A/N: A little something that came to mind one night while I was driving home. Just something to lighten the mood since Therapy has been pretty heavy recently. Maura may be OOC slightly. Enjoy!
Jane sighed as she rubbed her forehead with her right hand, the left perched on her hip. She didn't feel like doing this right now. As a matter of fact, the only thing she felt like doing was going off like a bomb on the man standing before her and walking out, going straight to her best friend's house and just staying there until everything went away.
"Casey, I am not arguing with you over this anymore. You leave tomorrow. You got your answer, and I'm not changing it."
"What happened to how much you wanted to be with me?"
"What happened to understanding that I don't want to settle down right now?" Jane asked, exasperated. "Casey, I love you, but-" she paused, swallowing thickly. She had just fucked up and she knew it.
Casey looked at her, the words sinking in. "But," he repeated quietly. "There should never be a but."
Jane sighed, "You're right, there shouldn't be."
"Which 'but' is this pertaining to?" he asked, making air quotes around the word in question.
"What do you mean, which 'but?'" Jane asked, also making air quotes, her irritation growing. "I didn't know there was more than one being discussed right now."
"The one where you love your job more than me, or the one where you love Maura more than me?" he asked quietly, the hurt evident in even his eyes.
Jane listened to his question and felt a wave of nausea wash over her body. She felt like a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, or watching something inappropriate after bedtime. She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to confirm it, but she didn't really want to deny it either. Lying would hurt everyone involved, including the woman being discussed but not currently in the room.
"I don't know what you're talking about on either of those counts, but I don't love my job more than you, and I have never said that I'm in love with Maura."
"I didn't say-" Casey paused, hearing the faint vibrating of his cell phone. He sighed, irritated, and moved to the kitchen table, picking it up and sending the call to voice mail without even looking at the caller ID. "I didn't say anything about you being in love with Maura, I said you love her more than you love me. I don't need to ask the question to see how you feel about her."
"I have never said that I love her at all, or that –" Casey's phone began to ring again, causing attention to be pulled away from the conversation at hand.
Casey clenched his jaw and ignored the call once more, his anger rising over his conversation with Jane and the constant interruption.
"Why did you say no?" he asked. "If you wanted be so badly, and you cared so much, and you want to be with me, why did you say no?"
"Because I'm not ready to get married right now, Casey. And to be honest, that was a pretty fucked up way of proposing."
"How?" he asked. "What did I do wrong?"
"For starters," Jane sighed as the phone began to ring again.
Casey ignored the call, picking the phone up and practically throwing it back on the table.
"For starters, you didn't even do anything special for it."
"We had lunch in the park! I asked you with the ring in hand."
"No, you put the ring in my palm, and told me to think about it. You weren't even sure enough about being with me to actually ask it in question form, much less put the ring on my finger."
"Okay, what else did I do wrong?"
"You tried to negotiate marriage, Casey!" she snapped. "You told me that the only way you wouldn't leave again was if I married you. You've been gone-"
Casey's phone began to ring once more, and this time he picked it up and ignored the call, turning it off and tossing it across the room onto the couch. It landed with a soft thud, bouncing slightly, and once he made sure it wasn't going anywhere, he turned once more to face Jane.
"You have been gone on and off for so long," she told Casey, "you come and go as you please and it's totally okay. I waited for you for so long. I kept waiting. You came back and didn't even tell me you were here," she said quietly, tears causing her voice to crack. "Then, when it comes time to get to know me, you spend about two months doing that, and then you decide it's time to get engaged. We haven't even actually dated, Casey. We don't even live together, for Christ's sake!" she snapped, talking with her hands now. "You proposed to me and told me all within the same sentence that I was not, am not, as important as your career. If you can put yours before me," she hesitated, knowing how cruel this would sound, "then I deserve to put mine before you."
"I'm willing to stop, Jane," he told her. "To stay here with you and make a life with you. I want that. I want us. I want you."
"Casey, that's not what I want."
"Then what do you want?"
"I want someone who can be with me, and also keep their career," Jane told him. "I don't want to feel like I'm forcing them to choose between me and what they do every day because they love it. I want someone who comes home from work with me and talks to me about their day and can manage me and a career because they want both bad enough. But most importantly, at the end of the day, I want to know that I mean more than their career. That they would give it up for me, but they know I would never ask them to, because I love them and the fact that they love what they do. I don't want someone who makes me feel like a compromise, Casey. And honestly, that is exactly how you made me feel," she confessed quietly.
Casey sighed as he ran a hand through his short, salt and pepper hair. Jane was right. He had backed her into a corner and expected her to ask him to stay. Because he felt like he needed a reason to. He felt like he needed to hear Jane say she wanted this for the long haul, because if that wasn't the case, then he had nothing left here in Boston anymore.
"I'm sorry."
"I know," she said quietly, "but that doesn't fix it, and it doesn't change my mind."
Casey nodded, his eyes falling to the table in front of him as he leaned forward and pressed his palms against the edge. "Are you going to answer the Maura question?" he asked, not meeting Jane's eyes.
Jane thought for a moment, unsure of what to say. "No, I don't think I am."
"Why?"
"Because according to you, I don't have to," she told him as she walked into her bedroom and shut and locked the door.
Casey shook his head and clenched his jaw, walking away from the table and to Jane's couch. As he sat down he picked up his phone, turning it back on. As soon as it came on, he went to the visible voice mail box, checking to see who had called so many times. At first, he didn't recognize the number, and thought it was just a mix up. Then he realized that the same number had been the one to call him individual times back to back. He stared at the number, trying to put a name with it. When he couldn't, he gave up and selected the first voice mail, pressing the small play button and holding his phone to his ear to listen.
"Heeeeey Casey!" the slurred voice of one Maura Isles rang out over the speaker. "How's Jane? How are things? I bet she is so PISSED at you right now," she said, giggling slightly. The faint sound of music could be heard in the back ground. "OHH! I love this song!" Maura started to sing. "Jessie's got himself a girl, and I wanna make her miiine! Oh! Casey! Casey's got himself a girl and I wanna make her mine! Aaaand she's watchin' him with those eyes, and she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it! Goodness, Jane's body," Maura sighed, giggling. "He's holdin' her in his arms late, late-" the voice mail cut off, Maura's voice suddenly cutting off.
Casey stared at the phone, unsure if he wanted to hear the rest of the messages. He went to the next and selected it.
"You know I wish that I had Casey's girl!" Maura sang loudly into the phone, the music still going on behind her. "I wish that I had Casey's girl! Where can I find her, a woman like that!? Oh wait, I already did, haha!" she laughed, snorting slightly. "I'll play along with this charade, there doesn't seem to be a reason to chan-" the voice mail ended, the line silent.
Casey sighed and shook his head, blushing slightly at what he was hearing. Maura was obviously drunk, but it sounded like she was at home alone. In the back ground he couldn't hear any of the usual background noise a crowded bar would supply. Better yet, how had she gotten this number? He shook his head as he went to the third voice mail, bouncing his leg as irritation ate at him once more.
"And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time, wonderin' what she doesn't see in meeeee," Maura sang, her rhythm off. She mumbled the next two lines, finishing with, "Tell me why can't I find a woman like that?" Maura paused, giggling quietly. "I wish that I had Casey's giiiiirl," she sang , her speech slurring more than before.
Casey laughed halfheartedly as he finished listening to the third voice mail. "I bet you do, Ms. Isles."
Casey stared at the fourth voice mail, unsure if he wanted to check it or not. He felt torn over this. Maura was obviously drunk and obviously hurting, and this would be humiliating for her tomorrow, but at the same time, the woman was calling him and telling him she wanted his fiancé. He sighed as he moved on to the final voice mail.
"I wish that I had Casey's girl! I wish that I had Casey's girl!" Maura sang softly, the music having ended long ago, Casey assumed. "Hmm," she murmured quietly, "I wish I had her," Maura confessed quietly in her inebriated state. "You are a lucky man, and if you ever hurt her, ever, remember that I am a medical examiner and I will kill you," Maura threatened, laughing darkly. "But take care of Jane, Casey. I love her."
There was a moment of silence before the voice mail ended, a soft sniffle heard as it clicked off. Casey had been able to hear the tears in Maura's voice and knew that even if she was drunk, that was probably the most heartfelt and nicest thing she could currently say to Casey. Maura hated him, and he knew it, and after hearing all of this, he couldn't really blame her. Casey stayed still a moment before he stood and walked to Jane's bedroom door, hesitating before knocking softly.
"Jane?" he asked softly.
"Go away," she replied from the other side, her voice muffled.
"I need you to hear something," he told her. "It's Maura."
There was only a few seconds silence before he heard Jane quickly move off the bed and across the floor, the wooden surface being jerked open and Jane's face coming into view, concern and worry written on her sharp features.
"Did she call me? Is she okay?"
"No, she called me, and I think she's drunk."
"That's bullshit. Maura doesn't get drunk."
"Well, she's definitely not sober," Casey told her, handing over his phone. "She left me four voice mails and I think you need to hear them."
Jane took the phone, eyeing Casey before she looked down at the dimly lit touch screen. Sure enough, as she read the numbers silently, she recognized Maura's cell number. She thought it over, curious as to how the doctor had gotten Casey's number. She selected the first voice mail and began listening, walking out of the door way as she did. She could hear the slur in Maura's words and felt her heart sink. But as soon as Maura started singing, she had to suppress her laughter. Maura was not only drunk but she wasn't exactly Adele when it came to singing, the uneven tones making Jane giggle quietly. Her heart broke as she listened to each voice mail, getting through two without laughing. She got to the third and lost it, listening to Maura just mumble through the two lines she didn't know before belting out the Casey's girl part.
As the fourth voice mail came on, Jane was giggling quietly until she heard the slight "hmm" emitted by Maura. It was low and sultry, a slight pain hidden in the deep timber. It made Jane's stomach drop and her hands itch to touch the blonde. She listened to Maura's quiet words and all the laughter fell from her face, that was until Maura threatened to kill Casey. She listened to Maura's quiet, inebriated confession and felt her heart skip a beat before dropping, realizing what the doctor had just said in Casey's voice mail of all places.
Casey watched Jane, angered by her reaction. He listened to her quiet laughter and felt angry that she found this amusing. He could hear Maura's words muffled through the speaker and his irritation grew. As Jane handed his phone back he could see it in her eyes that he had just officially lost her, because he had never truly had her to begin with.
"So you find this funny?"
"Yeah, actually, I do."
"She drunk called me. Four times."
"You've never drunk dialed anyone?"
"That isn't the point."
"No, it isn't," Jane snapped, standing up and glaring down at Casey. "The point is that I made a mistake. A huge one. Casey," she paused, unsure of how to continue as she eased off her ring. "I can't do this. Tonight has shown me a lot. Most importantly that I can't be with you. If I can't be more than an option for you, then I can't be with you. I'm sorry," she mumbled as she turned and grabbed her keys and phone, heading towards the door. "Please don't be here when I come back in the morning."
"Where are you going?" he asked angrily, finally standing.
"To help Maura," Jane said, "because she is my priority. She is always my priority," Jane admitted before she walked out of the door, leaving Casey standing in her living room with an engagement ring and four drunk dialed voicemails.