(AN: I know I'm a terrible person for updating so rarely, but I swear I won't abandon the story. Pinky promise. Enjoy the chapter and forgive any mistakes, I may have rushed through editing it in my excitement.)

Blaise came barging in like he owned the place, and for once, Draco wasn't nearly as irritated as he was amused by the interruption, for a two-second-long glance at Blaise's face told Draco that his best friend was absolutely livid.

This observation was confirmed when Blaise snapped, "Bloody redhead! All that Gryffindor courage and not an ounce of intelligence. Honestly I told Luna she shouldn't be friends with her!"

Draco opened his mouth but found himself struck speechless which rarely happened. Though admittedly it seemed to be happening more and more of late, which was just one of the disquieting changes taking over his life. Still, he had imagined this conversation with Blaise, the one he had put off the other day, but he had never imagined it starting off like this.

Blaise rounded on him. "Aren't you going to say something?"

Turning his eyes back to the book clutched in his hands, Draco shifted into a more comfortable position on his bed. He had missed all of his classes today, completely unwilling to deal with the lessons that were a hoax, the teachers that loathed him, and the students that feared him. Instead, he had grabbed this book and forced his mind to focus on it for hours and hours. It was much easier than focusing on his life that stood in ruins even two days later after the event that had shattered everything: the event named Ginny Weasley. Draco strongly suspected that the 'bloody redhead' Blaise was referring to was her, and so he deftly avoided it. "Anything interesting happen in class today?"

Blaise's dark eyes narrowed at him, and his friend snatched the book from his hands. Throwing it aside with a casual flick of his wrist, Blaise spoke in a modulated voice, "Don't play coy, Draco. I'm not some empty headed girl hoping to jump into your bed."

"No you're an empty headed boy hoping to jump into my bed."

"Cute, Malfoy."

Draco couldn't help the slight smile that curled his lips. It had been a long time since he had mocked Blaise this way, and he missed it. This – this joking between them – was one of the reasons they had remained friends. "You should know by now that you don't have to work that hard to get into my bed, Zabini."

Blaise snorted. "No one has to work that hard to get into your bed. Just show up past ten."

"I'm not that easy," Draco muttered with a frown. "And you know that I don't like empty-headed girls. Not even Daphne is stupid."

"No, your taste in girls is much worse than empty-headed. Apparently your taste in girls is suicidal these days."

Ah, Draco's inner voice breathed in defeat. They were back to it then – the reason Blaise had come baring into his room: Ginny Weasley. He couldn't help closing his eyes and scrubbing at his face, as if he could wipe away the strain of dealing with Ginny Weasley, a strain that he had willingly accepted and kept accepting. He was going to go prematurely grey with this stress, and he found himself acting almost careless in response. His emotions and thoughts were all over the place these days, but he couldn't put Blaise off forever. They would have to talk about it, and today was as good a day as any.

"Do I even want to ask what she did?"

Blaise crossed his long arms and cocked an eyebrow at Draco. "Your little pet grabbed me in the hallway."

Now that was a surprise. "Why'd she grab you?"

Noting Draco's tone, Blaise nearly smiled, but the serious light in his eyes kept the smile away. "Don't be jealous, Draco. She grabbed me because she couldn't find you."

Draco didn't want to admit that the information filled him with relief, especially when he had absolutely no reason to have been jealous in the first place. As though Blaise would ever entangle himself with Ginny Weasley. But the jealousy was just one of the many irrational feelings surging through him these days, and Draco had given up reining them in. It was honestly too much work.

"She wants you to meet her and her merry band of idiots in the library next period."

From Blaise's voice Draco knew his best friend was solidly against the idea. In fact, he couldn't believe that Blaise had even agreed to deliver the message. Before he could ask though, Blaise was answering. "She threatened to do something stupid, even more stupid than usual, to get this message to you unless I delivered it."

The anger was back in Blaise's voice, and Draco fought hard to keep himself from laughing or even cracking a smile, not fancying a hex from the end of Blaise's wand. But it was hilarious. Blaise so rarely got irritated; irritating him was a skill that Draco had only mastered after years of practice, but Ginny had apparently acquired it in a matter of minutes. Somehow Draco wasn't surprised. The image of Ginny getting in Blaise's face, threatening him with absolutely no fear in her Gryffindor heart, made Draco chuckle shortly.

Blaise's eyes narrowed once more. "Is anything about this situation funny to you, Draco? Because please, clue me in. I would enjoy a laugh in the face of death and torture."

Draco's laugh quickly turned into a sigh, and he eyed Blaise warily. So, they were back to that then. "No, it isn't funny," he admitted, "though the idea of Ginny threatening you would make anyone laugh. I wish I could have seen it."

"Maybe you could have, if you weren't hiding yourself away in your room like a coward."

That was a low blow, and Draco could read the satisfaction in Blaise's face as Draco tensed up at the accusation. He was not a bloody coward. "Are we having this conversation now, then?"

"What conversation?"

"The one I postponed the other day," Draco waved his hand absently. "The one where you tell me I'm being an idiot and warn me away from her and then insult me some more."

"Oh, you mean the conversation we shouldn't even be having because it's bloody common sense?" Blaise snapped back.

"That would be the one."

Draco strongly suspected that Blaise wanted to hit him in that moment, but he knew that his best friend wouldn't. Blaise's third stepfather had had a bit of a temper on him, and ever since then, Blaise had refused to raise a hand to anyone. Draco couldn't really blame him. No, Blaise's weapon of choice was sharp, well-directed words.

Draco was just settling in for a long lecture, punctuated with insults undoubtedly, when Blaise struck him speechless for the second time.

"No."

Draco blinked up at him stupidly, unable to believe his ears. "No?"

Blaise shook his head, his folded arms only tightening against his chest as he glared down at Draco. "No," he repeated in a firm voice. "No, we will not be having that conversation because there's absolutely no point."

"You don't think you can talk me out of it?"

"No."

"You aren't even going to try?"

"No."

"But I thought you didn't want me to risk my life."

Blaise shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want to get yourself killed over some ridiculous girl, I can't stop you."

A small spike of anger flared in Draco's chest at the insult to Ginny, but he held it back, knowing that it would only incite Blaise farther. Besides, he was very intrigued with this new stance Blaise was taking. For as long as they had been friends – real friends, the friendship sealed in their fourth year – Blaise had never remained silent when Draco was doing something foolish. In fact, Blaise had physically hauled him away from idiotic dares on more than one occasion.

Tilting his head at a curious angle, Draco couldn't help but ask, "What's changed?"

"Nothing," Blaise shrugged, finally dropping his rigid stance to lean against one of the bed posts. "You certainly haven't."

"Ah," Draco sighed out, a sense of relief filling him at Blaise's cryptic statement, for it meant his friend hadn't given up on him completely. It was one of Draco's greatest fears that Blaise would simply tire of pulling him back from the edge one day and walk away, but he'd be damned before he admitted to that. So this cryptic statement soothed him, as Blaise only spoke cryptically when he knew something he assumed you did not. "And what does that mean in that cunning head of yours?"

He hadn't really expected Blaise to answer – if anybody liked their secrets more than Draco, it was Blaise – but he did. "It means that Ginny Weasley is going to ask you to join the side of good, and you aren't going to and that'll be the end of it."

Draco's eyes sprang open, an odd anger filling him. "She will not," he snapped. "I've already made it perfectly clear that I will not choose sides in this war."

"And I'm sure that she was disappointed at that," Blaise's superior smirk grated on Draco's mind.

"She was," he forced out, "but she agreed to it."

"For now."

And finally, Draco was done. Sitting up abruptly he nailed Blaise with a piercing, angry look that was known to strike terror into first years' hearts. "What in the bloody hell are you getting at, Zabini?"

If Blaise was surprised at Draco's anger, he hid it well. Instead of shock in his dark eyes, Draco saw something dangerously close to pity. "I'm not being cruel, Draco; I'm being honest. Being neutral will not be enough for Ginny Weasley. Eventually, she's going to want you to choose the side of good, and when you can't, she'll leave you."

Draco forced himself to snort derisively, but it wasn't very convincing. Blaise had hit the mark on Draco's greatest fear. He had never been enough for anyone. He wasn't cold enough for his father. He wasn't warm enough for his mother. He wasn't cruel enough for the Dark Lord. He was never enough, and now, he was terrified that he wouldn't be enough for Ginny Weasley.

For so long, she had been his redemption, the one person he had never let down. But now, he had thrown himself into her path. Now, she knew him. Now, he ran the risk of not being enough, and Draco didn't know if he would be able to stand failing her.

"She wouldn't be that naïve," he heard himself say distantly, his heart furiously hoping that it was true. Surely, Ginny who had had the Dark Lord in her head, would not be foolish enough to believe that Draco would forsake everything to play bloody hero. Surely, she knew he couldn't do that.

Blaise sighed, long and drawn out and full of some emotion Draco couldn't place. "Ya, mate, that's what I thought too."

Draco's head snapped up, and he felt his eyes widen as he finally placed that emotion in Blaise's voice. It was pain – pain that was worn down, smoothed out, buffered by the passage of time but still so, so potent. It was the type of pain that buried itself deep into your heart so that it became a permanent part of who you were. And it only took Draco another moment to figure out what had caused Blaise Zabini so much pain.

"Luna."

To his credit, Blaise didn't even flinch at her name, though the mask he wore could rival Draco's. He looked frozen, a statue that could never possibly feel something as human as emotion. "Luna," he repeated, his mouth cradling her name in intimate familiarity.

"She asked you to choose." Draco couldn't believe it. Not because he didn't believe that Luna Lovegood would ask that – of course she would – but because he couldn't believe it had ever gotten that serious. Even when he had realized that something had happened between his best friend and the Ravenclaw, he had never really thought it had been serious, but looking at Blaise now, he knew. It had been very, very real.

Blaise gave a jerky nod. "She did, and you know what I said."

"You would never choose sides," Draco said automatically, knowing it to be absolutely true. For as long as he had known Blaise, he had never chosen sides, not in anything. During second year, Draco and Pansy had gotten in a huge, breaking fight that fractured their group of friends, and everyone had ended up choosing sides. Everyone except for Blaise. Even then, his best friend had known that the only way to ensure you wouldn't be hurt was to walk the line between both options. On that line, you were safe.

"No," Blaise confirmed, "and I thought she knew that, but she asked anyway. I know why she had to, and it's the same reason Ginny will ask eventually. Girls like that, they can't be with someone who isn't good, Draco. It doesn't matter if you aren't evil. Doing nothing is almost worse to them."

Draco could see the evidence in front of him, the confirmation that what Blaise was saying was true. Blaise would never open up about this, would never tell him anything about it, unless he thought he had to. Clearly, Blaise believed that Ginny would do as Luna had done, and he was trying to help Draco. If Draco were smart, he would listen.

But Draco wasn't smart these days. He was just tired. Tired of doing nothing. Tired of watching this war play out and wreck his life. Tired of watching people he cared for get hurt.

"I can't just walk away," Draco looked up at Blaise with beseeching eyes, willing his friend to understand. He didn't want to cause problems between them. Blaise was the only real friend he had left, and he trusted his advice, but he couldn't do this. He couldn't just walk away from Ginny, not when she still wanted him.

"I know. I'm just warning you Draco," Blaise shoved away from the bedpost, walking toward the doors with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Walk away before it gets to that point. Save yourself the pain."

Draco could only watch his best friend trudge toward the door, thinking that this was the most open he had ever seen Blaise. He had known all along that Blaise chose to wear his outer personality like a shield, keeping everything within, but he had never known it ran so deep. Watching Blaise now was like watching a stranger, for surely Blaise Zabini could never be so broken.

"She wants you to meet her in the library," Blaise added, pausing at the door.

"Okay," Draco forced himself to say.

Blaise nodded and then he left.

Somehow, Draco felt like as Blaise left, everything around him shifted ever so slightly as though the entire world had been thrown just the smallest bit off-balance.

Unsurprisingly, Draco found himself in the library, though markedly later than he should have shown up. He had had some difficulty leaving his room after Blaise had confessed to him. It was a small amount of information, what Blaise had admitted, but it had been enough to leave Draco baffled. He and Blaise didn't talk about these type of things. Draco never asked about his mom or his latest stepfather and Blaise steered clear of the topic of Draco's father, and Merlin, they had never had to talk about girls before. Neither of them were exactly lacking in that department, and the subject had never needed to come up. From birth, they had known they would each marry some pureblooded girl, what did every girl in between matter?

So the fact that Blaise had willingly admitted to straying from his fate, with Luna Lovegood of all people, left Draco feeling punch-drunk. It had been so unexpected that Draco had found himself thinking about the warning after all. Obviously, he and Ginny were nowhere near as committed as Blaise and Luna had apparently been, but he still had to consider Blaise's warning. It wasn't that he was worried about ending up with a broken heart though, like Blaise had, because he wasn't in love with Ginny Weasley. Merlin knew that he respected and cared for Ginny, but he wasn't in love with her.

No, but that didn't mean he couldn't be hurt by this. Putting aside the physical pain like death and torture, he could be emotionally damaged by her. It was a new concept, as Draco rarely let people close enough to inflict damage to him like that, but he knew it was true. Ginny Weasley had wormed her way into his life and now into his mind, and he knew that if she stopped respecting him, he would feel it. It would hurt him. He didn't want her to go back to looking at him with disdain, or worse pity. He wanted her to look at him with surprise, with respect, with admiration, as she had been doing lately.

Draco wasn't sure he could handle losing someone close to him, someone who mattered to him, not when there were so few people like that. He could count them on one hand: his mother, Blaise, and possibly Snape. Before his father and Voldemort had been on that list, but the last year had finally erased any desire to impress them. But now Ginny Weasley was one of those rare people whom Draco wanted to earn their respect and love and admiration. He wanted his mother to have a son she could be proud of, and he wanted to be a worthy friend to Blaise, but he wasn't sure what he wanted from Ginny, what he was hoping to become to her.

He only knew that he hated the idea of her hatred, and that was a scary thing indeed, because it gave her the rare power to hurt him emotionally. Draco didn't even often think of his emotions, but he knew that Ginny had power over them. It had become a simple fact of his life in these past weeks, and he had no ability to fight it.

So the question plagued him: could he stand it if she tossed him away?

The short answer was no. The long answer was still no, but a small, tiny voice in Draco's head (one that sounded suspiciously like Snape) whispered that maybe it would be worth it. After all, when was the last time Draco did anything without worrying about the future consequences? The answer was quite possibly never. Draco had always been aware of consequences, but now, for the first time, he wanted to disregard them.

That was another dangerous thing, but like that time in fourth year when he had gone to pet a dragon, Draco found himself not caring. He had wanted to pet that dragon knowing he would probably get burned, and now he found himself drawn to a different fire. The fire of Ginny Weasley's hair and heart, and he wasn't going to fight it. Not yet.

And that had finally driven him to the library, almost missing Ginny's little meeting completely. He arrived just as Ginny was asking her two friends, Longbottom and Lovegood of course, if they had anything to add. Unsure why, Draco had found himself hovering just out of her eyesight, behind the nearest bookcase. He watched Ginny as she spoke to her two best friends, and a thrill ran through him as he realized that she was distracted. She kept looking around, a furrow forming between her eyebrows, and Draco knew that she was looking for him. Not only that, but she was clearly disappointed every time she did not see him.

Perhaps it was selfish and a bit cruel to leave her disappointed, but Draco was too busy reveling in the feeling to care. He wasn't sure when he had turned into such an insecure creature, but he found that he needed this reassurance that Ginny actually wanted him around. He needed to see that she cared whether or not he showed up. Her disappointment soothed that worrying voice in the back of his mind, calming the ever encroaching storm of fear raging inside of him.

Ginny's concern was an addictive drug Draco never wanted to quit.

Just then, she dismissed her two friends, shoulders slumping as they both turned their gazes to their things. She clearly hadn't wanted them to see her disappointment, but it was obvious now in the set of her shoulders. Draco's eyes were glued to her, even as he sunk further into the shadows to avoid discovery by the departing Longbottom. Lovegood – who struck Draco's curiosity now – remained, walking around the table to pat Ginny's shoulder in sympathy. She said something to Ginny that made her force a smile, and then she too was gone, and Ginny slumped again.

Still, Draco watched. Now that no one was around to see, Ginny leaned heavily against the table, folding her arms over her stomach and squeezing as though she were cold. Draco knew that chill, the numbness of disappointment in someone else. Ginny was upset that he hadn't come, but as he watched her face form lines, he realized it went deeper than that. She was disappointed in herself too, and it didn't take much for Draco to realize that she was disappointed in herself for believing in him.

He was out from behind the bookshelf without another thought.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Draco fixed a smirk to his face and tilted his head ever so slightly. "You look disappointed, Weasley."

Her head snapped up, and before she could control it, a smile sprang to her face. Draco could hardly bask in its glow though before she was marching over to him. Her irritation would have been obviously by the pucker of her lips and the squinting of her eyes, but she made it abundantly clear with a short, sharp smack to Draco's arm.

"Ow," he said, more out of surprise than pain, and he knew a smile was tugging at his lips. He was amused by her lack of fear, her complete ease with him. How many times had he seen her smack her brother or Potter like this? It was an odd feeling, being part of the intimate gesture now. It only increased this new reckless, carefree bubble Draco found himself wrapped in. He felt a bit punch-drunk.

"Are you amused by this?" she demanded, catching the smile.

"You're adorable when you're angry," Draco couldn't help but answer, knowing it would surprise her, "Like a pygmy puff."

Her mouth fell open, eyes going round in surprise. Draco had never teased her like that before, let alone called her adorable, and he laughed out loud at her reaction. She smacked him again, and then flushed which of course only made Draco laugh louder. Jamming her hands against her sides by crossing her arms, Ginny glared at him, her face slightly red.

"I'm glad you think my anger is so funny," she snapped, piercing him with a withering look that could put his mother to shame.

Draco held up his hands in a peacemaking gesture, swallowing his inappropriate laughter. He certainly hadn't intended on flustering her, but Merlin, he enjoyed it. It had been a long time indeed since he had teased a girl this way, flirting with her.

"Did you come just to irritate me?" Ginny sighed, relaxing her stance slightly.

Her slightly downcast tone sobered Draco up, and he felt himself straighten automatically. "No," he shook his head, his hair whisking over his forehead. He pushed it back absently, noticing that Ginny's fingers were twitching as she bit her lip. "Blaise told me that you wanted to meet here."

"I wasn't sure he'd deliver that message."

Now, that made Draco almost smile again, surely a new record for how many times he had smiled in one hour, let alone five minutes. But Ginny's presence was doing something odd to him, bringing back an old version of himself that only his closest friends had ever seen, years ago. "Yes, how'd you manage that?"

Her lips quirked up. "I threatened to find another way, and I may have suggested that it would be noticeably riskier."

Draco chuckled, imagining Blaise's incredulous expression at such a threat. "That must have made him happy."

Ginny shook her head, slightly smiling still though now she looked curious. "He takes your safety very seriously, doesn't he?"

As an answer, Draco shrugged. He hadn't come to talk about Blaise, and besides, that was a long and complicated story that he had never told anyone.

Unsurprisingly, Ginny's warm brown eyes narrowed, and he knew that she wouldn't just let it go. One day, she would ask again, but for now she switched topics. "Did Blaise also tell you that I wanted you here for the meeting?"

Her tone had gone back to irritated, which only amused Draco all over again. The fact that Ginny was never afraid of him was certainly new, and he couldn't help but admire it. It wasn't like he was vastly intimidating, but he was usually feared, if not for his past, for his usual expression. He suspected his familiar scowl was hardly on his face around Ginny though. To further incite her, Draco leaned against the table, adopting a ridiculously relaxed pose. Her eyes narrowed further.

"He did," he shrugged again, like it didn't matter. "However, I'm not one of your little followers in the DA. What makes you think I want to be in on these meetings of yours?"

"My followers are not little," she muttered under her breath, glaring at him. "I was hoping to get you to meet Neville and Luna, since they're both still wary about you."

"Let them be."

Ginny rolled her eyes, moving so that she faced him squarely. Her arms were still folded across her chest, and Draco wondered if she knew what that did to her figure. He wasn't complaining though, aware of the half a meter or so that separated them now. "You don't need to maintain this ridiculous, scary image you have going on you know. We've all known you our entire lives, Draco. They aren't afraid of you."

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Longbottom tends to avoid me."

"You set his pants on fire once."

"Harmless prank."

"It was real fire."

"He didn't get burned."

An exasperated breath of air blew past Ginny's lips, and she shot him an annoyed look. "Regardless, he isn't afraid of you. I just want them to trust you."

"Why?"

She blinked in surprise. "Because I trust you."

That familiar thrum raced through Draco's heart at her words. He wondered if he would ever get used to the idea that Ginny Weasley trusted him so willingly. Probably not. "Isn't that enough for them?"

"No," she said it unapologetically.

Draco huffed. "I thought I made it clear, Weasley, that I'm not joining your rebellion. I'm no member of the DA."

"You wouldn't be. I'm not an idiot; I'd never suggest that. I just need you to meet with them, once, to reassure them that you aren't going to run off to the Carrows or Snape."

"They really think I'd do that after what happened two days ago?"

The flush that crept up Ginny's cheeks caused a twinge low in Draco's abdomen that he tried valiantly to ignore, intrigued as he was by her reaction. She turned her head away, feeling his interested gaze, as though she was unwilling to meet his eyes. He knew immediately what that meant.

"You didn't tell them."

Draco wasn't sure why he was so surprised by that news, but he was. When she didn't deny it, he sat back slightly, studying her again. He supposed it should probably bother him that she hadn't told her two closest friends about his good deed, and what had followed perhaps, but it didn't. Draco didn't mind being Ginny's secret because that meant that she cared. He knew that it was a twisted way of thinking, and that, to most people, secrecy would be a sign of embarrassment, but their situation was different. Ginny had every right to want to keep him a secret, especially from her friends. Draco would hardly want to tell his friends about her.

"Why didn't you tell them?"

That flush persisted, which told him his words had embarrassed her further. Draco had noticed that while Ginny blushed fairly easily, the color faded just as quickly as it appeared. "I don't know."

The admittance was confirmation enough for Draco, who felt an odd heat spreading through his chest. He hadn't told Blaise what had happened either, wanting to keep the memory to himself. He almost didn't want to hope that her reasons were the same, but he couldn't help it.

He hadn't wanted to talk about what had happened two days ago, unwilling to broach the subject of her possession again. But now he was remembering what had followed, her body flush against his, their breathing ragged. That was the real reason he was here, wasn't it? Because despite everything, Draco craved the feeling of Ginny Weasley against him.

When Ginny finally looked back at him, Draco wasn't sure what his face looked like, but whatever his expression was, it caused her expression to soften. Her eyes snagged on his, and that heat in his chest spread until Draco felt almost uncomfortably hot. He had thought of Ginny as fire earlier, and the comparison couldn't have been more accurate. Whenever he was around her, he felt warm, like the warmth in her eyes went directly into his bloodstream. Thinking of a girl as a disease wasn't very romantic, but that was exactly how he thought of Ginny. She was an infection, racing through his body and touching every part of him until he knew that everything he did and thought and felt was affected by her.

"Draco," she said in a low, throaty voice that made him want to take a step closer, "what happened the other night?"

"What do you mean?" his question was blasé, but his voice was anything but. Her throaty voice was echoed in his gravelly tone, and Draco knew his feelings were obvious to her.

She swallowed. "Between us. What happened between us?"

Looking up at him between her eyelashes, eyes dark with warring emotions, Draco could only think that Ginny Weasley had him at a disadvantage. He could not remember a time when he had cared more for someone than they cared for him, with the exception of his father. It was a weakness to care for people, how many times had that lesson been drilled into Draco not only by Lucius but by his mother and his aunt and even the Dark Lord? Snape had just warned him about it, and Draco could see the damage it had done to the Potions master, caring for a girl so much when she cared for him so little. It was a sickness, and he was lining up to suffer.

He shouldn't.

But he would.

He reached, and like he had cast a spell, Ginny Weasley was suddenly in his arms, a place she had only been once before but a position that felt achingly right. Her brown eyes were wide, allowing him to see her dilating pupils, and he watched with a faint twinge of amusement as she kept glancing at his lips. It was a consolation that she at least wanted him physically, and Draco grabbed onto it with everything he had.

Draco certainly hadn't intended on kissing Ginny again when he had come, but if he had thought about it, he would have imagined kissing her softly. After the truth she had confided the last time, Draco had thought he would treat her as though she were glass, fragile and breakable. But this kiss was anything but soft.

His lips bruised against her, pulling aching wanting tasting devouring, and she met him with equal force. The instant her lips began to move against his, Draco knew he had been a fool to even entertain the idea that Ginny was fragile. Ginny was strong, stronger than him. He had thought for years that he was helping her, but now he wondered if he hadn't been wrong about that as well. Had Ginny Weasley been helping him all these years? As he kissed her, it felt like it. He felt weak when he was touching her, like she took everything out of him, but he was so very willing to give it.

His hands tangled in her hair, tilting her head to change the angle, to deepen the kiss because still, all he wanted was more. A small surprised noise left her mouth and Draco swallowed it hungrily, pressing her closer until they were leaning back against the table fully, Ginny very nearly in his lap. Their legs were a tangled mess of limbs, and Ginny had placed her palms flat against the table at some point to balance herself, and Draco was losing himself in her mouth.

Kissing Ginny Weasley was very dangerous, for it made him forget who he was.

With a colossal effort, Draco pulled away. The reaction was instantaneous; Ginny ripped away from him, her chest heaving with every breath she dragged in as she gaped at him. Draco looked up at her darkly from beneath his fringe, unable to completely hide how much he wanted her. Ginny met his fire with her own, even as she backed up another step.

"We need to stop doing that," she said in a steady voice that was betrayed by her bruised lips and mussed hair.

A flare of anger instantly lit in Draco's stomach. "You don't seem to mind."

She flinched, ever so slightly. "I don't."

Draco closed his eyes and sighed. He hadn't really expected her to admit that, that she wanted him to kiss her. When she had put distance between them immediately, he had thought she was about to run away from him yet again. Draco was used to Ginny Weasley pulling away from him; he didn't know what to do with a Ginny Weasley who freely admitted that she was physically attracted to him. Everything was a mess of emotions and history and risk, and Draco couldn't pull himself away from it.

"What do you want from me, Weasley?"

"For you to stop calling me Weasley, for starters," she grumbled, low in her throat.

Draco's eyes slid open, his mouth betraying his faint amusement. He didn't want to be amused right now, not when it felt like the world was seconds away from shifting yet again, but he couldn't help it. Ginny managed to make him smile and laugh even when he was pissed. "Why?"

Her nose crinkled and she folded her arms. "It reminds me of Ron."

She had clearly meant it as a joke, trying to keep this lightness between them, but she had miscalculated. The mention of her brother instantly snapped Draco back to reality, and he felt his face slip into the familiar mask. He was an idiot to forget about the truth when he was with Ginny, but he did it, every single time. When he was with Ginny, it was like someone had cast a shield charm that not even words could not penetrate, separating them from the rest of the world. Draco craved that feeling, but he shouldn't. Only pathetic people buried their heads and refused to face reality.

The reality was that he and Ginny stood on very separate sides of this war, and though Draco only pretended to support Voldemort these days, he wasn't ready to sever that protective act. He wanted to walk the neutral line with Blaise, to escape ramifications of his childhood without betraying everything he had been raised to believe. When the war was over, Draco wanted to run and never look back, and he could not do that with memories of Ginny Weasley plaguing him, with her influence tainting him.

She wanted to fight, to help good conquer evil, to kill Voldemort. Ginny wanted to live in a wizarding world free of the darkness that had stained it for her entire life, a darkness that Draco had been born into. He couldn't lie to himself and pretend that she would run away with him, that she would forget everything she believed in. She was bloody Harry Potter's girlfriend.

And that was what her brother's name had really recalled. As soon as Ginny had said Ron, the name Harry popped into Draco's mind, and a swift surge of jealousy had followed. It was jealously Draco couldn't afford to feel, and that only angered him further.

"Draco?" Ginny's voice echoed with worry as she noticed the abrupt change in him. "What?"

"Potter," he growled out the name with more savagery than he normally did. It was no secret that he wasn't fond of the boy wonder, but the concoction of toxic emotions that filled him now was dangerously unstable. And it was all because of Ginny Weasley.

Ginny Weasley, who paled noticeably at the mention of Harry and swayed unsteadily on her feet. Draco watched her with a detached look, even as his heart raced in his chest at the very emotional reaction. He had known all along what Potter and Ginny were, but somehow he had pushed it away. The truth was here before him though, in Ginny's guilty eyes.

Anger filled him, and it only had one outlet at the moment, so Draco took it. "That's right. Did you think I had forgotten about your hero boyfriend? Honestly, Weasley, if you wanted to cheat on him, couldn't you have picked someone else?"

She flinched, but Draco didn't feel any better for having hurt her with his careless words. She wasn't the real source of his anger; he was.

"He isn't my boyfriend."

Draco blinked in surprise, and then narrowed his eyes, "Don't lie."

But Ginny shook her head, her expression turning just the smallest bit bitter. "I'm not dating Harry. Not anymore."

Now that spiked Draco's curiosity. "Did Potter break up with you?"

She gave a jerky nod, and he knew that the pain was still fresh. Draco could hardly believe it; the chosen idiot had dumped his best friend's sister. He would have never believed it if it wasn't Ginny telling him. "He thought he was protecting me," she muttered darkly, shaking her head in exasperation. "Like if he dumped me, Voldemort wouldn't go after me."

"That's ridiculous," Draco couldn't help but input, because it was. He had always known that Potter's mind was a bit lacking, but he hadn't imagined the moron was this stupid. Voldemort was targeting everyone who opposed him, and if he did decide to favor those whom Harry cared for, he would take ex-girlfriends just as willingly as he would take girlfriends. Potter couldn't honestly think breaking up with Ginny would accomplish anything.

A wry smile twisted Ginny's lips. "I know, but I let him do it anyways. I didn't want to fight with him right before he left. So not only did I let him leave me, but I let him break up with me, too."

Draco's eyes narrowed as he studied Ginny, his emotions back under his control now, soothed by this puzzle Ginny had set before him. He had never much considered why Ginny was in love with Potter, but he could see now that her love was not infallible. Ginny was hiding hurt underneath that wry humor, but Draco couldn't figure out its source. She was certainly bitter about Potter dumping her, and she seemed to regret letting him go so easily, but Draco thought it was more than that. Something wasn't quite adding up.

"I'm not cheating," Ginny added as an afterthought.

"No, you're just wasting time until Potter returns," Draco tossed out, his own voice bitter. It was better than her cheating on Potter, but not by much. He wasn't overly fond of being a distraction, a plaything for Ginny.

"No," Ginny's eyes went wide. "Of course not."

Draco snorted. "Then what are you doing Ginny?"

"I don't know."

Draco wanted to groan in frustration; this was ridiculous. He hadn't come here to have some heart to heart with Ginny about the state of her love life. He had never wanted to ask about bloody Potter, and he certainly didn't want to hash out their own relationship. Draco had never been one of those guys who used labels like boyfriend or girlfriend or friends with benefits. They were just words, labels to stick onto relationships to form boundaries that both parties understood, and Draco didn't need that. He always made it abundantly clear what he wanted and didn't want from the girls he messed around with.

He just hadn't done so with Ginny.

His usual speech was perched on the tip of his tongue, a well-rehearsed number that was crafted to soothe the target, keep her from getting offended while he coaxed her into giving him what he wanted. He knew it worked, it worked well in fact, but Draco couldn't give that speech to Ginny. It wasn't the same.

Draco had left his room buoyed by the fact that Ginny wanted him around, and he had allowed himself to become distracted by her presence alone, but now he knew that this couldn't continue as it was. Blaise had told him to cut it off, and Draco had refused out of pure stubbornness. But maybe he should end it now. It was already so damned complicated.

"What do you want from me, Ginny? An honest answer this time," he asked quietly, piercing her with his grey eyes. He didn't often make such direct eye-contact, and he knew the effect it had on her when he did.

As expected, Ginny seemed thrown by his eyes, and she answered honestly, "I want you around."

"To play rebel with you and your group?"

She shrugged. "I wouldn't mind it if you decided to help us, but no, I don't expect it. You told me a while ago, Draco, that you wouldn't choose sides. I'm not stupid enough to try and make you."

He let his head fall back, glaring at the ceiling. That was the second time she had said that, and Draco was starting to believe her. She was making it terribly hard to cut things off with her, when she spoke like that. It made him believe she meant it.

"I want," Ginny hesitated, and he felt her take a small step back towards him. "I guess I just want you."

Draco tilted his head back down, slowly, surprised that she would admit that out loud. He was not the least bit surprised by his reaction though. That now familiar heat was back in his veins.

Ginny was slightly flushed, but she continued on, without flinching. "It feels better when you're around, like I'm not alone."

"You're never alone."

"It isn't the same," she argued, as though she had expected him to say that. "Luna and Neville are great, but I can't tell them everything. I can't tell them about Tom, or my fears, or anything. They count on me, and I don't mind that, but I want someone who doesn't need me to be strong all the time."

Draco wanted to say that he did need her to be strong all the time, but he wasn't sure suddenly if they defined strong the same way. It was strong to him, the way Ginny could talk about what she feared and even what had happened to her, but the way she had phrased it, Ginny seemed to think those were weaknesses. She was distracting him all over again, and Draco had to force himself back onto the real topic here. "So what, you want a friend to confide in?"

"That's what I thought I wanted, but not anymore. I... every time we're around each other lately, we kiss. Why do we do that Draco?"

She was looking at him with such an open expression, that Draco couldn't help giving her an off-handed response. "Probably because we're teenagers and neither of us has been laid in a while."

He had almost expected anger, but Ginny surprised him by laughing. Her eyes gleamed when she did that, and Draco found himself smirking back at her. She shook her head in amusement. "I don't think that's it, but I won't make you analyze it. It doesn't really matter anyways."

"No?"

"No," she affirmed. "It doesn't change anything. I still want you around."

"I don't do girlfriends," the words were out of his mouth before he could drag them back, and he nearly flinched at the out-of-place comment. She hadn't even mentioned anything close to dating, so why was he throwing around that damn word?

But Ginny didn't seem to find it odd. She just tilted her head to the side. "I know it'd be better to figure out exactly what this is, slap a label on it and define boundaries, but I don't want to do that."

Now Draco was really surprised. It was rare that anyone, especially a girl, would be okay with that. "Why not?"

Ginny shrugged, moving around him to pick up her things. Draco watched her gather her books, eyes glued to her pale hands. She had long fingers, good for playing the piano, though he doubted that she did. "My entire life, I've tried to be exactly what I should be, do exactly what I should do. I've always followed the rules, you know. Maybe, I just want to let it all go for a little while."

Draco nearly snorted. "So what? You're a good girl who wants a bad boy?"

She smacked him playfully again, thrilling him, as a small smile played at her lips. "Don't be an idiot. Of course not. I just mean that I try to control everything, and I have ever since the Chamber incident. But now, I think I just want to live, you know?" she shook her head bemusedly at herself. "Sorry, I'm sure that doesn't make sense."

He was about to tell her that it didn't, that she was absolutely mad, but he thought about it, and he found that he understood. Draco had always controlled every aspect of his life that he could, to battle those things that he could not dictate. Ginny Weasley had been his greatest rebellion, but she had been under his control too, until now. Maybe it would be good to let go this one time. Maybe she was right, and they should just let it happen as it would.

It sounded terribly dramatic, but Draco could feel the idea calling to him, appealing to the parts of himself he rarely let out. Still, he couldn't help but say, "We don't make sense. A Malfoy and a Weasley, we literally could not be more opposite."

Ginny gathered her books to her chest and smiled at him, one of her full smiles that produced lines around her mouth. Draco wanted to trace them. "The world doesn't make sense, Draco. We're at war, and we could die within the year. My entire family and all my friends could be wiped out, and so could yours. Do you really think it matters whether or not we make sense?"

Draco studied her, this girl of fire and humor that he had never thought he would befriend. He had watched her for years, and he had certainly grown to admire her from a distance, but she was so much more than he had ever thought. Ginny Weasley was real, a person, a human, and she was willing to be human with him. It sounded like nonsense, but Draco found himself relaxing in her presence, losing chinks of his icy armor under her warm smile. The temptation to give in, to keep kissing her, to let himself go was too strong to avoid. She was offering himself everything he had told himself he didn't want.

But he did want it. He wanted her. He wanted this. He wanted to be free.

Without another thought, Draco grabbed her wrist again and yanked her close. Her books dropped, hitting his toes, and she yelped in surprise, but he didn't care. Draco caught Ginny in a kiss, wrapping his arms around her until they were touching at every point along their bodies. He felt it when Ginny relaxed into the kiss with a small laugh, and he couldn't help but grin against her mouth in response.

It was foolish, and it would probably end badly, and Blaise was most likely right, but he didn't care. For once, Draco was just going to let himself go.