It wasn't necessary. The Crew's Quarters had their own bathrooms, which were immaculate compared to those aboard Alliance Navy ships. It wasn't even practical, and arguably less romantic than vids made them out to be, where one party was always left cold or wanting. But in the rare moments of downtime she was afforded, Shepard relished inviting Kaidan to shower with her in the Captain's Cabin.

The chill in her Quarters made for more restful sleep, but the brisk air during those necessary states of undress never failed to prickle her skin immediately. Ever the gentleman — or perhaps dutiful subordinate officer — Kaidan invariably let her under the toasty spray first, with a chivalrous half-smile and stolen glance as she passed. The tight quarters ensured neither were left particularly cold or wanting at any given time, but even so, Shepard only allowed a few moments of warmth to spread over her skin before circling to let her partner under the pleasant stream.

Kaidan always went in face first, which she could never understand. An unfortunate incident during a brief stopover on a water planet had left a young Shepard coughing and sputtering for nearly half an hour, which was only a bit more unpleasant than the embarrassment of doing so in front of the other Alliance brats she'd been trying to impress. But Kaidan's fearlessness gave Shepard the opportunity to glide her fingertips up and down his back as his skin prickled under the pleasant cascade.

They joked about whose turn it was to grab a favored scent of shampoo, or which crew member had given the side-eye to Kaidan as he conspicuously tiptoed by with a change of clothes in a small duffel. Sometimes they didn't speak at all, neither of them noticing the silence as they slid around each other in a synchronous dance of modest seduction.

Sometimes a shadow fell across Kaidan's eyes as he ran a finger over a scar usually shrouded by the dim lights of the bedroom where she preferred to be seen naked. The harsh blue glow of the shower was less forgiving, revealing imperfections and haunted expressions of a memory briefly forgotten, tamped down. In response, Shepard traced along his jaw, bringing Kaidan back to the moment, reminding him she was there with him now.

In the heat of battle, in that disturbing calm that sharpened her senses to razor tips and cracked higher-strung officers, she sometimes found herself distantly promising a longer cleansing digression when it was all over. More time softly raking her nails through Kaidan's slick hair as he grinned at her, both of them in genuine peace. There usually wasn't time for anything more than a perfunctory scrub, too often alone, but every once in a while, she granted herself the reward.

It may not have been as steamy as the vids, but standing there in Kaidan's arms, a rush of velvety water bridging the space between their bodies, elicited a calm and simple gratefulness she felt nowhere else. Wherever they ended up after all this, Shepard hoped she could find as much peace as she did standing there in that cramped stall wrapped in Kaidan's arms.