A Stultus Pulchram Story

Chapter 0

What Happened Before

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"Hello there. I'm your Unreliable Narrator, UberNimrod here with an exciting tale. A tale of Magic. A tale of Suspense..."

"A tale of Bimbos."

"Quiet, you Unknown Background Commentator. Anyway, the tale itself is called "Stultus Pulchram." Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, you can only find that particular tale in hentai web sites. Meaning you shouldn't go looking for that story until you are over the age of 10. If you don't know what hentai is, go ask your mother."

"Umm..."

"At any rate, since some places on the Internet seem intent on downloading spyware, viruses, malware, and Twilight fanfiction onto your computer, I will be nice enough to describe what happens so you don't have to go searching for the doujinshi. Otherwise you might suffer from losing all of your files, identity theft, low gas mileage, or unexplained popup ads that will appear when your parents use the computer."

"Is it a doujinshi if it was done entirely in 3d Custom Girl?"

"Good question. No idea. The story begins with Negi announcing to Asuna, Haruna, Yue, and Nodoka that he will be leaving for for the weekend to go on a business trip, and that they should not mess with any of his magical items and books. They promise not to do such a thing. However, the moment Negi leaves, Haruna decides to start messing with one of the magical books looking for spells...

"Negi-sensei said that magic that makes people fall in love is forbidden," said Nodoka.

"Hmm... That's true I suppose... Oh! How about this?" asked Haruna.

"What is it?" Yue asked.

"It's called 'Stultus Pulchram.' It doesn't actually make people fall in love with you, but it makes you more appealing to the opposite sex in general. It doesn't change their feelings, it just changes you. That's gotta be legal right?" Haruna asked with an eager look on her face."

"Legal, maybe. But considering what 'Stultus Pulchram' translates into, it might not be the wisest thing to do."

"Remind me why I brought you along?"

"Color commentary and snarky remarks. Also something about me needing fresh air."

"Well, anyway, Haruna talks the others into at least trying the spell, with Asuna as the guinea pig...

"Don't worry about it! Everything will be fine! Well, there were some warnings about loss of intelligence or something like that, but I'm sure its nothing to worry about since you're pretty dumb already after all," Haruna said as she stood up from the table.

"Wait a second Haruna," Asuna replied as she backed from the table, "Loss of intelligence? What other warnings were there?"

"I said don't worry about it. Now let's see... I just gotta point my finger at you and say the magic words," Haruna said as she raised her hand to cast the spell.

"Haruna! Wait!" Asuna said.

"Stultus Pulchram!" Haruna said. A pink swirl of energy shot from her finger and struck Asuna.

"Whereupon it was negated by Asuna's Magic Cancel which has been shown to be able to negate even magical battleship fire."

"You'd think so, Unknown Commentator, but you would be wrong in this instance."

"I call shenanigans."

"What you call shenanigans, TVTropes calls Rule of Funny. And I will pistol-whip you if you say that again."

"Bonus points if you get that reference kids."

"Wow! I feel like, totally hot all of a sudden," Asuna said. Then she giggled.

"Asuna?" Yue asked.

"A-A-Asuna?" Nodoka stuttered.

"Woah. Holy crap! It worked!" Haruna said.

It did work. Before them stood a much changed Asuna. Instead of the high-school uniform she wore, she now had a pink camisole top with very short shorts, and high heels. She was also wearing makeup and hoop earrings that had not been present before. Her breasts had dramatically increased in size, though it was obvious that her top was the only thing covering them as she had no bra.

"So uh... Asuna... How do you feel?" Haruna asked.

"I feel like, so totally great!" Asuna smiled before giggling again.

"Asuna is... acting strange..." Nodoka said.

"Yeah..." Yue agreed.

"Screw how she's acting, look at those boobs! I had no idea something like THAT would happen!" Haruna said while continuing to admire Asuna's new look.

"Like, of course I got big boobies! I'm a Bimbo!" Asuna said then giggled some more.

"B-B-Bimbo?!" Nodoka's stuttering had reached panic levels.

Yue turned to Haruna, "Does this have something to do with that "loss of intelligence" thing you were talking about?"

"Um... Maybe," Haruna said.

"Ok like, I'm like having a super fun time hanging out with you guys and stuff, but like, I think we'd have waaaay more fun if you guys were Bimbos too, so like..." Asuna said as she raised her arm to point at Haruna, giggling as she did so.

"Bimbos too? Wait Asuna, that's..." Haruna started to say.

"Stultus Pulchram," Asuna said.

"Haruna!" Both Yue and Nodoka said, but it was too late. Haruna was struck with a pink swirl of energy.

"Wow, like, you were totally right, Asuna! I like, feel so much better now!" Haruna said before giggling herself.

"I know, right?" Asuna smiled before giggling.

Yue and Nodoka were too stunned to move. Haruna's high-school uniform and glasses were gone, replaced by a bunny costume reminiscent of the suits Playboy bunnies used to wear, minus the ears. The red costume that showed her increased assets were set off by the dark brown tights she was wearing to show off her shapely legs.

"I just noticed something."

"And what would that be Unknown Commentator?"

"I note they have their standard junior-high uniforms in the doujinshi, but you are describing them as having high-school uniforms here."

"I don't think ffnet is ready for junior-high aged bimbos. I want to keep this at a M rating."

"You know that the age of consent is much lower in Japan than it is here in the States right?"

"Your point? Anyway, as you can guess, both Nodoka and Yue are turned into Bimbos by Haruna and Asuna. When Konoka enters the room, she is turned into a Bimbo as well, who then turns Setsuna into a Bimbo when she enters the room to see Konoka. Then this happens..."

"Hey guys, I've like, got a totally great idea!" Asuna said.

"Like, what is it?" Haruna asked.

"How about we like, turn EVERYONE into Bimbos!" Asuna said before giggling.

"Oh my God, that'd be like, so much fun!" Yue giggled as she said that.

"Totally! Let's do it!" Nodoka giggled.

"Wait, like the whole world?" Konoka asked.

"Maybe!" Asuna said, "But like, first we gotta start small... like... the girls in our class! Then the school! Then like the whole world!" That prompted another giggle from Asuna.

"Yeah!" Setsuna said, joining in the giggling.

"Let's go!" Haruna cheered.

"And so they set off, and gradually convert their entire class into Bimbos. Even Sayo, Chao, Chachamaru, and Evangeline."

"You're not going to tell them how?"

"Nope."

"You do realize that is just going to encourage them to go looking for that doujinshi right?"

"The point I am trying to make is that the doujinshi ends when Negi returns and discovers his class has turned into Bimbos. There is nothing telling about how everyone was restored to normal, or anything. I'm going to fix that. The doujinshi is just the base for the story I'm writing. If people want to risk their computers looking for the doujinshi, then that is their business."

"..."

"And it only cost me $35 for the computer guy to take the viruses off the laptop, and it was needing to be done anyway."

"Oh I see. So stay tuned and favorite this story. That way you can know when it gets updated."

"By the way, I do not own either Negima or Stultus Pulchram. So there."