Jay drove recklessly the whole way to the hospital, constantly yelling down his radio at his dad about how he was driving as fast as he could. He was telling the truth. He had made room to splay my leg across the chair, onto his lap so I wasn't put through that much pain but there was a throb I couldn't ignore. I had been put through much worse pain, except this felt worse in every aspect. Jay hadn't even brought up the fact that I had lost my technique with Ashkii, and I really hoped he would never ask.

Once at the hospital the rush inside was too panicked and stressful for my own good, as halfway through the carpark Jay was getting so fussed over getting me in safely that he ended up dropping me on my bad leg.

"Look, I know you're trying to do this safely but you don't have to carry me." I warned him, just wrapping my arm over his shoulder and allowing him to help me limp in. Jay explained the situation a bit too dramatically to the receptionist because I wasn't urgent, but still the woman told us to take a seat and wait in the A&E waiting room. So I had to sit with a throbbing and possibly-broken leg until the doctors became available, and Jay didn't seem quite happy about that prospect either. His leg was tapping impatiently against the marble floor, his shoes making a noise that was unnecessary. I was close to telling him to contain himself, but the waiting room was so eerie that I didn't want to disturb the peace.

After what felt like hours - and it had turned out to be hours - we were finally taken in to be analysed. Yet again, Jay took the role upon himself to explain to the doc what had happened and why the incident had happened. Apparently, now I was injured, I was incapable of everything even though it was only my foot in pain. The doctor checked me over, checking places of tension and pain so he could tell what had happened. It ended up having to be X-Rayed, which was far from what I felt like I needed. After ages, he finally concluded that I had chipped my knee, and it would take only about a week to heel with the right care. Jay was thankful but I could still see it in his face that he was angry it had taken so long just to be told it wasn't anything to worry about. He bandaged me up and gave me a crutch to support my bad leg, and Jay ushered me out without being too ungrateful.

By the time we had gotten to the car however, Jay's harsh and angry expression had softened and had become more curious. Immediately warning alarms began to ring inside my head. What would he ask? He wanted to ask something, I just wondered whether it was about my lack of skill with Ashkii. After five minutes in the truck, Jay radio'ed the farm to let them know we were returning. In his tone there was a hint of hostility, like he was hurt.

"What's crawled up your butt and died?" I asked, stretching out my bad knee and flinching at the shoot of pain. He just grunted. Still nothing. It was like he had turned back to the old Jay I had first met when I arrived at the farm for the first time, and I remembered clearly that I didn't like Jay when he was an asshole. We pulled up at the farm and Jay, with an exasperated sigh, fell back in the driver's seat and glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

It was coming. He was going to ask me.

"Is your leg hurting?" He asked. My heart jumped with probable surprise. Had I heard him right? I checked over his expression, and I could tell he was biting back curiousity, and it was only a matter of time until those questions came bursting out at me. I'd rather them come later than sooner, in fact, I'd prefer them to come never.

"Only a little" I replied quietly. The atmosphere had become intensely awkward and I watched out the window as Jay drove back like a normal human being now. I unwound my window to feel the rustic wind flood my face, feeling myself ease slightly from the fresh air. Neither of us spoke but listened to the bad connection on the radio, the only thing keeping us from sitting in complete silence. The ranch finally came into sight and I was thankful, because at least there would be less silence. As soon as we pulled up and the engine rumbled to a halt, Jay jumped out and around the car to help me out. "I can do it, I'm fine" I hastily warned, jumping out onto my good foot and grabbing my crutch. Hearing our arrival, Cory and Paul came bounding out to ask me questions about the injury, in which Jay quickly explained to them in his fed-up, frustrated voice.

What I had done to make him so grumpy was beyond me.

"Come on then Jodie, we'll make you some tea inside" Paul said, Cory stayed in pace with me while Jay stormed towards the horse pen.

"Don't worry about him, he always takes horse rides when he's mad, he'll be back before you know it." Cory told me quietly so Jay couldn't hear. I watched as he grabbed his horse and jumped on, galloping off into dusk setting over the desert. Inside I settled myself at the dining table while Paul made me some tea, and the whole ordeal had my heart pumping. Why? Because I knew I had some explaining to do. When they would ask me was a mystery, but I hoped it wasn't soon because I didn't know what I would say. How would I explain Aiden? He wasn't easy to explain in any shape or form. How would I explain the Black Sun? My life was a thread of confused, complicated tales and I was beginning to forget what memory came where. My time in solitude had given me too much time to think and explaining what had happened to me to these people would prove a difficult task, but I wanted to make a go at it. When I was ready.

Ryan would have known all about my life, I wouldn't have had to explain to him what my life entailed. He didn't care. I wanted these people to forget that I had lived a life before them and focus on the life we were going to spend together instead of what I used to be.

Cory headed out to find Jay for dinner while Paul left me in silence, a bad decision in my opinion. Whenever I was left in silence my thoughts would focus on a particular memory.

"Watch yourself out there Jodie. I don't want anything to happen to you." Ryan's eyes were worried but strong and it warmed me to see somebody care about me like that. A small smile crept onto my face, and I leant forward to kiss him. I never got used to kissing him, seeing as he was meant to be my 'boss' as it were. I felt him smile back against my lips and I moved away, teasing him.

"We still have time before I go, right?" There a long silence but Ryan just began to smile. His hand reached for mine and he lead me away.

They were always sharp memories, small scenes from random points in time that I would never be able to remember what happened afterwards. We were in army uniform so I knew it was around the same time as the mission, and I cringed at how I literally couldn't recall at what point that memory came. When I came back down to the ranch and into reality it was no longer me and Paul, but Cory and Jay had returned. Looking at Jay there a small flutter in my heart. I felt guilty; like thinking of Ryan was somehow unfaithful but it wasn't. Ryan had played a huge part of my life and he deserved to remain a huge part in my memory. If my memory of him withered, so would a huge portion of my life.

"Everybody sit yourselves down." Paul said when he had placed the last dish of food on the table in front of me, and I smelt the corn of the cob and a small trace of drool gathered in my mouth. The food was nice but I avoided eye contact with all three of them throughout, because I felt like they had lingering questions on their tongues and one moment of eye contact meant they would be fired at me. The sound of a gunshot echoed through my brain and at the sudden noise I jumped, causing the whole table to look at me in alarm.

"Sorry... I just... It was nothing" I said. If I told them I had heard a gunshot in my head then many alarm bells would ring and that meant their questions would be definitely asked, and I wasn't ready for that.

The night was quite sweet, because we were resting in their living room until we decided it was time for bed. Gathering my crutch and my things I set off for bed before Jay, because I knew for some reason he was mad at me. I struggled pulling off my pants, and it was like I had sent some telepathic message because Jay had come in to help.

"Here" He knelt down in front of me and helped pull them off, avoiding the bandage to try to keep it in its place. He went to get my pyjamas but I held up one hand and told him not to worry. So I pulled off my top and decided to stay in my underwear, and Jay stripped down too, jumping into bed beside me. The difference between my first night and this night was that Jay didn't embrace me, in fact he kept his back to me like I had done some unforgivable activity that he couldn't get his head around. I mean, not being able to tame Ashkii like I used to was something he needed to get his head around and I would help him, but was it really that bad?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:/ I'd just like to thank everybody for the follows, favourites and reviews because I really appreciate it! It's been absolutely ages since I've updated this and I apologise sincerely for that, because I've just been distracted by other things, like my wattpad account, school etc! If you wish to take a look at some of my original stories on wattpad then just go to user/emilymumbles they are all pretty much romance stories :') that might not be your thing and if it isn't then you don't have to worry :) you reading this is all I ask! THANK YOU EVERYONE!