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Bleeding Love

By shadowkillerX3 of Z-4R

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This is bad. I keep telling myself over and over that it's just impossible, that it's probably just a phase, and that it's just normal between friends who have known each other since childhood.

How should I put it? Well, I know I'm not supposed to feel this way toward Mugi. I can't believe I keep getting this weird, tingly sensation whenever I see him, it's just not normal. I mean, I'm supposed to be chasing girls now that I'm in high school, not thinking of Mugi and his incredibly soft hair, his huge, innocent eyes like those of a deer's and—Oh, stop.

Damn it, why does he have to look so cute when he's just sitting there, eating yakisoba bread? For some reason, I'd eat him, just not in a cannibalistic way. I'd let my tongue slide over his soft, smooth skin just like luscious vanilla ice cream. No, scratch that. I'd have his small, delicate lips pressing against mine, our tongues touching. I'd have him by the rear, my hard, hot rod spewing my juice into it, making a hot mess of mixed body fluids whenever we get to do it.

Ohh, what the hell am I thinking? I must have been reading too much yaoi. I need to keep reality separate from fiction if I want things to remain normal. He's probably straight anyway. Ahh, Yuu Tsukisaki, you are one lucky bitch. For Mugi to be fawning all over you like a pet, you must have had some trick up your sleeve, like some form of black magic. But that's not the case, Yuu's the hottest girl in the entire school, it's not impossible for a straight guy like Mugi to fall for her. Damn that sly fox, using her feminine charms to her advantage.

With the way they seem to enjoy being in each other's company, I guess it's safe to assume that things have been going pretty well for them. Maybe I should just give up and keep these feelings to myself until the day I die. There's no chance in hell he's ever going to fall for someone like me, and that's the hardest part, because it's me.

Then, it happened. Class is over and we were waiting to see who the cleaners will be. The class rep has drawn two cards from the box and said,

"It's your lucky day, Mugi Tadano and Kazuki Sanmiya"

Everyone cheered.

"Haha Kazuki, looks like you've run out of luck", my other childhood friend, Manami, said to me. I've managed to avoid being picked for cleaning duty for weeks so I guess she's right.

Wait, did I just hear Mugi's name with mine? Please let it be real. I don't care if I'm tired from solving math problems all day; I want to do cleaning duty with him! I may sound so desperate, but that's because I never get to be with him much since he always hangs out with Yuu. To me, cleaning the entire school with Mugi is like a dream come true! I'll do anything just to be with him! I don't need any other helpers; it'll be okay with just the two of us!

A nudge to my elbow brought me back to my senses. "Hey Kazuki, the teacher wants us to put those back in the gym storage room", Mugi said as he pointed to the Drama Club's leftover props that have been sitting at the back of the room for a week.

"Yeah, sure", I replied, trying my best not to let my voice give me away.

Oh yeah! It'll be just the two of us! I wonder if we would be able to talk at all while working. Oh man, I wish there was some way for me to reveal these impure feelings of mine.

I tried to keep myself from looking so longingly at him as we carried boxes to the gym storage room. It's hard, but I had to keep it in. My dick's getting hard, but I have to hide it and move on.

We continued in silence until we had carried all the boxes to the gym storage room. I wish I had been brave enough to break the ice.

"Well, I guess that's everything", Mugi said as he looked at the neatly stacked boxes of feathers and glitter in the storage room. Damn, why did we have to finish so soon? I don't know if I'll ever get a chance like this again.

He must've noticed my slumped shoulders, for he flashed me a grin and said, "Don't worry, we did a good job!" I felt myself getting hot with the rush of blood to my cheeks as he gently patted my shoulder.

As we were about to leave, I heard the loud crash of the storage room door and the unmistakable click of the lock. I turned to Mugi and waited for his reaction.

Mugi's eyes grew bigger as he realized that we were locked in. It must've taken a while for that fact to sink in, for he stood there for a while before finally banging on the door with both fists and yelling for help.

"The guys who locked this must've gone home already. Let's just wait until someone opens it again", I said, trying to calm him down.

Mugi smiled. "I know, but Yuu's going to be worried if I don't come home today." Oh yeah, I forgot they were housemates, and Yuu doesn't know how to cook. That really is something to be worried about.

Mugi then went to a corner of the room and sat down, worried thoughts probably swirling in his mind. I can't blame him, if I had a housemate who doesn't know how to cook, I'd be worried too. Especially when you know that she'll definitely burn the house in her attempt.

This is my chance. Class rep, despite everything he's done to make me suffer, is right about today being my lucky day. Being locked in the storage room with none other than Mugi is something I never thought possible even in my wildest, dirtiest dreams.

There are some other things to be considered if I am to confess to him right now. There's the possibility that he'll accept and we can quickly get around to do "it", which is what I want. However, there's also the possibility of him rejecting me, which will be awkward since we are locked in here until tomorrow, and I won't have any place to run off to after a rejection.

Oh God, what do I do?

I sat down next to him and tried to comfort him by saying that since there's a convenience store near his place, Yuu'll just buy her food there.

"But what if she doesn't and burns the house?"

"Don't worry, we'll find a way out of here before dinner time."

"How are we going to get out? There are no windows here, and the door can only be locked and unlocked from the outside."

He's right. Mugi then sank to the ground and let out a deep sigh.

I got down on the floor next to him. Neither of us said a word for a long time.

I looked at him, and when he looked back I asked, "Hey Mugi, can I ask you a personal question?" Mugi nodded.

I continued, "Are you in love with Yuu?" He thought about my question for a while before answering, "Well, just because we're housemates doesn't mean I don't have the choice not to fall for her."

That statement gave me hope, so I asked, "Are you in love with somebody else, then?"

I watched as he smiled and said "Yeah, but I won't tell you the name of the lucky person."

I tried to smile before turning my head away. So he's in love with someone else, and I'm just sitting here, wishing him happiness and hurting at the same time.

Mugi went to the other side of the room and slept. I got down on my back as reality started to sink in. He'll never think about falling for you, not in a million years, you gay bastard. If he's not in love with Yuu that probably means he's in love with Manami or some other girl you probably don't know. Just give up already. These thoughts continued to run in my head as I silently cried myself to sleep.

The next thing I knew, Mugi was shaking me awake because the door was unlocked. I got up and walked home with a heavy heart. I live alone, which is good because no one will interrupt me with my gaming. It'll have another advantage by the time I get there.

When I got to my room I tore out a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote about my love which will never be returned by the most important person in the world to me. I then took out a very sharp blade from the dresser and went to the bathroom with the note. I taped the note to the bathroom mirror while the tub was being filled with water. I then got in the tub with my clothes on and slit my wrist with the blade, letting the blood gush forth.

I then leaned my head against the wall as I felt the life slowly slip away. My only regret is that I wasn't brave enough to confess to him in that storage room. I'm a coward. I kept repeating that to myself until the world faded away.

FIN