A/N: Okay, I'm kinda in love with the Warden cause I just saw Superjail! for the first time last night and it was like love at first sight. The thing is...I wrote this because my family has been having a violent screaming match all day and I've kinda been fantasizing about the Warden taking me away from them. Also, don't take this seriously, it was kinda meant to be stupid, and if he's OOC, I've only seen one episode, dude. If you want this to continue, it can...

It was 1:00 AM. I was drowsily watching Adult Swim on my couch. Then a show I hadn't seen before came on.
"Superjail?"
I watched more. It was hilarious. Then I saw him...and I fell in love.
Wait...it's just a cartoon character. This Warden guy is just an animation...but the things I'd do to him...wait, no! NO NO NO! It's just a cartoon.
I fell asleep, still thinking about him against my better judgment.
The next morning, I was fast asleep, dreaming about evil books and planting pixelated trees, when I woke up to a singsongy "Wakey-wakey..."
That voice sounded familiar. I opened my eyes.
"KURT MOTHERFUCKING VONNEGUT!" I jumped and punched him in the face instinctively. The Warden?! In front of my very eyes?! But he was...but...what?
"Dammit!" He covered his black eye. "That strength...it reminds me of HER...but you could be a more than suitable replacement." Hearts filled his eyes.
"Okay, I'm not seeing this. I will close my eyes and he will be gone. Three, two, one..." I opened my eyes and he was closer to me.
"Still here, sweet!"
"SHIT!" I ran away.
He turned out to be so flexible that he could stretch himself out in front of me. "Don't run, dear. How do you feel about this?"
"I feel...like..." My Rent Head started going off. "IT'S LIKE I'M BEING TIED TO THE HOOD OF A YELLOW RENTAL TRUCK BEING PACKED IN WITH FERTILIZER AND FUEL OIL PUSHED OVER A CLIFF BY A SUICIDAL MICKEY MOUSE!"
"What a vivid description..."
"Now that I got that out of my system...sorry. I mean I actually think you're cute."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you can stay here, I guess."
"We're gonna get along just fine."