This story is part of my request series All About Harry. Do you want to make a request? Look at my bio page for info.
Harry Potter searched for any blood family he might have and on his mother's side he discovered the Hofstadter. Now he is in America for work and takes the opportunity to spend some time with his cousin Leonard, and as a result the other guys.
I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter or anything else that you might recognise
The Improbable Cousin
Words: 4 824
It was about eight thirty in the evening, a completely normal Tuesday. Sheldon and Leonard had eaten at the Cheesecake Factory together with Howard and Raj, after which they had simply returned home to do some work and relax.
Sheldon was sitting in his spot in front of the TV while Leonard was using his scheduled time in the bathroom to take a shower when someone knocked on the apartment door.
With a sigh of exasperation Sheldon got up from his spot and opened the door, on the other side of it stood a man. The man reminded him oddly of Leonard, not that they looked much alike, at least not apart from the dark hair and glasses.
This guy was taller than Leonard, and absolutely more muscular. His hair was messy and drowsy green eyes were visible through the glasses. He was wearing a blue chequered shirt and tan trousers. All in all he didn't look like the sort of person who would come knocking on the door of two men working as physicists at a university. He looked more like a man who would knock on the door of their neighbour across the hall, Penny.
"Hello," Sheldon said. "Are you looking for Penny? She lives across the hall."
"What? No." The man's confusion was obvious. "I'm looking for Leonard Hofstadter. Does he live here?"
Sheldon noted that the man was speaking with an English accent. Interesting. He was also slurring a bit. Sheldon hoped it was because he was tired and not because he was intoxicated, he was never able to tell.
"He does," Sheldon told the man who blinked owlishly for a moment before speaking again.
"Is he here?"
"He is." Sheldon cast a quick glance over his shoulder and added, "technically he is in the shower."
"Could I come in?"
"I suppose you could." Sheldon remained standing in the doorway, making no sign that he was planning to move.
"Please, can I come in?"
"Oh." Sheldon moved out of the way and the stranger came inside, walking over to the couch and collapsing in (you guessed it) Sheldon's spot.
"No," Sheldon said looking levelly at the person who was now occupying his spot. "You can't sit there." He paused. "Or lie," he added quietly to himself.
"What?" the man asked, lifting his head from the armrest, looking at Sheldon quizzically.
"That's my spot."
"Your spot?"
"Yes. Am I speaking unclearly?"
"No, I was just unfamiliar with the concept that you can have a spot."
"Ah, good, then the fault isn't with me. Now, move!"
"Alright." The dark-haired man scooted over on the couch, leaving the seat to his left open; it didn't take long for Sheldon to sit down.
"I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself, it's just I've had a bad day, and I'm feeling beat. The Time difference is catching up to me. My name is Harry Potter, from England." When this statement got no reaction Harry continued. "I'm Leonard's cousin, second cousin if you want to be technical, and if I remember right you should be Sheldon." He held out his hand and stared as the gesture went ignored.
With another sigh of exasperation Sheldon got up and walked over to the kitchenette. He opened a cupboard and took out a cup.
"What are you doing?" Harry asked, eyebrow raised as he took in what his host was doing, thinking that he might have fallen asleep already and that this was a bizarre dream. Leonard had told him about his roommate, Harry hadn't quite believed his cousin and he was sorely unprepared for the meeting.
Sheldon turned around and said in a tone which clearly stated how redundant he thought the inquiry was. "You are a house guest."
"Yes." The Brit nodded
"And you are upset?"
"I suppose it could be classified as that, yes," Harry said, fighting against a yawn and loosing badly.
"When a guest is upset it's customary to offer them a hot beverage," Sheldon explained in a you-are supposed-to-know-this-tone. "Since you are English, I suppose you would like tea?"
Harry stared for a second before he smiled, deciding that if this was a dream then he could roll with it. "Tea would be lovely. Thank you"
"Alright."
"Sheldon, who are you talking to?" Leonard asked, coming out from the bathroom. He was wearing his old, red bathrobe, his hair wet and glasses still in his hand.
"Your cousin."
"My what?"
"Are you sure that I'm not speaking unclearly?" He asked in Harry's direction.
"I'm sure. It's us the fault lies with; unfamiliar concepts." Harry's tone wasn't condescending like; most people would be in a situation like this, Harry was simply used to strange and used to adapting quickly, he was also somewhat convinced that he was dreaming, but at Leonard's appearance those thoughts were getting less credible.
"Ah. Good."
"Hey, Leo," Harry said softly.
Leonard had put on his glasses now and he looked at Harry with wide eyes. "Harry, is that you?"
The other man nodded. "It's me alright."
Leonard smiled, although he was puzzled to see his cousin there. He had not expected to see him anytime soon, and certainly not in his own apartment. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in two years!"
"I'm hiding," Harry said as if that explained it all.
"You are left alone with Sheldon for, what? Ten minutes? And already you're talking like him?" Leonard asked incredulously.
"Sorry, Leo. I'm just so tired," Harry excused himself with a sheepish smile. "I'm in California for a meeting and I was mobbed by my… ehum… fans," the last words were said with in an irritable grumble. "I changed hotel three times and they kept following and I had to get away. I remembered that you lived not far from LA and I came here. Would it be too much trouble if I crashed here for a few days?"
"No, not at all."
"Yes." Leonard and Sheldon said at the same time.
They turned to look at each other. "Sheldon, a moment please," Leonard requested, walking towards their bedrooms.
"What?"
"Just come here!"
"Fine!" Sheldon said, raising his hands in surrender and followed Leonard into the small hallway outside their bedrooms.
"Leonard, you know the rules," Sheldon began matter-of-factly. "If you want a house guest to stay here for more than two nights, you have to fill in the apartment-guest-form and give it to me at least thirty-six hours in advance."
"But Harry is the only living relative I have who likes me!"
"Inconsequential."
"Sheldon!"
"I can leave if this causes a problem," Harry piped in and yawned again. "I'm sure I can find somewhere else to stay."
"No, that's not necessary."
"Yes, please."
"Sheldon, come on!" Leonard was beginning to feel exasperated, a feeling he supposed he should get used to after living with Sheldon for as many years as he had. "One time you had a guy staying here just so you could keep a lie from Penny! And you didn't give me any notice in advance!"
"Hey, it's funny that you should bring that up," Sheldon said ignoring the point Leonard was trying to make. "Toby Loberfelt pretended to be my cousin Leopold, called Leo and now I find out that your cousin calls you, Leo." Sheldon was quiet for a short moment, before he gave a small laugh, all the while Harry and Leonard just stared at him, waiting for him to be done.
"Whatever. I can allow my cousin to stay here for a few days."
"Alright," Sheldon conceded, finishing the preparation of the tea he had been making for Harry. He brought the cup to the Englishman. "Here's your tea."
"Thank you, Sheldon. I'm grateful that you're letting me stay. If there's something I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
"I doubt that there is anything you could do for me," the theoretical physicist said condescendingly.
"I'd not be so quick about saying that," Leonard cautioned.
"Why?"
"Harry has a lot of contacts, he could probably arrange a meeting with anyone for you, not to mention, he's loaded."
"Did we really have to bring that up?" Harry whined, he was tired and he didn't want to dwell on his fame or fortune right now, especially since the later was a large part of the reason for why he was tired in the first place.
"Well, it's true. And at least I didn't bring up, you-know-what."
"I-know-what?" Sheldon asked.
"Nothing!" Harry and Leonard both said hurriedly.
"It doesn't sound like nothing."
"Ehum…" Harry was trying to figure out what to say. You-know-what was the fact that he was a wizard, something Sheldon was not supposed to find out about. Leonard hadn't been supposed to find out either, but Harry had chosen to tell him once they became friends.
After the war he had searched for more living family. He didn't have much hope for the Dursleys, although he and Dudley were at least cordial now days, and he wanted family to be present at his wedding to Ginny.
With the help of Hermione, as always, Harry had tracked down the family he had on his mother's side and he had found the Hofstadters.
His maternal Grandmother had an older brother who was Leonard's paternal grandfather. As Leonard was the one closest to his age they had connected and become friends, dubbing each other their favourite relative, through the title had been changed to favourite cousin once Harry married and his first son.
Harry sighed and launched onto his money to distract his cousin's flat mate. "I come from an old family so I inherited a lot of money that's all."
"A lot? Harry you're probably on the top-ten-list of richest people in the UK."
"That's an exaggeration, but never mind… If you are aware of that I have more than enough to spare, why won't you allow me to give any money to your university? Your siblings sure didn't have any trouble accepting money."
That did manage to distract Sheldon. "Leonard, I'm shocked by you!" he said in outraged tone. "You've refused funding! I could have used that money to make important contributions to science!"
"Sheldon, I can't take money from my cousin!"
"Sure you can. He's offering. All you have to say is; yes, Harry on behalf of the University of Pasadena I accept the donation to the theoretical physics department."
Leonard frowned. "I work with experimental physics."
"I know, but don't you think your cousin should invest in an important field?"
"My work is important!"
"Can you please stop that?" Harry pleaded, the bickering was making his head hurt. "I'll donate enough money so that you don't have to fight over it. God knows I have enough so that generations of my children will never have to work a single day in their lives, and frankly Leonard I had planned to do it with or without your consent eventually. You deserve the money, just as much all the other organizations I've donated to."
"Harry you don't need to-"
"I have money; let me spend it on my family."
A slightly awkward silence descended over the room, though only two of the three occupants noticed the change in atmosphere.
"Would you mind if I went to bed now? I'm really tired," Harry said, draining his tea cup and getting up from the couch. "Can I sleep in your room, Leonard?"
"Yeah, sure."
"But, Leonard," Sheldon protested, "there is only one bed in your room, and there is no room to put another one in, not to mention we don't have anything other to put in and Harry didn't bring anything either."
"We'll fix it," Leonard assured.
"But-"
"Would you prefer it, if he slept on the couch?"
"No," Sheldon said in abject horror.
"Then why are you protesting?"
"Good night, Harry," Sheldon said with a smile, no longer having any objections.
"Good night, Sheldon, c'ya in the morning."
Leonard led his cousin into his bedroom. "So why are you really here, Harry?"
"No offence, mate, but you Americans are nuts! I'm here for an International Auror Conference and I was swarmed by girls; hysterical-teenage-fan-girls," he specified. "The war was ten years ago! I'm not used to this sort of thing. Back home people were reverent and in awe, sure, but the hype has died down."
Leonard smirked; his cousin's life was so very different from his own. While he had trouble finding girls, Harry was swarmed by them. And while he had lived a quiet life, Harry had, had enough excitement to last several lifetimes.
"I think you can blame it on that book that came out last year. I believe it spread your story to the whole world."
"Yeah, I guess," Harry nodded. "Spreading it in a vastly exaggerated version where I'm painted out to be the perfect heartthrob." He sighed, sitting down on Leonard's bed. "I feel like I'm involuntarily turning into Lockhart," he muttered, shaking his head. He looked up and addressed his cousin again. "I'm sorry for appearing like this, but I was getting desperate. Ginny would be laughing at me, saying that I can hunt down the bad guys but flee at a few adolescent girls."
"But she'd be secretly happy that you're not interested, right?"
"Right," Harry chuckled weakly.
"How's she? And Jamie and Al?"
"She's good, so are the kids. I did tell you Ginny was expecting again, didn't I?"
Leonard shook his head. No, Harry hadn't told him that.
"Our third will be born in three months."
"Wow! Sometimes I have a hard time believing that you are younger than me."
"Only by two months, Leo." Harry yawned hugely. "How about you? Have any girls in your life? Will you ever have any kids?"
Leonard avoided eye contact, fidgeting.
"I'll take that as a no?"
"So how long will you be here for?" Leonard changed the subject, Harry giving him a look that said 'we'll talk later', but didn't push.
"The conference runs till Friday, but I can leave Sunday night, so that we'll have time to hang out for a bit."
"Sounds great. So, how will you do this?" He gestured vaguely around the room.
"I've managed to learn a bit more about extension charms, I think I could manage to add an extra room, but for tonight I'll just transfigure a bed, I'm too tired to do any good work. If I tried I'm afraid it would implode sometime during the night."
"Okay, I'll just let you get some rest. It's good to see you." Leonard initiated a slightly awkward hug, that Harry soon made bone crushing. "H-arry, ca-an't br-eath."
"Sorry." Harry let go with a sheepish smile.
"Are you really planning to donate money to the University?"
"Of course."
"I can't let you do that, Harry. My research is useless. Physics is useless, magic nullifies everything we know about the universe."
"But you said to Sheldon just now that your work is important."
"That was just to defend it from him, he is always picking at what I do, but he's right. All of it is meaningless."
Harry sighed. "We've been over this before, Leo. I even had you talking with Hermione. Your work is important and it does apply, magic is a force all of its own. As far as wizards have been able to tell physics still apply, just not for things with magic."
"And how are we supposed to know which is what? When does physics become magic?"
"I don't know. We don't know. We have people who research these things just as you do. But know that your work is important. Any discoveries you make add to our knowledge and every bit counts."
"Thanks."
"I'm just telling the truth. If Hermione says its true than it is."
Leonard smiled. "I suppose I'll have to concede."
"Too right."
E=mc2
Leonard woke in the morning and went out into the living room; drawn there by a wonderful smell which wafted through the apartment.
"Morning, Leo!"
"Morning…"
Leonard took in the sight of Harry who was standing by the stove, cooking what looked to be a full English breakfast. It was with something akin to awe that Leonard took it all in. He knew that they had not had all that food at home, which meant that Harry must have gone shopping.
His cousin was waving his wand, eggs cracking themselves, frying in the pan, plates flying through the air, and the used items where washing themselves in the sink.
Leonard cast a glance over his shoulder, making sure that Sheldon wasn't up yet.
"That smells amazing," he told his cousin, "but you know you didn't have to do that, right?"
"It's no trouble. Cooking for three is a vacation and getting to do it without having to break up four fights and comfort a crying two year old and a pregnant woman at the same time makes it basically peace of cake."
"I'm saying it again; wow, I can't believe that you are younger than me!"
"Two months, mate, two months. I'll have to go right away though, the meeting will start early and I have a bad feeling about it. I just know Sweden and Norway will start fighting again."
"Sweden and Norway?" Leonard asked; surprised by the countries Harry mentioned.
"Yeah, the magical governments are not the same as the ordinary ones let me tell you. While the muggle nations came to an accord, the magical variations never did."
"Huh."
"Good morning, Sheldon!" Harry called out, and all signs of magic disappeared.
"Good morning," Sheldon, who had appeared, said, slightly taken aback by the cheerful greeting that the unexpected addition to their apartment gave him.
"I made breakfast, go ahead and eat, I've got to rush; Joakim Attfors, one of the Swedes, gets grumpy when people arrive late and we don't need him in a worse mode then he already is."
"See you later then."
Harry hurried out of the apartment, leaving a Leonard who was eyeing the food hungrily and a perplexed Sheldon.
"Your cousin is strange."
"You don't know the half of it," Leonard muttered, spearing a bit of bacon on his fork.
E=mc2
They guys; Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj were sitting at their usual table in the University's cafeteria.
"It's Halo Night, tonight," Sheldon said, smiling.
"We know," Howard said.
"Yeah well, I don't know if I want to play tonight," Leonard said.
"What? We always play Halo on Wednesdays!" Sheldon said looking horrified and perplexed at the very idea that Leonard might not be interested in Halo Night.
"But Harry's here, and he's only staying a week, I want to spend time with him."
"Not on Halo Night!"
"Harry?" Raj questioned.
"My cousin Harry showed up last night, he's in LA for some work stuff, he'll be here for the rest of the week and he asked if he could stay at our place."
"I didn't know you had a cousin Harry," Howard said.
"Well there are things you don't know about me."
"I thought all of your relatives hated you?" Raj piped in.
"That was growing up. I didn't meet Harry until I was twenty-one."
"Okay. So, what does he do?"
"That's kind of classified."
"Really? He's some sort of secret agent, James Bond, government person?" Howard asked, speaking in an English accent when he said James Bond.
Leonard looked away, muttering; "Sort of, and he's from England."
"No way! You've got a cousin who's a spy?"
"He's not a spy!"
"Then what is he?"
"It's classified; he'll have to tell him himself, I'm not sure what I'm allowed to say."
"So we can meet him?" Raj asked.
"Sure, it's more or less inevitable as he will be staying with me and Sheldon for the week."
"Leonard!"
The new voice made all of them look up. It was Harry, we was walking through the cafeteria, managing to look very out of place, even though he like many of the people there, had glasses, wore a shirt and jeans. He was moving in a different way than the scientists, much too agile to fit in.
"Harry?" Leonard questioned as Harry dragged a chair over to their table and sat down. "What are you doing here?"
Harry shook his head, a tired smile adorning his face. "We had to take a break. Attfors got into a fight with Bjørgen, on of the Norwegian representatives. They actually came to blows and that is saying something." He gave Leonard a look, which Leonard knew to interpret as: wizards don't do that, they would have fought with magic, that they took to their fist means that they were, really, really angry. "It was decided that we would continue tomorrow, so I have the afternoon free, and came here. Could I hang out here, or will I get in the way?"
"Oh, I'm actually sort of busy, but I'm sure one of these guys would love to let you hang around them. You already know Sheldon, this is Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali."
"Harry," Sheldon interrupted just as the Howard was about to shake hands with Harry, he received a glare from the engineer, which he didn't even notice.
"Yes, Sheldon?" Harry indulged.
"Wednesdays are Halo Night," he said.
"Okay." Harry gave the other three a questioning glance, Leonard only shook his head. "So, why are you telling me this?"
"You need to be four people to play Halo in teams."
"Alright. And why is this an issue?"
"Because of you, Leonard doesn't want to play! And then we'll only be three!"
"Sheldon, stop whining!" Leonard snapped.
"I'd hate to be the one to break you up," Harry said. "I can watch you play or something, we'll still be hanging out."
"Leonard."
"Yes, Sheldon?"
"I'm starting to like your cousin. Can you make spaghetti with little cut up hotdogs?"
Howard and Raj stared, turning to Leonard for an explanation.
"Harry made us breakfast, someone was apparently impressed."
E=mc2
On Thursday night Penny was walking out into the stairwell, carrying a basket full of dirty laundry when the door to the apartment across the hall was opened, with a small groan she prepared herself to see Leonard which would be awkward. Things had been slightly strained between them since they tried to date.
Leonard did indeed show up and he froze like a deer caught in the headlights when he saw her.
"Hi," he said awkwardly.
"Hey," she responded in the same tone, then she noticed that Leonard wasn't alone, and it wasn't Sheldon nor was it Howard or Raj who was with him. It was a man around the same age as Leonard. And he was good looking, slightly geeky with his glasses, she supposed it was only to be expected as he was with Leonard, but with a second glance Penny concluded that the geek level was far from that of the guys, she might even go so far as saying light-years away, because he was hot. For one he was taller than Leonard, his hair was messy in a sexy way, his eyes which she could see even from this distance were sparkling green and the jeans jacket couldn't hide his muscular frame.
"Leonard?" The man said and when Penny heard his voice she felt certain that the man would have to fight of women with a stick. He had a nice tenor that was slightly husky, and he spoke with an English accent.
"Harry, this is Penny she lives across the hall. Penny this is my cousin Harry from England."
"Pleasure," Harry said offering his hand.
"Yeah, nice to meet you. So you're from England?"
"Yes. I live in London and grew up in Surry. I went to school in Scotland though."
"Oh." Penny nodded, as if she knew everything about English geography. "So you're here to visit Leonard?"
"I'm in LA for the job so I thought I should hang out with my favourite cousin."
"That's nice."
"Well it was nice to meet you Penny."
"You too."
"Should we go?"
"Yeah."
Harry moved down the stairs, Leonard and Penny trailing after.
"So, Harry?" Penny started, questioning Leonard in a tone that suggested that she was interested.
Leonard noted her tone and had seen the way she looked at Harry and it was smugly that he said; "He's married."
"Why would you tell me that?"
"Please, you're practically drooling."
"I'm not!" She squeaked indignantly, but rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand never the less.
"Well, you can't have him; he's happily married and has two sons and one more on the way."'
Penny halted. "Wow! How old is he?"
"He's younger than me by two months."
"And I though I was a small town girl," she muttered. "Thank God for birth control."
E=mc2
Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard." Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard." Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard."
Leonard woke up to the sound of Sheldon knocking on his door.
"What is it Sheldon?" He asked, groaning.
"Can I come in?"
"No!"
Of course Sheldon entered anyway.
"What do you want?" Leonard asked turning on the lights, and putting on his glasses.
"I wanted to come in."
"Why did you want to come in? It's two am."
It was Saturday night, or Sunday morning depending on how you wanted to see it. It was only one day left until Harry would return back to England. The week had gone well. The International Auror Conference had ended on a positive note; they had accomplished what they set out to do, though relation between the two Scandinavian countries remained strained, no more fights had erupted between the Swedes and Norwegians.
Leonard had really enjoyed having his cousin there. Harry had fit in well with the group and he had managed to become Sheldon's hero four times over and surprisingly, or perhaps not so very surprisingly, Sheldon was even more obnoxious when dealing with someone he liked.
It had begun with Harry's cooking, which all of them had loved. It had continued when the notice of a large donation to the University was given during the Thursday.
The idolism grew further when Sheldon overheard Leonard and Harry talking about when they should meet next and decided that they should meet up in Switzerland where they would visit CERN. Harry said that he was sure he could get them access to whomever and whatever they wanted there. Harry had gone on to ask if he thought the guys would like to come. They had been alerted to Sheldon's presence when he erupted in a whoop of joy.
The final mark which brought Sheldon firmly into Harry's fan base was when the Englishman joined the physics department for paint ball on Saturday. Despite never having played the game before Harry brought them to victory.
Sheldon looked around the room. "Where's Harry?" there was a slight notion of worry in his tone, which was completely alien to it.
"Eh, he… he…" Leonard glanced at the extra door in his room, wondering what he was going to tell Sheldon. "He left early."
"It's two am."
"Yes."
"Harry is done with the Conference and he wasn't going back to England until tonight. And he would never leave without saying good bye."
"Eh…"
The door which shouldn't be in Leonard's bedroom opened, showing a bed rumpled Harry. "What's going on?" he asked, his accent more pronounced in his sleep-deprived state.
"Where did you come from?" Sheldon asked, staring.
When Harry noticed that it wasn't only his cousin there, he became more alert. "Shit," he muttered.
"Leonard told me you had left?"
Harry looked to the man who was still in his bed.
"It was the best I could come up with, Sheldon just barged in."
Harry nodded.
Sheldon walked past Harry, the now exposed wizard allowing him to do so, and entered the room that shouldn't bee there. He saw a room which was just as large as Leonard's bedroom, with a bed, a dresser, a desk and a door which when he opened it led to a bathroom.
Harry and Leonard stood in the doorway watching him as he explored.
"Harry?" Leonard whispered.
"Hmm?"
"You can't let him know."
"I know." Harry sighed. "I'll have to obliviate him."
"This is improbable!" Sheldon exclaimed, turning to the two cousins.
"Improbable?" Harry questioned, rubbing at his eyes. "I expected that if someone ever found out about this, the reaction would be; this is impossible! Not; this is improbable!"
"How did you do it?"
"Magic." Harry went over to the bedside table and picked up his wand, with a swish and flick he had Sheldon floating through the air.
"Holy Jesus!" the Texas born physicist cried out and promptly fainted.
Harry looked at Sheldon as he continued to float in the air, head hanging slack. "You think he'll remember this in the morning?"
"Maybe."
"You think he'll believe it?"
"No way."
The End
AN 16th Mars 2013 (9th October):
So I'm really enjoying The Big Bang Theory, I can safely say that it's one of my favourite shows, if not my favourite. It was a bit challenging writing the characters, but I had a lot of fun with it, and I think I did a decent job at it. As you might be able to tell this is HP-epilogue compliant and took place in 2008 which makes it season 2 of TBBT.
I think I must have forgotten what the prompt I was given half way through, but I don't think it matters much.
Just a side note, I hope all of you at least recognized the formula I used as section breaker E=mc2 If you don't… well Sheldon will condescendingly shake his head at you and say something degrading about the school system in your home country.
And then I have another side note about Sweden and Norway. I chose these countries being Swedish, it's just easier to make fun of things that are close to home (btw I don't want no fighting with Norway, love it and have gone there every summer for the last 5 years)
I don't think there will be any second part to this, but you never know…