Weeks go by and nothing changes. I haven't gained any more weight after I started purging, though I haven't really lost any, either. I'm less than satisfied with the way I look, but keeping up appearances for Hunter is more important. What he doesn't know can't hurt him, and half the time it doesn't even hurt me.

After he gets home on Friday night I can't help but notice he looks off. He seems weary, like it takes far too much effort for even the smallest of tasks. I walk over to greet him after watching through the bedroom doorway for a few minutes, "Hey, are you alright?"

He sighs heavily, "I'll be fine, thanks..."

I put my hand gently on his arm, "Are you sick?"

"No, no, I'm fine..." he mutters quickly, walking into the other room to get dressed.

I follow him, not buying a word of it, "Are you sure, hon? You don't look so good..."

"I'm okay, Sebastian, I just told you twice!" He snaps.

I pause for a moment, a little bit shocked. Hunter's always had kind of a short fuse, but it's never been like this. He gets mad easily, but not without any good reason. I lean against the wall instead of getting any closer to him, "Hunt, just... Just tell me the truth. Something's obviously up. You can deny it all you want but it won't make me believe you any more..."

He frowns, exhaling slowly, "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just tired, it's been a long, miserable day. Is that good enough for you?"

I purse my lips, "Babe, it's not about what's good enough for me. I'm worried about you. What happened that made your day so bad?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

I walk over and sit next to him, "Can you just give me a rough idea? If you don't want to get into details that's fine, but I-"

"No," he says quickly, his voice heating up again, "Just please get out of my face. I'm not in the mood to deal with this tonight."

"Well I'm sorry I didn't realize talking with someone who cares about you was such a damn chore!" I reply as I get up to walk away, feeling hurt.

"I didn't say it was a fucking chore, Bas!" he says as he follows me into the main room, "I just said I don't want to talk about it. I don't get why you're so bent out of shape over that!"

"Because you're not acting like yourself and I'm worried, okay? I love you and I'm sorry if my concern is an annoyance!"

He bites his lip, "I just- You're better off not knowing. Really. I'm sorry if I'm taking this out on you-"

"Just tell me!" I shout, quickly getting more worked up than he is, "I'm you're boyfriend, Hunter! If you're as serious about me as you pretend to be than there shouldn't be anything that you have to hide from me!"

He takes a deep breath before walking over to me and putting his hands on my shoulders, "You want to know the truth, Sebastian? Because I guarantee you're not going to like it all. Believe me when I say that you'd be dodging a bullet if you don't push this any further..."

"I still do," I reply, trying to relax, "I want to know. I'm not just here for the good times, you know that."

He nods mutely as he sits my down on the couch, "Okay, I'm just going to tell you how it is, then. I haven't been entirely honest with you," he begins, a nervous look on his face, "Up until, well, this morning actually, I've still been using. I've been stressed out and everything from working and I couldn't cope with it. But then I realized that among the many other issues associated with doing drugs, I've had to work that much more to be able to afford it, which means less time with you, and, well, it's just been a mess."

My first reaction is to cry, but I don't. Then I feel angry for a moment, but it quickly passes. As soon as my head is clear all I can really feel towards him is empathy. I've been in the same situation as he is, and I have no right to be upset with after what I've been doing. If anything, I've had it a lot easier. I reach out and take his hand, "It's okay... I appreciate that you're trying to stop, and I get that this has been really hard on you. I should really be trying harder to find a job myself, it's just..." I pause for a moment, "Well, since you're coming clean I guess I should too..."

His eyes meet mine, warm yet serious, "What do you mean?"

I run a hand nervously through my hair as I look down at the floor, "Well, I haven't been entirely honest, either. I've been eating but more often than not I just throw everything back up again... I'm sorry and I know it's that much worse because we're barely getting by as it is and we certainly can't afford to be wasting food, and-"

He squeezes my hand comfortingly, "Sebastian. Relax. Obviously I'm not thrilled, but I'm not mad. If you just be honest with me all the time, I can help you. If you don't feel comfortable eating three square meals a day, I'm not going to force you... It's gonna be a process, you're just gonna have to try and work with me."

I nod, hugging him, "Thanks, babe. And same goes for you, I'm here for you, too. And I'm gonna find a job somewhere and I'm going to help so that you don't have to work so much... I love you."

He kisses me on the cheek, "I love you, too, sweetie. But you don't have to start working if you're ready too. We'll save a good bit of money just by me staying off drugs and stuff."

I smile as I let him go, "And we could start showering together. I will find a job, though. Truth be told I feel horrible that it's already been this long..."

He shrugs, "Well, if you want. No pressure, though."

Hunter is still certainly on edge for the next several days, but I'm more than happy to put up with it. Meanwhile I've been struggling to eat without throwing up afterwards. I'm making progress, but I'm not there yet. I've also let Hunter know what's been going on with me and despite his concerns, he's been extremely supportive.