A/N: So here's another story from me! This story will follow canon for the foreseeable future, so I will post a new chapter after a new episode airs. There will probably be 10-12 chapters.

Warning: This story will most likely contain Mapril and Stackson!

Disclaimer: This story is my own. There would be more death if it was Shonda's!

Chapter 1 - The High-Five

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

H. L. Mencken

After what he would deem to be a very successful day, Jackson walked into the attendings' locker room. He figured that he wouldn't be hanging out with Stephanie tonight because she was too busy studying for her intern exam, so he just wanted to change his clothes, go home, have a cold beer, and then go to bed. He was exhausted; being a board member was taking the good right out of him. Every time he felt like he had finally figured it out, something would happen, like a hole in the middle of the hospital. But he was confident that throwing a gala was a great idea. It would bring in a tonne of money.

He had already shed his lab coat before he realized that there was another person in the room.

April was standing in front of the mirror in the corner of the room, fiddling with the hem of the black dress that she was wearing. The dress was conservative and nothing special, but she looked nice…well, he always thought that she looked nice, and he had always had a weak spot for her in formal wear. He figured that it probably had something to do with her legs; she didn't show off her legs enough. Or it could have something to do with her hips, he wasn't entirely sure and it really didn't matter.

He cleared his throat before he greeted her awkwardly. "Hey."

She whirled around and faced him with a small smile. "Hey Jackson."

"Are you…uh…going out to celebrate?"

She nodded and his eyes zoned in on the rock that had made its home on her left hand. Of course the paramedic would be taking her out to celebrate her passing her surgical boards. It was a milestone that she had worked unbelievably hard to achieve.

The paramedic was probably taking her to some fancy restaurant and all that he had been able to offer was an idiotic high-five?

It seemed worse and worse the more that he thought about it. A high-five, really?

But he had given her a high-five because he was trying to be her friend again. And he couldn't be her friend and hug her. It was too risky. Hugging her would make him want to kiss her, and kissing her would make him want to make love to her…It was a vicious cycle.

He loved her too much to hug her.

What he really needed to do was to stay away from her but he couldn't do that either. He was too weak. He wasn't all in anymore but he couldn't get up from the table either. He couldn't stop himself from asking her if she was okay when she looked upset, and he couldn't stop himself from comforting her or trying to cheer her up. He couldn't say no to her, he had never been able to say no to her.

So then why had he pushed her back to the paramedic? Because he had felt burned and hurt and had wanted to hurt her as much as she had unknowingly hurt him.

He had had a week to reflect on what he had said to her during the storm and he had put things into perspective. He had been too harsh. He had been immature and stupid. He didn't trust her to make a decision, he didn't trust her to choose him and really mean it, and he really didn't trust her to not break his heart again. So he had come up with the words that would hurt her the most and he had spat them at her like acid.

And now, to make up for that, he was trying to be her friend again.

It wasn't exactly the best idea that he had ever had, but he couldn't stay away.

"So, uh, where are you going?" He asked to continue their awkward conversation.

"Not sure," she answered honestly. "Matthew gets off in twenty minutes and he just told me to wear something nice."

"Well, you do look nice," he told her quietly.

"Thank you," she smiled, and it was the same smile that she had given him after he had congratulated her on her boards.

April turned back to the mirror and began to fuss over her appearance to distract herself. She couldn't ignore the tension that she felt in the room. Jackson wasn't just Jackson anymore; he was now this guy that she associated with the best and worst moments of her life. Sometimes she felt like it was hard to breathe around him. The feeling that had caused her heart to constrict when she thought that he had died in that bus explosion hadn't really left her. It was still there, this dull ache that refused to go away.

But now he hated her so much that he couldn't even hug her.

And yet she still wanted him in her life.

She had chosen Matthew, and a life with him, but she still wanted Jackson to be a part of her life. She needed Jackson in her life. For six years now, even when she knew that she didn't have anyone else, she had always had him. He was her rock. She couldn't bear to lose him, and she had no idea if that was fair or not, but it was the truth. It was probably terrible and selfish, but at least she was being honest with herself.

Maybe today had been a good sign that she and Jackson could be friends again. He had been in a really good mood all day, and things had felt normal, except for the whole high-five debacle.

Stephanie made him happy and she was happy for them…that's what she told herself. He had Stephanie and she had Matthew, so there was no reason why they couldn't be friends now.

Right?

She spun back around to face him and nervously wrung her hands together. "Jackson," she started tentatively. "Can we…?"

She trailed off but he knew exactly what she was asking. "Yeah, of course. I want to be your friend," he told her earnestly.

"Good," she sighed in relief. "Because I want to be your friend too."

He smiled brightly and nodded. "Good," he repeated inelegantly. He felt like he should say something else, but he had nothing. He clumsily clapped his hands together as he looked down at his sneakers.

After they had reached their agreement, April turned back to the mirror while Jackson pulled his scrub top over his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched April pull her hair up into a messy up-do only to let it fall down around her shoulders again.

He watched her do it once more before he interrupted. "Wear your hair down."

She glanced at him over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. She turned away quickly once she saw that he was shirtless. She didn't want him to see her blush.

"Wear your hair down," he reiterated. "Trust me."

He knew how he felt every time that she wore her hair up and it wasn't fair to torture her fiancé like that. The poor guy would have to suffer through dinner all the while thinking about what it would be like to taste her bare shoulders and slender neck.

April did as he suggested and then looked at her watch. It was time for her to meet Matthew in the lobby. "Thanks Jackson," she smiled. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too," he replied weakly. "And congrats again!"

She shot him a happy smile before she excitedly fled the locker room.

Once he was alone, he exhaled heavily before he rested his head against the wooden frame of his locker. Maybe thinking that he could be her friend again was the stupidest idea that he had ever had. He had a feeling that he was setting himself up for his own form of torture.

A/N: Please let me know what you think! :)