Kaore au e mārama.

It was Sunday in England's house, also known as Cleaning Day. And boy, was there a lot to clean up. Maybe taking in six young colonies all at once hadn't been the best idea, but it was too late to go back on that now.

"America, can you go restock the wood pile?" the Briton called, hoping that the task would keep America out of the way, at least for a little while. The short blonde nodded eagerly and was out the back door in seconds, almost knocking over India on his way.

"Australia, you and South Africa can sweep the floor in the corridor, alright?" he continued. Australia gave him a pout but reluctantly went to fetch the broom, followed by an equally reluctant South Africa. "India, I need you to dust the china in the cupboard," he commanded, knowing the Indian boy had the steadiest hand out of all his colonies and actually had a fondness for the pretty plates. India eagerly trotted off to the dining room, pausing on his way to grab a dust cloth.

"And Canada and New Zealand, I need you two to wash the windows," he finished, placing his hands on his hips. Canada nodded, bending down to pick up another dust cloth but New Zealand just tilted his head to the side and gave England a confused smile.

"Kaore au e mārama," he squeaked, swinging his arms back and forth. England groaned in irritation.

"Don't give me that, New Zealand, you know exactly what I'm saying," he scolded. New Zealand's expression didn't change and he just repeated himself.

"Kaore au e mārama."

England scowled and crouched down so he was at eye-level with the child.

"Now listen here, you little brat, you understand me every other time I talk to you, so I know full well that you understand me now! I've even seen you speak English!" he snapped, trying not to lose his temper. New Zealand gave him another smile, although this one was more cheeky than confused.

"Tēnā koa, āta korero," he grinned. England rose, fists clenched angrily as he tried to restrain himself from smacking the small child.

"We've established the fact that you speak English, you little shit, now hurry up and do as you're told!" he yelled, stomping his foot in his fury and accidently squashing one of Australia's beloved pet spiders who happened to be crawling past.

"Tēnā koa, kōrero mai anō?" he asked innocently, giving England a big smile. England's face slowly turned red and he opened his mouth to scream some obscenity at the child nation, but was cut off by a screech of horror coming from Australia, who had re-appeared, holding the broom. He dropped it to the floor and raced over to the crushed remains of his poor spider.

"Matilda! No! She was so young!" he wailed, dropping to his hands and knees. "Matildaaaaaaaa!" he sobbed, beating his forehead against the floorboards.

"Shit," England groaned. "Look, Australia, I'm sorry I stood on your spider, now please stop hitting your head on the floor," he sighed. "I'm trying to sort out your brother and I don't need you throwing a hissy fit at the same time." Australia raised his head and gave England a horrified look.

"You killed Matilda?! No! Now you have to tell Fluffy why his baby is dead!" he yelled, pounding his fists on the floor. New Zealand waved to get England's attention before pointedly turning around and walking away, cheerfully waving over his shoulder at his enraged parent nation.

"E noho rā, Mum!" he giggled, before running as fast as he could out of the room.

"Don't call me Mum, you spoilt little brat!" England yelled after him. "And get back here! You still need to clean the windows!"

He started to follow him but was interrupted by an angry kick to his leg. He glanced down to find a scowling Australia, holding his hands up out to him. Crouched in the boy's cupped palms was a huge wolf spider, roughly the size of England's own hand.

"Tell Fluffy why Matilda's dead!" the child demanded, thrusting 'Fluffy' closer to his parent's face. England paled and recoiled, stepping back and putting his hands up defensively.

"Now look, Australia, I'd love to explain to your spider what happened, but I'm afraid I have to go chase down New Zealand right now. Maybe I can tell him later."

He took another step back and gave what he thought was a comforting smile to the boy. Australia let out another shriek of protest and shoved his hands toward the Briton again.

"Tell Fluffy why Matilda died!" he repeated, his voice rising in pitch. "Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy!" By this point he was stomping his foot and becoming louder and louder with each cry.

"Australia please, I need to-" England started but was cut off yet again by a loud crash. He whipped around to see one of his lovely oak trees wedged in the doorway that led to the back yard. America was standing in front of the splintered, uprooted tree with a proud grin on his face.

"I got the wood, Engwand!" he grinned, planting his hands on his hips. England's eyes widened with horror and he reached up to clutch at his already messy blonde hair, ruffling it further.

"My trees! I meant for you to get the wood from the woodshed! Not from one of my ancient oaks!" he cried. America's smile faltered a bit.

"But I got the wood…" he mumbled, his eyes watering as he started to pout. Canada, seeing that his twin was close to tears, abruptly started crying himself, which promptly set America off too. Australia started jumping up and down, continuing with his high pitched shrieks.

"Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy!"

"I don't wanna clean!" South Africa joined in, throwing his broom down as well and sitting down on the floor with his arms crossed stubbornly. "Don't wanna! Don't wanna! Don't wanna!"

"It's too loud!" India squealed, running back into the room with his ears covered. "Be quiet!" England tightened his grip on his hair, closing his eyes as if that would drown out the noise.

"Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy! Tell Fluffy!"

"Don't wanna! Don't wanna! Don't wanna!"

"Be quiet!"

"B-but I got the wood!"

Yes, taking in six bratty colonies at once was definitely not a good idea. But, unfortunately for poor England, it's far too late to go back on that now…

THE END.

Another little colonies oneshot~

Translations key-
Kaore au e mārama- I don't understand. (maori)
Tēnā koa, āta korero- Please speak more slowly (maori)
Tēnā koa, kōrero mai anō- Please say that again (maori)
E noho rā, Mum- Good bye Mum (formal)(maori)

Thanks for reading~ Darky out~