed girl, dressed in a light blue outfit who was in the corner playing with some dolls by herself.

"Hey, Sarah?" Eddy asked.

"Sarah's not here right now." Came a high pitched reply.

"Oh, sorry Jimmy." He turned to his friend. "Monobrow? You know what to do."

Ed's dopey expression suddenly became serious. He gently got down on his knees and said "Baby Sister that I love so much, where are you?"

The girl turned to him, and her voice had dropped to a normal tone. "I'm right here, Big Brother. Me and Jimmy are playing dollies."

He kissed her on the forehead. "You two have fun!" Ed got up, and Eddy led them away.

He introduced the new kid to Rolf (who thought he was from a foreign land no one had ever heard of before) "Oh ho! The son of a shepherd welcomes you, newest Edboy! The turnip harvest will be good this year yes?"

"Rolf! Tell me about the chickens again!" The tall, lanky boy appraised the giant Ed before him.

"As certain as Nana's back hair needs combing, Rolf shall!" Big Ed clapped excitedly as Rolf began speaking. "In the old country, Rolf had pastures as far as his eyes could see..."

Eddy motioned Double D aside as Rolf's story started to build steam. "Don't worry about Stretch. He's a little cooky, (Eddy pointed at his head, and moved his pointer finger in a clockwise motion) but one of the nicest guys around. I don't even know if he is crazy, or if he's really just a foreigner." He finished his story and Eddy pulled Ed away, so they could continue meeting people.

They walked over to a very attractive blonde girl who was sitting next to a guy with a red hat on backwards. The girl was clad in the same green as Ed, whereas her companion was wearing light blue much like Sarah.

"Umm... Hey Nazz." Eddy stammered out.

The girl ran up and gave Eddy a hug. "Hey Dude! What's up?"

The shortest Edboy jerked a thumb at Edd. "This here's Double D, he's new."

Nazz turned and inspected the new kid, then grabbed his hand and shook it. "Nazz."

Nervous sweat began to make its way down his forehead. "Edd, with two D's."

She giggled at his awkwardness. "Any friend of Eddy's is a friend of mine. I mean me, you, and Kev have known each other forever, right dude?" She glanced over at Eddy as she said this.

"Err... Umm... Yeah. Since the second grade." It was at this point Double D noticed an embarrassed hue of pink on the short boys cheeks.

Nazz turned to Kevin. "This is Double D, Kevin. Say hi."

The boy stared at the new kid and managed to get out "Duh...ble... DORK!"

The blonde girl was surprised. "That's a first! He hasn't ever said anything except that stupid word since the accident."

Edd looked intrigued. "Accident?"

Both Eddy and Nazz looked at the ground. "A few months after Eddy got sent off here, there was an accident. Kevin used to have this bike that he adored. Rode it everywhere, ya know?" Nazz took a breath before continuing. "One day, as he was leaving my house, he looked back at me as he peddled off, and I saw a car weaving back and forth towards Kevin. I tried to warn him, but it was too late. That car hit him without even slowing down. The driver was drunk, I think. He was in a coma for a few days, not to mention the emergency surgeries, and I wasn't sure if he'd make it. His parents showed up until he woke up, and then they figured out there was something wrong. The doctors said it didn't look like anything was wrong on his MRI, and that it might be psychological. So, they signed off and shipped him here." She finished with bitter resentment.

The mood in the room turned melancholy, until Ed added in "Chickens are nature's pudding."

Which broke some of the awkwardness, and then Double D asked, "Did you feel obligated to be here with him? Is that why you're still here?"

"I don't know dudes. I just keep hanging around, hoping that the old Kev will come back and sweep me off my feet again..." A faint blush tinged her cheeks. This was quickly ruined by the person in question loudly shouting "DORK!"

Her expression deflated. "Eddy could tell you better than I can about all of this."

Eddy gulped audibly. "Well, you see, me and Shovel Chin, err, Kevin used to compete over everything." They waved goodbye to the couple as the trio continued walking off. "Basketball, video games, and" (making sure he was out of Nazz's earshot) "err, girls too. Nazz was mine first, but he won her over. I didn't sweat it too much though. They went well together."

"Are you certain, Eddy? You seemed pretty flustered just talking to her..."

"Eh what do you know anyways, Sockhead?" He asked rhetorically, and then picked up the pace. "Come on, there's one more guy you gotta meet!"

Eddy rounded out the tour with a kid nicknamed Johnny 2x4. He was a little taller than Eddy, and had his head shaved bald. He had a piece of wood with him, a crude semblance of a face painted on it. Johnny called it Plank, and seemed to be having an actual conversation with the inanimate object. "Hiya Eddy! Hiya Ed! What are ya up to?"

"Hey Johnny Boy, this here is Edd. He's the new guy."

"Oh hey Edd, nice to meet y- What's that, buddy?" He leaned in towards the piece of wood. "Ha! Plank says you're a real basket case, Edd."

Double D didn't know what to say, as the boy talking to a board had just called him crazy. "Well... I'm sure everyone has their reasons for residing at this facility." Edd said in a very unsure tone.

"I'm just here to take care of Plank. He has an eating disorder, he barely eats anything!" The bald kid responded.

"Johnny is a laugh-a-minute, right Monobrow?" Asked the shorter boy.

"Plank has better jokes though, Eddy." Ed replied in a worry-free tone.

As Eddy was pointing out the various residents of the establishment, three sisters sitting on a couch in front of the only tv, had noticed the newest arrival. "Yo Marie, who's over there with my man?" Lee asked.

"I don't know, but he sure is dreamy!" She sighed over-dramatically.

May chimed in, "Now we can all have boyfriends!"

Lee was the first to stand up. "It'd be rude if we didn't introduce ourselves, right girls?" The three shared devious smirks.

"The only people you should try to avoid are the Kanker sisters."

"Why is that?"

"Just trust me on this one."

Their conversation was cut short as a voice rang out. "There you are!" A cute, blue-haired girl walked up to Double D. She was a little bit shorter than him (about 5'6"). Her cheeks had a few freckles, and her blue her swept down over her right eye. "How dare you just show up here after disappearing on me! The audacity!" She slapped him in the face. "What will I tell our kids?"

Edd was in shock. He barely even registered the slap as he tried to absorb all of this information. This girl appeared to start sobbing on his shoulder, then looked up with an evil smile and said, "Just kidding Oven Mitt! I'm Marie Kanker! Your future wife!"

He managed to choke out "E- Eddward. My friend calls me Double D, since my name has two in it." Finally taking his eyes off of the young woman in front of him, Edd looked for his two new friends, who looked to be running from a redhead and a blonde, respectively.

"If you're looking for your friends, my sisters are entertaining them." She flashed him an amorous smile. "So we can have all the alone time I err, we need...!" Double D felt sweat start pouring off of his body as she moved in for the kill.

"M-may I ask you to cease and desist? I am af-afraid that I do not know you well enough for this kind of intimacy!" He pleaded in a panicked tone as he backed up against a wall.

"All the more reason for us to have alone time, Muffin..." She was inches away from his face, and he closed his eyes and turned away. He felt something soft brush against his cheek, her lips. It was a very chaste kiss, and though he did not know this girl, a part of him did not want it to end. "That's enough of an introduction for today, I'll see you around..." He opened his eyes to see her turn and walk away, and exaggerated sway to her hips..

As she walked off, Double D put a hand up to the offended cheek she had both slapped and kissed, and watched her go with a perplexed look. What was that all about? He had never had so much physical contact in one day before. Or a kiss. This was all so unhygienic.

Meanwhile...

A door into the library slammed open. Eddy stood for a second, heart pounding in his chest as he surveyed his surroundings. He heard a gravelly voice giggle from down the hall, she was gaining fast. He cursed his luck (him and Ed really shouldn't have split up) and dove underneath a big, wooden table used for reading. His eyes glanced back towards the door, just in time to see some feminine feet enter. Those could only belong to his arch-enemy, the tallest, red-headed Kanker.

"Now where could my Little Man have gotten off to?" Lee Kanker mused aloud.

Eddy felt his blood boil. He hated being called short. Still, as long as he could stay hidden, he'd be fine. She started to stroll down the aisles of books, before stopping in front of the oak table Eddy was under. The boy didn't even dare to breathe. Then, she spoke in a taunting voice. "Come on out, Shrimp! Take it like a man! That is if ya are one! Maybe you're just a LITTLE COWARD instead!"

Eddy had, had enough. He burst out from under the table ready to rant at the oldest Kanker sister, a murderous glint in his eyes. "NOBODY CALLS ME-" he was cut off as she turned to him with an evil smile on her face.

"Gotcha!" Eddy realized too late that he had played right into her trap, and his anger deflated as she grabbed him. "I'd tell ya not to struggle, but it'd ruin the fun!" Lee cackled maniacally.

"HELP!"

Elsewhere...

A large boy was leaving a path of destruction behind him as he tried to lose his tormentor. "Hide hide hide! Ed needs to hide!" He picked up speed as he heard the voice of May Kanker calling after him.

"Big Ed! You know I'm gonna find ya! Why bother running?"

Ed dove into his (and Sarah's) room. He put all of his brainpower into devising a hiding place. He looked through the room.

"Aha!"

It didn't take the blonde long to reach his room, and she peered in. It was dark. She felt her way in, and walked over to a lamp that seemed to be ridiculously tall. She reached up and pulled the cord.

"Click!" The lamp said as it turned on, casting a very odd light through the lampshade. The youngest Kanker sister was by no means the smartest of the three, but something seemed off in this room.

"What are you doing, Ed?" She kept looking through the room, when a dopey laugh came from behind her.

" I sure am a good lamp!" He didn't realize his thoughts were voiced out loud until May tackled him and the light went out. "Ahh! Back vile woman! Do not eat my brains!"

The three boys met back up, looking disheveled. "And that..." Eddy had a dazed look as he continued. "Is why you avoid the Kanker sisters."

"Girl germs bad Eddy!" Ed chimed in.

"It would certainly seem that your precautionary warning was accurate, Eddy." Double D agreed.

"Let's show you to your room, Double D. You'll be bunking with me until the shrink clears you to sleep in your own room."

"Lead the way Eddy."

As hectic as his first day had been, Eddward felt strangely happy as he climbed into bed. He had made his first two friends today. He had received his first kiss, though it wasn't exactly voluntary. As he drifted off to sleep, a mess of blue hair covering one eye, freckles on her cheeks, and a devious smile filled his mind as his hand lightly touched his cheek again.