Chapter Forty-Five: Confrontation
Nothingness stretched in all directions, arching over her head and under her feet. It was almost as though the earth and sky had both been dipped in colorless paint that had rendered everything both dark and light at once.
"Poor child," someone sneered. "So alone. So afraid."
Rue wanted to tell whoever it was that she wasn't afraid, but her voice didn't seem to work the way she was used to. She tried to look down, but she didn't seem to have a neck, or eyes, for that matter. It was as if her consciousness had been pulled from her body and left suspended in the air of a world made of nothing.
She had no form, no shape, no physical essence. But she could see all around, three hundred and sixty degrees of awareness that looked everywhere at once, and her voice... if that's what it even was... seemed to have no trouble being heard despite her lack of a mouth or vocal chords. It occurred to her, as she floated, that not having a body should have frightened her... but then, she'd already been through so many bizarre situations that this one was kind of tame.
Been there, done that, as the saying goes.
"Of course you're afraid," the voice told her, tone resonating with impatience and pity. "Why shouldn't you be, when you look the way you do? The world willhate you because you're a monster. I'd hate you, too, if I was them... you're so ugly it's almost laughable."
If she'd had a throat, it would have swelled with the foreshadowing of tears.
She wanted to tell whoever this was that she wasn't ugly... that even as a monster, she wasn't a disgusting creature.
But almost as if it could hear her, the voice answered her thoughts with a response.
"Of course you are," the one taunting her snickered. "Look at you."
The 'sky' in front of her cracked, showering her with light and shadow as it glazed over and became solid in a wave of color. It hurt to look at after being exposed to a world so lacking in substance. It reflected everything and nothing, a mirror in a world with nothing to reflect, and as she studied its contours a dark shape blossomed 'below' her and surged upward.
Suddenly, she had a face and a body: she could see herself.
A winged monstrosity, with two huge fox ears extending from her skull and nine white tails. A snarling mouth, with four huge fangs expanding from her upper and lower jaw... bright yellow eyes, glaring out of an abnormally white face hooded with raw agony and hatred.
"Look," the voice whispered; the mirror roared towards her until it was only a single inch from the tip of her nose. "Look at yourself and tell me that you're not the most hideous creature in existence."
She wanted to deny it: truly, she did. But those demonic features, that terrible marred expression, those horribly disjointed wings, those empty yellow eyes, and the mouth that concealed rows of jagged, serrated teeth... she was the ugliest, most frightening, most abhorrent creature to ever, ever live.
When she beheld her true face, she actually screamed.
The sound ripped from behind those horrible teeth like the wail of a child in pain.
"Trust in me," the voice whispered. "I can give you your old form back, I can give you back your world, whatever you desire. I can make you happy, Ruebella, if only you'll give yourself to me and open me up."
Waking up from that dream felt like being born yet again, thrust so cruelly back into reality that she felt at odds with the cocoon of warmth she had been wrapped inside of. Still half asleep, she choked as if she wanted to heave out her intestines, but since she hadn't eaten... all that came up was a drop of bile and saliva that made her throat burn. The darkness of the night pressed in, lapping at her skin like wolves.
Chills made her lower back tighten until she could hardly move from tension.
However, as she lay there, something cold was pressed against her back.
She only vaguely realized it was there because it was also wet.
After a moment, the sensation disappeared... then returned with a stroking motion.
The feeling repeated itself continuously.
Not long after, she felt whatever it was stroke her forehead.
Then it disappeared.
Shivering thanks to the chilled wetness on her skin, Rue wearily opened her eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. She was still lying in the middle of the woods, and judging by the dark sky and moon hovering high above, it was very early in the morning. Blinking several times, she looked down at herself and realized that she was shirtless. There were several bloodstained rags lying on the ground beside her.
Taking another confused look around, she spotted Kagome and the others sleeping nearby, but Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen. Slowly, the girl sat up and touched her forehead, feeling more than a little disoriented and strangely nauseous.
"You're awake," someone said softly. "Was it I who woke you?"
Her heart instantly skipped a beat, and she quickly turned around.
Reiji was standing near the edge of the clearing, staring at her with a sharp green eye.
Terror flooded through her and she abruptly covered her chest.
His eye twitched when she gave him a wary visage.
"Where is my shirt...?" she croaked, shivering violently when he glared at her. "Why am I half naked?"
"Because I removed it," Reiji sourly grunted. "Now shut up and stay still."
Fear flooded through her when he walked over to her: before she could stop herself, she instinctively cowered, protectively covering her chest and shrinking into a ball. His footsteps paused when she crushed her head against her knees and huddled up, much like a pill bug.
However, he didn't stop.
Holding a bucket of what looked to be water, the half demon knelt down and pulled a small, damp strip of cloth out of it before gently stretching his clawed hands out. When he used the chilly rag to wash the already half-healed stab wounds that had been carved into her body, she jumped and shivered.
"Don't... touch me," she whispered, not uncurling from her position. "Please."
He refused to acknowledge her request: mouth taught, he scrubbed, giving off a slightly menacing aura.
"Why didn't you listen to Inuyasha?" he demanded, pulling back and looking at her in distrust. "I don't understand. Aren't you supposed to be comrades or whatever?"
Rue's entire body winced, and she slowly lifted her eyes.
The redhead waited for her response, not lowering his piercing one-eyed stare from her own... however, when she gave him a weak little smile, his eye twitched and his shoulders tensed.
"It's not important," she rasped, yellow eyes looking hollow from the inside out. "I just... made a mistake."
"Don't redirect the question," he stated fiercely, iris hardening instantaneously. "Who did you see when that demon showed up? Speak the truth."
She merely closed her eyes and buried her head in her knees.
"The truth?" Rue whispered, aching all over in more ways than one. "The truth is painful. That demon looked and sounded exactly like a girl I used to know, so I let my guard down for a minute. I stupidly let myself become deluded into thinking it was her... but I was wrong. It wasn't Mizore."
"Mizore?" he sneered, narrowing his eyes. "Tell me, who is this Mizore?"
Rue slowly opened her eyes and stared at her sleeping bag, long-lashed eyes glimmering with a softer expression.
"Mizore... was a wonderful person who loved and embraced life," she stated quietly, lost in memory. "Even though she was a fox demon, she was the kind of girl who could walk into a room, talk to someone for only ten minutes, and they'd remember her forever. She was bright... funny, outgoing, energetic... and her sarcastic sense of humor could lighten my mood even when I was at my worst. She was my friend."
He stared at her, puzzled.
"Where did you meet this girl?" he carefully inquired. "Was it before or after you left Kaede's Village?"
"After," Rue told him, lifting her eyes. "When my soul shattered, in order to save my life, Ria sacrificed herself by letting a woman named Midoriko merge us into one being. Because of that, my body began to change, so I had to leave everyone for a while. I went to a secret place... a Cavern Village deep in the mountains."
"A cavern village?" he growled, not believing his ears. "Does such a place exist?"
"Not anymore," Rue whispered, biting the inside of her cheek when she felt the familiar sting of tears behind her eyes. "It was a haven for demons who needed special guidance."
"What happened there?" Reiji demanded, leaning back and folding his arms. "Tell me."
The girl's blank expression cracked like glass, and for a long moment, she was assaulted by a powerful ache.
She was quiet for a long time.
Her chest was hurting... she felt sick, remembering the destruction at the village.
It made her want to vomit and start crying... but, after a moment, she used her oldest mental tactic and simply let her consciousness float away from her.
She became detached, the same way that she'd done countless times growing up.
Soon, her mouth was moving and he felt next to nothing.
She was outside of herself.
"The Band of Seven came and destroyed everything," Rue droned, speaking robotically. "Because Naraku was looking for me, everyone... everyone was killed. My teachers... my friends... all of the children... even Mizore and Nanami's fiancee, Daichi. Everyone was killed but my teacher, Sarasa."
He stared at her, brows raising.
Something about her expression seemed off to him: after hearing that, he'd have expected her to be full of ire towards Naraku like everyone else... but instead, she didn't even seem to be upset. Forget pissed: she looked as though she wasn't even bothered by what she'd been through.
"You say that," he muttered, furrowing his brows, "so why is it that you don't even seem angry?"
"Angry?" Rue repeated, not taking her eyes off the ground. "I don't think angry is the right word."
"Then what word would you use?" he grumbled. "Spill it."
She didn't answer for a long moment.
"I don't even know anymore," Rue murmured sadly, startling him by getting to her feet and tugging her sailor shirt on; after fluffing her hair out, she headed into the forest. "If I had to put a word to it... numb."
"Where are you going?" Reiji demanded, blinking rapidly. "Oi!"
"A walk," Rue absently retorted, pausing for a moment. "I won't be gone long."
"You shouldn't be moving around after getting stabbed," Reiji hissed, getting to his feet. "Lie down and rest!"
Rue simply ignored him and continued walking.
In truth, she was annoyed now.
Matted hair swaying behind her, the pale girl walked through the shadows... but after stepping into a moonlit glade of trees, Rue slowed her pace and looked up at the sky with empty eyes. Arms hanging limply at her sides, the haunted teen did nothing aside from gaze at the full moon. A gentle wind blew through the clearing as she tried to figure out what was wrong with her, tugging on several strands of her silver hair.
Slowly lifting her hands to her chest, she sank down to her knees and fell over on her side, curling up into a little ball as a wave of clear, blatant confusion and anxiety rose to the surface of her heart. She didn't know what to believe in anymore. For her, life was now so complicated and confusing that it was beyond her level of comprehension: here in the realm of fantasy, nothing seemed to work how she expected it to.
When a twig snapped somewhere in the darkness behind her, Rue shakily sat up and turned around, looking for the person lurking in the shadows. After a moment, someone stepped into the glade with her: her brow twitched with irritation when she realized Reiji had followed her.
Standing up, she turned to walk away into the forest, but he simply shadowed her again.
After several minutes of this slow game of cat and mouse, Rue turned around.
"Stop following me," she demanded, giving him a look before stalking off again. "I want to be alone."
The redhead simply continued to match her pace, refusing to speak or lower his eye.
They walked for ten minutes.
However, when she finally gave up and sat down on a log, the half demon pointedly sat down next to her and thrust a chunk of bread in front of her nose. Rue turned her head away and refused to take it.
"You don't trust me," he finally stated, looking at her with a calm visage. "I understand this, but you need to regain your strength: demon or not, our bodies are not completely impervious to fatigue. You're going to be traveling again once your friends wake up, and you mustn't allow yourself to be weakened by your current condition. Eat."
"I have no appetite," she retorted, leaning away from the food he was thrusting at her. "Leave me alone."
"Do you still not understand that you're making people worry?" the man finally snapped. "Everyone is worried about you!"
"I don't care!" Rue finally spat, abruptly getting to her feet and clenching her fists without looking at him. "Go back to the camp and get the hell away me! Can't you take the hint that I don't want to talk to you?!"
So saying, she stormed away... but the girl didn't get very far. Without warning, Reiji gripped her wrist and attempted to jerk her around, but instead she lost her balance and fell on her butt. The shock of hitting the dirt made her spine shudder; teeth jarring from the impact, her fangs clipped like a pair of pruning shears made of bone. For a long moment, she merely blinked in stupefied confusion.
"Just because I've apologized and genuinely regret what I've done to you," Reiji stated dangerously, clutching the girl's white hair and jerking her head back, "does not mean I will tolerate you talking to me like that. I am the last surviving member of the Shibuya clan: you should at the very least show me a modicum of respect."
The moment he said it, disgust swept through her, hot and heavy.
Lifting her eyes, Rue Thompson glared with so much ferocity that he actually let go of her hair and stepped away, looking startled. Then, before she could stop them, words came pouring out of her mouth like acid.
"You want my respect?" Rue sneered, getting to her feet and glaring like a tower of bad temper. "Earn it. As of right now, you have none of it."
When she glared, folding her arms, his eye narrowed... turning into a slit of angry green set in pale skin. In the dim light, they almost seemed to glow like a wild animal's.
She could feel the heat of his fury.
"How?" he growled; perplexity momentarily flashed behind her own irises. "What must I do to gain it?"
After he asked, her face twitched.
"For starters," she muttered, finally firmly glaring into his eye, "I hate violence. If you want my respect, stop resorting to it for everything. For another... you know nothing about me. So stop judging me based on my looks and what I am. If you want me to respect you, show me you're someone I can actually give it to."
"What?" he waspishly snorted, smirking in contempt. "You're a strange one! In this world, only the violent survive."
Her resulting frown could have made a tiger piss itself, but he kept the smirk up anyway. He noticed that her eyes shone slightly in the dark, a glimmer of golden light glowing like beacons in a raging sea as she stared at him coldly. Then she turned around and left him standing alone in the dark, a shadow in the gloom.
"I'll leave you to figure out what you want to do," she told him, walking away with a stiff back. "As it stands, I have nothing more to say to you."
"Fine," he barked, swiveling around and heading back towards the camp. "Do as you please!"
Stalking through the woods, Reiji paced in circles for about ten minutes trying to get rid of his irritation: he grumbled about her attitude and kicked a few things until something met his ears. Almost instantly, his eyes went blank and he stilled, anger momentarily forgotten.
Right around that moment, someone walked into view from around a tree.
Reiji blinked when he found himself staring at Inuyasha.
"Oi, Lizard Boy," the half-demon quietly asked, giving him a very reserved expression. "Got a minute?"
"I'm a little busy," the redhead retorted, feeling distinctly annoyed. "What do you want?"
Inuyasha's yellow eyes darkened.
After a moment, he closed them, taking a very deep breath through his nose.
"I wanna know what you two were just talkin' about," he retorted. "Tell me everything. Now."
"That's none of your business," Reiji stiffly explained, moodily glaring at him.
"Oh, but I get the feeling that it is my business," Inuyasha stated in a pleasant tone of voice; however, his eyes were very sharp and he looked angry despite his manner of speaking. "And if it isn't, then I'm making it my business. I wanna know what you two did or talked about after you left camp. Spill it."
"Back off, Mutt! Go pine after Kikyo," Reiji snapped, turning on him. "This has nothing to do with you!"
Inuyasha stared at him so angrily that Reiji's claws twitched, glowing green with acid.
"First of all... never mention Kikyo like that in front of me," the silver-haired demon said in a dangerously quiet tone of voice. "Ever. Do you understand? Second, this situation has everything to do with me, because Kagome has been worrying herself sick over Miharu. She has a fever because of the stress."
Reiji's brows raised.
"What makes you think you have the right to order me around?" he demanded, sneering at him. "You may think you're strong, Inuyasha... but that strength isn't your own. It's that sword's strength. By yourself, you're weaker than I, and without the Tessaiga, I could best you. Who the hell do you think you are?"
"I'm Miharu's friend," Inuyasha snorted, tilting his head back in a cocky manner. "And sword or no sword, I have no doubt I could kill you. If Miharu managed to take your eye before her abilities even started showing up, you're weaker than I am: my eye would have healed right away, but yours is still blind."
"Dragon demons are different than dog demons," Reiji told him firmly, grinning and revealing his fangs; so saying, he pulled his sword out and cut his hand open along the palm, holding it face down. Inuyasha twitched and watched as a waterfall of blood gushed out of the wound... but then, within seconds, it closed up and healed without even a scar. "See? A wound like that would take you an entire three days."
"How?" the silver-haired boy growled, shoulders tensing. "I don't understand!"
"We have incredible regenerative powers, but our weak points happen to be our eyes, Inuyasha," Reiji snarled, all pleasantness finally burning away. "In the old days, humans would hunt us down simply to kill us and pluck our eyes out of our heads. Our eyes are vulnerable, since they have no regenerative powers, but at the same time... they can heal any illness or injury, period."
"Even if that's the case, scars never go away... even those on the face of history," Inuyasha retorted, glaring at him with an unaffected visage. "The past can never be changed... but we can and do have control over the future, and that's why I'll only say this once."
Then, with a shocking amount of force, he snatched the front of Reiji's armor and dragged him close.
"If you continue hurting Rue, in any manner, and end up making Kagome worry even more," the half-demon warned in a threatening tone, "you'll answer to my Tessaiga, you nasty snake."
With that, the boy shoved the redhead back a step and pointedly walked away without another word, leaving Reiji standing in shock. Right around that moment, a voice wafted into the clearing.
A smooth, velvety song was being carried on the wind.
Lyrics spoken in a strange language mingled with a haunting tune that came floating through the air like liquid silver. Eyes vacant with shock, Reiji slowly turned his head and listened... and soon, goosebumps began rising up on his arms. Deep and gentle, yet strangely light... the hauntingly beautiful song echoed out over the forest, carrying towards the camp.
"Ever on and on I continue circling... with nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony, till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing, and suddenly I see that I can't break free," the voice hummed, ripping the air. "I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity... with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am, who I was. Uncertainty's enveloping my mind, and I can't break free."
Rue.
Her voice rose and fell in wavering octaves, like waves upon a disturbed pond. It was almost as if it had become the very wind itself, meshing with it and twisting throughout the world. Her voice wasn't very clear, but it was chilling and haunting... almost exactly like the voice of sea siren.
"Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real..." the voice sang, "but it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel. You can tell me what to say; you can tell me where to go... but I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know. If I make another move there'll be no more turning back! Because everything will change and it all will fade to black! Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay, or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell. Did I ever even know?"
The last note died off with a small break, and after that, there was only the sound of the wind in the trees.
Not long after, the sun began to rise... and everyone began to stir.