Just another dorky one-shot from me!

Before you get upset, please note that nothing in this particular fic is based on anyone real. I just wanted to deal with how Mike handles the most typical form of Internet criticism; I don't intend to call out specific people, no one specific was on my mind when I wrote it, and none of the dialogue based on anything I've really seen said about the show.

So if you think you see yourself in this fic, you're wrong.

That's all. Enjoy!

The creak of Mike's chair as he rolled it back from his computer desk hit Zoey's ears as she sat on his bed, engrossed in a book she'd taken from his shelf. She'd adjusted to the room being silent except for the occasional click of his mouse, so the sound managed to take her out of the story. She looked up to see him approaching the bed, a blank expression on his face. The mattress beneath her sank as he sat by her side and adjusted his long legs into a comfortable position. His arm draped around her shoulders, which took away the remainder of chance she had left of getting back into the book, but this was nothing troublesome or unusual. It was an enjoyable novel, but she took no issue with putting it down and having an impromptu cuddle with Mike. She never had any problem with that, and Mike knew it. So, her mind was perfectly clear when she wrapped her arms around his scrawny waist and nuzzled her head against the crook of his neck.

This was normally the point where Mike's other arm would encircle her body or bring his hand through her hair. However, his touch never came, nor did any of his usual affectionate words. Zoey lifted her head to look up at him, only see him staring blankly ahead at the wall, rather than watching her with his typical reverence.

"Mike?" she asked.

"Am I crazy?"

"Huh?" Zoey lifted her head and looked into his eyes, although he still stared ahead.

"Am I crazy?" he repeated.

"Mike..." Zoey squeezed him tighter. "Of course you're not crazy. What are you talking about?"

"Well..." He sighed heavily. "I was reading the comments on the official Total Drama site-"

"I thought I warned you not to do that."

"I know, but I got curious... I left the page up if you want to see what I mean."

Zoey almost didn't want to see the cruel things people had posted about her boyfriend in the months since the last time she checked. If it was her choice, she'd never visit that horrible website again. But judging by the defeated look on Mike's face, knowing exactly which words got to him so she could counter them specifically would be helpful at cheering him up, so she removed herself from his weakened embrace and went to sit at his computer. Mike followed and stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders, as she moved the mouse to bring the screen back to life.

Immediately, the bright, eye-catching colors of Mike's official page on the Total Drama site greeted her eyes. She instantly cringed at the reminder of what title Chris chose for him – Mike was so much more than his multiple personality disorder, thank you very much – and quickly scrolled down to get those words off the screen. Mike's page fit the same template as everyone else who had played the game before. It contained a write-up about his performance in the one season he'd played so far, a link to watch his audition for the show, a link to read his pre-show interview, photos both from the show and from behind the scenes, an announcement that he'd elected to appear on the next season whenever Chris got out of jail... nothing here surprised her, since it matched what she'd seen from the other pages, even before she joined the game. It hadn't changed in months except for that sentence about the next season.

Zoey stopped her rapid scrolling once the word "comments" appeared. She couldn't bring herself to go any further than this. Zoey realized from the start that no one here knew what they were talking about. They hadn't spent more than half a year as his girlfriend and best friend, so how could they think they knew him better than she did just because they watched him on TV? But even with the knowledge they were all wrong, she still couldn't stand the accusations they made.

"Scroll down," Mike told her. "There's nothing bad in what the producers wrote, but the comments-"

"Mike, you know it's all trash, right?"

"What if they're right, though?"

"I know they're not..." Despite how much she dreaded doing this, she did as Mike asked and scrolled down to read what people had to say. A lot of the newest comments weren't so bad; things about people hoping he wins next season (although the death threats against Scott for booting him off last time might not have been necessary, as much as she hated him), comments about how cute he was with Zoey, comments about how cute he was on his own, light-hearted jokes about his scrawny build... a few posts seemed to praise his alters more than Mike himself, but Mike had long since made peace with that happening, so she knew that wasn't the issue... Zoey almost wondered what the problem was. This was a lot kinder than the last time she looked and warned him away.

But then the harsher comments started hitting.

"How did Mike make it so far? I hope he dies in a challenge next year!"

"What does Zoey want with a lunatic like Mike? Well, they both suck, so they deserve each other."

"Don't they have homes for people like him?"

"Vito's so hot! But who cares about Mike? He's boring."

And those were just the ones that could spell properly. Sprinkled among the compliments were several long-winded, all-caps rants, most of which targeted Mike's most obvious weak point. Words like "crazy" and "insane" began taking over the screen, along with insistence that everyone would be better off if people like Mike were locked up and kept away from society.

"Ugh! I give up! I can't read these anymore!" Zoey closed the tab and spun the chair around to face Mike. "Do you really believe...?"

Mike crossed his arms and looked away from her. "It's... not like I haven't been hearing that stuff all my life anyway... and if so many people say it, then I wonder-"

Zoey lifted a finger and placed it over Mike's lips. "Hush." She stood and pulled him into a hug. "You're not crazy, okay? I know you have your... problems, but... you're not crazy. I know you're trying as hard as you can. And you do not deserve to be locked up. That's ridiculous."

Mike still didn't return her embrace. "It's just hard when I hear it so much."

"They don't matter. What about when I say you're not crazy? Don't I matter more than a bunch of strangers?"

"Of course!" Mike said in the usual panic he showed whenever he thought he'd offended her. "Of course you matter more than them! I just... sometimes I wish my mind was normal, that's all."

Zoey stood on her toes and kissed his forehead. "I think your mind is beautiful."

"Don't you ever wish I was easier to deal with?"

She shook her head. "Of course not. I chose you, with everything that comes with. I don't think you're crazy or a burden, all right? I love you, Mike. That's not gonna change, especially not because of what a 13-year-old with a keyboard thinks."

Mike finally hugged Zoey back. "Thanks. I love you too."

"Now promise me something," Zoey said.

"What?"

"Promise you'll stop reading stupid Internet comments."

Mike gave a small laugh and hugged her tighter. "Deal."

The pair stood in silence for a moment, simply enjoying each other's warmth. But right when Zoey had adjusted to the hug and Mike's calmed mood, he pulled back and gave her an exaggerated pout.

"I think I still need cheering up, though..." he said in an overly-sad tone. Zoey loved him dearly and would forever encourage him on his path to stage acting, but she couldn't help but think his acting skills still needed some work.

"I know what'll make you happy," Zoey said with a smirk. She drifted her fingers down Mike's chest as she smiled up at him. Mike smiled, too; he clearly knew what she intended to offer.

"How about we go get some movies from the discount bin at the grocery store?" Zoey asked.

Mike smiled wider, having guessed her plan correctly. "Can we make popcorn, too?"

Zoey laughed at his enthusiasm. Mike was known for his occasional mood swing like this, but she wouldn't have had it any other way. "Yes, we can make popcorn."

"Cheesy popcorn?" Mike's voice had reached an excitement level usually reserved for small children.

"Of course! What other popcorn would we buy?"

"Oh! Root beer, too! We should get a case of root beer!"

The pair discussed different popcorn flavors, other snacks and drinks they should grab, and what movie genre they were interested in for the night as they got ready to leave. Even leaving his disorder aside, Mike still had his own quirks and habits that probably would have earned him the "insane" label from judgmental bystanders who excepted the world to fall into step with their own views and no one else's.

And this quirkiness was exactly what drew her to him. After all, she loved oddballs.