Makoto believes that Haru tells him everything there is to know about him, even if he says absolutely nothing. (Sadly, this is not the case.)

Haru is not that hard to read, though, Makoto tells himself. His eyes glisten in anticipation when he wants something. He pouts, somewhat, when something does not go his way. He smiles faintly at what he considers his happiness, and for the rarity of that event, Makoto is happy to have witnessed most of it.

Falling in love with Haru is never a part of his plan.

They are kids then; they know each other even before they started swimming. Haruka's grandmother is his guardian, given that his parents are rarely home. When Makoto asks him about it, Haruka shrugs. He doesn't seem upset about it, so Makoto drops the topic.

But when he sees Haru crying about it, the switch is flicked.

He turns into this big sappy fool, for Haru and Haru alone. He clutches the boy in his arms and whispers sweet nothings to him, reminding him that it's okay, that he's never fully alone, that obaa-chan is always there for him, that his parents will always love him even if they are cities away.

That Makoto will always be there because they are best friends. (Because I love you, Haru, he wanted to say then, but his Mom often told him that "I love you" is something you can never say out of a whim; you must mean it so that the person you're telling that to would feel your sincerity.) Makoto bites his tongue before the words slip out of his lips. Haru watches him intently with those gorgeous blue eyes, and Makoto immediately regrets not saying it.

Since then, Haru never mentions the topic anymore. And he tells Makoto that he's okay when he catches him staring with that worried gaze.

They hold hands as they skip their way to Makoto's house, where omurice greets them for lunch while Makoto's mom watches adoringly, rubbing her stomach lovingly. Makoto tells Haru that he is going to be a big brother for two siblings, and Haru stares at the baby bump, wondering how they fit in there.

"Haru-chan's gonna be a big brother too," She tells him with a smile, and Haru's eyes widen. He goes back to eating while trying to hide the blush on his cheeks, and Makoto falls even further.

So when he finds out about the secret match between Haru and Rin in middle school, he couldn't bring himself to get angry at Haru because he understands now. He understands why Haru quit swimming competitively, and why Haru gets so interested when Rin is the topic of their conversation. He understands that Haru never really tells him everything.

It makes him sad but he knows it's not his place, because who is he exactly to pry?

"Were you disappointed?"

They are the only ones left on the rooftop then, eating Makoto's packed lunch for two, the cool breeze making them feel at ease. Haru is staring at Makoto then, and Makoto couldn't bring himself to look at Haru.

"About what?" Makoto asks back.

"Me not telling you. About the match."

"Ah," Makoto says, but stops then. There are a million things he wants to say, but he stops himself. "It's your life, Haru," he says finally. Haru seems to be disappointed at the answer, judging from the frown. Makoto sighs. "Haru, I know we're best friends. I believe that you'd tell me everything there is to know when you have problems, but…"

Makoto lays down his bento on his lap and stares at the sky.

"But that sadly isn't the case anymore, apparently," He finishes, cursing the bitterness on his tone.

He watches the lone cloud in the sky pass by them while at the corner of his eye, Haru excuses himself to do some class duty. An excuse, Makoto knows, because Haru has class duties the same week he does.

Makoto arrives home pretty early, judging from the empty house. He texts Gou and tells her that he won't make it on their practice, and promises he'll do his best tomorrow.

Gou replies a few minutes after, but he doesn't read it.

He lies on the sofa and waits.

Ding dong!

He is unsurprised when he finds out that it's Haru. Instead, he welcomes him inside, and asks if he wants tea. Haru nods, telling him that he should grill mackerel as well. Makoto ignores him. Before he could prepare tea, Haru holds on to his sleeve, his expression defeated.

"I…" Haru averts his eyes, and Makoto smiles. "I wanted to tell you, then…"

"Haru—"

"I wanted to continue swimming with the team, but—"

"Haru, you're not listeni—"

"Makoto, I'm s—"

Makoto cups Haru's cheeks, squishing them together to ridicule Haru, and says, "I understand. I'm sorry for acting immaturely."

Haru stares at him like he was insane.

"I may have been carried away by my own emotions, and to be honest, I really don't want to bother you with them."

"But I—"

"Hey, hey. No need to explain yourself. I have been selfish and idiotic to say those things. I'm so—"

Before Makoto could apologize again, Haru's lips were on his, and he panics. Makoto draws back immediately, and regrets it as soon. Haru looks pained and hurt, and he turns to leave but Makoto grabs his hand.

"Haru?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't—!"

Makoto is smiling when Haru faces him, but Haru doesn't know what to do so he closes his eyes. Makoto towers over him and embraces him softly, so Haru has no choice but to embrace back. Desperately, he clings to Makoto because he is weak. He is weak and Makoto has always been his pillar, his foundation, his everything.

"Now what's this about then, Haru-chan?" Makoto asks him with his normal sunny tone.

"Drop the –chan, I told you…"

Makoto laughs, and Haru is reminded how much he loves that sound. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Oh, you know."

Haru looks at him, horrified. Makoto lets out a laugh again, and with a swift motion, they are on the couch, Haru is on his lap, his arms around Haru's waist, their lips locked together perfectly.

"Idiot," Haru tells him when they pull away.

"I love you," Makoto says, and he thinks, maybe I didn't say it back then for a reason.

"I love you too," for so long now, Haru thinks, and oh, how happy Makoto looks. Haru smiles at the sight and kisses him again.

Makoto knows that Haru tells him everything there is to know about him, even if he says absolutely nothing.