It's my birthday and I'll write porn if I want to. Thanks for reading, and rock on.

At first, Penny thought it was part of the dream she was in the middle of; the same dream she'd been having all summer. But by Sheldon's third set of knocks, Penny sprung up from a deep sleep and realized it was reality. Sheldon really was knocking on her door at 3:00 in the morning. And apparently he wasn't going to go away any time soon.

Sighing, she forced herself out of bed, waited for the third set of "Penny! Penny! Penny!" to end, and then flung open the door. There he was, in his Saturday night pajamas, looking like a grown man and a little boy all the same time.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sheldon? I am serious, you better have a decent excuse this time."

Ever since Leonard left for the summer, Sheldon knocked on Penny's door way more than usual. Sometimes she liked the interruption and enjoyed spending time with him. Other times, like at 3:00 in the morning, she hated everything he stood for and chose to be.

"I am sorry to intrude, Penny, but I do happen to have an excellent excuse. The air conditioner in my apartment has suddenly ceased to work. I called the building management but surprisingly they weren't very amendable to coming out right now to fix it."

Penny sighed, then groaned. It had been an incredibly hot summer, and in their building it was basically impossible to sleep without the air conditioner on. Still, she needed more information.

"Well, why couldn't you just take your pajamas off? That would probably help a lot."

Sheldon gave her one of his patented looks of derision that she so did enjoy. "Sleep without my jammies? Do you even know me at all, Penny?"

This was not worth it. At all.

"Fine, Sheldon, you can sleep here tonight. But the air conditioner is in my room and I am NOT sleeping on the couch. So you're just going to have to share my bed. Don't worry, I don't have cooties or anything."

Penny wanted to laugh at the look of utter panic on Sheldon's face. "Honey, I'm not going to bite, okay? I'll sleep on my side, you'll sleep on your side. No funny business."

"I suppose that will be all right. You don't kick or snore or anything, do you?"

"No," Penny lied. She was known to snore as loud as a freight train on some occasions, but he didn't need to know that.

"Fine. I guess I can't kick you out of your own bed. Let's get to it, then."

A few minutes later, Penny found herself in bed with Sheldon. It was weird, to say the least. But it was also...kind of nice. Ever since breaking up with Leonard a few weeks ago while he was at sea (he wanted to "take a break," which she was absolutely positive meant "sleep with other women on the ship and then resume our relationship as normal when I get home," which was...no. She was not putting up with that, ever.), her bed had been rather empty and lonely. She was coming to terms with the fact that sooner or later, she'd have to dig through her closet to find her "going-out" clothes and see if she could talk some of her last remaining single girlfriends into some old-fashioned bars and clubbing. Oh, she was getting too old for this shit.

Sheldon took a long time to get settled into bed, but eventually he stopped moving around and seemed actually content with his positioning. Penny wanted to pierce the strange silence; she kind of desperately wanted to ask if he ever missed Amy at all. The two of them had broken up as well, just a week ago. It wasn't based on lack of intimacy or anything of that nature. Sheldon and Amy had simply decided their relationship had come to a natural conclusion, and they parted on civil terms. Penny thought it was the most uncomplicated break-up in history, but she knew Sheldon must be sad somewhere in that big ol' heart of his.

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Sheldon said, "Penny?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"You took a long time to answer the door tonight. I assume you were in REM sleep. I apologize for interrupting it."

"That's okay. I was having a dream. About you, actually." Penny chuckled. If he only knew what the dream had been about it, and how many times she'd had it over the last few weeks...

"Really? Recently I have become fascinating with hearing about dreams. Most of my life I've found them inconceivably boring, but ever since I made a critical realization for one of my projects in a dream this summer, I've become open to the thought that there might be more to one's dreams than I might have given credit to previously. Would you like to tell me what you were dreaming about so that I might interpret it?"

"Oh, hmm...I don't think you want to know the answer to that question." Penny didn't want to creep him right out of bed.

"Of course I do. That's why I asked."

Penny exhaled. Well, he did ask. "Okay, if you must know, it was...sexual. In nature."

"Oh." Sheldon was quiet for a moment. Penny wished she could see his face. "Have you had those kinds of dreams before?"

"Yes...I have had a few in the past couple of years but they've been increasing in the past few weeks."

"Fascinating. Perhaps it wouldn't be a stretch to say that these dreams are happening more often because of your break-up with Leonard?"

"That's probably as good a reason as any," Penny said. This was a weird conversation. And, well, it was turning her on, too. Damn her stupid raging libido.

"Okay. Thank you for sharing that information with me. Good night."

"Good night," Penny said, a little disappointed. Why, she didn't know. This was Sheldon in her bed, not most other men she'd ever met. As far as she knew, he didn't get turned on like other men would if they were in bed with her and just learned she had dirty dreams about them. And she liked that about Sheldon; she liked that he was the first man to come along and show her that he valued her as a person and not just a body. That's why his friendship was so important to her. She would never try to jeopardize it just because she was horny. Which she was. Oh, so horny.

In the middle of this thought process, Sheldon said, "Penny? Can I share something with you that I've never told anyone else before?"

"Of course you can, sweetie," she said, and wanted to hold his hand or rub his back or something else reassuring. But again, he was Sheldon, and she respected his boundaries.

"I've had similar dreams about you. They started soon after I met you and have occurred at least once a month since then." And then he was quiet again, leaving her hanging. How the hell was she supposed to respond to this information? Very carefully, she supposed.

"Oh? Well...that's interesting."

"Yes, I've always thought so. I've never had them towards anyone else in my life, and since I've never really pondered the act of intercourse before, I'm not sure where these dreams came from. They're not unpleasant, I have to say, but I always just chalked it up to the male biology. I have sexual organs, so of course I have sexual dreams."

"Of course," Penny whispered. "Well, have you ever been, you know, curious about that stuff? About doing it in real life, not just in your dreams."

Sheldon was quiet for a moment, and it was driving Penny absolutely fucking crazy. Where was this going? Why was he telling her this? Arghhh.

"Yes, I was-am-curious. But I have things in my life to worry about other than satisfying my primal urges. However, I thought long and hard about engaging Amy in these acts, which I knew she was very interested in participating in with me. However, as much as I did ultimately care for Amy, I was never attracted to her. Eventually I had to come to the conclusion that I was-am-attracted to you."

Now Penny was truly speechless. When she finally managed to find her voice, she said, "Sheldon, thank you, that means so much to me. And I'm attracted to you, too, just so you know. You're a handsome man."

"So my mother has told me," he said. Penny chuckled. They lay in silence for a minute or two; Penny could hear her clock ticking, the random car passing by on the street, the sound of her upstairs neighbor's toilet flushing. Apparently Sheldon wasn't going to add to the conversation, but Penny was too keyed up to try to sleep now. And she was a big ol' five, after all.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes, Penny?"

"Would you like to show me what happens in your dreams?"

Sheldon slowly turned over and soon they were facing each other, and she was looking into his eyes. She thought they would be confused and vulnerable, but they weren't. They were...fierce, somehow. Clear. Determined.

"Yes...I think I would like that."

Penny was absolutely positive she was still dreaming at this point, but just in case she wasn't, she said, "Okay, sweetie, I'll lead you through it if you need guidance. But show me where we start in your dream. We can stop at any time, and we don't have to do a single thing you're not comfortable with, okay?"

"I agree to these terms," Sheldon said, and she heard the nervousness in his voice, but again, he wasn't vulnerable. Penny didn't know the same things Sheldon knew about physics, but she knew when a man wanted her. And Sheldon wanted her.

Sheldon scooted closer to her. She found his arm and softly stroked it. This was happening. This was happening, right?

"Sometimes it starts in the middle, but most of the time, I start by...kissing you," Sheldon said. "Can I kiss you?"

"I would like that very much," Penny said. Sheldon came even closer and then, well, he was kissing her. Penny was very aware it was the first time for him, and it definitely wasn't perfect, but it was nice. His breath was nice and minty and his lips were very soft. It didn't last very long. Sheldon retreated before she did.

"I'm sorry, Penny, was that horrible? I'm afraid the mechanics of kissing has eluded me over the years."

Penny grabbed his hand and said, "Oh, Sheldon, it was fine. It takes practice to become a good kisser; you have to base it on you and your partner's preferences. Nobody's born a great kisser."

"Well...what is your preference?"

"In kissing?" Penny had never been asked that question before.

"Yes," he said shyly. "In kissing."

"Hmm, well, I like to have my lip bitten a little. Not a lot, but enough to feel it. And I like a bit of tongue."

Even in the dark, Penny could see Sheldon making a face. "Ha, it's okay, Sheldon. That's a little advanced. Let's just get back to it and I'll show you a few things."

"Okay...okay," he said, and then they were kissing again. Sheldon and Penny...were kissing. And eventually it got really good. She didn't want to stop kissing him. Oh, where had he been all these years?! Her sweet, sweet Sheldon.

They both came up for air eventually, and Sheldon exhaled. "Well, that was...alarmingly pleasant. It was never that good in my dreams."

Penny smiled. If he thought her kissing techniques were good...

"What next?" She asked, so ready for anything he wanted to do.

Instead of answering, she felt a warm hand on her stomach. And then they were kissing again, and Sheldon's hand kept moving up and up and creating sensations in Penny that she hadn't felt since she was an inexperienced teenager. Eventually he got to her breast, and quickly found the nipple. Of course, he didn't know what to do with it when he got there, but managed to figure out what was pleasurable and what was not pretty quickly.

"May I take your shirt off?" Sheldon whispered, sounding grateful and horny and excited.

"Yes, please," Penny said, and she sat up as he took her tank top off. Suddenly she was exposed to him, which turned them both on even more. The feel of his soft, hot hands on her nipples were almost too much to bear. He was getting the hang of this faster than she could have imagined. Still, she wanted to lead him a bit.

"Use your mouth," she said quietly, hoping he'd get the point. And when he did, she sharply exhaled, not expecting to feel such a plunge of desire for this man she never imagined would be in her bed.

Soon enough, she managed to get the top off his pajamas and they were both rolling around topless, skin to skin, devouring each other in a way neither of them knew possible. Penny had a feeling what was coming next, but she wanted him to feel the same way she did first.

"Sheldon, I'd like to...show you a few things, if you don't mind. I'd like to take off your pants now, and I want you to relax, okay? Tell me if you don't like what I'm doing or if you're uncomfortable."

"Yes, please," Sheldon managed to say. He was just so...sexy. Penny knew he had it in him.

Penny peeled off his pajama bottoms and gently took down the tighty whities. What she saw before her in the dark was quite impressive. On quite a few occasions, Penny had wondered what he was packing down there, and now she had her answer. Before jumping into it, Penny kissed Sheldon and then carefully caressed his fully erect cock. He made a sound Penny had never heard before.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes," he simply said, so she continued.

When she thought he had enough of the caressing, she scooted down the bed and grasped his cock with one hand, and then started working it with her tongue. Now it was Sheldon's turn to sharply inhale. After a moment, Penny said, "Is this okay, sweetie? I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"Quite the opposite," he said, so she continued. His moaning increased in volume with the more techniques Penny used. This was something she'd always been good at, much to the pleasure of many men in the Pasadena, California and outskirts of Omaha, Nebraska. It wasn't long before a warm liquid erupted into Penny's mouth, and she swallowed like she'd always been taught to. Before Sheldon even asked, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, looking at herself in the mirror and wondering what the hell was happening, but loving every second of it.

When she came back, Sheldon said, "Wow, my dreams never could have prepared me for that. Thank you, Penny."

"Happy to do it," she said, and then they were kissing again. More rolling around, more warm hands on nipples, and he even managed to bite her lip and use some tongue. It took a bit of rest, but she could feel him get hard again. Soon Sheldon said, "Can I take your shorts off?"

"Yes, I would love for you to," Penny said anxiously. She was ready for whatever was going to happen. It was possible she'd never been this wet before. Sheldon took his time in taking her little shorts off, and then her underwear, and again, she was more exposed than ever.

"Okay, I know what I do here in the dream, but I need guidance," Sheldon said. Penny didn't think words were necessary; instead, she guided his hand to her clit and showed him what she liked. He seemed to get the hang of it and soon she was writhing and moaning and loving his touch. Usually it was hard for her to come this way unless she was doing it herself, but with Sheldon's long and adept fingers, it didn't take long for her to feel a jolt run through her body and make a noise come out of her that she never heard before. And when she had a moment to compose herself, she led a finger inside of her, then two fingers. Sheldon must have Googled this maneuver at some point, because the next thing she knew, he was stimulating her G-spot and she had to put a pillow over her face to keep from screaming. And then her second orgasm of the night consumed her, and she barely had any energy left.

"Did that satisfy you?" Sheldon asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Oh, god, yes," she said, and more kissing. If she could just spend an entire day locked away in her room, rain pounding on windows, Radiohead playing on her iPod, kissing Sheldon...it would be the perfect day.

They both knew what was coming next, but neither of them knew how to bring it up. When Sheldon took a breath from all the kissing, Penny decided she had to be the one to make the next move. So she opened her bedside drawer and got out a condom. "Do you want this?" She asked him tenderly. "We so don't have to do this if you don't want to. I just need you to know that."

"Penny, I have experienced many things tonight I never planned on experiencing. Now I wish to have coitus with you to complete the experience."

"Sheldon...talk like a human being, please," Penny said, suddenly a bit annoyed. Was this all just an experiment to him? It was more than that for her. She'd never felt closer to anyone in her life, and if he wasn't taking it seriously...

Sheldon sighed. "I've had to admit to myself over time that my feelings for you as a person go deeper than friendship, and this has confused me because I thought only Amy would ever reach that level in my life. But she's gone, and I dream about you frequently, and I can't seem to stop thinking about you, and I want nothing more than to make love to you right now on this bed."

To say Penny was shocked would be an understatement. But in a good way.

"I feel the same, sweetie. Thank you for saying those amazing things about me. And now I'm going to show you how to use a condom." She took out the condom and carefully placed it on him while he watched.

"When you dream about this, am I on top or are you on top?" She whispered in his ear.

"You are always on top, at least at first," he whispered back. Penny grinned. First there was more kissing, so much more kissing. When she thought he was ready, she placed herself on top of him. Sheldon gasped.

"Are you okay?" Penny asked, concerned. Maybe this was too much, too soon.

"Yes, please continue," Sheldon managed to say. So Penny began her sensual dance. Up and down, gentle and hard, nice and wet. He tried to move with her and it was a little strange and messy at first, but soon enough they found a nice rhythm. He grabbed her hips and she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations. It wasn't perfect, but the imperfection was what made it so much more exciting. They rocked together and rolled together and he was on top and she was barely able to contain her screams of passion, and he lasted a lot longer than she thought he could, and it was just so fucking good and she couldn't believe it.

And then it was over. Sheldon moaned in a way Penny knew she'd remember for the rest of her life, and then they fell back together, intertwined, their lives changed forever. In what way it was changed, Penny had no idea. She knew it would probably be awkward for a while. She knew that if they decided to be in a relationship, it would be hard and challenging and they'd have to hide it, at least for a little while. They'd have to figure out a way to deal with each other's flaws and their different ways of coping and dealing with problems and life's little and big issues.

"That was...I'm a smart man and I can't even think of a word to describe that," Sheldon said as they lay together. "Thank you. I'm glad I experienced that for the first time with you. It meant...something to me."

"I know," Penny said, and kissed him again. "It meant something to me, too. And I won't forget it."

After separate showers, the two of them managed to finally fall asleep, their respect break-ups and heartbreaks forgotten, everything different, everything better, at least for the moment.