Voice of a smile

Clouds advancing towards the Gloomy Valley…

Touko put down the pen, cleaning her tearful eyes.

Noooooo. Just... no.

That was even worse than the previous attempt… it looked like Syo's mocking phrases. The writer frowned, dumping it in the bin with all the other half-written pages. She had every reason to feel sour. It was February 28th, deadline oncoming, birthday approaching and a feeling of utter dread froze her spine and chest together. She now wanted to dump the whole day into oblivion and feel free to bawl her eyes out.

But there were deadlines to be met. Schemes to be woven. She morosely restarted work, aware that she would regret it later if she dared to neglect her work…

She sighed. And to think the day had begun with a bright sun and good premises.

The grey-eyed Writer had taken the habit, on the past three months, of bathing thoroughly, and she felt so good and clean, she had also started to sing quite loudly. She could never sing in a concert hall, she thought, but she agreed that happiness made her voice lighter and sweeter, less whiny and screechy. Togami himself had made some scathing remarks that Touko, as usual, took as compliments and encouragement to sing even more.

And on that particular day, Togami was too busy to pay anyone a second glance, yet had looked at her twice. More than enough to give her a morale boost and something to be happy for.

Most of the day, he had to answer call after call. His brow creased with every ring, until he was heard to mutter rather darkly every time he picked the phone. He leaned back on his desk, clearly annoyed for not being able to keep with the flow of the class in front of him.

"I'll borrow your notes, Fukawa. Make sure to make them clear. Think you're writing a meeting briefing to me…"

She giggled, delighted with the task. How does one write a meeting briefing? She would look it up later, but that would mean… alone time with her White Knight… So far, so good!

Everything had been oh so promising.

Alas, all dreams have to come to an end… just as the chime -signaling the end of classes for the day- echoed in the corridors.

*/*

Horrified eyes. Terrified pupils. Touko's petrified stare fixed at the end of the lockers row. Byakuya Togami was standing, his hand holding the locker open, staring at… Sayaka Maizono?!

"How much?" he asked bluntly.

"I-I'm afraid I… don't understand, Togami-kun…"

"Don't you dare play dumber than you already are, Maizono. Name the price and I'll pay it" Byakuya replied harshly. "I won't tolerate any blunders that may affect me and my career... Just speak up, I need the exact figure. In yens, in dollars… it doesn't matter, I can handle the conversion."

"Uh… I'll have to consult with my manager and his lawyer…"

"Good. You make your preparations and I'll hand out the money. And not a word to anyone. I don't want this to be known, I have a reputation to maintain"

"I-I'm very grateful… Togami-kun!"

"Don't be. Just leave already, the walls have ears…"

No no no no no no no NO!

They were making out… and Sayaka had a… his… no… no… Not her White Knight and that... idol… Not after they had been so close in the pool!

Those calls were from the Togami group… for him to settle matters and fix the issue with money!

Damn it, she beat me to Byakuya-sama's bed!

She entered the locker room, her lip trembling. Byakuya eyed her with the corner of his eye.

"What's with you… If you're catching a cold, just stay away from me, I don't want her to come out…"

"N-no" Tears welling out of her eyes, Touko found courage to ask him. "Byakuya-sama…. Do you w-want me to sing?"

Togami's face distorted into a grimace of profound distaste. "If you sing anywhere close to Syo's bleats… the reply is no. And I really prefer classic music, the kind without lyrics…"

Then why… did you get to… bed her?! That's h-her only talent! The words kept stuck in her throat. Tears rolled down her eyes and she sobbed. Byakuya turned full circle and stared at her somewhat cooly, a big silent question in his blue eyes…

"Ah.. uh-uh-uuuh… I s-see…" she voiced lamely, her frame shaking with the effort to hold the truth from coming out.

"Fukawa."

She turned, her eyes misty from the tears.

"If you really want to sing… then why don't you go enter the Matsuri trials. Don't go by what I think about Syo's singing, if you want to prove me that you can sing, go and win the trials. I'll accept the outcome if you top all the others."

Fukawa's face lit with happiness "Of course… i-I'll do my best, Byakuya-sama! I-"

Byakuya raised a hand to stop her budding lovesick rant. "Just keep in mind Maizono will be on them, so think well if you want to enter"

Deflated… interest. Maizono, Maizono, always Maizono… "N-no… Perhaps it's b-better if Byakuya-sama… never gets to hear my b-bleats. I'll go sing in the… shower if I feel like it" She turned and took her leave, only to hear his snort from behind.

"You sure like giving up, do you… I have no use for quitters, you know…"

"I know it" Touko's voice was extremely steady, despite the fact that she was shaking. "Never mind… I'll think if I… want to enter the trials myself, Byakuya-sama. Thanks for th-the encouragement"

Byakuya heaved a sigh. He apparently thought she was entering her period or something that made her edgy. "Suit yourself. Though it will be a pity not seeing you in the Matsuri"

So cold. So utterly, bitterly cold. She couldn't handle it. Touko turned tail and ran to the corridor, biting her tears.

I've lost him. I'm not an idol who can conquest the world. I cannot win like he wants me to, I'm not a warrior, I write novels… Syo's a warrior but I can't entrust Byakuya-sama to her… Who- who am I kidding? He's gone forever… Syo'll come out and… he'll be gone…

She spent the following half of the day in her room, crying. It was February 28th. In three days, precisely on her birthday, the school was hosting a Hinamatsuri festival, complete with concert. All the excitement and the noise, so alien to a recluse like her, added to her growing sadness.

She could feel Syo stirring inside her, her anger ferocious, she hadn't felt something similar since she had enrolled in Hope's Peak. But strangely, Touko couldn't bring herself to hate Byakuya. She kind of understood the situation… she wasn't probably too good for him… too plain… something about her wasn't right.

Yet he had cheated on her, hadn't he? He had raised her hopes just as all the other guys, she had all the right to hate him, to want him hurt, dead…

But he had never promised anything. He had never made her feel special, even when he helped her release the novel, he was acting to his convenience. He was as cold and indifferent towards her as ever. True, they had been close together, and he allowed her to trail behind him. But what else?

The Super High School Level Writer bit her finger in rage. Mustering serenity in her troubled heart was difficult, but she felt she had to be grateful for all those months of happiness. Did she imagine, even for a second, that he'd choose her over all others?

She picked her resolve. No matter how much it hurt, Touko Fukawa wouldn't allow herself to be seen as a quitter. If she was going to bid goodbye to Togami, it would be with her head held high.

Even getting into an argument with Leon, who also wanted to enter the trials, the auburn-haired writer found the courage to apply to the voice tests. She had to bite her tongue as Sayaka greeted her warmly, wondering why she had applied.

"It's not like you, Fukawa-chan! I never knew you liked singing!"

"W-why are you so surprised, it's almost as if you d-didn't want me to! I-it's something I just wanted to do now, nothing special" she mused, biting her lip to bleeding.

"Sorry… Did I say something that hurt you?"

"Just leave me be, pop idol… g-go seduce someone as you usually do.."

*/*

"Hey, Fukawa-chan!"

Again that idol. Didn't she ask her to go elsewhere?

"Togami-kun told me he's waiting for you in the library" She smirked brightly, as Fukawa's frown evoked a stormy sky. "Ah, and he also said that he will strangle you if he has to wait for too long"

Stand tall and proud, Touko Fukawa. This is the end of it. Show him you can't care less…

She muttered that to herself as she half-ran to the library, dead sure to keep her resolve. Yet, at the sight of the usual pissed-off, stern, handsome features of Togami's face, she melted once again like fresh butter under the sun.

"Y-you c-c-called me, Byakuya-sama?" she stammered.

"About time you came, didn't that no-brains idol tell you I hate to wait?"

"Uhm-ah… she did" Fukawa frowned at the mention "My apologies."

Byakuya shook an envelope under the writer's nose. "Any hint on what this can be?"

"N-no, no idea" she breathed. God, how could Togami's cold eyes feel like he was firing a laser through her?!

"The results of the concert trial. Apparently you didn't deafen half of the judges. Your bleating passed."

"I'm… not going to sing! I-I just did that to p-prove you I'm not a q-q-quitter!"

"Ahhh… so you intended to do that… just so that I won't be displeased… Well, if you don't go to the concert, I'll think you are a quitter and a loser and a freak and a disgusting-nasty—smelly—dirty-little—eyesore—who deserves to- die…"

With every pause, Togami stepped forward menacingly, his eyes flashing, pushing Fukawa further and further back until she felt a bookshelf poke her spine. He was so close she could almost lose track of her own smell into his.

"Wh-what do you in-in-intend me t-to do?" she stammered.

"To finish what you begun, of course, you irresponsible fishbucket" he snapped. "Do you think I appreciate 'trying'? I only am satisfied with 'accomplishing'. I don't care if you sing 'Mary had a little lamb' or if you deafen the crowd just by saying hello. I care that if I'm followed by such a disgusting being, at least let her be a smelly sewer with some backbone"

Touko tried hard to bite the negative that was going to burst out of her mouth. "I will d-do so. And worry not… this smelly b-bucket will never chase your back anymore…"

"Suit yourself, I cannot care less. And you better be there, Fukawa. I have placed a hefty bet on you being there. Don't dare make me lose my pocket money if you won't have enough to repay me…"

She nodded, as he backed away from her, his nose raised, his stance arrogant and haughty. Touko knew very well that her White Knight was a no-nonsense young scion, but the indifference with which he declared he had placed a bet on her going to the Matsuri hit her and lowered her spirits even more. After Togami left with a loud bang, several minutes passed for her to pick her resolve and slouch to the corridor.

He had bet his money to see her in the scenario. He would have a baby with Maizono. In all of that, Touko Fukawa was but a mere chess piece in the Scion's board. Even in her birthday, she was nothing but his amusement. The sad part, she concluded while nesting herself in her bed, was that she never wanted it otherwise.

*/*/*/*/*

It was a somber, thunderous, angry beyond measure Fukawa the one who stormed into the backstage, looking flustered to no end. She had seen Togami talking to Maizono AGAIN and not just once – they met at walkie-talkie request at least three times while her makeup was being applied, her hair pinned and her mic tuned.

Honest to god, what a whoresome goldigger. Would you look at Togami's face, poor thing… of course, he was funding her concert inside the school, but that was borderline ridiculous. It was clear that she was looking for him, and not the other way round. She could bear to have hell breaking loose in her birthday – after all, who had ever cared… - but annoying Byakuya-sama was a completely different matter. Ah, the damn idol would HAVE to listen to her.

"Oh, Fukawa-chan! Here's your dress gown and those are yor shoes!"

Touko eyed critically the very simple bishop purple dress with matching flats, an elegant version of her fuku. She snorted and put it up the hanger. That wasn't her style.

"Oh no, please try it on, we'll be starting your styling for the show with this" she stated, picking the dress from the hanger where Fukawa had left it. "This was a dress Togami-kun suggested you should use."

A confused Touko stared blankly, before grabbing it from the idol and rushed to hide behind a screener to try it on.

"Do I have to look like an easy woman i-in front of all th-the school?" she mumbled, staring at her reflection in the backstage mirror.

"Easy woman?"

"Like y-you, for instance"

"ME? But I don't really… I wouldn't use-"

"I-I mean ,j-just l- look at you, floating beyond the line of decency!"

Maizono looked confused "I-I'm afraid you have gotten the wrong idea, Touko-chan…"

"The wrong idea? Me? Are you taking me for someone as dim-witted as you? I've had enough o-of your be-be-belittling!" Fukawa finally and dramatically busted dams, walking menacingly towards Maizono and making her retreat to the edge of the scenario.

"You a-and your idol purity p-pretense… you gave y-your everything to Byakuya-sama… now y-you want him to give y-you money for the kid… y-you have his- you n-nasty, f-filthy, disgust-ting little-"

She began to hyperventilate. One look at Sayaka's very puzzled face told he she understood almost nothing. The gap of silence grew overwhelming.

But there and then, the pop idol walked towards the writer and held her by her shoulders, grinning.

"Fukawa-chan, I think it's finally time for me to sort out the confusion!"

"W.-what do you mean?"

Sayaka widened her grin. "Um… Well, Togami-kun came over to me about one month ago. He said he was bored and willing to spend some pocket money on a pet project." Her smile widened "He says it came to him when he heard someone sing in the shower while he strode across the aisle every morning…"

Fukawa clamped her two hands over her mouth.

" Togami-kun was adamant in securing my cooperation and made sure that everything was perfect. Kirigiri's father needs the funds, you know… so he agreed to pay the expenses for my group to come and perform a concert in the school –– if I agreed to a certain date he wanted."

"N-no way - he wouldn't… he didn't…"

"Yes indeed!" Sayaka finally let out a laugh. "We have spent the last two months perfecting it, and we communicated by text message mostly. You see… we were both busy, and he always stressed he wanted to keep it a secret…"

As she spoke, Sayaka Maizono stepped away from her, walking backwards towards the scenario, while a loud chorus of what seemed the whole school and several other guests broke into singing "Happy Birthday". As the crowd cheered her, calling her name, the blue-haired idol clapped too, beckoning Fukawa forward. She was frozen. Thankfully, Leon wasn't too far away from backstage and pushed her – not too gracefully - forward to mid-stage.

Fukawa's eyes were wide open, but it all seemed like a dream. There she was. In the spotlight. Alongside the idols. Was that being popular… was that having friends?

Maizono beamed once more at her and began singing I Love your Smile in a cutesy English. The song, the lyrics so applied to her.

Time came and showed me your direction
Now I know I'll never ever go back
Taught me that
I can be a better girl

With the love you give
You rock my world
Smile!

With a confidence unbeknownst to her, she walked briskly to the center of the stage and took the second mic Sayaka handed her. Despite not being your average teen, Touko liked some tunes, and could be heard humming when in a real good mood. Togami had noticed… Togami had heard her sing this one in the shower… And to the general awe, once she started to sing energetically, it turned out she had a beautiful voice to boot. She was no Maizono, but she could sure hold her own brilliantly beside her.

Presenting a book wasn't this nice. There would be fans, but all of them felt like strangers, and she always felt weak and dizzy after a book release. This was different. She was surrounded by her friends, and beamed upon by her One and Only.

As she sang, she looked to the crowd, looking confused and happy at the same time. It wasn't difficult to spot, amid the crowd, a certain blond head, raised in the peculiar, arrogant fashion she had come to love so much. The eyes were blue and cold as ever, but Fukawa didn't miss his smile. Not a smirk, not a grimace, not just an upper lip corner twitch. He was smiling at her - composed, calm, with a beam of warmth she hadn't seen in him before. Being taller than the average, his gesture was hidden to most, but Touko knew it was intended to be.

I do, I love your smile
Oh yes I do boy
I love your smile
I love your smile, baby
Heyyy… I love your smile…I really do!

At some point, Byakuya's eyelids closed, his arms folded, yet his smile didn't fade for an instant. He reopened them soon enough to rejoice in the moment. He was proud of her newfound confidence and talent. Sure, he had bought it to light, but she already had it in her to be bright and cheerful.

She only needed a little push to break her shell of gloom and she was now a jewel - beautiful, sparkly, brimming with joy. That, he concluded, was all he needed in return for his pocket money.

((HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOUKO BABY!))