Sunday

(This is the real last chapter. There will be no more, I promise. It's much longer than the others.

Also, just a little side note: I like to think Sasuke is a lot more vulnerable than he lets on, hence the stuttering in 'Friday', but because of his background and need to feel strong against opponents and rivals alike, he refuses to acknowledge his own feelings as if they're a form of weakness in favour of acting aloof. That's why, when faced with Naruto's romantic advances, he comes across as stubborn, when really he's just an emotionally constipated gay boy who wants Naruto's D so bad it scares him. That's why I portray him the way I do in this story. He's pretty OOC, I know. Anyways, continue.)

-x-

It was around midday, and Sasuke still hadn't gotten out of bed. Last night he'd done everything slower than he usually did – it took him nearly thirty minutes to eat his dinner, and he spent over an hour just standing in the shower, glaring at his hands. He had to glare at something.

He later attempted the stacks of unfinished paperwork sitting on the kitchen counter, but he couldn't do it. Usually all he needed was to make himself focus and he was fine, but no matter how hard Sasuke tried, the paperwork just wouldn't fill itself out. He gave up, resigning to the bedroom and collapsing onto the covers. He fell asleep quickly, the weeks of sleep deprivation catching up with him.

At approximately five in the evening on Sunday, Sasuke woke to a pool of his own spit drenching his pillow and the sound of someone hammering at the front door. He flipped the pillow over, still unbelievably tired, and mashed his face down to block out the noise. Only one person ever came to visit Sasuke, and that was Naruto. If Naruto was knocking on his door, he definitely wasn't answering.

The knocking persisted, but so did Sasuke.

Eventually, whoever it was at the door (probably Naruto) gave up and left him alone. Sasuke smiled; looked like he wasn't going on a date today.

His smile was short lived. The sound of splintering wood rang through his apartment with the clarity and reverberation of a gong, startling Sasuke onto his feet, reflexes much faster than his sleep-fogged brain. He fumbled for his kunai pouch and brandished two of the knives, peeking through the crack in his door to try and catch a glimpse of an intruder. His front door had been snapped off its hinges, the fragmented metal having been pulled right out of the frame and leaving two jagged, faintly rectangular chomps behind in his wall.

The sight of Sasuke's door flat down over the welcome mat was not as surprising as the faces of his assailants – it was that weird kid, Sai, and his creepy counterpart Yamato (the two had become good friends, relating to the fact that nobody considered them to be real members of Team 7 and bitching about Sasuke behind his back. How could an absolute douchebag like him be more welcome on Team 7 than them?)

Sasuke had been introduced to the pair a while back and Sai called him filthy traitorous scum then tried to shake his hand. Yamato … he just had a mean look in his eye.

Right now, though, neither looked threatening. In fact, when Sasuke walked out to ask them what the hell they thought they were doing, they both had sheepish smiles on their faces that would be better placed on a pair of shy men at a strip joint.

Furthermore, they were carrying something. Sasuke looked between it and them, unpleasant realisation dawning on him like a farmer waking from a nap out in his field to a cow shitting directly onto his face.

"No," Sasuke told them, stern. He looked to the splintered remains of his front door to muster appropriate levels of anger from his drowsy brain. "No way in hell. This isn't happening. You two are leaving now and you're taking that with you. And then you're paying for my door."

Sai's smile only grew wider.

"Sorry," said Yamato, "but I'm willing to do anything for Naruto to shut up about you at this point. We're here to make sure you're ready for your date tonight." He didn't say he wanted to see Sasuke humiliated; he didn't have to, his tone implied it.

Sasuke looked horrified. "In that thing? I'm not wearing it! When does anybody wear those anymore? Except for girls," he added.

"Lots of people, in fact, men included," Sai informed him. Sasuke noticed he was armed with a bag full of painting supplies. What, were they dressing him up for some kind of interactive theatre art piece? "On special holidays and occasions, such as Hinamatsuri and the annual Hokage Festival."

"Neither of which are today," Sasuke pointed out.

"Sorry, these are direct orders," Yamato said with a shrug.

"From who?" Sasuke asked, incredulous. "Who is giving you these preposterous orders and what authority do they have?"

"Naruto, of course," said Sai.

"So you two are Naruto's goons now?" Sasuke gave them a look that suggested doing anything for Naruto made them undesirable in more aspects than one.

Yamato's face clouded over, his eyes going bloodshot. The entire room seemed to darken. It was The Look. Naruto had warned him about this look; said it could change a man. Had Sasuke been any less than an Uchiha, he probably would be sweating enough to save an entire country from drought.

"Put it on," Yamato said lowly, "and be ready by eight. Or else."

Sasuke took the item from the man's hands, but not because Yamato told him to. He took it because he was starting to feel bad for them. They really were pathetic, going this far for Naruto. That was the only reason. (It took him a couple times to grasp the item in his hands due to them shaking so much.) Sai simply kept smiling like he and Yamato went around threatening people every day, and maybe they did. Maybe Naruto had an entire network of shinobi ready to run errands for him and convince people to wear stupid things on dates.

Yamato and Sai waited in his living room for Sasuke to get dressed – Sai had immediately laid out a scroll on the coffee table and drawn two lions that had jumped to life before his eyes. Sasuke would have been surprised if he hadn't seen him making the hand signs. Those two inky black guards were standing by the bathroom window to ensure Sasuke didn't try escaping (Naruto hadn't left any room for this night to fail). They snapped at Sasuke's ankles as they walked by him, growling lowly.

"They look aggressive," Sasuke noted.

"Yes," Sai agreed. "If you attempt an escape, they will tear you limb from limb without hesitation."

"It's still worth a shot though," Yamato said, almost eager. "You could outrun them. In fact, I dare you to escape."

"They are faster than the average human," Sai told him. "Without chakra Sasuke would surely be killed."

"Don't let this guy tell you how to live your life!" Yamato was beginning to sound like his anarchist life coach. "Stick it to the man. You're into that, right? Rebelling against the forces that be? You face those lions like a man and you die like a man!"

Sasuke ignored them both and locked the bathroom door behind him. He was beginning to get the feeling they didn't like him very much. They then told him that he was not to leave the bathroom until he'd put on the garb. He didn't have any chakra to beat the shit out of them with, so he'd skulked into the bathroom (but not before telling them off for breaking his door down – Yamato then fashioned a new one with his wood style jutsu and Sasuke calmed down a little).

Sasuke did, in the end, put on the yukata. He admitted it looked a little good on him, but in the same way a homosexual guy looks good when he dresses well. It was dark blue with a yellow sash, patterned with small white and lilac petals. It was definitely girlier than anything he was comfortable wearing – couldn't Naruto have gotten one that was plain? Obviously, with those two around, Sasuke had no choice but to put the yukata on. Still, the sight of it on him was embarrassing somehow, and he didn't leave the bathroom until he heard Naruto very loudly announce his own arrival by yelling:

"Yo, Sasuke! I hope you're not scared of heights – or toads – because Gamabunta can get a little carried away when people ride him!"

Sasuke felt his body seize up against the bathroom wall, his heartbeat growing faster. He didn't want to go. Looking like this or at all. He couldn't go on a date with Naruto, because what would happen afterwards? Things were good now. He had a friend now, and he didn't have anything else. He needed Naruto to be his friend, as much as he hated to admit it – wanted to swallow his own tongue at the thought of it – because without someone like Naruto there wasn't much else he could think of to live for. That's why he needed to restore his clan. Or rather, he needed something to drive him, he needed a goal to strive towards that might bring him happiness again, and restoring the Uchiha was the only thing he was good for aside from killing. Didn't Naruto get it? Why didn't he get it?

"Oi, Sasuke!" Naruto called, his voice sounding closer and slightly panicked. "You better not be hiding from me because I'll find you! Remember, you promised! This date is happening!"

Sai's voice came through the door, a bit muffled. "Hello, Naruto. Sasuke is in the bathroom getting ready. He should be done shortly."

"Oh, good," Naruto said, sounding relieved. Sasuke stared at himself in the mirror, wondering what to do. The yukata was looking worse the more seconds ticked by.

"He's been in there a while," Yamato pointed out, flipping through a magazine. "Should we check on him?"

"He might have killed himself to get out of it," Sai said, sounding only a little bit hopeful. "We didn't take that into account."

"Oops." Yamato shrugged.

The sound of something clattering to the floor, followed by Naruto shrieking at the two of them for their shoddy work, was the only warning Sasuke had before a hole the size of a Giant Rasengan was blown in the wall directly beside him. He jerked back as shards of tiled glass and random shrapnel scattered across the floor, ricocheted around the room like bouncy balls shaken in a snow globe. The lions guarding the window exploded into puddles of ink and flew in with the shattered glass of what was only moment ago the windowpane. Sasuke fisted his hands through his hair once the air settled, a thin sheen of plaster dust over the basin and shower, and watched Naruto step over the bricks dislodged from their layers of cement with a sheepish grin. First his door, now his wall – would his apartment live to see the next sunrise?

Probably not if Naruto planned on sticking around.

"Hey, Sasuke, thank god I thought you were dead!" He waved away some of the particles hanging in the air and coughed a bit. "Sorry about your wall, I uh…"

His stare fell to the garb that Sasuke had completely forgotten he was wearing, glazing over.

"Whoa," said Naruto distantly, eyes raking up and down Sasuke's body before he cleared his throat and tried to act casual. "Sir, you are pulling that look off. And damn well."

Sasuke, forgetting his unfathomable anger in a brief flash of self-conscious embarrassment, crossed his arms over the frock and twisted his face into the most intimidating glower he reserved especially for Naruto when he did something that managed to piss him off this much – which is a considerable amount. He had to close his eyes for a moment and count to three to stop himself from lashing out and killing him where he stood with all the raw, ballistic carnage of a man who had lost any semblance of humanity. It was difficult to form the right words – the words that would kill him instead, so he didn't have to get his hands dirty. He settled for anything that accurately depicted his rage.

"WHAT THE HELL, NARUTO!" he screamed. It wasn't enough. He racked his brain for more.

Sasuke needed to grab something to stop his fingers digging into his own flesh, latching onto the towel rack and bending it until it nearly snapped from the screws that drilled it in place. Naruto had the sense to shrink in on himself and back away so that Sasuke couldn't strangle him from where he stood.

Sasuke was considerably calmer when he raised his head, but there was still murder in his eyes and it spoke of them probably not going on a date tonight after all.

"You broke through my wall!" Sasuke stormed towards him and Naruto, in an attempt to flee, fell over himself and landed on the arm of Sasuke's couch. He fumbled backwards to brandish a pillow as a shield over his stomach. "Why didn't you just knock? Are you that retarded? As if I would kill myself! I could have been having a shower for all you know! Actually all I was doing was lamenting the fact that I have to go on a fucking date with the most unfortunate being to ever have been expelled from a uterus!"

Naruto felt as if he'd been punched right in the gut, despite the pillow, after all.

"…Sorry," he mumbled, hoping the weight Sasuke's words had on his wasn't too obvious. "Look, I'll fix your wall. It's not that bad, you know?"

The patch of ceiling behind them gave an ominous whine before concaving into the bathroom with a loud crash, planks of wood and roof tiles clattering and settling into a large clump of debris. A calm breeze whistled through the new gaping hole. It looked like a giant had taken a bite out of Sasuke's apartment.

Sasuke turned again to face him, slowly, his eyes squinting as if Naruto had done that on purpose. Naruto held his hands up conciliatorily.

"Oi, oi, that has to be termites or something, not me," he said.

Yamato and Sai slipped out of the door with a pleasantly bid 'have fun on your date!' and left the two to their "lover's quarrel".

"Hey, kid. Do you still need me here?" asked Gamabunta, his eye peeking in through the new window.

Unable to contain his rage any longer, Sasuke lunged at Naruto with the intent to kill.

"Ack! Gamabunta, immobilise!"

Millimetres before making contact, a large tongue whipped around Sasuke's torso and pulled him like a limp doll into the slimy toad's mouth, which promptly snapped shut.

"What the…!" Sasuke squirmed under the beast's hold, but the muscle only tightened around him further. It was too dark to see anything, and there was nothing to hear but the gurgling of Gamabunta's stomach and the sound of saliva trickling between his toes. "Naruto! Let me out, oh god, I'm serious it's slimy and disgusting in here Naruto!"

His voice echoed down the toad's oesophagus, and a few moments later its lips parted, but the tongue did not release him. Naruto's face appeared in the sliver of light from the outside, apologetic but resolved.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke! Just hold tight in there for now! I'll let you out when we get there. You really do look great, by the way. This is going to be worth it, I promise, just trust me!" He flashed him a smile before bounding up and onto the beast's head, calling back, "I'll make sure he leaves his mouth open so you can breathe!"

"Naruto! Naruto, no!" Sasuke squirmed harder but there was no way of escaping, not without his chakra. He was like a child in the hands (or mouth) of something like Gamabunta.

Naruto told Gamabunta to step on it and the thing lurched into the air, bounding over the entire village in one leap, leaving Sasuke's stomach behind. The wind blew his head back, might have decapitated him had he not drawn it in where the wind grew softer at the peak of the toad's jump, shoulders squaring to pillar his spine. His hair lashed at the apples of his cheeks and the nape of his neck hard enough to sting. Through the gap of the toad's mouth, he saw the rooftops of countless buildings melt together. Just as suddenly, all he could see was the blur of thousands of tree canopies blistering past them. The speed they travelled at was unbelievable; Sasuke felt like he was being pressed into a two-dimensional state.

"Oh god," Sasuke yelled, clenching his teeth. "I'm going to puke! I'm going to puke right in your mouth you fucking slimy old crusty ass tongue-thrashing shit summon bitch amphibian mother!"

"Don't listen to him. He uses big boy swears like a toddler when he's feeling helpless. Reverts back to a younger age only with a sailor's mouth," Naruto said dismissively. His voice was barely audible, carried away with the wind, but Sasuke heard him loud and clear and wanted to bite off his own tongue. Gamabunta chuckled, the sound rumbling in Sasuke's ears like a clap of thunder. "I'll let you out when you calm down!" Naruto shouted so Sasuke could hear.

"This will end in your death!" was the last thing Sasuke said before he was too dizzy to speak. He closed his eyes and told himself he could ride this thing out. He'd survive this. And Naruto definitely would not.

-x-

"Hey, wait, Gamabunta, you passed it! Go back, go back!"

Sasuke stirred at the sound; it had been maybe an hour of silence, and his stomach had adjusted from its motion sickness to a faint nausea that only made him a little bit woozy. He felt his stomach drop yet again when the giant toad stopped jumping so suddenly it actually grated on the joints between his bones, only for his heart to leap into his mouth when Gamabunta doubled back in the opposite direction. He'd finally gotten used to it, and now Sasuke could feel bile rising to his throat again, clenching his jaw and trying not to swallow.

Thankfully, they arrived moments later. The toad landed gently for a change. Sasuke raised his head once he was sure they'd stopped moving, squinting through the crack in Gamabunta's mouth at the darkened horizon and the faint glowing trail of something in the distance, flickering like wisps… what were they…?

"GACK!" Naruto promptly blocked Sasuke's vision with his upside-down head, grinning. "No peeking! Alright, Gamabunta, you can let him go now!"

"Sure you don't wanna blindfold him first?" the old thing boomed. Naruto's hair flew back at the force, but his jovial expression didn't change. Sasuke was sure his eardrums were ruptured.

Naruto flipped around and down onto his feet, landing on Gamabunta's inner lip and squelching over its tongue to approach Sasuke, who levelled him with the angriest glare one is capable of when they're tied up inside a toad's mouth. Naruto looked back fondly, as if he'd missed being looked at like a stain on Sasuke's favourite new shirt.

"Damn, Sasuke… your hair looks really good like that. All scruffed up." He paused. "Keep looking that good and I'm going to have to start calling you tutu!"

Sasuke stopped struggling against the tongue that bound him to give Naruto a questioning look. "…What?"

"Tasty Uchiha, times two. Get it? T-U-T-U."

Finally, the toad released him, and Sasuke fell forward on his hands and knees, panting. The pressure on his ribcage had been close to creating a fissure. He sucked in deep breaths too quickly, stars blotting his vision; he fought against the light-headedness that followed, wobbling to his feet only to stagger over again.

"He thought of that on the way over. Don't think he's being clever," Gamabunta informed him, his voice much clearer than it had been before now that he could form words properly.

As he spoke, his tongue wriggled and Sasuke stumbled onto his feet only to be spat onto the ground in a puddle of saliva, with Naruto surfing it and landing down beside him. Sasuke gagged, wiping the gunk off his arms and legs, rubbing against the grass to try and get clean. If he'd looked scruffy before, he definitely looked worse now. The saliva was almost like gel with the way it stuck Sasuke's hair up in all different directions, and Naruto was in no better condition. He landed beside Sasuke on the grass with a wet sound, laughing. Damn toad – he'd better not get warts.

When he'd managed to rub his eyes clean, Sasuke glanced around for something to lave himself with, his eyes landing on a small, clear pond. Without a second thought Sasuke was jumping to his feet and lumbering straight through, until the water lapped at his lower back.

"Oi, Sasuke, where are you going?" Naruto asked. Sasuke ignored him. With a deep breath, he ducked under and the water filled his ears, drowning out the sound of Naruto's incessant laughter that was really beginning to grate on his nerves.

It was nice under the water – he felt the dirt and grime and saliva lifting from his skin to drift away in a soft current that swirled endlessly around. He cracked open an eye to see mud squelching between his toes, small fish nibbling his ankles. Air bubbles fizzled past his ears. It tickled.

Sasuke would have liked to stay under there, if only to avoid having to look at Naruto ever again. Unfortunately, lungs were made of softer things than willpower. They screamed for air, and Sasuke broke to the surface, gasping and dragging himself back to shore, the weight of his clothes threatening to pull him back under. He trudged until he was on dry land again, leaving behind the clear pool and fairy tale fish in favour of warm blades of grass, falling to his knees and just trying to catch his breath, every so often shaking water from his hair. Gamabunta glanced at Naruto (how come Naruto looked so spotless?), who nodded, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke that brought a gust of air through the trees and made Sasuke shiver. Naruto was watching him, a hand over his mouth to hold back his laughter. That was when Sasuke remembered he was angry.

Unfortunately, Naruto anticipated as much, sobering up and rushing to his side. He unzipped his jacket, letting it fall over Sasuke's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. Somehow, for some reason, Sasuke's anger was immediately quashed, which only frustrated him further. "I just…"

Naruto brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head, lowering his eyes, letting them absently trail up Sasuke's body. Remembering the embarrassing yukata he'd been forced to wear, he self-consciously hunched in on himself a little further, draping an arm over his shoulder and fisting the other around the warm fabric of Naruto's jacket. He was in a yukata. He was dripping wet. He was embarrassed.

But the way Naruto was looking at him made Sasuke feel like he was the one in the wrong here.

"Whatever…" Sasuke fought against the chattering of his teeth – the sun, which had been straining to remain risen for the past half hour, had finally given in and set behind the mountains. It was too cold to be dripping wet in the middle of the forest by now, but he endured it, if only to save face and try and abolish that puppy-dog apologetic look Naruto was giving him. "You won the fight fair and square, so. Let's just get this over with."

Naruto's looked disheartened, pursing his lips. "Right. Okay then. We'd better go."

Naruto held out his hand. Keeping one hand clutched furiously over the open jacket front to keep his yukata from falling off his shoulders with the water weight, Sasuke smacked the offered hand away and stood to his feet, avoiding Naruto's eyes. He stood there, staring at his shoes, for a moment. Naruto cleared his throat.

"Follow me."

Sasuke blinked up at Naruto's retreating back, disappearing into the wall of forest trees.

"Hey, wait…!"

Realising he had no idea how to get back to the village without Naruto's help, Sasuke stumbled forward into the thick darkness, leaving the clearing, his feet squelching in his sandals. Moonlight streaked in patches through the canopy, spelling patterns on the floor that Sasuke would have been blind without. It was terribly cold; Sasuke slipped his arms through the jacket and wrung out some of the water from the frontside of his yukata, blinking about in the gloom. It would have been a lot easier to navigate through the darkness if he could use his sharingan, but there was no point lamenting over that now, since the chakra in his eyes had been cut off by one of his parole officers after his and Naruto's fight yesterday. He relied partly on hearing to listen out for Naruto's feet crunching into the dry leaves of the forest floor, catching a glimpse of orange every so often to help him find his way, until suddenly Naruto was standing right in front of him with a soft smile that made something in Sasuke's stomach flutter.

Naruto linked his thumb and forefinger around Sasuke's wrist softly, and brought it up into a stream of moonlight, opening his palm. Sasuke watched with hooded eyes, Naruto's fingers dropping into the palm of his hand a collection of small, circular tokens. Etched in the wooden centre of each, on one side there was a fan, on the other side a swirl.

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "What's this?" he asked softly; he didn't want to break the weird hush that had fallen over his senses.

Naruto was staring at him, that same intense look in his eyes he sometimes got that Sasuke couldn't bear for too long without feeling unusual in a way he didn't care to analyse. His smile spread into a grin. "You need coins, for the booths. There's an Uzumaki and Uchiha symbol on both sides 'cos we're two sides of the same coin. Cool idea, hey."

Sasuke swallowed – his mouth was suddenly dry. He refused to meet Naruto's eyes, instead trailing again and again over the lines of his clan's symbol, next to Naruto's. "…Booths?"

As if he'd been waiting for the chance all night, Naruto let go of Sasuke's wrist, and swept a waterfall of vines out from behind him in a grand gesture to reveal the most incredible festival grounds Sasuke had ever seen.

In front of him, a welcome banner flapped lightly in a large, messy scrawl, reading 'entrance'. Like a maze, booths had been set up in the middle of a flat, treeless domain to create pathways that twisted and turned further than Sasuke could see from where he stood. The night hung heavy with lanterns, flickering like the wisps Sasuke thought he'd seen earlier, strung out in rows that cast gentle shadows. The smells of festival food wafted together in a hodgepodge that made Sasuke's stomach growl. Manning the stalls was a countless legion of Naruto doppelgängers, wearing a mockery of the outfit Sasuke had to wear when he worked the stalls on Fridays, grinning at him from all directions. He noticed there wasn't anyone else loitering about the stands.

"What's the occasion?" he asked. Sasuke was sure today was an ordinary day on the calendar.

"Love, of course!" Naruto replied brightly.

Sasuke blinked in surprise. Took in the handmade signs, clones serving up display food, lack of anyone else. Did that mean Naruto had actually made a festival for him in the middle of the forest? There's no way he could have. There were so many booths and stalls and things, it would have taken days for one person to set this all up. Then again, Naruto could be more than one person if he wanted to, Sasuke thought, looking about at the hundreds of Naruto's that were cooking and working stalls and smiling at him. As if to prove this further, a pair of clones rushed over to them from the sidelines with some large rolled towels, bowing as they knelt and offered them up like a sacrifice.

"Welcome, Sasuke!" they sang in unison. "We hope you enjoy your stay at the Sasuke Uzumaki Festival Resort!"

"Sasuke Uzumaki…?" Sasuke turned to the real Naruto with a raised eyebrow, who smiled softly.

"I couldn't think of anything else to call it, so I just put our names together. But it suits you," he said sheepishly, taking one of the proffered towels and dabbing his hair with it.

Sasuke scowled, but said nothing, nodding to the clone before taking one of the towels also and removing Naruto's jacket so it could rest over his shoulders. The towel was warm, and that warmth seeped into his hypothermic skin. He sighed, drawing it in closer, patting himself dry.

Naruto wasn't all that wet, but he still dried himself from head to toe before handing the towel back to one of his clones with a shared grin. Sasuke shook his hair into it before finally giving it back, also – his hair was still a little unkempt, but retained its customary style, which was all that mattered. Not that Sasuke cared about his hair or anything, but he'd realised that he'd gone almost an entire day's sleep and then been forced to come along without having a shower or brushing his teeth or anything, so on top of being covered in toad saliva, Sasuke wasn't feeling all that presentable.

The two clones bowed once more before turning on their heels and sprinting away with the used towels billowing out behind them. One of them hollered at the other and tripped him over, and he poofed out of existence, causing the other to boom with laughter. Naruto clicked his tongue at them.

"They're very energetic," Sasuke noted.

"Yeah, well, they're me," Naruto said simply. Sasuke turned to see Naruto holding out his hand with one bent behind his back, that soft smile still playing on his lips. "May I escort Madame?"

Sasuke glowered. "I am not a 'madame', and no, you may not."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine. What do you want to do first?"

Sasuke let his eyes roam the clearing once more. The sound of a hundred Naruto's calling him over to their stalls and chattering amongst themselves was enough to give him a headache. He noticed that more clones had materialised, dressed in funny costumes to give the impression of a crowd. A couple of them had even changed into the Sexy Jutsu so it looked like there were girls there, too. He rubbed his temple, feeling a little overwhelmed by all the preparation Naruto had gone through.

"I dunno. You decide, I guess."

Naruto grinned, linking his arm through Sasuke's. "Okay! There's something I wanted to show you, anyway!"

Sasuke was whisked away from the entrance through the innermost path of stalls, halfway down the middle. They passed some kiosks selling watame cotton candies and chocolate dipped bananas, ikayaki squid on sticks, grilled yakitori chicken, takoyaki pancakes and fried yakisoba noodles before Naruto stopped in front of an Omen stall.

Sasuke blinked when he saw the masks on display. He might have laughed if he wasn't bent on acting like he wasn't enjoying himself. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt Naruto's feelings, he just didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Still, the more he looked, the less funny and the more creepy the masks seemed. "It's you… and me…"

Masks of varying expressions comprised entirely of Naruto and Sasuke's faces were on sale, for the modest price of one kiss on the cheek each. Naruto grinned proudly. "You like it? Here, I'll buy you one!"

Before Sasuke could react, Naruto leant over and planted a wet kiss on the apple of Sasuke's left cheek. Sasuke jerked away with a snarl, and Naruto crooned, taking a mask of himself grinning like an idiot before snapping it over the side of Sasuke's face. Sasuke adjusted the strap with a frown, but he didn't take it off. Naruto beamed.

"You look good with me on you," he said, giving Sasuke a leer. He was so surprised by this comment that Sasuke actually choked.

"That's terrible, Naruto. Someone should slap you." Sasuke turned his head away so Naruto wouldn't see the smile that threatened to break his face in half. He wondered why he wasn't more annoyed by the whole situation. Honestly, though, who could be mad when their best friend had turned a random forest clearing into a private festival just for the two of them to enjoy?

"I'll let you slap me if you promise to kiss it better," Naruto grinned, turning his cheek towards Sasuke and beckoning to him. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Come on," Sasuke said, turning back to the rows of food stalls, "I'm hungry."

-x-

It was nothing like any festival Sasuke had been to before.

Not just because everywhere he looked, there were Naruto's, and the real Naruto was glued to his side. There was so much variety, like every festival had been mashed together into on big event with so many random activities it should have been called the Diversity Festival.

Sasuke ate. There was so much food he didn't know where to begin, so he had a little bit of everything: frankfurts, shaved ice, crepes, ramune (he'd never had that before – it was a carbonated drink with a marble stuck inside, and Naruto convinced him to try it – he liked the lemon flavoured one), savoury okonomiyaki pancakes, corn cobs, grilled potatoes, salty sea bream, taiyaki, dango (he didn't like it very much and gave the rest to Naruto, who then kept screeching about an indirect kiss to the rest of his clones who all cheered), scallops and finally a whole basket of tomatoes, which was something untraditional that Naruto had brought in especially for Sasuke. Needless to say, Sasuke was very pleased. He told Naruto this, and regretted it instantly, because Naruto went around high-fiving his clones and congratulating them on a job well done and thanking them for getting him one step closer to the inside of Sasuke's pants. Sasuke punched him.

On the other side of the grounds, there was a stage with a karaoke machine set up in front of some chairs for an audience (once again, comprised entirely of Naruto clones). Naruto stood on the edge of the stage and looked down at Sasuke expectantly.

"No," he said firmly.

"Come oooon," Naruto begged, falling to his knees and beckoning wildly with his hands. "The crowd is waiting! You can't disappoint them, this is show business Sasuke, and the show must go on."

"That does nothing to convince me." Sasuke glared. "Besides, I disappoint you all the time, I have no problem disappointing a crowd of you's."

Naruto was determined, pulling Sasuke up the stairs with little resistance and padding to the pair of microphones set up and tapping one with a few fingers.

"Testing, one two, testing." Naruto cleared his throat and waved at the crowd, who whistled and cheered. "Hey everybody, thanks for coming out tonight. I'd like to dedicate this next song to my awesome boyfriend Sasuk—"

"I am not his boyfriend," Sasuke said loudly into the other microphone, appearing at Naruto's side in a flash. Naruto grinned.

"—It's called Stupid Uchiha Bastard, by Hokage-sama."

Sasuke gave him a flat look and stormed back off the stage before he was roped into singing along.

Naruto cleared his throat, sipping from a bottle of water that one of his clones provided and sitting it down by his feet. He then proceeded to sing in the scratchiest, throatiest tone-deaf melody Sasuke had ever had the misfortune to hearken to.

"Sasuke starts with S,

As do many other things,

Like the way your eyes Sparkle,

With the shine of golden rings!

"Sasuke is Sexy,

Sasuke is Smart,

Sasuke can't Sing,

That's just for a Start!

"But it doesn't matter how many times

I say I love him So,

He always gives me that Same mean look

And tells me I should go!

"Sasuke is a Stupid Uchiha Bastard!

But I love him anyway!

Stupid Uchiha Bastard!

But I'd kiss him everyday!

Seeeeexy, suuuultry, smaaaart, sweeeet, spaaaaarkly, saaaassy, stupeeendous, suuuper, sarcaaaastic, seeeelfish, stiiiingy, stuuuubborn, stuuuupid, Saaaaaasuke Uchiha bastaaaard—"

Sasuke stormed over to the sound desk (operated by a handful of clones in work clothes who squawked at him indignantly when he came over) and pulled out the microphone from its speaker. Naruto's voice cut out in the middle of the second chorus, but he didn't care, laughing loud enough he didn't need a microphone. The crowd went nuts. Naruto, sweating and panting like he'd just run a marathon, held his hands up and bowed, flashing a smile like diamonds.

"Thanks guys! You've been great!" he hollered. Sasuke shook his head at the crowd, going ballistic. He knew they were just clones, but still, he didn't want to be humiliated any longer. What a stupid song. Sasuke tried to shake the blush off his cheeks, ignoring the wolf whistles he received from the nearest clones and claps on the shoulder.

The real Naruto jumped down from the stage, swatting the others away and steering Sasuke through a couple of Naruto's performing a Bon Dance and towards a row of stalls featuring festival games. Sasuke stubbornly refused to look at him, but he acknowledged the paper net Naruto pressed into his hand, fishing one of the tokens out of his sleeve that Naruto had given him earlier.

"Have you played Kingyo Sukui before?" the stall manager clone asked, taking the token with a smile and gesturing to a tub of water. Inside swam an assortment of goldfish, some orange, some black, as well as a handful of baby turtles. Sasuke ignored him, rolling up his sleeves when the real Naruto sidled up beside him with his own fishing net. They shared a look out of the corner of their eyes.

"Bet I can catch more than you," Naruto said lowly.

Sasuke smirked. "Prove it."

-x-

Sasuke walked away from the stand empty-handed – Naruto had cheated, he was sure of it, and used a mild water jutsu to change the flow of the water so that the fish were drawn to his net rather than Sasuke's. He'd given the fish to Sasuke afterwards as a sort of peace offering, which he took because he actually really liked goldfish and hadn't managed to catch a single one. It didn't matter, though – the fish scooping game was a lame sport that anyone could do. Sasuke still beat him at ring toss, cork shooting and water balloon yoyo, which required precision and focus, neither of which Naruto had. (Sasuke had a niggling suspicion that Naruto let him win the other games to be nice… but that's ridiculous. Just because Naruto thought this was a date didn't mean he let him win the big fluffy panda bear on purpose. Sasuke won Oreo fair and square.)

It was difficult to carry all those prizes around with him, though, so when Naruto offered to seal them away into a small scroll for him, Sasuke was eager to accept. He slipped the mask off the side of his face (he'd almost forgotten he was wearing it) as well as the large stuffed panda, the bag of goldfish, a yo-yo he'd probably never use, a novelty bag and some other random festival prizes that held little value but he still wasn't willing to part with.

It felt like they'd only been there for ten minutes or so, but one of the clones (dressed as an elderly man in suspenders and loafers) had a watch, and it turned out it was already midnight. So, if he'd left his house at around six, and the 'ride' in Gamabunta's mouth lasted maybe an hour, they'd arrived at seven. Five hours, more or less? They'd been at the festival together for that long? How did that happen?

Some of the stalls they'd already visited had put up signs saying 'closed' in big red letters. There was only a handful open now, selling food, but the abundance of Naruto clones had dissipated and now the original and Sasuke were the only ones left. Even the food vendors had simply wrapped the meals up in tin foil and poofed away.

Naruto looked up at the sky distantly, his eyebrows furrowing. He looked worried.

"Oi," said Sasuke. Naruto blinked at him.

"Huh?"

"You're zoning out." Sasuke glanced up at the sky to see what Naruto was looking at, but there was nothing other than faded lanterns and cloudy skies. "Is something going on?"

"Eeh…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "No, no… gimme a second. I'll be right back."

Sasuke watched Naruto jog back towards the entrance and behind a large wooden structure (when did that get there?), bewildered. The sound of a few Naruto clones arguing filtered through the silence, as well as poofing sounds and hazes of clone dust that dispelled in the breeze. Ignoring Naruto's instructions, Sasuke approached the wooden wall and peered behind it curiously. Before he had a chance to see what was going on, a clone pulled him from behind and whirled him back in the other direction. Sasuke paused, briefly disoriented, then turned to face the mongrel with a glare.

"What the hell?" he demanded.

The clone was dressed in a sharp suit and dark sunglasses. Who wears sunglasses at midnight? "Sorry Mr Uchiha," he said, with no small bit of authority, "restricted access. I've been told not to ruin the surprise."

"Surprise?" Hadn't there been enough surprises already? Something shuffled beside him – a group of doppelgängers were muttering just in front of the wooden wall, setting up pairs of lawn chairs, a spread of ice tea with little umbrellas and straws, a bowl of popcorn, a picnic blanket with floor pillows and some earmuffs. Sasuke watched them glance up at him in surprise, then alarm, and scamper away almost tripping over themselves into some bushes nearby. "…the hell though…"

"Sasuke!" The only way Sasuke knew this was the real Naruto was because he was the only one dressed in that hideous orange jumpsuit. Still, he was a little sceptical until he took him by the elbow and led him towards the set up. "Floor or chairs?" he asked, gesturing between the lawn chairs and picnic blanket spread.

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"Just pick one," Naruto urged, smiling in a way that assured Sasuke there was nothing to worry about.

Hesitant, Sasuke examined the lawn chairs and decided he'd be more comfortable on the floor, sitting cross-legged on one of the pillows. Naruto grinned like he'd been hoping Sasuke would, plopping down beside him. He fluffed a pillow then propped it up behind his back, then retrieved the pair of earmuffs and offered one to him. Sasuke blinked at it and didn't move.

"Trust me, you'll need these," Naruto told him, stretching it out and placing it over Sasuke's ears for him before adjusting his own. Once they were secure, Naruto cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "ALRIGHT GUYS! WE'RE READY!"

"What's going on…?"

Naruto pulled the bowl of popcorn into his lap and ate an entire handful in one bite, offering some to Sasuke, who declined.

"Naruto, I said, what's going on?" he pressed.

Sasuke received no reply; instead, Naruto pushed him down to lie on his back, spreading himself out beside him and chucking the popcorn off somewhere. Sasuke was very aware of how close they were – Naruto's hand barely, just barely, brushed his, and he turned his head so that it was near enough to rest on Sasuke's shoulder. He was glad for the earmuffs then, otherwise Naruto might have heard the way Sasuke's heartbeat picked up just that little bit – it was deafening to his own ears. What concerned him the most, more than how absolutely clueless he was as to what they were doing (stargazing?), was how strong the urge to reach out and touch Naruto was. He'd had such a good time, and as much as he refused to speak it aloud there was no denying he was attracted to him – he couldn't help it. That much attention was difficult to ignore. They'd been friends forever. Naruto had more than proved his loyalty to him, had gone out of his way to show Sasuke he was precious to him. And Naruto was so nice…

Sasuke's finger twitched, and he curled his hands into fists. There were so many reasons he just couldn't. Too many responsibilities he had to his clan, too much to lose. He couldn't.

But god, Sasuke wanted to.

Just when he was listing to himself the reasons he and Naruto couldn't be together just to repress the knots in his stomach that doubled by the second, a flash of orange fizzled and shot out from behind the large wooden wall, making him jerk in surprise. Naruto crowed and clapped his hands, and a moment later Sasuke identified the object that was ricocheting into the sky as one of Naruto's clones, just before the thing exploded into a ball of light. It sparked and melted into nothing. Fireworks – Naruto's clones were propelling themselves into the air, lighting themselves on fire, and exploding into fireworks.

Sasuke sat up in alarm, shaking Naruto's arm. "Hey! Doesn't that hurt?" he asked.

Naruto grabbed his shoulders and lay him back down with a chuckle. "Don't worry," he shouted so Sasuke could hear, "they're just expelling their chakra! Real fireworks are really expensive, so I had to make do! Shikamaru showed me how so it's really safe!"

Another group of Naruto's were flung into the air right above their heads, bursting in a cacophony of shrieks and popping that made Sasuke want to scream and laugh hysterically at the same time. He did, actually – squawked and then cackled like a mad man after, and Naruto gave him an unbelievably amused look, joining in with the ugliest laugh Sasuke had ever seen which only made him laugh harder. There was something frighteningly entertaining about seeing Naruto throw himself into the air and then explode into a sparkling mess, and the stream of Naruto's didn't seem to end, to the point where Sasuke was rolling onto his side and crying with laughter, stomach hurting almost as much as his strained cheeks.

"Oh my god!" he yelled, over and over. He didn't realise until the fireworks show was almost over that Naruto was watching him, his laughter much more controlled for once, with that same ridiculously sappy look on his face that Sasuke usually couldn't bear to look at. But now, Sasuke stopped laughing (with great difficulty – it felt good to laugh) and stared back, something strange swirling in his gut.

Don't kiss him, he reminded himself. The thought surprised him. Of course he wouldn't, that was absurd. A clone popped above them – this one's pants had fallen off and landed on one of the lawn chairs behind them, re-igniting Sasuke's laughter, but now his laughter was nervous. Don't kiss him. Don't.

Sasuke sat up, his eyes turning to the sky. Naruto was quick to mimic him like he knew what was going through Sasuke's mind, his eyes intense… they flickered to Sasuke's lips, then to his eyes, back to his lips…

Don't kiss him, his mind warned, but he was already staring back at Naruto, at all that blue. Why were they so blue? It was annoying. He couldn't stop focusing on them. From the corner of his eye Sasuke knew the fireworks were still going – he wanted to keep watching but he couldn't turn away, not when Naruto was looking at him like that, so hopeful and longing that it made Sasuke's throat tight and his heart beat and his lungs burn…

Don't, his mind screamed as he leaned in. Sasuke stopped just before their lips touched, the alarm bells in his mind almost as loud as the hammering in his heart. Naruto wasted no time in closing the gap between them.

There were two kinds of fireworks when they kissed. Sasuke felt cheesy and annoyed at himself for choosing the sappiest moment to lean in, but that feeling was brief, his mind scattered – how could he focus on anything but the rough press of Naruto's lips against his? There was no jutsu in the world that could produce electricity like this. It was so warm. His hands made their way from Naruto's chin, over his jawline and following the hair up the nape of his neck. One travelled down over Naruto's shoulder and onto his chest, the pads of his fingers so soft – there were lines on his chest that they followed, traced, trailed, he couldn't stop. He wanted to touch.

Sasuke had never kissed anyone properly before, but it didn't take long for them to find a clumsy rhythm. Sasuke didn't realise he'd closed his eyes until he broke for a quick breath – he'd completely forgotten about oxygen – but Naruto captured his mouth again so quickly and so eagerly it was useless, his breath was stolen in an instant. Sasuke didn't know how something as stupid and pointless as a kiss could make his whole body feel so hypersensitive but it did – Naruto's hands roamed over his chest and it felt so good, he tugged at the sleeves of Naruto's shirt in a request he didn't even know he was making. He wanted Naruto to come closer, to push him down and press against him.

It was the thought that ran briefly but so clearly and urgently through his mind, that he wanted Naruto to take his clothes off and touch his actual skin, that made Sasuke break the kiss. Naruto sensed his unease and put one hand behind Sasuke's head to keep him from moving away, pressing their foreheads together, his breaths shallow. Sasuke's eyes fluttered open and he saw that Naruto's cheeks were red… oh, god… his lips were slick…

"Sasuke…"

His voice rumbled through Sasuke's chest. He wanted it to be closer, for Naruto to whisper in his ear. He wanted to slap himself for all the wanton thoughts rushing through his head. I told you not to kiss him, his mind chastised. Look what you did. Sasuke had never wanted anything the way he wanted Naruto right then.

"…I call them…" Naruto's voice was hoarse, and Sasuke could tell he wanted it too, that thing Sasuke knew he'd never have the guts to ask for. "…I call them 'Narutoworks'…"

Sasuke blinked. He leaned back. "…What?"

"The fireworks," Naruto continued, finally opening his eyes. They were shining, and he grinned. "Cool name, right?"

Sasuke pursed his lips. "Are you fucking retarded," he deadpanned.

Naruto's expression fell. "Eh?"

That burning desire that had pooled in his stomach was sucked away like water down a drain. Sasuke wanted to slap him. "You are the exact opposite of smooth," he informed him.

"Oh, shit, um…" Naruto scratched his head. "Sorry! It's just! I was going to tell you right before you kissed me, and I almost forgot, but I thought it was really important for you to know before I forgot, because when you kissed me I couldn't really think about anything else and uh…"

"You kissed me," Sasuke made sure to mention.

"Yeah, I mean. Yeah. Or Fire-tos. Or Naruworks. Which do you like better?" Naruto looked very serious.

"I don't give a shit!" Sasuke all but yelled. "Let me explain something to you. What just happened – I don't do that often. What I wanted to do because of it – that never happens. And now it's never going to happen again. Goodbye."

Sasuke stood, his mind racing, leaving Naruto looking quite stunned and unsure what to do. He couldn't believe he'd just done that. After all the mental preparation he'd put himself through! What would his parents think! How would his unborn children feel if they'd known he'd betrayed them? Sasuke wanted to drown himself in his shame. And that ridiculous reaction – that overwhelming need – he shouldn't feel that, not for a guy, not for Naruto. He knew that, so why was it happening to him? What was wrong with him? He'd known he was attracted to Naruto, sure, but it hadn't ever felt anything like this. He'd never felt like… like taking his clothes off or anything, that was just…!

"Hey, you dumb bastard, where are you going!" Naruto ran up behind him and matched his strides, looking completely bewildered. "I'm sorry! I just wanted you to know what they were called! If you really don't like the name I can change it—"

"You're so stupid!" Sasuke ground out, frustrated beyond belief. "I don't care about your stupid fireworks! I'm talking about… about the kiss!"

If Naruto had looked confused before, he looked a whole world of confused now. "Didn't you like it?"

"No…ugh! I did, that's the problem."

"Uhh…"

Sasuke fisted his hands through his hair. "I tried explaining this to you before. My clan, when I was growing up. If they knew that I liked a guy, they'd disown me. Besides I have to marry a woman." Sasuke was surprised at how coherently he'd managed to explain something he often struggled to understand himself.

Naruto blinked. "Um… you know, I'm not asking you to marry me or anything…"

Sasuke sighed in an attempt to suppress his annoyance. "I know that, idiot. But you've made it very clear that you have feelings for me, and if I start to reciprocate those feelings, I'm not going to be very interested in marrying a woman, am I?"

Finally, something seemed to click in Naruto's mind. "Oh. You're worried that… you won't be able to restore your clan," he said cautiously.

A pang went through Sasuke's chest, but he refused to let it show. "Something like that," he muttered.

Naruto was silent for a moment, his eyes low.

"There's other ways, though," he tried, perking up a little. "I've asked Sakura about it before. I didn't want to bring it up with you, because… well, it's a sensitive subject… but, you know, there are lots of ways or people who can't have children together to have a baby."

Sasuke swallowed. An image of him and Naruto with a child tugged at the back of his mind, but he shook it away. "Can't," he said quickly.

Naruto's whole expression seemed to crumble. "But…"

Sasuke took a deep breath, folding his arms. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew, yet he still let himself get dragged along. He felt so stupid, what was wrong with him?

"But we're in love, Sasuke," Naruto said at length.

Sasuke snapped his head up so fast he felt it crack. Naruto didn't even flinch, like he was simply stating facts. His hands began to sweat, his heart beating like they were leaning in for their kiss all over again. In love? Who says that? Who does that, putting their best friend on the spot, saying something so ridiculous? Sasuke was dumbfounded.

Naruto, cool-headed and serious, approached him until their chests were almost close enough to be touching.

"I told you," he said softly. Sasuke felt light; strangely, the only thing running through his head was that he had to actually look up at Naruto now – when did that happen? "We're two sides of the same coin. Nothing happens on one side without the other side knowing about it. I can feel it, Sasuke. We've always been like that. We don't need words, we have our bond. Our bond says more than words ever could."

He leaned in, their breaths mingling, to press a feather-light kiss on Sasuke's upper lip, then his lower lip. His teeth grazed the skin there. Sasuke sighed.

"I love you…" he said. Sasuke's heart soared. "…You love me." He paused; Sasuke gave in to more of his time-stopping kisses. He felt like his whole body would start melting if they got any closer. "…We're a happy family." Naruto grinned, unable to help himself.

"Oh my god," Sasuke said, punching Naruto in the arm. "You are actually that fucking annoying." Naruto only laughed.

He stepped away from Naruto's warmth just so he could breathe, think, make coherent judgements. In the midst of his confusion, Sasuke felt a yawn coming on – he'd forgotten how late it was. Even though he'd had an incredible amount of sleep, he still didn't have much energy, and now that the night's activities were drawing to a close he was beginning to feel heavy. He brought a hand up to his mouth and yawned, his eyes watering.

"Tired?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shrugged. "Come on, then."

Naruto rested his hands on Sasuke's shoulders and steered him through the darkened festival grounds – all the clones seemed to have disappeared, and now, they really were alone. He was grateful that Naruto had decided to drop the subject for now – otherwise he might end up doing something crazy.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked. He was too frazzled with sleepiness and kiss-fogged brain cells to really feel indignant at being treated like a child, but he did put in the effort of shaking Naruto off of him and frowning to show his disapproval.

"Why do you think it's called the Sasuke Uzumaki Festival Resort?" Naruto asked, leading him behind a particularly large stall where the stage equipment had been installed but was now gone, revealing a small, wooden shack-like structure. Sasuke eyed it with disdain.

"What is that thing," he asked warily.

"It's where we'll be spending the night!" Sasuke's eyes widened in horror. "What? Don't worry, I had Yamato make it for us earlier today. It's fully furnished and everything. Take a look inside."

Sasuke was doubtful, but he complied, testing its stability with a kick to the outside wall. When it proved sturdy, he chanced a glimpse in through a crack in the front door – there might be traps set up lying in wait for him, knowing Yamato.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Naruto impatiently, pushing the door wide open and stepping inside. "Look, there's nothing to worry about, I promise."

Sasuke shook his head, stubbornly refusing to step inside. There was a pair of double beds in the room, as well as what he assumed to be a bathroom and a small kitchen, but obviously none of the power would be working if Yamato had used a jutsu. Sasuke shuddered – the thought of sleeping in one of Yamato's jutsu's was unnerving in itself. He was too experienced as a shinobi to trust this situation.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Look, this bed's mine, and that one's yours!" Naruto gestured to a bed with orange sheets and blue sheets in turn. "You don't have to worry about me making a move on you."

Sasuke pressed his lips into a thin line, taking a cautious step through the door. When nothing happened, he relaxed, but only slightly. Naruto laughed at him.

"Come oooon, Sasuke!" He kicked off his shoes, jumping on his bed. "Don't you wanna jump on the bed with me? They're really bouncy!" Naruto leapt onto Sasuke's bed. "This is actually really fun!" He laughed, bouncing higher. "Come on, jump with m—"

A pair of wooden branches whipped out from underneath Sasuke's appointed bed and pinned Naruto to the floor, then shook him about like a ragdoll. He screeched, flailing against its hold – Sasuke blinked in surprise when suddenly the entire bed caught fire, and the branches that had latched onto Naruto then lifted him over the lambent flames as if threatening to slow-roast him.

Luckily Sasuke was quick on his feet, because just before the branches released him and let Naruto burn, he bounced off the adjacent wall and used the momentum to knock Naruto out of the way. Moments later, the entire bed crumpled in on itself, snapping in half with a grinding crunch. Sasuke and Naruto stared at the debris, gobsmacked.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Naruto squawked. "What was Yamato thinking! He could have killed you!"

Sasuke just gave Naruto a look that said 'I told you so' before high-tailing it out of there, with Naruto on his heels. The second they were both out the door, Naruto pulled a massive Rasengan out of his ass and obliterated the shack into a pile of hissing, splintered wood.

"Well," Naruto said, wiping the dirt off his hands after a job well done, "Looks like we won't be spending the night here after all. Oh well."

Sasuke was a bit annoyed at how blasé Naruto sounded about his near-death experience, but he wasn't the kind of guy to hold a grudge, so it wasn't all that surprising. He hoped Naruto at least kicked Yamato's ass for that. Not likely, though.

"Guess I'll call Gamabunta!" Sasuke gave him a sharp look. "Or… we could, you know, walk…"

Sasuke turned and started home.

-x-

"Thanks," Sasuke mumbled.

They had been walking for hours non-stop, feet throbbing and fatigued as hell – the sun would rise before they slipped into bed, but thankfully, they had grown over-tired in the hours of maddening trekking through Konoha's endlessly winding forest, which Naruto seemed to know his way through by heart. It had been silent between them for almost ten minutes now, both of them having exhausted conversation and settling into a silence they were both comfortable enough to endure, when Sasuke said something Naruto was so surprised to hear he was sure he'd misunderstood.

"Come again?"

Sasuke bristled. "You heard me, Naruto."

"Did I?" he asked, genuinely. "For what, then?"

"For this," Sasuke said. "It's been fun."

Naruto's heart swelled with pride. "Really? I kinda thought it ended in a bit of a disaster, to be honest."

If Sasuke squinted, he could see the road that grew wider lead to Konoha's borders, and he let out a sigh. They were almost there.

"I don't mind, actually," said Sasuke, feeling weirdly honest. "I probably would have minded if it were anyone else, but this kind of thing always seems to happen with us anyway. It's kind of our trademark for things to go horribly wrong. So… it's okay."

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "That. That's potentially the only quasi-nice thing you've ever said to me."

"That's not true," Sasuke answered, a little breathless. It had been a while since he'd had time for proper training that pushed him to his limits like this. He felt really out of shape.

"Disregarding all the names you call me," Naruto corrected, "because I know that's how you show that you love me."

Sasuke glowered. "By no means is anything I have ever said to you meant to be affectionate, romantically or otherwise."

"But you just said thanks!" Naruto countered. Knowing they were almost back gave them the energy to pick up their pace.

"Yes, well." Sasuke lifted his chin, in that annoying expression of superiority that was an almost constant feature of Sasuke's character. "People say thanks to complete strangers. People say thanks when a door is held open for them, or to their parents on Mother's or Father's day. Doesn't mean they want to jump their bones."

Naruto's shoulders slumped. "Sheesh. We were almost having a moment, too."

"I'd die before letting that happen."

He sniffed. "Well, I was going to offer to walk you home, but you're being kind of an asshole."

"Fine, I'll walk by myself." Sasuke overtook him.

"…No, I'll walk you."

Their conversation lapsed back into silence until they were safely back inside Konoha's walls. The guards on duty were fast asleep, which was a relief – Naruto had almost forgotten Sasuke wasn't supposed to leave the village. If someone found out he'd broken the rules, they'd be in a lot of trouble. Yamato and Sai had sworn not to tell, but he should have been more careful. It was pure luck they weren't caught just then.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"What."

"Thanks to you, too."

Sasuke gave Naruto a look like he was stupid. "Why?"

"For coming on a date with me. It's just… you made me really happy! More than you could ever know," he said, grinning. Naruto's face was dirty, and he was sweating, and there were large bags under his eyes, but looking at that smile made Sasuke feel overly fond to the point where he was embarrassed for himself. Sasuke took a deep breath, pausing in the middle of the deserted Konoha street, his head down. Naruto blinked back at him. "Eh? Sasuke?"

"Hey…" Sasuke's voice was quiet.

"Yeah? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah." Sasuke raised his head, his eyes glancing off to the side. "I just remembered something."

"What?" Naruto asked, dreading the thought of having to go all the way back to the forest clearing just because Sasuke had left something behind.

"My apartment is falling apart. I can't go back there," he said with a tinge of annoyance.

Naruto balked, smacking himself on the head. "Oh, right, sorry about that! Um, promise I'll have my clones fix it later. Are there any inns nearby you think?"

"No," said Sasuke. He still didn't raise his eyes. "I'll have to find somewhere else."

"Oh, you mean something fancier?" Naruto should have known, Sasuke was a pretty well-off guy, he'd feel uncomfortable at an inn. "Like a hotel?"

"I was thinking something more…" Sasuke seemed to struggle to find the right words. "Homey," he settled for, with a pointed look he aimed at the ground.

"Uh," Naruto looked uncomfortable. "If you really want to go back to the Uchiha compound, you can, but I'm not sure if it's in good condition after we had to rebuild the village…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, looking exasperated. He looked up at Naruto finally, through his lashes. "Naruto. I want to go back to your place."

"Oh." Naruto thought for a moment, he wasn't sure if he had a futon for – Naruto's heart skipped a beat, and he did a doubletake, his face exploding into a blush so bright it nearly glowed. "Oh. Oh. Uh… uh… uuuuuuuhre you sure?"

"Yes," Sasuke said impatiently, shifting his feet. "Let's go. Now."

Naruto grinned. "Alright!"

He charged at Sasuke with newfound energy and swept the man into his arms – Sasuke sputtered and tried to free himself from Naruto's embrace, but Naruto was too giddy to care – bounding down the street and yelling at the top of his lungs, "I'm going to bed the Uchiha! Woooo!"

There were butterflies in Naruto's stomach, and he was a total virgin, and he was worried he would disappoint Sasuke and he knew that he would probably cry afterwards, but somehow that didn't really matter. It didn't matter because Sasuke was laughing, actually laughing – he'd made Sasuke laugh before, but that didn't change the fact that it was the best feeling in the world to make Sasuke laugh – it didn't really matter because even though they were awkward, shy, stupid boys who were often too dumb or too proud to admit they were in love with each other, in the sappy romantic novel kind of way, it would be okay after. They'd done more embarrassing things together, and their friendship always managed to prevail, somehow. Tomorrow, they'd be laughing and joking like they used to.

(Only, if Naruto got his way, Sasuke's ass was going to be sore.)

-x-

On Mondays, Sasuke helped at Konoha's town hall, just beside the Hokage mansion, to work in the communications department as decreed in his community service outline. He was required to show up, stamp mission reports, and file them away. At no point had he been told he needed to be happy about this, or interact with anyone, so he usually sat silent behind his desk in a Chunin flak jacket – even though he wasn't technically in the shinobi register – and contemplated the monstrous pile of crap his life had become. On a regular day, he could tend to his business without interruption, or even opening his mouth.

But today, Sasuke couldn't do any of those things, because Naruto had him wrapped tight in his arms, and he wasn't about to let go.

(The end.)

-x-

bye