A/N: I couldn't help myself. I just had to! This chapter won't be a songfic but will be the reason this fanfic is under Hurt/Comfort. Still Ayanokoji's POV
Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC. I do own Kyosuke and Tsubaki.
Epilogue
It's been twenty years. Twenty years since Haruhi and I said 'I do'. I didn't care what my parents thought. I didn't care what anyone thought. I thought she and I would love each other until the end of our days, but she left me. Left us.
About five years about we were properly married, we adopted one child, just one. A little 8-year-old boy with brown hair and green eyes. He looked just like Haruhi when I first met her, so sweet. So innocent. So naïve.
His name was Kyosuke and we loved him as our own, sometimes Haruhi joked that I loved him more. I guess that was true in a way, I loved how much Tsubasa reminded me of Haruhi without even being biologically related to her.
Kyosuke would often come sleep in our room at night, afraid that the roof in his room would collapse. He was always so claustrophobic. Haruhi would laugh and welcome him with open arms. It annoyed me sometimes but I loved the look Haruhi would get when Kyosuke snuggled into her, the way she'd smile up at me before closing her eyes and going to sleep. I was always so afraid that she'd either open her eyes and remember Tamaki or never open her eyes at all.
It wasn't hard for anyone to tell that Kyosuke loved Haruhi more than me, I was alright with that. I knew his reasons for loving her, they were the same (if not more family-oriented) as my reasons. Kyosuke and I still loved each other, we just weren't as close with each other as we were with Haruhi. I miss those days.
Year 8, when Kyosuke was about 11 we adopted a baby girl. She was only about 1-year-old and her parents died in a car-crash. She was a quiet baby, she never cried and she never screamed. Her biological parents had yet to name her, so Haruhi and I named her Tsubaki. She was darling to us. I would often stay home to look after Tsubaki while Haruhi was working on important case.
She'd come home, hug Kyosuke before coming up to the nursery, kissing me and taking Tsubaki into her arms. I remember getting jealous of how she'd seem to pay more attention to Tsubaki than to me. When I told her this she chuckled, and told me that Tsubaki needed parental love and that's what she gave her. She then kissed me and showed me how much she loved me.
Year 12. I remember the fights we had. She started asking questions about why she transferred from Ouran to Lobelia and I got upset. We yelled at each other and I said something I shouldn't have. I'll never forget the look of hurt that crossed Haruhi's face. How she went upstairs to grab a few things and kiss Kyosuke and Tsubaki in their sleep before walking out the door. I remember how I stood frozen before collapsing to my knees and crying until I fell asleep on the floor.
I'd woken up in bed with Kyosuke checking my temperature. He was about 15 by then and he was incredibly strong. He didn't say anything but by the hurt look in his eyes I knew he'd heard every word Haruhi and I had said the night before. He left the room quickly to get himself and Tsubaki ready for school. I'd stayed in bed for the rest of the day, waiting for Haruhi to come home so I could apologise. I knew that she'd be hurting a lot but not nearly as much as I was.
How could I say that? How could I say that I wished I had never met her? How much I wished that I'd fallen in love with Tamaki and not her? I'm sure I sparked some kind of memory about him and now she's probably trying to track him down and ask him something. I hope she comes home. I want her to come home. I need her to come home. Kyosuke and Tsubaki need their other mother home.
At year 15, Kyosuke graduated from high-school and went on to university. Tsubaki begged him not to leave. Kyosuke kissed her forehead and said that he'd Skype her every night. She smiled at that and (albeit reluctantly) let him leave. Haruhi had come home but we were still arguing, even more so as the years went on. Tsubaki heard every fight and began to take sides. She sided with Haruhi of course, she also stopped calling me 'Mom' and started calling me 'Ayanokoji' as if I hadn't raised her. She started calling Haruhi 'Mommy' and stopped leaving her bedroom door open.
By then I knew that I'd stuffed up. I'd ruined our happy home and instead forced Haruhi into a world of pain. I can't imagine how she felt by then, but I knew that it hurt more than a grenade. I tried to apologise but it came out wrong every time and made things worse. We didn't sleep in the same bed anymore either, I missed her warmth, I missed making love to her at least three times a week, most of all I miss the morning kisses when she thinks I'm asleep. I'll always miss these things but I'll never have them back again, ever.
By year 17, Tsubaki moved into Kyosuke's apartment. Promising to Skype with Haruhi every night. I loved how happy she looked when she heard that, the tears of joy trailing down her delicate face. When Tsubaki left the fights just got worse and worse. We couldn't be in the same room together with screaming at each other. The fight that ruined my life though, it was all my fault, I had walked up to Haruhi and tried to apologise to her. It ended up sounding like I was being rude and she took immense offense. I got mad at her and started yelling right away, she yelled right back at me and . . . I don't know why I did it. I can't believe I did such a thing to my darling Haruhi.
I slapped her. I wasn't a soft one either. I backhanded her so hard that she fell to the ground and clutched her face I froze again as I realised what I'd done.
"Haruhi . . ." I'd whispered in shock. I leaned over to help her up but she scampered away from me.
"Get away from me!" She cried before running out of the room and to the house phone. She called her father and told him that she was coming and that she probably wouldn't return. My heart shattered when I'd heard that. She left almost immediately and I had fallen asleep crying again.
Year 18. The year we divorced. Haruhi got custody of Tsubaki who had come back after an incident with her brother's neighbour (who'd gotten drunk and attacked her). Haruhi and Tsubaki lived in the apartment next to Mr Fujioka's while I was left alone in the manor. Every night I had cried myself to sleep. I'd gone insane from how lonely it was without Haruhi. I had tried to take my own life but the butler stopped me. I was then put into 'isolation' where I couldn't hurt myself. The same feeling that I had felt when I'd first saw Haruhi weighed over my heart. I needed her like I needed oxygen. She was my lifeline and I found myself believing that I would die without her.
How right I was. But I wasn't the one who died.
Year 19, January. Haruhi had been in a car-accident. She was in a coma and I feared she wouldn't wake up. Tsubaki blamed me, when we'd bumped into each other at the hospital she started yelling at me about how much she missed and loved me and that if I hadn't been such a jerk than Haruhi might not even be in the hospital. She was right. I was an idiot.
Kyosuke wouldn't say a word and just sat beside the bed with his head in his hands. I'm guessing he was crying like I had for so many nights. Tsubaki pushed her long brunette hair behind her ear and glared at me with blue eyes before going straight to her brother. I had to leave, I just couldn't be there any longer. Seeing Haruhi like that . . . I just can't explain it.
I drove. I had no idea where I was going but I just drove. I eventually found myself at the mall I had proposed to Haruhi in. The tears came back and I couldn't stop myself from crying all over again.
Haruhi had been in a coma for 10 months. I had finally gone back to the hospital to tell her how much I love her as I exited the elevator time slowed down.
"NOOOOOO!" Kyosuke's voice screamed.
"MOMMY!" Tsubaki had screamed as loud as she could. By then I'd stopped. Doctors and nurses were rushing in and out of Haruhi's room.
"No-!" Was all that came out of my mouth before I collapsed to my knees. Everything went black quickly.
Which brings us to today. I stood inside the building as Haruhi's body was cremated. In her will, Haruhi wrote about how much she loved me, Kyosuke, Tsubaki and Mr Fujioka. That she remembered the Host Club after they'd adopted Kyosuke. That didn't surprise me since the Host Club members were there. Haruhi also wrote that she wanted Takashi Morinozuka to take care of Tsubaki and to never leave her side. She'd asked that they never forget her, which they wouldn't. Haruhi wrote that all her money and savings go to Kyosuke to help him through school. She literally wrote, "Go get 'em, Tiger!" in the will. She also asked that the twins take Tsubaki under their wings as she wanted to be a designer just like them. She wrote about how much she loved all who were called to the reading and that they had always held a special place in her heart. She never mentioned my name in the will apart from saying she loved me and that I was to be given an envelope for my eyes only.
That night I'd opened the envelope. And I was happy.
~My Dearest Angel Ayanokoji,
I love you like crazy and it hurt when we started arguing. I wanted to forgive you so bad but I couldn't, I wanted you to be the one to apologise. But you never did. I understand that you tried to at times but it never came out right and you never bothered to try and repair the mistakes. Sometimes I wondered if you loved me anymore but I know that's a stupid thing to believe. I know you love me but please remember that I will always love you. You were always the one thing that kept me sane and I miss being able to prove that to you. I miss your hair, your eyes, your hands, your legs, your waist, you brains, your beauty but mostly, I mostly miss your love. I wish you were never so afraid of losing me because if I hadn't loved you I would've left you years ago. Yes, I missed the Host Club but I was willing to sacrifice being around them if it meant I could be with you. Please don't cry when I'm gone. I want you to be happy, to find someone else to love. But never forget me and make sure to keep my picture beside your bed so I can watch you sleep. I also want you to patch things up with Kyosuke and Tsubaki, they were upset that you'd hurt me so bad but your still their other mother.
I can't wait until we're reunited, but please take your time. I want to watch you live life to its fullest while you still can. Even Heaven will be Hell without you.
Yours until the end of time, Haruhi~
I literally cried writing this.