Alone Together. CHAPTER 3: The River of Nightmares and the Canyon of Wishes.

Emma just wanted to move on, find Henry and stay focused on that goal and forget about whatever delusion imaginary dream or whatever she had just awoken from. She shook herself off and started to walk towards the river that they needed to cross when she stopped dead in her tracks.

"There's...uh... where's the water?" Emma murmured finding herself facing, instead of a wide vast river of still water, a wide vast canyon.

"This shouldn't come as a surprise if you had read the sign." Gold casually pipped in and walked over to the right where an old wooden sign was posted, Emma could not for the life of her remember seeing the night before. The sign read: The River of Nightmares and the Canyon of Wishes.

"So... so at night it's a river and during the day it's a canyon?" Emma said slowly, trying to wrap her mind around that concept.

"Well,..." Gold walked along the edge gesturing, "whose to say that a canyon isn't just an empty river and a river isn't just a canyon full of water?" He spun to face her, he seemed a bit delighted with this reasoning.

"So when you said still waters run deep..." Emma glanced over the edge, seeing absolutely no bottom.

"I wasn't really being metaphorical, no." Gold crossed his arms like he was waiting for this conversation to be over.

"But why didn't we just cross at night?!" Emma suddenly thought, annoyed, "A river is much easier to cross then a canyon! We could of swam! What are we suppose to do now?! FLY?!"

Gold gave her a look that told her she wasn't far off. Oh dear.

"You are forgetting, Miss Swan, this is the River of Nightmares and the Canyon of Wishes. Now, which would you rather face? Your nightmares? Or your wishes?"

"You just said no one dreams in Neverland."

"That doesn't mean there aren't any nightmares here, it only makes them all the more real... actually.." Even Gold looked disturbed by that as he said it, giving Emma a shiver. She remembered the horrible feeling she had when looking at the river last night, she had to admit the canyon didn't really give her the same feeling.

"Okay, so what's the deal with this Canyon of Wishes?" Emma walked a little closer, trying to be confident but instead feeling a bit hesitant. There really wasn't a bottom... that she could see.

"Well Miss Swan..." Gold sighed and looked at canyon, he actually seemed hesitant too, which both surprised and worried Emma, "Neverland is powered with belief. One needs to believe fully in what is around them in order to succeed here.."

Emma had a sudden flash of Neal talking to her, "What you believe is more powerful then anything else here..." His words flashed through her mind, and she bit her lip.

"So,.." Gold reluctantly seemed to continue, "the canyon won't let you cross unless you fully believe in your deepest wish... it's one of the many fun and delightful games around these parts.." the last part came out in his more mocking tone.

Emma sighed deeply and took in the wide vastness of the canyon in front of her, an eerie fog rolling slowly in it's crevices. "...fully believe in my deepest wish." Emma murmured. "Well, that's easy enough," She said looking confidently over at Gold, "My deepest wish is to find Henry and bring him home."

"Huh." Gold seemed unimpressed with this statement. "Where's home?"

"Storybrooke, of course."

"So, let me get this straight Miss Swan," Gold started pacing, "Your deepest, absolutely deepest wish you have in your soul," He paused and raised his eyebrows at Emma causing her to frown, "is to find your biological son and return him to the town he grew up in?"

"Yeah," Emma was confused by his skepticism, "Why? What's wrong with that? It's a perfectly reasonable wish given the circumstances."

"...perfectly reasonable wish given the circumstances." Gold literally mocked her words back into her face, she frowned. "A perfectly reasonable wish is not going to get you across the canyon, dearie. You need to dig deep and be horribly and painfully honest with yourself. WHAT is your DEEPEST wish?"

"Ugh!" Emma threw her hands up in frustration and paced away from him and then back and then away, "This is the map all over again! I really don't... Do we even have to cross this thing? Isn't there maybe another way?" She looked at him hopefully.

"No. This is the way to Grandfather's house. Over the 'river' and through the woods. That's where we're going." Gold said calmly, pausing for a moment as Emma looked at him with severe frustration and bewilderment before he continued, "No one said Neverland was fun." He finished darkly.

"Well, yes, actually!" Emma countered, "In all the stories Neverland IS fun! It's where kid's get to be kid's forever, play games, do whatever they want without grown-ups telling them otherwise..." She trailed off a bit in thought. Right? That was what Neverland was suppose to be?

"Tell me Miss Swan, does that really sound fun to you? A bunch of children doing whatever they want without their mother's or father's around? That's really just a bunch of anarchy-loving chaotic orphans, isn't it?" Gold raised his eyebrows expectantly at her.

"I suppose..."

"But," Something dark flashed in Gold's eyes, "It does perhaps sound familiar, doesn't it? Not having parents, doing whatever you want... Miss Swan?"

Emma shifted uncomfortably, "Yeah," She responded bitterly, "I suppose. But what's your point? I already admitted to being an orphan. That.. Yeah, Sure!. ..I look at the lost boys and I see myself in them... What of it?"

"You tell me," Gold's voice was heavy and then he raised his hand up, "Actually, no, you tell yourself. What of it, indeed?" And he backed off about several feet from her.

Emma gave him an exasperated look and threw her hands wide, but Gold just gave her a steady look of 'Figure it out.' Emma spun around and paced away from him again then a thought occurred to her and she spun back around to face him.

"What about you?" She pointed towards him looking a little proud of herself, "Don't you need to fully believe in your deepest wish as well? How are you gonna get across?"

"I'm over 300 years old, Miss Swan, you don't think I've already figured out my deepest wish?" His tone was sarcastic.

"Well, what is it?"

"None of your business, dearie."

"Oh come on! I've told you that who I really am is a lost orphan. Who are you really? What's your wish? Isn't it fair, that you share something with me?"

"There is no such thing as fair."

"If this is a game, as you like to put it, then there are rules. Therefore there is a certain level of fairness... is there not?"

"Not if the game is fixed."

"It can't be fixed! Why would we EVEN be trying then?"

Emma suddenly became aware that they were bickering like children. She sighed and just threw her hands up again in defeat.

"Miss Swan, why don't you just focus on finding your own deepest wish so we can move on." Gold sounded tired.

"You know,... you can call me Emma, Miss Swan is so formal."

"I'd really prefer not to."

"Whatever..." Emma walked away from him.

After she was a good twenty feet away, she sat her self down indian style and tried to calm down and focus. She put her head in her hands. What was her deepest wish? Did it have something to do with being an orphan? Was it having a family? She turned around that thought in her head, and it made tears well up in her eyes. Yes. Having a family. That must be it. She moved like she was gonna stand up, but then paused... but was that too easy? Was it more than that? She stood slowly anyhow, and she saw Gold look over curiously at her. She walked slowly back over to where he was standing, waiting.

"I wish I had a family." She said quietly.

"How sweet." Gold responded, "Don't we all."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. Okay so, she was right, that was too easy. Emma sighed angrily towards the canyon.

"Family is a rather vague concept." Gold said, his voice serious but it almost sounded helpful. She looked him and became very aware of the lines on his face. He was right. She needed to define what a family was for her personally. What was a family? Being safe. Being loved. Being happy. Feeling like the best version of yourself. Feeling at home no matter where you are. Had she ever felt that? Completely? With anyone? Not with Mary Margaret and David, that was for sure. With Henry? She wanted to say yes... but, something ate at her saying no. With... Oh. Before she could stop herself the words came out of her mouth in a whisper,

"My deepest wish is Neal."

As soon as the words left her mouth, a wooshing sound filled her ears and everything blurred in front of her, she closed her eyes in shock and when she opened them she was standing on the other side of the canyon staring back at a very small distant Gold. Oh. It worked.

But then also, OOOh. Her deepest wish was Neal? She said that out loud. Did he hear her? He must of. She started chewing on her lip nervously as she eyed the tiny figure of Mr. Gold on the other side of the canyon. Would he be mad? He said to never talk about his son again. But then suddenly a dark and horrible realization washed over her. Her deepest wish was Neal, and Neal was dead. He was gone. He was her only ever true family and he was gone forever. She felt the wind knocked out of her and she bent over with her hands on her knees, trying to control herself but before she knew it she was on her knees on the ground with tears running down her face. Damnit. The more she tried to stop, the more she couldn't control it, she was shaking and had her hands grasped over her mouth trying to contain the sobs. Her breathes were raspy and erratic, she squeezed her eyes shut like as if that could squeeze away this horrible feeling. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she started and looked up in surprise. Mr. Gold was standing over her looking at her with a very dark look on his face. His jaw was set very tightly, but his eyes were almost... almost sad, briefly, before they hardened at her.

"Someone once told me that you need to let go of the past, to move forward into the future." His voice was heavy and he had quickly removed his hand from her shoulder, wiping his hands as if they were contaminated, "Don't dwell on the past." With that he walked away quickly, very quickly. In fact too quickly. Emma jumped up realizing that she need to move so she didn't loose him as he reentered the forest. She took a shaky deep breath and followed him. She had completely missed his crossing of the canyon, and she briefly wondered what his wish was.