After saying her goodbyes to Hannah, Marnie started the small U-Haul and drove the short distance to Shoshanna's apartment.

After about twenty minutes of listening to Shosh's rambling, Marnie deiced that she was actually kind of relieved. If anything, the noise kept her from herself. Marnie knew that she had a tendency to overthink things, even trivial matters such as the appropriate amount of time to brush each tooth. Is it 10 seconds each? No that seems too long. But what if I get gingivitis? Naturally, this whole thing with Jessa was driving her insane.

Marnie comes back to reality, and luckily Shoshanna didn't notice. She's still talking a thousand words a minute. Marnie finally speaks up, folding her clothes neatly on her lap. "Um where's Jessa? Are you sure it's okay that I'm sleeping in her bed?"

"Um, yeah. And I don't know. I haven't heard from her in like a full 24/7. And I would totally be worried, except she's been texting all the time and all her junk is still here"

Her mouth feels a little dry. "Well thank you for letting me stay here. I'm going to start looking for a new place tomorrow."

"Oh my God, totally don't. Don't, really don't. Like, stay as long as you want. Like, stay forever."

She likes Shoshanna. She's one of the good ones. Sure, she's high maintenance at first, but she is surprisingly simple to please. Lord knows that Marnie does not have a good track record with making people happy – Charlie, Hannah, and now Jessa apparently – so this little break could be good for her. Just then she hears Shoshanna's phone chime, followed by hers. They both look at their phones. Jessa. Her mouth is like a desert. She tries to clear her throat but nothing happens. She's scared to open it, but luckily Shoshanna beats her to the punch.

"It says, 'Please come to the most important party of my life. 7pm sharp, dress real nice and come.' Oh my God, like a secret party? I've never been to one of these. I wonder if there's a theme. Well, I don't know. She said 'dress nice,' but what does that mean? Okay, you're going to help me pick a dress. I'm thinking white. What about you?"

Marnie is still looking intently at her phone, not even registering that Shoshanna addressed her. She looks up completely startled. "I'm sorry, what?"

"This. I like this dress, but is it too white?"

"Uh, no. I mean, you can't really go wrong with white at a spring party." Actually, it turns out you can….

They arrive early. Too early. They don't know anyone inside, so they decide to hang out front. Marnie's mind is racing. "What in God's name is this party for?" Her distress comes out in her tone.

"I don't know, but she told me if I didn't come she'd gut me like a fish."

Typical Jessa. Out of the corner of her eye she spots Charlie and Ray walking towards the entrance. "Fuck.

"Oh my God. It's your one true love. Where's his new girlfriend?" Shoshanna, bless her heart, is so naïve.

"I'm fine; I'm in a really good place in my life." Marnie tries to calm her own nerves, hoping maybe by saying it out loud that she'll actually believe it.

"Totally, everything you own is in trash bags in my kitchen." Sarcasm? I didn't know she could comprehend anything other than complete sincerity. As Ray passed, Shoshanna's no-filter rambling continued. "He looked at me weird. Like, today is totally weird."

Normally it seemed like Shoshanna talked for the sake of talking, but this time, she actually had a point. Marnie could feel it, too. This night better go by fast.

Marnie has been trying to figure out this freaking party. First the hostess asks "Which party are you with?" Uh, this party, bitch. She just responded "Jessa…" almost as a question, as if she wasn't quite sure if Jessa really invited her or just forgot to take her name off the mass message. But, she was here, and Jessa would just have to deal with that. Speaking of whom, where was she? Marnie hadn't spotted her yet, and she's been awkwardly standing in front of the stage for at least 20 minutes. All the while, she's been inspecting the decorations, noticing all the flowers. So many flowers. Aren't flowers kind of tacky? I mean, weddings and funerals, fine, but parties? Just then a chubby guy comes out on stage, and starts going on about something. She had so many thoughts racing through her head she didn't have time to listen to him.

"The greatest mystery in this life is love." Love, sexuality, possible lesbianism. It's all a mystery she thought to herself. She had a sudden flash-back of that night, and she began aching to talk to Jessa. Actually, she didn't even need to talk to her. Just see her. As if her reminiscing was materializing in front of her, Thomas-John steps on the stage.

Holy shit. Marnie turns to Shoshanna. "Oh my God, that's Thomas-John. That's the guy who tried to have a three-way with me and Jessa."

"As some of you might have already guessed… We're getting married!" HOLY SHIT.

As the crowd begins to cheer and applause, Marnie can't help the look of sheer disbelief on her face. What is happening right now?

And then, the star of the show walks through the crowd and enters stage left. This cannot be happening.

"Jessa, the first night we met, truthfully, I thought we were going to have a threesome with you friend, Marnie. What's up Marnie?" Thomas-John calls out from the stage and her disbelief turns into discomfort and then suddenly to a face she could only describe as "what the fuck!?"

"I appreciate your adventurous spirit, your desire to learn, and everything you, you don't know about. I love you."

And with that Marnie pretty much lost it. Seriously, what the fuck? They met like two weeks ago, thanks to her. But seriously, if Marnie had not accepted the drinks from him the first night, they would never had met. Plus, she was the one who tried to initiate the threesome… well, kind of. It started as that but ended up so much more.

Marnie just could not take this "wedding" seriously and she deliberately rolled her entire head, not even trying to hide it. When the music came on her general fuck-it attitude came out.

Jessa peers over at Hannah lying on the floor. "You are so fucking gross lying there on the bathroom floor, and I love you for it." She hopes that Hannah doesn't comment about visibly peeing in front of her.

Hannah lets the some-what term of endearment roll off without a second thought. "I can't believe you're married. I mean, I don't know what to expect from you, but I didn't expect that."

"You don't think I'm crazy do you?" Jessa's tone was slightly more pleading than she had been hoping to allow, but she is actually worried that this might have been a fit of insanity that led to this marriage.

"I don't think you're crazy. I mean, I just think it's fast."

Jessa was only half-listening to her when she beings to explain herself. "Maybe I am crazy… Maybe I am, but fuck, Hannah. I have never been this happy. I feel like I'm sleeping in a rosebud. I'm so gone on this man."

"But like how can you be so sure about something like that?" Hannah is searching Jessa for any kind of indication of emotion. "Like, do you feel like a real adult now?"

Jessa pauses for a moment to thoroughly think through that question. "Hmm, yeah! Kind of" Not quite as profound as she was hoping to sound, but she's not one to overthink things.

Back at the bar, sporting two glasses of champagne, Marnie slurs out an apology to Elijah. Maybe it wasn't an apology. Honestly, she had so much alcohol in her system she was struggling to identify what language she was speaking, let alone determine semantics.

Later, at the outdoor dance floor, she's spotted downing her sixth of wine. Charlie comes up and investigates. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah, actually, not too much. Don't worry." She's trying to determine what his impetus was for coming over to her. She decides to dig a little deeper. She probably won't have the clearest recollection of this tomorrow, so why not get nosey. "Where's Audrey?"

He goes on about her blog. The somewhat casual banter was easier than she had previous expected.

Charlie changes the mood immediately, though when he suggests straight-faced, "We should just like go fuck in the bathroom…"

Marnie's taken aback by this, but decides to play along. "Yeah, totally… I'll just sit on the sink and you can fuck me really quickly."

"Hard, and I'll just cover your mouth, so you don't make any noise."

"Yeah, and then I'll like turn on the faucet by accident with my ass."

"And then we'll come out here and we'll eat some dessert, and then we'll just like wink at each other from across the room."

"We should just forget about all of our troubles and go fuck somewhere." She's kind of reminiscing about how easy life was before she and Charlie broke up. Not that she necessarily misses being with him; she just liked its simplicity.

"Okay, great." He reaches out to pull Marnie to the bathroom to act out their hypothetical scenario – well, at least she had been under the impression it was hypothetical.

"Wait, you're joking right?" And with that the alternate universe where everything was easy and simple shattered. Shoshanna was right. This night is totally weird.

She's taken out of her confused, champagne-induced trance when Thadd comes out to announce the cutting of the cake. "'Cakey time'?" She thinks out loud. "Is it just me or is he adorable?" Her glass count was definitely into the double digits, but that didn't stop her from downing the one in her hand. She had enough of her mental faculty left to get the sense that something bad was going to happen tonight, but she just didn't care enough to do anything about it.

Marnie was staring at the cake when Thadd came up and said, "Hey there, nice work." She looked down at her bouquet and it registered what he was talking about. You can do it, Marnie, just one more conversation and then you can go to sleep.

"I mean, she kinda threw it at me, but thank you."

"Yeah, I mean, a girl like you doesn't exactly need a bouquet. Why don't you pick on someone your own size? That was dumb" She couldn't help but laugh at his slightly self-deprecating humor. This is exactly what she needed: someone to make her laugh and make her feel wanted. If Jessa was going to throw an extravagant party to show Marnie that she didn't need her, then should just return the favor.

"Is this party really over? I was just getting started… You'd be surprised." And then she takes a handful of cake. She spent the last two hours drinking her sorrows, so why not start eating them. Besides, he of all people wouldn't judge, proven when she dropped cake down her cleavage. Was this really turning him on?

"I'd like you to help."

"That looks awesome. I'd like to go there." He takes another bite of cake to drown his nerves. "…someday."

And that was all it took: a nice guy who actually wanted her. She didn't even hear his last few words as she went in to kiss him.

She couldn't determine what time it was when she woke up. It was still dark out, but it had that glimmer of promising light that makes early mornings so beautiful. She turned her body slightly, noticing that she was only wearing an oversized white t-shirt, but she couldn't move far because of… what was his name? … because of wedding guy's arm anchoring her to the bed. She heaved his body to the other side of the bed and he repositioned himself in a sleepy stupor. If she weren't so disgusted in herself, she would probably feel bad, but all she wanted to do was leave. And shower, definitely take a shower. She rummaged around the dark room looking for her dress and anything else that may have been removed in a drunken, cake-filled fury. Speaking of cake, her chest was sticky and crusted with icing. Oh, God. Why do I do this to myself?

She tip-toed through the studio apartment carrying her dress in her arm, while holding her shoes and purse T-Rex style between her thumb and two first fingers. She bent down to retrieve her underwear from under the fridge – I don't even want to know – and when she stood upright again, her head felt like 200 pounds. Note to self, 10+ glasses of wine and two servings of wedding cake make for a particularly horrible hangover. She slid her underwear on and checked her phone: three missed calls and like 40 texts from Shoshanna and Hannah. Today is going to be rough.