For lv2bsnb who really wanted me to write a Crack fic, but Crack fics aren't really my style.

So we compromised - no Crack... but aiming to get a laugh all the same!

**Happy Birthday!**

I hope I succeed in getting a giggle or two out of you - and anyone else who reads this fic. :D

The sound of fingers taping quickly on the keyboard made her smile. It was comforting to hear him typing so fervently - knowing that something she did, something she said, something they lived through has inspired his imagination.

She glanced up from the case files and paperwork she'd spread out in front of her on the coffee table, looking straight through the open office door, to see the author hard at work, completely rapt by the words he was writing, lost in the world of Nikki and Rook.

It was a perfect Sunday morning.

She'd missed this while she was in D.C. She'd taken for granted the serenity in just being in the same space as him. The sense of peace, the calm that it gave her. Knowing a feeling of belonging. Of home.

She reached for her mug and drained the remaining drops - the coffee inside having cooled completely long ago.

Rising from the couch, she meandered towards his office, leaning against the door frame to take a moment to admire her fiancé. It's been several months now, but that thought - the thought that she was engaged to her best friend - still warmed her entirely.

"You're watching me do paperwork," Castle teased, completely engrossed in his writing. "It's creepy."

Beckett pursed her lips together, amused, as she rolled her eyes. "I like it here," she retorted playfully as she rounded the desk, resting a hand on his shoulder as she came to stand behind him.

Her left palm smoothed its way across his chest, leading her arm to hug his strong upper body as her right hand teased the sensitive hairs on the nape of his neck. He could feel her warm, sensual breathing as she nibbled lightly on the helix of his ear.

"Detective Beckett... you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"

"Why? Is it working?" she breathed, voice deep and gravelly as he felt her long fingers snake their way inside his shirt, delicately tracing his muscular pectorals.

He swallowed heavily as he felt her body brush against his as she twisted herself around him, face inches from his own. "I… uh…"

Almost sitting on his lap, her right hand continued its delicious torment, mussing his hair and lightly skimming along his neck and clavicle. His gaze never left her face as she eyed his neck, like a famished vampire looking for her next meal.

"I seriously thought I was going to have to flash you a little thigh," she whispered, voice sexually charged.

"It's not too late…" he choked out, trying to control his arousal.

Unable to suppress himself anymore, Castle leaned forward with the intent of attacking her mouth with his, but he stopped suddenly as he watched his coffee mug meet her lips, a sly grin forming on her lips as a low moan escaped from the back of her throat as she savoured the steaming liquid.

"Wha-" he stammered. He hadn't even seen her reach for the mug, let alone pick it up. 'Wow, she's good.'

She patted the side of his cheek playfully, winking, as she rose from his lap. "Thanks for the drink, Castle," she teased as she sauntered out of the office, mug still in hand, hips swaying suggestively.

"Oh sure, rile me up and steal my coffee!" he called after her. "I feel so used."

"Sex and coffee," she called over her shoulder, grinning. "That's why I still keep you around."

"Why do I feel like I'm engaged to an Amazon warrior?" he taunted.

"Careful what you wish for, buddy. Amazons killed their mates once they finished having their way with them."

"Sounds like a heavenly death to me," he replied, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"And sometimes they relieved the men of their 'Units' first - cutting them off…" she added, watching Castle cringe as his hands subconsciously crossed in front of him.

"Amazons also cut off their breasts," she continued, tilting her head playfully, hoping for a challenge.

Castle grimaced. "Scratch that. Don't want to be married to an Amazon. I like your breasts exactly where they are. Let's just go with Jedi."

"Mind tricks?..." she laughed.

"Come to the Dark Side, Kate," he leered, eyes darkening.

"Where do you think I went five minutes ago in order to steal this coffee from you?" she smirked, taking a sip of the hot beverage to suppress the giggle from escaping her lips.

"You hungry, Castle?" Kate called from the couch.

He waggled his eyebrows slightly as he looked up from his computer. "I'm always ready to nibble on-"

"Castle!"

"Just being honest," he smiled.

"Cute," she smirked. "Seriously though. It's almost one o'clock. Do you want anything to eat… no!... chew on… err… put in your mouth… don't say it!…" she stammered just before throwing up her hands in defeat. "Oh forget it. Everything I say is going to sound dirty at this point."

"Like candy…" Castle muttered under his breath as he grinned to himself.

"What was that?" she demanded.

He looked up, face looking as innocent as possible. "Nothing…"

Beckett huffed as she got up from the couch, making her way towards the fridge.

"You're making lunch for me, Kate? That's so-"

"Yeah right," she laughed as she perused the contents of the refrigerator. "You're on your own, hot shot."

A huge toothy grin washed over Castle's face. He so loved this verbal sparring. "So, what're you in the mood for?"

"Nice try. Not going there again," she chuckled. "I figured I'd just finish off the stew that was left over from the other night."

"Arm yourself accordingly, then," he stated, gazing at his computer screen.

"Sorry?"

"Gotta use the right tool for the job, Beckett," he remarked as if what he was saying was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're having stew. Gotta use a spork."

"A spork," she repeated, voice laced with cynicism.

"Darn straight! Stew is what inspired the creation of the spork!"

She found that tidbit slightly intriguing. "Really?"

"No idea… but it's totally possible!" he remarked, to which Beckett answered with a patented roll of the eyes.

"A fork is just fine for me, Castle."

"But then you'll miss out on all the yummy deliciousness of the sauce!"

Just to appease him, Beckett relented. "Fine," she huffed. "I'll use a spork."

"There's one in the top drawer behind the regular utensils," he grinned.

Hearing the clattering of the metal utensils - knowing Beckett was finally going to enjoy the merits of the spork - brought such an inexplicable sense of joy to the writer.

A few minutes passed before she called out, head buried in the drawer. "I can't find your spork."

The typing halted as he looked up from writing.

"Castle! That's not what I meant! Stop putting things in my mouth!"

He practically choked as he held his hands up in front of him in a sign of surrender, pursing his lips together. Tight.

"Look, it's fine. I'll just use a fork and a spoon," she stated flatly, quickly changing the subject.

Castle released a frustrated sigh as he got up from his desk and made his way to the kitchen. "No, no. You gotta use the spork, Kate. I know it's there. I saw it yesterday."

"I don't know what to tell you, Castle," she said, her hand gesturing towards the drawer, inviting him to have a look. "It's not there now."

"Not possible…" he mumbled as he started to dig through the back of the drawer, "...unless…"

"Hey Mr. C!"

Castle dropped his forehead against the drawer as he closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. "Pi…"

Beckett watched the bane of Castle's existence thump down the stairs and drop a few dishes in the sink. "Al and I were just enjoying mango fillets. You want me to make you one?"

"No thank you," Castle mumbled flatly, wishing he could bury his head deeper into the drawer.

"Maybe next time," he shrugged happily, making his way back up the stairs. "If you do decide to have one, we've discovered that eating it with a spork is the way to go."

Castle's head shot up just in time to see Pi's foot disappear from the top step. As if in a trance, he shuffled over to the sink. Lying there, amongst two sticky bowls that were covered in mango pulp, was his beloved spork.

He closed his eyes and exhaled very, very slowly.

"Well, now we know where the spork went," Kate sighed as she opened the cupboard to retrieve the dish soap.

However, her hand was quickly caught in Castle's strong grip as he halted her movements.

"Grab your coat, Beckett," he declared as he rushed to the hall closet.

"Huh? Why?"

"We're going shopping. Now!" he stated, shrugging on his jacket. "I need bleach, iodine, ethyl alcohol, and chlorine… no way that spork is ever touching my lips or your lips before it gets properly disinfected! Safety before stew!" he insisted, as he dragged her out the front door.

So much for the perfect Sunday afternoon.

xxxxxxx

Didja smile? Come on, didja? Even a little?

Let me know! I'd love to know if I managed to brighten someone's day for even a few minutes. :D

So there you go... Judge away. :)