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Cristina looked up from her patient. She felt Dr Bailey's tense gaze before she saw it. Something was up. They had a guy with a bull's horn in his torso on the table, who had survived severe tears to his aorta, spleen and a nick to the lungs. He had lived. The eight hour procedure involving three attendings, two residents and a bevy of interns had finally wrapped up. The surgeons were ecstatic, it was the best surgery they had performed since they had separated the adult 35 year old twins three years ago.

Cristina was thrilled. These were her moments, the ones she fought for. They kept her lucid. Though surprised that Bailey had even let her into the OR considering their spat the day before, she wasn't complaining. At the moment, she could have kissed her. Throughout the procedure, she heard the break in the Chief of Surgery's voice whenever she talked to her. It was like she was talking to a small child. She walked out of the OR, following her boss. She couldn't handle the sense of mystery any longer. "Okay, what is it? What are you hiding from me? Am I fired?" she asked, crossing her arms and looking Bailey in the eye. There it was again, the look. Wait a minute, Cristina thought. I know that look. I've seen it a lot three years ago, in the chapel, at work. This is what I got for a week before the stupid "She couldn't commit, she bailed out" thing started. Cristina could recognise that look in her sleep. Pity. She hated it. She had a physical impulse to hurt somebody when they gave her pity. But with Bailey, it was pity, with something else. "No, Dr Yang, you're not fired. Insubordination and lack of respect to your superiors will be the only complaints I will press against you for yesterday." Bailey sighed. "Its about your mother, Cristina." Startled, she asked "What about her? Did her MRI show up anything abnormal?" Last week, her mother had arrived promptly, unannounced, with her stepfather in tow. On her third day in Seattle, after dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant, she had complained of stomach cramps and vomiting. Cristina had thought it to be acidity and prescribed some antacids, but Mrs. Rubenstein had been insistent. "I need a second opinion. Who knows if you're right or not?" Biting back her response, Cristina got her admitted into Seattle Grace and had some tests done. Her schedule had not permitted her to visit her everyday, but she got her updates from Lexie, who was on the case.

"Cristina, the MRI showed a lump on her liver. We did a biopsy for confirmation. It's advanced liver cancer." Miranda said, worry written across her face. Cristina felt her knees wobble. She unconsciously looked for a place to sit, and the room swayed. Miranda shot out an arm and caught hold of her. "Yang, it's okay." Steadying herself, she tried to streamline her thoughts. "But, but the MRI results came out yesterday. Why didn't you tell me then? You knew something was wrong. Why today?" "We wanted to be sure of it's malignancy before scaring you off. The biopsy results came in this morning, so I'm telling you now." Bailey said, aware that she had broken protocol by not informing Cristina, but Mr Rubenstein had insisted.

"Is that why you wanted me to take today off?" Cristina asked. It was dawning on her that Bailey's anger at her 'insubordination' yesterday was actually concern. She had protested, saying she didn't need time off. She needed surgery. She needed to bring back somebody from the brink of death and witness them realizing that they had been reborn. And so she had yelled at Bailey, saying she was involved in the scheme to keep the surgery junkie out of the OR. She had insulted the only person who had fought for her. She sat down on the rim of the sink, staring at the floor. "How bad is it, Dr Bailey?" she asked. "Is she going to make it?" Miranda looked down at her frail, stubborn, loyal Chief Resident. "I'm sorry, Cristina, it's Stage III. She has weeks or months left. It has spread too far and affected her major organs. It's no use operating. And.." Cristina heard her diagnosis like a statue, motionless. "And?" she asked. "And her liver's been operated on before. She has had the cancer for a while and clearly a previous surgery did not cure it." Her eyebrows shot up. "What? That's impossible. She would have told me the moment she knew." she said. Unfortunately for Cristina, her mother told her everything. Every single nauseating little detail. Unless.. "Oh God!" Cristina groaned. Her mother had lied to her. When she had fought with her tooth and nail that day, she'd looked haggard and tired, defeated before the battle had even begun. She had lied to her to protect her. Cristina laughed aloud at the irony.

Miranda squinted at her, concerned. "Yang? Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm totally fine." she said, laughing loudly now. "Thirty years, for thirty years the woman tortures me by describing every aspect of her life, her house, her disappointment in me and this is the thing she decides to leave out. Every phone call or family dinner was about her wallpapers, her clients, how I didn't bring any boys home and this is what she wants to protect me from? Seriously? Seriously?" Cristina realized the last part had come out in a scream. She was no longer sitting down, she was pacing up and down the room around a visibly shaken Bailey.

She heard the door open and saw Meredith walk in, watching her carefully. So people could hear her outside now. Great! Shaking her head at Meredith, she chuckled ominously. "You! You knew, and you didn't tell me." Meredith glanced at Dr Bailey before stepping in front of Cristina. "I'm sorry. I wanted to be sure." Realizing that she was shaking with anger rather than shock, Cristina started to storm out of the room and go give her mother a piece of her mind. In an instant, Meredith caught her by her arms and Dr Bailey gripped her waist, anchoring her down. Surprised at the assault, she struggled against them. "What are you doing? Let me go!" "We thought you might do this." Meredith gasped. "Boy, you're as strong as an ox." "Yes, Yang, calm down. I know you want to scream at your mother but remember that she is a patient. It's not her fault that she's sick and dying." said Bailey, trying to grip the fumbling, struggling girl in her arms. "It's her fault she lied to me. Oh, she's going to get it big time.." Cristina screamed, still struggling. "She was worried about you, Cristina. You were.. you weren't yourself for a long time after.." Meredith fumbled, searching for words. Cristina stopped shoving them in the ribs and stood very still. "After what?" she asked. "After the.." Meredith shot an anxious glance at Dr Bailey, not sure if she should take that route. "After Burke left? I know. But she was there all the time, Meredith. A week every month. She cooked, cleaned, criticized every time only to come back again and she didn't find one second to tell me this? She lied to me." "She was worried, Cristina. You were a robot for the first few weeks, you know that. You hardly spoke, were always at the hospital, you even forgot to go home for a whole week once!" Meredith countered, still gripping her arms. "She was scared that it might make you lose hope." Incredulous, Cristina laughed. "Lose hope? I'm not losing hope. I'm fine, she can go ahead and die all she wants, I don't care." "Yang.."Dr Bailey said, holding her by the shoulder. "Yang.." "Seriously, she can go ahead and die, I don't give a damn. She lied, and now she expects me to save her? No way. I'm.." Cristina stopped, trying to breathe. Her throat was hurting. She couldn't ignore it. She felt her cheeks become wet with involuntary tears. Her mother was dying.

Since she was three, she had hated her. She had hated her for her recovering too quickly from her father's death. For getting married to a stranger. For never questioning her silence, her refusal to get to know her 'new dad'. For referring to her as 'emotionally stunted'. For never understanding that though she had moved on, Cristina was still grieving. And now she was leaving her too. Cristina sobbed, falling into Meredith's arms. "She can't do that, Mer. She can't leave me. She's all I have left." she said, the sobs racking her body. "No, Cristina, you have me. You have us." Meredith said, tyring to soothe her person. "And don't forget", said Bailey, "You have Ara. She's a miniature Mrs Rubenstein, all right.." Cristina smiled through the pain. True, she thought. She had Ara. Where Cristina hated her mother, Ara absolutely adored her. It was indeed unfair that she would know her for such a short time.