"Amore nihil mollius, nihil violentius"

For WhiteAngel128 & for those who lost their most beloved. I'm sure you know the feelings of it.

A warning before you start on this: there are disturbing content. M.

Tsuna's POV.

Inside a church of white marble, there are 3 children present, and each of them, singing the same song, wishing to be with another person.

They had a single wish-to be with the person that they love together, forever.

God granted the wish, but he foretold a prophecy to them that would happen. He warned that the wish would have dire consequences, but they were too stubborn and too little to understand.

Instead, he gave them a verse from the song they often sang in the church.

"Quand il me prend dans les bras
Il me parle tout bas
Je vois la vie en rose"

The 3 of them grew up each in very different ways, and soon forgot about it.

I think we met when I was 3. I was uncertain of the year, the date, time and etcetera, but I was certain we met at when I was 3. The church bells were tolling at that time, like today, when I stand by the church, or what used to be the church.

What stands in place is a building. A skyscraper made of glass and steel. Not the familiar bricks, white marbles, and coloured glass of the church.

That day, he was sitting on one of the church's benches, reading the bible. I couldn't remember what the weather was, but I remembered clearly what he looked like, even till now. It's been etched into my mind so hard. Whenever I'm alone, I think of him. I draw the outlines of his adolescence face out. He was probably eleven at that time.

Silvery-gold hair that looked like fibres of silk, sapphire blue eyes that haunt me till now, nose sharp and pointy, skin white as snow, a set of pale white lips-those were the features he possessed. He was probably one of the people who just didn't like to talk-the ones that sit in the corner of the room all alone, without anyone to converse to.

He flips another page, and I would have sat beside him but I didn't dare to ask. I was timid at that time.

Simply, without a word, I watch him from afar, admiring the way he blinks, the way he breaths, the way he mouths the words as he reads the text, the way he fidgets every few moments.

I snap out of the memory, gazing at the skyscraper. The building is pretty, but nothing could replace the church in my memory. I managed a grimace, one that changed from a frown.

"Alaude," I whisper, "I miss you."

I know I am whispering into nothingness, there's no one to answer. There's no afterlife, probably, because Alaude doesn't believes it, even if he reads the bible. There's just loneliness, whisperings of the winds that reminds me of him, every place I visit, every sight I envision-it is one filled with him.

I am obsessed to the very level that I can carve myself out for him. I want to pursue him to being nothingness, but there's something I must do, for him.

I inch away from the church, while sealing the memories of our first meeting back into my heart. I'm about to break down if I don't seal it, I'm too brittle; I'm falling to pieces, as Gokudera-kun said.

I wobble towards the parking lot where I came from. I just had to see what the church turned into, as Gokudera-kun told me, out of a slip. It…broke my heart, thoroughly. It's unhealthy, I know, but once I get attached to something, I might take up to months, years, ages to forget.

Gokudera-kun assures me it's sentimental and romantic, in a way, but I know he meant well. He's just concerned about me.

I cross-path with a man a half-a-head taller than me, and by the time I look up, he's gone, but I could feel his presence, just right then. I glance around, but I see no one. It's just me, lonely me.

There's a faint smell of butterscotch cookies in the air. They remind me of Alaude again. I cringe and held my hand against my heart. The ones he used to buy for me, the ones on Fifth Avenue, and the ones I haven't visited in ages since his death.

I resist the urge to burst to tears and swung the unlocked car door open, quickly stepping on the pedal as soon as I got into the musky car, the smell of butterscotch still lingering. A tear slipped down my cheeks, and I sped past the red lights.

"Alaude, Alaude, Alaude," I murmured in a morbid tone.

After a week of sleepless nights and coffee in the midnight, I finally fell asleep in the middle of a bright, windy Sunday morning, where there's a waft of cool breeze, where the trees are whispering secrets, where promises of being together are made in the nearby park.

What woke me up was the tinkling of the wind chimes, it was about dusk by the time I woke up, and I stare at the wind chimes incuriously. This wind chime was the one that Alaude bought a year ago, where we were roommates.

We brought new furniture-not new, but new to us-second hand furniture from the shop nearby our new home. We used to live in separate apartments. I used to live in a worn-down dorm, whilst he stayed in a one-room apartment. We pooled enough money to afford this small, shabby apartment that seemed too empty.

I lift my lips up for a slight smile when I think about the arguments we made over the furniture.

The second-hand vintage piano that was painted white by Alaude was still resting in the house, but it turned grey. I haven't repainted it. I wanted everything to remain the same as it were. So if one day, one day, Alaude would somehow… reappear…

I began to tear up at the thought of Alaude playing the piano. I pick myself up, and moved over to the piano. I lift the cover and took a deep breath to calm myself.

Playing "servant of evil" might cheer me up. Alaude used to tell me the story of the servant of evil when I can't sleep, and I would silently listen to him repeat the story over and over again. When he told me the story, it would always remind me of the times when he was cold and distant, but now he's opened up to me, I see a completely different person.

I adore him, so much, both sides of him.

I can't play the piano, but I can play this song, because he taught me this, the way his hand danced over the keys, like a butterfly taking flight-it has that effect. I pursed my lips and continued playing.

My fingers moved slower and slower, they are clumsy and hit each other while I was playing. I can never play like Alaude, I can never earn his love. A tear slips down my cheeks, and another splatters on the piano keys.

I re-realized that in the three months, Alaude would never re-appear. Never has he once appeared in front of me, not in my dreams, not in my hallucinations, but only in my memories. All I have of him is just his memories.

"Al…alaude…" I mutter and moments later, as tears free-fall on to the piano keys, hitting some keys in succession, the glass inside my heart cracked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I shrieked.

I sob so hard my lungs hurt. I feel so alone, there's nobody who would understand this except me, there's no one, no one here for me. Gokudera-kun might be considerate of my situation, but he'll never understand my heartbreak. There's Yamamoto too, but he'll never understand too, because… just because.

I realized something. I don't understand my friends at all. I have been devoting my time towards Alaude so much I was blinded.

"I feel so much better now," I say, saying to no one in particular, but the wind blows, calming me down.

"Butterscotch cookies, I want some now," I whisper, again to no one in particular, in this empty apartment that doesn't echo.

The old cookie shop sign was just around the corner, somewhere near our apartment. The sign was battered, yet it was modest. The tempting thought of butterscotch cookies I haven't had in months made my mouth water. The old lady's still here, kindly looking at me.

"Hello! Long-time no see," she says and smiles, handing me 2 packets of large-sized butterscotch cookies. I paid her 6000 yen without asking for change and rushed out of the shop. I needed time alone; I can't bear the sight of the old lady and the shop, when there's so much…memories in that place.

"Wait, young man, your change!" she shouted after me and I sprinted off with the cookies, not bothering to look back at her. She must think I'm strange.

She probably doesn't know what happened to Alaude, because she gave me 2 packets of cookies, which we always used to gobble down a whole packet in front of her, complimenting it. Now with Alaude gone, it's just…me and the cookies. I unfold the wrapping and fished a fresh, hot cookie out.

As I nibble the edge of the cookie, I remember Alaude used to wipe the remnants of the cookies on my cheeks with his handkerchief. That was the time we had our first kiss, it felt…unreal, kissing Alaude, the same pale lips I stared at the first day we met, at the church.

I blush from that memory, and purse my lips soon after. This time, someone tapped my shoulder; it's the same person from the skyscraper. I whisk myself to face that person, who smelled like Alaude.

He wasted no time in making his intentions clear.

"I want to have that extra packet of butterscotch you're having. It's sold out. I'll pay you." He demanded, eyeing at my pack of butterscotch cookies.

I finally rose up to study his features, who would be an almost replica of Alaude, much to my surprise. His eyes looked the same, except they were silvery, lacking the maturity and substance I thought Alaude had, and his jet-black hair was silky as Alaude's. Their features were undeniably simple, but he looked a few years younger than Alaude, and his personality was a far cry from him too, no doubt.

"No," I finally mustered up a reply when I finished studying his features. It was toouncanny.

He frowns, and his hands are twitching. I notice them, and observe that he must obviously not be used to people defying to him.

"…but you may have some of it. I'll share with you…some," I managed to say at last.

He finally meets my eye, and examines me.

"You look like an herbivore that's just about to be slaughtered by the carnivore," he commented.

"I don't," I protested almost immediately. He points to my puffy eyes and pale face.

"I think you do," he says. Maybe he's right. I hands him my packet of butterscotch cookies.

"There." I uttered curtly, not looking up to him. He looks too much like Alaude that it's painful to look. I clench my jaw and turned away without a further word. It would be rude, but I don't care… my world is falling into pieces. Nothing is going to help.

I strides away to my apartment and shut the door. I turned on the TV to drown my thoughts of Alaude as I gobble his packet of cookies.

"…this…tastes the same…" I whisper, my mouth stuffed with cookies, and feel the same feeling of missing him again. I lie down at the sofa, closing my eyes.

"Alaude, just how am I going to teach your brother to love if I'm so broken up?" I asked as the wind chimes tinkle again.

That was Alaude's last wish. I just had to grant it, before I join him, or… I gulp as I consider the thought, move on with life…without him.

I couldn't imagine the thought. I don't want to forget.

It's about a month later since the Alaude-look-alike cross-path with me. I know that strangers can probably cross-path once in a lifetime, have a once in a life-time encounter and never ever meet again.

That's sad, but… I really don't care, but sometimes when I'm finish pitying myself my thoughts drift to that stranger. I numbly prepare myself a pot of coffee again, I haven't had anything I like to eat or drink for about four months now, but my nutrition didn't matter.

Coffee numbs me, the bitter taste washing out all the memories.

After gulping the coffee down, I head to work, hoping to drown myself in the piles and piles of office documents that needed to be checked and handed to the boss.

Work makes me feel productive, I don't think about Alaude that much because of work. I feel human again during work, I feel as if I was meant to work all day and all night. I sip some piping hot coffee as I work till lunch, and finally visiting the convenience store when I had to eat. A packet bento from the convenience store would do.

I stood up, and wander till the convenience store near the office. The office workers had asked me out for lunch, but I denied them for four whole months. They're used to me being anti-social since… Alaude's gone, and have given up asking me out for lunch. We still used to say good morning in the morning and thanks for your hard work at evening but they probably all know something's wrong with me, something's broken in me.

At the convenience store, my heart almost dropped out when I saw the Alaude-look-alike. They're too similar for their own good, and it's making my heart clench. It aches. I can't smile or meet his eyes when I see him. I pretend he's not there and proceeds to get my packet of lunch. I tried thinking of getting out of the store, but it would be too noticeable. I'll just have to act normal.

Maybe he has already forgotten about me.

By the time I placed my bento on the counter, he was staring at me. He does not care to turn away when I stare back at him. He just kept staring as he took big steps towards the counter. He produces a credit card out and placed his basket on the counter.

"Charge it together," he commanded the cashier, who was listening to music over his music player.

The cashier snaps to action after a glare from the man and packs the things together.

"Hey wait, that's my lunch…mister." I stare incredulously at the man as he took out my lunch from the bag and scans through the box.

"So that's what herbivores eat," he remarked brusquely, pointing to the salad at the corner of the bento box.

"Please give it back. I'll pay for my own bento, I insist," I argued, producing out a few slips of yen notes.

"No, this is for the cookies you bought back then. I do not like owing people favours or any monetary matters." He states, pushing the notes back to me and throwing the bento to me.

Luckily I caught the bento. On my unlucky days my bento just fell over.

As I continued to defy him, he mutters something so dangerous I retreat.

"I'll bite you to death if you don't stop harassing me." He threatens, and stalks off.

I gaped at the Alaude-look-alike. I have nothing to offer as a comeback line.

That night I my dreams were filled with glimpses of Alaude, and the Alaude-look-alike. We were at the riverbank, on our way home where we would always pass through.

Activities of children playing in the soft and mild river stream, some people trying to catch fishes there were in my dream. Alaude was murmuring something I couldn't hear or remember, but in my dream I understood clearly what he said.

I smiled genuinely for the first time in four months. He was holding my hand when he realized that I was cold and I forgot to bring my jacket. I was basking in the warmth of his hands, warmth so familiar and so distant.

When we were at the end of the path, he released my hand.

"Wait!" I called out to him as he began to fade away.

"I wish you happiness, Tsunayoshi," he muttered and dissipated away. I tried to catch him, to retain some part of him with me, but nothing was retained. This was the first time I ever dreamt of him.

Just as I almost jumped into the river in my dreams out of despair, a hand reached out to me.

"Stop, you idiot herbivore," he scolded, "The river is not deep enough to kill you."

I gasped in realization. The man's butterscotch scent too, disappears the very next moment I turn around, with the both of them gone. I have nothing to offer this time, not even tears would spill out. Nothing.

I wake up at 5 in the morning, after the strange dream of the two. I made myself a cup of coffee-it's been a ritual since Alaude… was gone, but that ritual didn't stop. The coffee soaks into my mouth, a bitter, nasty taste. I hated coffee, but Alaude seems to like it. Maybe that was what made me start drinking it.

"Please," I whisper to no one again, "Let me see you, one last time, Alaude."

I began to talk to myself in desolation since there was no one else except me living in the house.

No one responded. I finished the mug of instant coffee and showered, preparing myself for another gruesome day of work. I think anyone who was near-blindness could spot my eye-bags. My face lacked colour, but I was never going to apply any cosmetics, who the girls in my department suggested.

I am a man, I would always tell them.

After readying my suitcase and everything else that I need, I turned the door knob to our apartment. Someone was turning at the other side of the door, I realize and I let go of the knob, out of reflexes.

"Who is it?" I questioned, not expecting anyone at this hour.

I swung the door open, without any clue in mind who would be the one standing at the other side of the door.

"You…" I gasped, when the door swung open.

"Hibari Kyoya," he states, with luggage in hand as he gazes around the interior of the apartment. I have no idea why he's here. I nods in acknowledgement that I have heard his name.

"Why are you here?" I finally ask, standing in his way to our apartment.

"This is my brother's apartment. He left no will, so I'm going to reclaim it." He states intolerantly.

This is the one place I cherish so much, I spent so much time, created so much memories with Alaude here that I cannot bear to let go. There is just too much of him here.

"No, no, you can't do that!" I exclaimed, pushing in away.

"This is my brother's apartment. Who are you to him?" He questions in an authoritarian like manner, and causes me to flinch.

"I'm his friend… I bought this apartment with him." I gave him a tight smile, eyeing at his luggage. He was obviously planning to stay here.

I should have known that the dark haired man was his brother; they look too alike, and now I have to teach this man how to love. I don't know why Alaude beseeched me to do that, but as his friend and as someone who loves him too much to reject him, I'd have to do it-but that doesn't mean he has to stay here.

I want to protect my memories of Alaude, keep my mind filled with him so his presence wouldn't be forgotten; I just want to stay this way. I don't want any changes in my life.

"Please, you can't stay here. Stay at a hotel or a nearby hostel, I'll give you the contact number and foot your bills if you wish, but just don't stay here."

His arms are by his side and his shoulders are broad… almost just like Alaude.

I pursed my lips on the thought of Alaude.

"No."

He barges into our apartment soon after, with his luggage. I drop my suitcase and my keys clanged on to the floor. My sanctuary has been breached and destroyed. I say nothing in response to his further actions of placing his luggage in Alaude's room.

It was useless. The scent of butterscotch cookies was too heavy. Every single day Hibari-san would bring home packets and packets of butterscotch cookies. That action alone drives me crazy. I would always requests him not to eat the cookies at home, but he would always ignore me.

He doesn't hogs the TV, which is a good thing but he remains in his room after eating the cookies. That's also a plus, which means I don't get to see him all the time, but his presence is undeniable.

He does his laundry in separate laundry baskets and washes after his own dishes. In a way, he's similar like Alaude, who's so independent… but he uses Alaude's mugs and sometimes he wears his clothes too.

We had agreed on sharing the apartment Alaude left behind, because I own half of the apartment, and I couldn't possibly let his younger brother stay in the hotel, after much persuasion and after the line was breached.

Alaude would never allow his younger brother to stay in the hotel, or so I thought, maybe he would, because he was usually cold to people he doesn't really talk to, but it's still not very good to do that. I was heartbroken but I couldn't do that to his brother.

I think I'm beginning to seem more like myself.

It's now a week after his brother had move in. I had no idea to teach him how to love. I fell in love with Alaude after so many interactions because I was simply curious about him and wanted a friend, but it's impossible to do that with his brother. I don't want to share the places I have been with Alaude or relive those moments I had with his brother.

It hurts too much.

I open up the picture book of servant of evil that I tugged under my pillow that night after a mug of ice cold coffee and read it to myself. It was illustrated by me; I drew the princess of evil out. It wasn't that much of a good sketch, but Alaude bound it into a book.

The paper has grown yellow and the edges of the book curled up due to time.

I brought this book to the living room and was enticed by the smell of aromatic jasmine green tea. I followed the smell to the kitchen, where a pot of jasmine green tea was on the stove. It was the instant kind, and the kind that Alaude used to have every once in a blue moon, stored in the cabinet. He usually had earl grey tea.

"Hibari-san, do you like green tea?" the question slipped out of my mouth before I had any time to think.

He was in the kitchen, pouring a cup of tea for himself and another one…maybe for me?

Hibari-san didn't answer but finished the cup of tea within seconds. He frowned. He gestured the cup to me, and I took the cup in my hand, and sipped it. The tea tasted bland, but it was the familiar gesture that Alaude used to do when he shared the tea with me.

"This tea is horrible. Did you buy this, herbivore?"

I shook my head. Hibari-san liked to use this nickname on me, and I didn't deny him the use of it. I was just too tired. At least he doesn't call me what Alaude calls me, and that's a good thing.

The book was held between by arms and body, positioning my body in an odd way.

"What's the book?" Hibari-san asks, and took the book out of my arm. I tried to get it back but I can't because the tea is too hot, but the book was more important, so I risked scalding my tongue and finished the tea, placing the porcelain cup on the kitchen table.

Hibari read the book aloud. His voice was just like Alaude's… deep but gentle. As he reads my mind began to unfold the memories of the times Alaude wrote the words while I drew the pictures of the book.

Hibari-san speaks as if he knows what's going to happen next and as if he knows the characters so well. On a particular scene where the estranged twins parted, I spoke.

"Stop reading, Hibari-san, please." I closed the book he was holding in his hands, and I realize that this is the first time I hold his hand. His hands are rough, unlike those of Alaude.

I took the book out of his hands without much force and returned to my room and lied down on the bed.

Then I hugged the book, holding it close to me.

It still had the warmth of Hibari-san…but it made me so upset, because it isn't Alaude that's reading to me, it's Hibari-san, and that would never change. I should stop treating Hibari-san like Alaude. It's unfair to the both of them, but when I see Hibari-san; I can only see Alaude in him. It's so hard to live with someone like that.

I probably should move out, but I want to stay close to Alaude…

I curl up under the blankets and fall into a dreamless sleep.

Life with Hibari-san is very tiring-I couldn't stay in the same room with him for too long with his intense stare and smell, but he doesn't seem to mind or know much about the fact. I go to work way earlier than before to avoid him, or purposely go to work later so as not to meet him in the morning. After the first week of living with him, I know what time he's coming home at. I usually come home at wee hours of the night to avoid any confrontation with him.

I know there's the part about Alaude and his dying wish, but I just can't… just can't.

On the second week since Hibari-san moved in, Gokudera-kun comes to have lunch with me.

"Gokudera-kun…hi," I greeted him, taking a few notes from my wallet to head down to the convenience store.

"Hi, Tsuna-sama, where are you planning on going?"

I wouldn't have told Gokudera-kun the truth, even if I were to kill myself, because telling him that I'm going to a convenience store would kill him. He would blame himself.

"Uhm, nowhere in particular," I uttered, coughing. Gokudera-kun says nothing, but I guess he must have known.

"Care to join me for lunch?" he invites, and I couldn't bear to reject his good intentions.

"Sure." I agree to it, and we went to the parking lots, where Gokudera-kun has his car parked there.

Gokudera sieves his hair through his fingers. He usually does this when he doesn't know how to talk to me about something. We enter his car and he inserts the key into the keyhole. We buckle our seat belts.

He steps on the pedal and we speed away from the company building.

"Gokudera-kun," I start, "Alaude's brother is living with me."

Gokudera stops the car in the middle of the empty road immediately, and starts again.

"We're not doing anything strange, don't worry," I continue, "I have no idea how to teach him how to love when I don't have the ability to love anyone else…"

Gokudera-kun doesn't say anything, but he continues speeding.

"Tsuna-sama," he says, "I love you, more than anything else in the world, but I think you know that already. You know, I really wished that the person that was sitting at the church when you were 3 was me, and when you were growing up, I wish I was there for you. Please, let go of Alaude, it's doing no good to you. And what you promised Alaude-it's impossible; you have no obligations to teach his brother how to love. I love you, Tsuna-sama, no matter how broken you are, I love you, just the way you are," Gokudera announced, blushing slightly.

Of course. I knew Gokudera-kun loved me a few years ago, but back then Alaude was alive. Gokudera-kun told me not to hide anything from him even if it'd hurt him, because if I hide it from him and he found out, it'd even hurt him more.

"…I can't, Gokudera-kun, I can't, but a promise is a promise. I'm determined to carry it out."

"Of course, Tsuna-sama." He answers, but I know he's hurting so much inside.

"Gokudera-kun, stop the car."

Gokudera-kun stops the car at the side of the empty road. I unbuckle my seat belt and urge him to do so. We got out of the car, standing at the side of the road.

I hugged him, tightly, from his back, with my hands entwined around his waist, with me tiptoeing up to reach him.

"Thank you, Gokudera-kun."

"Tsu…Tsuna-sama," Gokudera-kun breathed as he broke out. A tear slid down his cheeks, and I could feel the warm tears dripping on my hand.

"Cccould we just stay this way, at least for a little while?" he pleaded.

"Sure, Gokudera-kun, whatever you say."

That was all I could give him, after all he's done for me. We're each so broken up individually that there's nothing to mend us. I wonder if Hibari-san was ever this upset when his brother…was gone.

Gokudera-kun smelt of daffodillies and the slight scent of storm. It's difficult to describe the scent of storm, but there's a distinct smell when a storm is approaching. That's what he smells like. It's comforting, and washes away all my other thoughts.

We breathe and finally, after what feels like forever, I let go.

"Let's buy you lunch, Tsuna-sama, and get back," Gokudera-kun claimed as he placed his big hands over my head and rubbed his hand over my hair. That action is comfortable.

"Okay."

I nodded and we strutted to the silver car of Gokudera-kun.

This time, I try not avoiding Hibari-san. We were both at our apartment, and he was reading the book that I hid under my pillow.

"You went into my room?" I accuse immediately when I see the book in his hands.

"Alaude used to read the story to me, when I was young, and showed me this book when the both of you were done illustrating it." He says.

I didn't know that. Alaude never tells me anything about his brother, Hibari-san. I was render speechless, but I move quietly as I place my belongings on the table.

"I'm sorry." I finally apologize.

Maybe he's hurting inside like me, too. I shouldn't have thought that he was not. Maybe I reminded Hibari-san of Alaude too. How could I be so inconsiderate?

He says nothing, but I sat beside him in the sofa for the very first time.

I stare at his features properly for the very first time. He's beautiful. Sad, probably broken like I am under the stoic façade and his silvery eyes reflect so much depth. I blink and look away.

"Hibari-san," I muttered, "you're very unique."

I think I'm finally starting to see Hibari-san for Hibari-san, instead of treating him like Alaude's brother, and in fact, I'm going to teach him how to love. I'll stop running away, I decided, after that meeting with Gokudera-kun.

I meant what I said to Hibari-san.

Even if looking at him hurts too much, even if I think I'm staring at the reflection of Alaude, I know he's not. They're too different to be alike, and too alike to be different-two faces of a single coin.

He doesn't say anything, but just continue to stare at the picture book.

"Let's take a walk, Hibari-san." I urge, and stared at him intently.

For once, he listened to me, and stood up, following me without saying anything. Under his expressionless face, I can't feel whether he's sad or happy, but I know what's going to cheer him up.

We venture through the park behind the apartment, and through one of the path we strayed to the bushes and leap over it. Behind a few trees hides the old oak tree which had already withered. A small pond was behind the oak tree, where it's home to thousands of fireflies on this very summer night.

It's a rendezvous of the fireflies every year. Few know about this place and Alaude and I have named this place our secret spot every summer.

Thousands of fireflies surrounded the pond and the tree, creating a mask, a beautiful illusion-like scene that looks out of this world. Their yellow bright glow filled the lonely, dark night with their life.

"Alaude once told me fireflies only light up when they're looking for their mates." I informed, giving Hibari-san a smile.

Hibari-san hasn't talked since we left the apartment, but he was obliging and looked indulgent.

He held a finger out and a firefly landed on the tip of his finger.

Alaude did the very same thing, every time he comes. I looked away. I knew I should stop comparing the both of them, but I can't help it. When Hibari-san did that, it looked like I'm reliving in the memories when Alaude was still alive.

It hurts so much, but I know that I must continue doing this.

Alaude said to teach him how to love, but I think his brother is already embracing life and caring for other animals. His brother is capable of loving someone.

If so, why am I still here?

"Thank you." He whispered, and I almost didn't catch that.

"You're welcome, Hibari-san."

Hibari-san's not a bad person after all. It's me who's misjudging people.

The following month spent with Hibari-san was usual activities any roommate would do together-we had breakfast sometimes, and spent the whole Sunday lazing around the house, with me hogging the TV and Hibari-san inside his room, probably doing something, which I have no idea what he does.

I do wonder what he does inside his room, but I never ask about it. Hibari-san likes to the peace and quietness, so for his sake I turn the volume down on the TV. Alaude doesn't mind, since he puts on his earpiece and reads about police reports when he's free.

As the TV plays its advertisements, I gaze through the window, where a storm is brewing. I had left the windows open, and the wind blowing into our apartment is so big the wind chime almost flew out.

I closed the window, saving the wind chime that Alaude bought from flying out.

"That was close," I said to no one in particular again, despite no one really responding to me.

Something dropped down to the floor when I closed the window though, now that I realized it.

"Nowhere near close, herbivore." He stated, pointing at the broken vase.

I paled. That was Alaude's favourite vase. I bent down to pick up the pieces of the broken porcelain vase. There was no way I could piece it back together. Even if I did piece it back together, it would still be broken; there was no way it would go back to how it looked like before.

"Ah…"

A part of Alaude is broken. I… broke it.

I gathered the broken pieces of the vase together and placed it on my palms. I couldn't believe it… I got careless and it broke into pieces.

Hibari-san looked at me and picked at his grey shirt. It was getting hot and stuffy in the house after I sealed the window, but I refuse to open it. The usual him would have force his way to open the window, but today he didn't. He returned to his room and switched the air condition on.

Using a glue to put the vase back together wouldn't work, because I've tried it on a broken glass, and would ruin the object. I don't know what else I should do.

I place the pieces gently on my work table and sighed, apologizing to Alaude.

The me two months ago would probably have cried, but I have wasted too much tears at this stage there's just nothing that would spill out. Absolutely nothing.

I feel hollow and empty.

The following week to that, there was a vase on the spot where the original vase had sat on. Staring at it intently, I tried to make deductions on where the vase popped out from. I went to the work table and found that the pieces of glass were missing.

I took the porcelain vase in my hands, it felt light as always, but something was wrong about this vase, but I couldn't tell what.

The vase couldn't have magically repaired itself. There wasn't magic around-or I have stopped believing in it since I was 7. There was no magical fairy that would pop out and repair the vase because of it heard my cries of agony.

It had the same design as the vase before. It looked completely the same, but somehow it just felt like a replica of the vase.

Hibari-san had just returned on then while I was scrutinizing the vase.

"Welcome home, Hibari-san."

I found no reason to suspect Hibari-san of switching the broken pieces of vase-why would he do that-for me?

He 'hn'-ed a response and went into his room straight away, without looking at me.

A few minutes later, the sound of water splashing to the ground was heard. He was showering, maybe that's not a very good time to ask him about the vase, but I couldn't resist asking.

He must have headed to the bathroom when I was holding the vase.

"Hibari-san," I said, unsure of whether he's listening to this or whether the water would mute out my voice, "Did you replace the vase?"

He didn't response for almost three whole minutes, and I thought that it must be the water that must have muted out my voice.

"The vase that fell to the ground was a vase I bought for Alaude." He explained, and he turned off the shower tap.

I fell into grand silence. Of course Alaude would treasure his brother's gifts, I knew that, but he never spoke of a brother-he never spoke of Hibari-san at all. I just couldn't think of why he hadn't told me about his brother until his deathbed.

"I called the manufacturers to replicate a similar one, but that, is none of your business, herbivore." He stated.

He came out of the bathroom with his hair dripping wet, only wearing a pair of yoga pants. I blushed. The water and the sight of a half-naked Hibari-san wasn't what I expect to see. He was always discreet. Then there was his muscles- I should stop myself from describing more before I go mad.

I shied away from the sight of him, feeling my cheeks burn. Nevertheless, I had to speak out my mind.

"I know, but please, I don't think you should replace Alaude's vase…with something not Alaude."

With that, I went back to my room and slammed the door shut. I didn't know if I would have said something to hurt Hibari-san, but I do not wish to remedy the situation.

I just want to keep Alaude-every piece of his evidence to that he had lived, close to me.

By now, six full months has passed since Alaude's gone. I guess I haven't stopped mourning for him-black suit and white dress shirt with a black tie and usual jeans I where to anywhere every day.

I opened up my closet and discover that the other colours other than monochrome colours were no longer present in my closet. I dug out a grey sweater and a pair of jeans. It's snowing heavily outside, so I should wear thicker clothing to keep myself from freezing.

I guess recently I haven't done anything with Hibari-san; I have reverted back to my usual style of escaping Hibari-san by burying myself with work. I should probably have some dinner with him, so much for teaching Hibari-san how to love. I fidget in response of the thought. I prepare his bento every morning, where I would place on the dining table.

By the time I got home, he has already washed his bento box and placed it back into the cupboards. It had become a usual routine now, because I was afraid that he wouldn't eat much. I have learnt that sometimes he was so busy he wouldn't have time to eat, so I prepare bento every morning.

Hibari-san inherits his family heritage as a yakuza boss. I didn't want to question too much about it, but I learnt that Alaude and Hibari-san had different mothers; maybe that's why Alaude didn't mention too much about him, because of their jobs opposition?

Today, after placing Hibari-san's prepared bento on the table, I place a note on top of the box, asking him out. I think I shouldn't neglect Hibari-san, I think I should apologize.

With that, I went to work. Work was busy as always, with loads of paperwork to prepare and check. When the clock struck twelve for lunch, I realize that I had a message in my phone. It was from Hibari-san, telling me that he'd pick me up for lunch.

I replied him an 'OK'.

I went down to the parking lots as agreed and the moment he arrived and I entered his car, we sped away.

"Where are we going, Hibari-san?" I queried.

He doesn't answer me. Hibari-san likes to ignore me or rather delay his answer; he prefer showing to telling.

We stop at a restaurant selling local delights. Greeted by a charming waitress who seems to flirt with Hibari-san, we were appointed to a table near the window. Hibari-san, of course, ignored the waitress. I pity the waitress. We ordered our meals and the waitress reluctantly strode away, carrying the menu.

"You're keeping something about your relationship with Alaude, who are you to him exactly? I know you are more than a friend."

I winced and shrugged. Pretending not to know anything would be best, I don't like to divulge about this to anyone.

"Feigning Ignorance won't help."

"What I want to know is why a yakuza boss would want to stay at his….deceased brother's small and cramped apartment," I retort back, feeling particularly protective of my secret.

"Are you going to tell the truth if I told you why I didn't choose to sell the apartment or leave it alone?"

"I don't know, Hibari-san." I answered truthfully. He frowns; I placed both of my hands up, surrendering.

"OK, we have a deal." I said after much consideration.

My relationship with Alaude was complicated, but I doubt why anyone wants to know, it brings back so much hurt and comfort at the same time.

The same waitress comes back again, serving us our set lunches.

"I used to admire my brother, until something happened."

In front of me was a platter of steak and some vegetables with mashed potatoes on the side. I poke the carrot.

"What happened?" I questioned, and I know that I'm treading on dangerous waters now.

Hibari-san glances outside the window. It begins to drizzle, with people opening up their umbrellas on the street.

"My brother, he told me he loves me."

That instance, my carrot drops to the platter. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Would Hibari-san lie to me? There's no reason for him to lie to me. I couldn't think of any. I kept making up excuses, trying to convince myself; but all clues of my previous interactions with Alaude proved that he indeed, loved his brother.

He didn't tell me about Hibari-san… because he loved him…and if he were not gone, he'd still love him.

"…I see."

Suddenly the food doesn't seem so appetizing.

I pretended to glance at my wristwatch.

"Oh, look at the time, I'm sorry, Hibari-san, I must go. If you'd please excuse me."

I am well aware that my tears are brimming, falling any time soon. Alaude didn't love me. I knew that. He didn't tell me-why? Am I not considered his best friend, at least? I pursed my lips and gathered my suitcase.

Alaude had some incestuous relationship with his brother. That's why his brother wants to live here, not in some yakuza-Japanese like grand house.

Hibari-san rose up and held on to my wrist before I could manage to make my escape.

"I'll send you back to your office."

He grabs me and gets me inside his car. The light rain hit my skin gently.

My eyes are getting cloudy, but I resist the urge to cry. I will never cry, I will never cry in front of Hibari-san.

"What about lunch?" I uttered, but my voice sounds thick. It's that kind of voice I make when I am going to burst into tears any moment.

"I'm not going to let my brother's friend cry in front of the whole restaurant and embarrass himself." He briskly muttered.

"Oh… Thank you, Hibari-san."

He did not need to do that for me, but he did. Hibari-san's a good person…when I'm just his rival in love. That's why Alaude wanted me to teach Hibari-san to love. Everything clicked now.

Hibari-san is surprisingly understanding, under that cold exterior, he's actually a kind man. I am the one who's at fault, always weeping and crying over Alaude.

However, I cannot bring myself to apologize to him now. It's still drizzling in the streets, and the soothing sound of it made me calmer. Looking at the grey streets, I thought that my future might be similar.

I heaved a sigh when Hibari-san stopped at my office.

Tonight was a starless night. I used to go out to the fields by the riverbank and stargaze with Alaude. It was one of my happy memories with him. We would smile and he would tell me stories about the legends of the moon, the unrequited love of some goddess, the constellation names and anything random that come across his mind.

I hiccupped. My cheeks are bright red as I went drinking. I shouldn't have went drinking when I know I'm a bad drinker, but Yamamoto asked me out, and it's been too long since I last met a good friend. Yamamoto was the type of guy who understood without you telling him what's on your mind. He doesn't urge you to talk about it, and has a great sense of humour.

I rubbed my eyes as I passed the riverbank. I have a sudden urge to jump in the river. The river reflected the street lights and the grasses by the side of the river.

I crouched by the river, placing my hands in the cool river water.

"Ahhh this is so cooling," I remarked, "isn't it Alaude?"

I jumped into the river without any constrictions, yanking my tie out and my blazer out on the river bank. I splashed around with some water, and for a moment or so, I thought I saw Alaude, so I waved to Alaude.

Alaude slowly strolled to the riverbank. He had his arms folded.

"Herbivore, what are you doing here?" Alaude asked. I giggled, splashing some water at his slippers.

"Taking a swim, like we did before, remember?"

I smiled, and climbed out of the river. Placing my arms around him, I kissed him, a light and gentle one.

"You're drunk." He murmured, picking up articles of my clothes that I discarded. He swung the articles so it settled on his shoulder, and bent down to pick me up.

"I'm not drunk; you like me wet don't you, Alaude?" I teased, poking Alaude's nose.

Alaude's stoicism makes me laugh. I snuggle into his warm and giving arms. I sniff.

"You smell good, like butterscotch." I comment, giggling away. In the corner of my eyes, I see him roll his eyes.

The stars are still not present in the sky, but it's a nice night out, with cooling breeze slapping our faces.

We return home after about a 5-minute walk. Alaude placed me on the bathtub and exited to place my clothes on the rag. The bright light in the bathroom makes me blink my eyes.

"Alaudeeee," I call.

Alaude was standing by the bathroom as I call him. He's looks like he's going to burst out in laughter. I took the shower head and turn the tap on before Alaude could stop me. The water splattered on to Alaude and now he's now wiping the water off his face.

He approached me and I aimed the shower head at him, rendering him wet from head to toe.

"Why don't you join me, for a shower? We used to do that, right?"

Alaude is speechless, but action speaks louder than words so he peeled off my wet dress shirt and jeans. Seconds later my underwear is off too as Alaude fills the tub with water.

"I'm not my brother. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with him but I am not going to pretend that I am him."

With that, he left me alone in the bathroom until ten minutes later, where I was falling asleep in the steam and the comfortable warm water.

As I shake myself awake, all the things I did to Hibari-san came rushing back to me. I mistook Hibari-san for Alaude. What a fool I am… and I realize that Hibari-san had seen me naked.

I blush on the thought of it. I do not know how I'm going to face him again.

Hibari-san enters the bathroom just as I was thinking of leaving the tub, but with him wet and sticky, I couldn't help inviting him into the bath.

He looks as if he's wary of me, but I can't blame him.

"I'm not drunk now, Hibari-san. I'm sorry. You're being a gentleman, you know, if you don't mind b-bathing with me."

He says nothing but he starts to take off his clothes. He pulled the end of the obi to his yukata. I turned away. It was a stupid idea; I must have had too much alcohol to suggest this. Before I know it, I was blushing. It's not like I haven't seen a man's naked body.

I made room for him in the tub. I swear I haven't seen so much of a naked man's skin since…Alaude.

Hibari-san has creamy white skin… I'm staring at his neck now. I swallowed. I refuse to look at any part of his body and have folded my legs together. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye now.

"Hibari-san, I'm sorry for what happened in this afternoon. I just haven't heard of that from…Alaude, that's all…" I confessed, wrapping my hands around my folded legs.

Hibari-san has placed his hands on the side of the tub. He appears to be comfortable enough.

"Aren't you his lover?"

"No, we aren't lovers. We aren't in a relationship either, but if Alaude had told me you were in a relationship with him, I would have wished both of you happiness… even if it's incest." That didn't feel like my voice. It feels like someone else's, but as I spoke this, I can feel my tears ready to fall.

Hibari-san looks uninterested.

"I could never love a bastard like him. We don't have that kind of relationship. I turned him down." Hibari-san clarified.

I didn't know that either, but I know that a year ago, Alaude appeared to be pretty upset, under that exterior, but when I asked him about it, he didn't say anything. I suppose that it's about this. I didn't understand Alaude at all, even now when he's gone.

"…Don't call your brother bastard, Hibari-san, that's not very nice. I'm sure both of you had your differences." I managed to say, putting up a bitter smile.

Hibari-san makes no promises. That means that he isn't going to uphold it.

"…I was what you call his 'friend with benefits'. There wasn't love, wasn't lust, just pure sexual needs for him, I suppose. I never really confessed. I should have, and I regretted so much…"

Tears began falling, joining the pool of warm water in the tub.

I bury my head within the confines of my legs. The tears will not stop, and I think that this time would be worse than the time I broke down before Hibari-san came to live with me.

"I'm fine, Hibari-san, really." I tell him that, when I feel his hand petting my head in a un-Hibari-san-like action.

I begin to sob, and wail as my shoulders heave up and down. It's so painful, my heart hurts so much, and my brain can't register anything as I tell Hibari-san about how much I loved him. How much it hurts when he died, how much I can't accept him dying, how much I wanted to be comforted by someone but I don't wish to be comforted at the same time, how I want to keep all of him, stay obsessed like this all my life.

He brings me into his arms and I weep like I have never before.

I feel my body press against Hibari-san's, but for the first time, I don't care at all, I just want to let it all out, everything that's bottoming in my heart.

"…I can't accept that he left me, telling me to teach you to love, I can't, and he didn't…love me at all… on the first month when he died, I tried hurting myself but I can't see him, people say when you're at the brink of death you would see someone you love so much but I can't… and I can't give up living, I'm scared to die…"

"I know." He soothed me with his hand, petting me as I wipe my tears away from him.

When I calmed down again, he kissed me, on the lips this time. I could feel all of him, and for a moment, just for this moment, I'd like to forget it all, end my suffering, so I returned his kiss.

This simple kiss turned fierce, aggressive, and I could feel his tongue. Butterscotch cookies-for a moment, it's just the taste of him, just memories with us, just us. I wrap my hands around Hibari-san.

I could feel his hands all over me, his hot breath on my neck. I was still crying, but his kisses seem to make them all better. He may look like Alaude, but he's nothing like Alaude.

"I want all your attention to be on me," he whispered in a husky voice.

His kisses seem to melt me, especially those on my neck. His hands are pressing the bed, and that makes me feel sort of…safe.

He's kissing my neck, and it feels ticklish, I almost giggle, but I manage to refrain from giggling. He takes his time gently with me, like I'm a treasure. I begin to relax. I trace his rippling muscles that I wonder how he gets, but it must be work I guess. That notion makes me blush.

He cups my face with one hand and gently kisses me, slowly.

Nothing is needed to be conveyed with Hibari-san, it feels like he knows me, more than I know myself. It's a weird feeling, but it has my heart racing. This is the first time I feel so intimate with someone.

His hands are gently working on my nipples, teasing me slightly and causing me to moan. The way he experiments it, and the look of his triumphant face when he found a sweet spot or caused me to moan, is so erotic.

The sexy smirk on his face…

"Nnnh…ahh," I moaned.

He would growl when I challenge him, or when I am trying to switch position with him. I can see there's no choice but to back down this time.

His hands move over my stomach, taking his time to examine me thoroughly. It feels so embarrassing and so good at the same time.

As I tried to snitch my hand away from him he grabbed my hand and licked it. I shivered. It feels so good, and it feels so weird as to why I didn't jump off the bed right now.

He lifts me up and places me on his laps, so I'm straddled on his laps.

Then there were his hands on my manhood. I flinched when he touched me. I don't think I am ready for it. I gasped when he started pumping it. I hold on to his hand.

"There's no need to, please, just…get on it now."

Hibari-san gently placed my hands away but continued what he was doing. It feels embarrassing, but it's not as if someone hasn't done that to me before. I could feel the pleasure coming in folds, building up and then he stops and it continues as he begins to pump again.

I was beginning to pre-cum.

"…No, no more."

He gently lies me back down on the bed.

He wipes the tears away from my face.

"Tonight, it's just you and me, mine tonight," he growls as he spreads my legs. My legs feel like jelly after crying so much. I am wasted after crying that much, and have no energy to rebuke.

I nodded, taking in as an assumption that Hibari-san likes his partner to have their minds and hearts to his in bed.

He took my pre-cum and lubricated his fingers with it.

He placed his digits inside of me, and I could feel them. I squirmed, and he stopped in concern. I gave him a feverish smile, and he made sure I feel comfortable enough to continue. This made me feels like he really cared about me.

It made me feel warm inside, with my heart beating, for the first time, not for his brother, but for him.

His fingers moved slowly and gently inside of me, and when he finally found my sweet spot, I moaned softly.

He withdrew his fingers at once, licking them. I blushed at the sight of it. How could a man licking his fingers be so erotic? He took his time again, and began to finger me again when I thought that he was finally going to take me.

"Hibari-san… please…" I begged. He continued fingering me though, as if he hadn't heard me.

Finally he withdrew his fingers again, and I thought that he was going to repeat the same procedure again. However, I was wrong again.

This time he plunged into me, slowly. I could feel his tip inside of me, as he allows the rest of him to ease inside of me when I was much more prepared. I feel so tight, my insides clenching. He made no such compliments, but I could see in what used to be cold, grey eyes that he was too, lost in the pleasure.

I allow myself to indulge in it as he begins to move.

He makes his movement so slow that it's torturing, an irony that it's supposed to be pleasuring. I don't know why he likes to indulge in such torture, but I clamp my mouth shut in order not to beg.

I have had enough of begging, it was so embarrassing.

He stopped when I'm at the peak of my pleasure and I wonder why he enjoys torturing me sometimes. I know that I'm going to cum but I say nothing towards that. He's slowly building the peak to my pleasure.

Finally he moves faster, but to me it's still painstakingly slow, I groan at that but he says nothing towards that.

He builds up the speed eventually, and I release a suppressed moan.

As the both of us climaxed, I cannot see anything else, except him, and for the first time in so many years of my life, I stop wondering about Alaude.

The next day was nothing but awkwardness, Hibari-san acted the same way though, except the occasional glance. I decided to do the same too, and for two or so months, nothing happened and Hibari-san became busy with work, I assume.

Later, he came home only once in every few days. He soon told me that his father finally announced him as the yakuza head, so he can't afford to stay here, it would be dangerous for both him and me. I nodded.

Perhaps what happened that night was only a one night stand. That thought hurt more than I expected.

Alaude was still on my mind occasionally, but not as much now. Glimpses of memories still appear, when I see the piano we bought together, and sometimes a mug I gave him or something in the home would re-play over and over again, whenever I'm lonely.

I turn to those bitter-sweet memories, and began to relive in them; slowly and slowly, I resumed back into the life before I met Hibari-san, and all that remains in my heart, are only ghosting memories of Alaude, and the times I shared with Hibari-san.

The river became a place that I forbid myself to visit-it brings back too much heartbreak.

However, as the sun dips down, I find myself walking back to the riverbank. Hues of red and orange coloured the sky, as the sun sinks into the horizon, leaving its shadowy black in trace. The moon rose in place, looking like a white pearl in the sky. A gem too hard to ever grasp by mankind, Alaude would say, and he would tell me a tale.

The memory of that makes me smile, something that I would have forgotten.

A man's shadow cast over me, and I hoped that it was Hibari-san.

My wishes are never granted, I know that, but it just had to be a man grasping a knife tightly in his hand.

"Fuck Hibari Kyoya, he can throw away everything of mine… but so can I…" he shouted, as he threw the knife forward. I managed to dodge the knife in time but it managed to graze across my cheek.

Immediately I responded, by turning my way and breaking into a sprint. I have never expected trouble to surmise from Hibari-san's work. I'm nothing to him. I don't dissuade the man because he wouldn't believe or would never listen when he's so enrage.

The man's still chasing me relentlessly; I don't know how much stamina he has. He produces another blade from his pocket and when he catches me at an empty street, he tried to slash me, but as an attempt to protect myself, I took the knife by its blade.

It hurts so much, and I could feel the blade cutting into my skin.

I have had some defence classes, so I followed what I learnt in class, and kicked the man in his rear. He howled in pain, but he managed to make one successive slash-to my eyes and as my vision cloud into red, I could see the moon.

"Quand il me prend dans les bras
Il me parle tout bas
Je vois la vie en rose"

I could see the moon in bloody red colour, telling me that a bad omen is arriving, but it's far too late. It's that prophecy.

"I'm sorry, Tsunayoshi Sawada." A familiar voice said. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could hear a voice.

"…Alaude? Is that you? Am I in afterlife?" I queried. I felt something cold touch my forehead. It's comfortable, its Alaude's hand full of callouses.

"You're correct. I have let you down, left you with such a huge duty, such a selfish wish of mine. You've been such a great friend…" Alaude said, his voice filled with regret.

"Alaude…please don't put it that way… you know I lov-"

Alaude put his index fingers on my lips. I could smell nothing in the air.

"I won't let you say that; because hearing my answer would hurt you. Besides, you already know my secret, don't you…? I won't let you say that because I'm giving you something. Something that will guilt your life forever, but it might be a blessing to you." He whispered.

"I will always stay by my brother's side, and yours too, the three of us are intertwined more than you expect, even in after life…but my brother already knows that."

I could feel his smirk without being able to see.

"Au revoir, Tsunayoshi Sawada."

I knew Alaude's mother tongue was French. His mother was French.

The sound of Alaude's soothing voice begins to fade away as the thought forms, and I can hear nothing except the sound of my breathing until everything fades into nothingness.

As I begin to hear the sound of my breathing, the sound of a BP machine, and something rustling in a distance, I opened my eyes.

I can see, clearly.

Everything seemed so bright and clear, until I see Hibari-san, standing by my bedside, with a bouquet of mixed flowers. He stares at me, for the first ten seconds, without blinking.

"I see what you meant now, brother." Hibari-san whispers, probably something intent not for me to hear it but I heard it.

"I want to start a relationship with you, Sawada Tsunayoshi, even if you look like that."

I remember about the slashing incident, of course. I could smell tension in the air.

"The man's taken care of. It's my mistake for leaving your side. I should take responsibility; so…what do you say?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"…sure."

I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship, but I guess I could try. I like Hibari-san; that's an undeniable fact even if I love his…deceased brother.

Hibari-san approaches me and produces a mirror from his pocket.

Hibari-san lifts the mirror, and I see two sapphire blue eyes staring back at me.

Without a doubt, I know who those eyes belongs to.

Alaude.

The three of us would always be intertwined together. I realize, and we are connected… by a silver chain of death and a circulus vitiosus was thus formed, in the name of the god creating such wonderful miracles.

~finis~

E/N: I have some points to make on the story. Please read before commenting.

1. EYE transplant is NOT possible currently, but this is fiction...right?

2. The verse used was a song called, "La Vien En Rose"

3. No proofreader, mistakes are all mine, particularly in tenses.

4. OOC-ness maybe present because of storyline.

This story really pulled my heartstrings, especially the initial part of the story- I felt so much grieve throughout-and to those who has just lost someone important, they'll always be with you.

I don't know when I'll continue my other fics, but I wish y'all an early happy halloween and stuff.

Review/Fav/Alerts would be appreciated; but I might not be able to reply. Sorry, but I'll read all of them. In the meanwhile, thank you in advance.