Your eyes do not deceive you : ) Yep, I decided to work really hard this week and get another chapter up. It's kind of to make up for how long the last one took me to get finished and posted : ) Normally I don't like to post for the same story twice in a week as it sets an unrealistic expectation, but I figured just this once I'd bend that rule : )

This is just a little interval chapter, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned it out. I hope you guys like it at any rate. Also, I'd like to say thank you to those of you that reviewed the last chapter. Your support means a lot : )

Please remember that Doctor Who is not mine and I hope you enjoy this chapter : )

Confessions

Martha watched silently, an odd expression tugging at her face, as the Doctor retracted his head back into the Tardis. He had left the door to the police box open, and Martha immediately knew why.

It was so Rose could make her choice.

Martha knew what the other girl was going to pick.

And it felt like a slap in the face.

But it shouldn't!

Martha wasn't an idiot after all.

She wasn't stupid. When she had made the decision to persuade the Doctor to go back to Rose and ask again, she knew in that moment that there could never be a future between herself and the Time Lord after doing that for him.

If she was being honest with herself, Martha had known deep down in her heart for a long time that the Doctor would never return her feelings.

But she had always clung on to a tiny shred of hope.

Now she didn't even have that.

And it stung like hell.

But to top it all off, Martha knew she was now going to have to witness first-hand as the Doctor and Rose began falling in love.

Like her heart wasn't already in enough pain.

Now the universe had decided to twist the knife in even further.

Why had the angel done this to her?

How cruel was it to make her watch as the man she had fallen so deeply for, fell for somebody else?

And how horribly twisted was it that she knew that Rose would one day leave and the Doctor would be heartbroken, and yet there was no way she could do anything about it without causing a massive paradox?

To make matters even worse, it wasn't like Martha even had the choice to leave if she wanted to.

Thanks to that wretched angel, she now existed in a time where she already was.

Her past-self was here, which meant Martha couldn't stay for much longer.

Even if she decided to leave the Tardis, and move to the other side of the world, there would always be a chance that she'd run into herself from the past.

And that just couldn't happen.

It wasn't a risk Martha was willing to take.

If the past and present versions of her met, even for a single moment... well, Martha shuddered just thinking about how devastating it could be to time.

No.

It didn't matter how much this was going to hurt, or how hard this would be on her heart, Martha knew where she stood and that was all there was too it.

That didn't stop the tears forming in her eyes though.

Then it all hit her like a lightning bolt.

In a few seconds, Rose was going to come flying into the police box, and her journey with the Doctor was going to begin for real.

They were going to fall in love, and then something would make Rose leave, and the Doctor would be left so heartbroken he barely even existed outside of his own head.

And she was going to have to watch as it started!

Martha suddenly couldn't breathe.

Her heart felt like it was shattering into a million tiny shards of broken glass.

The room, which had always felt bigger than it should, was getting smaller and closing in on her.

There wasn't enough air and she felt dizzy.

But she couldn't do... this.

She couldn't, wouldn't break down in front of the Doctor and Rose.

Her pride wouldn't allow it.

Turning on her heel, Martha sprinted out of the control room, and ran down the corridor in the direction of her bedroom.

She didn't even pause as the Doctor called out her name.

The Doctor was grinning in the direction of the Tardis door, awaiting Rose's entrance which he was sure was a certainty after that enticing offer, when he heard panicked footsteps to his left.

He turned just in time to see Martha fleeing the control room.

"Martha?" he called after her.

There was no reply.

"Martha?!" he yelled.

Again, she didn't respond.

The Doctor frowned.

He was pretty sure he had heard a choked sob, not to mention he was certain he saw tears streaming down Martha's face as she fled.

He couldn't claim to be an expert on the emotions of humans, but he had travelled with a great number of them, and almost everytime that one of them had cried, there had been a reason behind it and they weren't just leaking.

So what was Martha's reason for crying?

The Time Lord was about to follow after her, but at the sound of a door closing, he turned to see Rose had entered, a huge grin etched into her face.

When she spotted him, the blonde's grin grew even bigger.

It faltered slightly when she couldn't see Martha anywhere though.

"Where's Martha?" Rose asked immediately.

"She... err..." the Doctor had no idea what he was meant to reply with.

He was beginning to have a inkling as to what Martha's strange behaviour was about though.

"She just... err, went down there... tell you what, why don't you take a seat - get acclimatised to the whole 'bigger on the inside' thing, since we've established it's quite a culture shock - and I'll go find her" the Doctor suggested.

Rose looked confused, but shrugged and nodded.

She moved over to the captain's seat and sat down, looking a little put-out that they weren't departing for better things immediately.

"And err... I'd better move us into the vortex, or that idiot you have for a boyfriend will be wondering why we're still here" the Doctor added as an after-thought.

He went over to the controls, and pushed some buttons and pulled some levers.

The whole room shook and Rose was almost thrown out of the seat, but after a few seconds, the Tardis stilled, and they were floating in the Time Vortex.

"Right" the Doctor clapped his hands, "I'll be back in a mo... don't touch anything".

"I won't" Rose quickly promised.

"Anything" the Doctor insisted.

"I won't" Rose giggled.

Grinning, the Doctor turned and headed into the corridor after Martha.

Rose flopped back in her seat and looked up at the Time Rotor, barely able to believe that any of this was real.

She couldn't keep the gigantic grin off her face.

Her mind was full of all the places in time and space they might end up going too.

Her grin widened with each idea her imagination came up with.

This was going to be... fantastic.

Using the sonic screwdriver to trace her biological signature, the Doctor was easily able to find Martha on his gigantic time ship.

She was hiding in one of the rooms in the bedroom corridor.

If he had to guess, the Doctor would assume that this was her bedroom in the future... and now in this time too.

He gently knocked on the door.

"W-who is it?" he heard Martha's voice through the door.

It sounded very heavy with tears.

The Doctor couldn't help but roll his eyes at her response though.

On the Tardis, who else was she expecting?

"Pizza" he joked.

"Sorry" he heard Martha apologise, "I guess that was kind of a stupid question".

"Just a bit" the Doctor smirked in agreement, "I was just wondering why you took off like that. Is everything alright?"

"Y-yeah" Martha's voice wobbled, "Of c-course it is".

"You know, you're a terrible liar" the Doctor casually commented.

He heard Martha sigh on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"I... I'd rather you didn't" Martha's voice sounded nervous.

"It is my ship though" the Doctor reminded her.

He tried the door, but it was locked.

He scowled, and debated using the sonic screwdriver to force his way in, but perhaps that wouldn't go over too well with Martha right now.

He decided to try and talk her out for now.

"Martha, what's wrong?" the Doctor tried again.

There was no response.

"Is it because Rose is coming with us?" the Doctor guessed.

There was a moment of silence... before...

"... No?" it sounded more like a question.

Gotcha, the Doctor thought smugly.

He knew that Martha was upset because of Rose now, but for the life of him, the Doctor couldn't figure out why. They had seemed to get on well enough throughout their entire adventure together.

His eyes widened slightly.

Now that he thought about it, Martha had seemed rather... well, fascinated by the blonde girl, whilst Rose had been nice simply because she hadn't been given a reason to be anything else.

Looking back though, he could tell now that there was something else going on.

Something Martha didn't seem all too keen to share with them.

Well, that wouldn't do, now would it?

"You are okay with me asking Rose along aren't you?" he called through the door to her.

"Y-yeah!" Martha's voice sounded terribly strained, "S-sure I am... w-why wouldn't I be okay about it?"

"You tell me" the Doctor shrugged.

"I... I'm fine" Martha's voice insisted, "I mean... I am the one that told you to go back and ask her again... honestly, I'm okay...".

The Doctor, struggling to find something else to say, ended up scowling in annoyance.

"Look, could you please just let me in" he huffed, irritated, "I feel like a stupid ape standing here talking to a door".

There was no reply.

"If you don't, I'll be forced to use the sonic" the Doctor playfully threatened.

A smile tugged at his lips as he heard a sigh, before the click of a lock.

He winced slightly as the door opened to reveal a rather red-eyed Martha Jones standing in the doorframe.

"Still going to try and insist everything's okay when it obviously isn't?" he asked, tone lightly sarcastic.

Martha shrugged.

She stepped aside and allowed the Doctor to enter her room.

His eyes swept across the newly created bedroom briefly, before he noticed a desk chair, went over to it, turned it around and sat down.

He looked at Martha expectantly.

Getting the hint, Martha moved across the room and sat at the edge of her bed.

She didn't know what to say, but thankfully, the Doctor seemed to have that covered as he spoke up first.

"Look. I'm a Time Lord. I've travelled for a long time, and I know how to read people" the Doctor said, before adding, "Plus, I'm extremely clever and just generally brilliant".

"Yeah... and not very modest" Martha let out a watery laugh.

The Doctor grinned at her.

"That, Miss Jones, is my only short-coming, I promise" he winked at her, "But the point is... even an idiot can see something is wrong. Now normally I wouldn't be bothered. I mean, you're a human. You lot can't go ten minutes without having some kind of unimportant domestic drama".

"Thanks" Martha rolled her eyes.

"It's true" the Doctor shrugged, "But you're different. You're a companion from my own personal future, and when you just suddenly run out of the control room of my Tardis, it causes me discomfort. I'd go as far as to say it worries me, and you know why?"

"Tell me" Martha urged him to continue.

"Because you know more about me than I do right now" he said bluntly.

Martha stared at him for three whole seconds.

Then she burst out laughing.

"Okay, yeah, that was a load of bull" the Doctor admitted with a grin, "Like a little human like you could know more than the mighty Time Lord about anything".

Martha laughed again.

"But I genuinely am worried... about you and the whole 'my own personal future' thing" the Doctor continued when she stopped, "So tell me, did you know Rose in your own part of my timeline?"

Martha sighed, and looked down at her knees.

She really didn't want to talk about this.

But she had a feeling that the Doctor wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Even if she simply refused to talk, she knew enough about him, both her own version and this past version, that he wouldn't let it go at that.

He would get his answers, one way or another.

She had no idea how, but he would.

So simply to make it easier on them both, Martha decided to just answer his questions as best she could.

"Not personally" she admitted, "I was the companion that came after Rose left".

The Doctor frowned in confusion.

"Then why would her coming with me now cause you to break down and run out of the control room?" he asked.

Martha heaved a heavy sigh.

That was a loaded question.

"I don't know... everything... that happened, in fact I know very little, but from what I could gather... your future self and Rose were... close" Martha struggled to word it in a way that didn't sound terrible.

"Close?" the Doctor scoffed.

"I don't know" Martha shrugged, "Whenever I asked about her you'd... he'd go all funny and his eyes would glaze over like he was thinking about something terrible and...".

She lost her nerve.

"You know what, let's just leave it at that" she said.

Martha made to stand up, but the Doctor reached out and put a gentle but firm hand on her arm.

"No please, just... hold on a minute" the Doctor pleaded.

Scowling, Martha sat back down.

"So... Rose isn't with you two in the future?" the Doctor was trying to wrap his head around it all.

"No. I never even met her until the night I met you" Martha informed him.

"But I still don't get it" the Doctor shook his head, "Why would you get so upset over someone you never met? I mean, I know you humans are an emotional bunch, but that just doesn't make any sense".

Martha scowled at his bluntness, but brushed it aside.

Now that she had started, she wasn't going to stop.

This had been festering inside her for months, and if she couldn't say all this to her own Doctor, she was going to say it to this one.

She owed it to herself after all.

"Doctor... have you ever lived in someone's shadow, every day, for almost an entire year?" she asked him, her tone hard.

"Ah" the Doctor had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going.

"Yes, ah. Every day I was with you, I would do something, or I'd say something... and you'd... he'd look at me and I'd just think... 'you're not seeing me, you're seeing her'. It was like I was just a ghost" Martha whispered those last words.

The Doctor was silent as he processed what he had just heard.

He looked curiously in the direction of the door, thinking about the young blonde woman currently awaiting their return in the control room.

Would he really one day grow close to her?

It was just such a weird concept for him.

Ignoring the fact that they weren't even the same species - after everything he had seen in the war, and after the terrible act he himself had committed to end it all, the idea of having... a future, any kind of future, with someone that wouldn't look at him in disgust...

It just seemed so impossible.

He shrugged himself out of those thoughts though.

He shouldn't have asked about it.

There was a reason people weren't meant to learn their own futures, and that included him too.

He decided there and then that he was going to push everything Martha had just told him out of his mind, and if anything ever did happen with Rose, it wasn't going to be because he had been vaguely told he might or might not have been close to her.

It wasn't like Martha herself even knew much about his apparent relationship to Rose and what it might have meant.

Perhaps it wasn't even romantic at all, and Martha had just got the wrong end of the stick.

There was just no way of knowing.

But there was one more question that was bugging him.

"If my future self looked right through you like that all the time... why did you stay?" he asked out of genuine concern, "You could have left".

"I couldn't do that to him!" Martha cried like it was obvious.

The Doctor blinked, surprised by her outburst.

"He did so much for me" Martha continued passionately, "He took me out into time and space. He took everything I thought I knew, about myself and... well, everything, and completely smashed it to bits. He gave me the chance to look at everything differently, and suddenly I could make sense out of all the chaos around me. I was growing into somebody new, somebody better, and I had him to thank for all that. He was my best friend... and I... I love him".

The Doctor's jaw dropped.

"As in... romantically?" he swallowed nervously.

Martha let out a sigh.

This was beyond mortifying - but she was just thanking her lucky stars she didn't have to have this conversation with her actual Doctor. It made it easier, talking to him whilst he was wearing a different face.

It was still horribly embarrassing for her though.

"Only on my part... he was too hung up on his past" Martha admitted.

And with those words, it all made sense to him.

"That's why you ran out before" he realised, resisting the urge to slap a hand to his forehead for not realising it sooner, "Because Rose is coming with us, being set on the journey to what you believe will eventually be my past, and now you're here to see it happening".

Gulping for air, and suppressing more tears, Martha gave a single nod.

"You know... there's a part of me, bigger than it ought to be, that really wants to go in there and give Rose a piece of my mind, and then some" Martha said bitterly, "But I can't, and you know why?"

"Err..." the Doctor blinked.

"Because she hasn't actually done anything wrong!" Martha scowled indignantly, "That's what hurts so much. I mean, I have no idea what happened to her. The Doctor refused to tell me, and believe me, I asked. She could have left him for someone else, she could have been forced to leave him for some reason, she might even have died, and I want to blame her for leaving him so... broken".

"But you can't" the Doctor sighed.

"Exactly! I can't blame Rose if I don't even know what I'm supposed to be blaming her for! If I do I'd be such a... such a bitch! And I really don't want to be that person. Plus, if she was as much in love with him as he clearly was with her, I would do anything, anything to spare him and her the pain of being separated, but I can't because if I change anything, I cause a damn paradox and... and...".

"And breathe" the Doctor commanded.

Martha weakly nodded, gasping in large mouthful of air as her lungs burned from her rant.

"Okay, I get it now" the Doctor said whilst she couldn't talk, "The whole situation, for want of a better word, stinks for you".

Martha was glad he agreed with her.

"What am I supposed to do?" she demanded as she got her breath back.

"Truthfully?" the Doctor arched an eyebrow.

"Truthfully" Martha nodded.

"You won't like it" the Doctor warned.

"Just tell me" Martha insisted.

"Well... you should do nothing" the Doctor told her.

Martha's jaw dropped.

"I mean, this situation is horrible, and unique, and quite frankly, dangerous. You're right. If you change something you're not meant to, my future and your own past will change and that's always something to be careful with" the Doctor said grimly, before adding as an after-thought, "Plus, toying with the emotions of my future self and Rose can't lead to anything good".

"I know all this Doctor, but that doesn't make it any easier to do" Martha reminded him pointedly.

"I know, but maybe this isn't such a bad thing" the Doctor reasoned.

"Huh?" Martha blinked.

"Well, think of it this way. At least you might get to see why my future self treated you the way he did" the Doctor shrugged, "It's closure of a sorts. You humans are big on that, aren't you?"

Martha laughed again.

Sometimes she forgot he was an alien and not just a guy, although sometimes there wasn't much difference.

But in this case, she thought he might actually have a point.

What she'd been feeling for her Doctor... it wasn't healthy.

Not when there was no future in it.

Now she could move on, and maybe, just maybe, she could find someone who would love her the way that the Doctor had clearly loved Rose.

"Yeah, we are..." she managed to raise a tiny smile, "Thank you".

"For what?" the Doctor looked confused.

"For listening, and for letting me get all this out. It helped, a lot" Martha said sincerely.

"Glad to be of service" he smiled kindly.

"i just want you to know, after... after I told you to go ask her again... well that's it now. I officially give up. I just... I can't keep hoping that you, him... that he will return my feelings when it's clear he won't. I just... I wanted you to know that" Martha trailed off with a tired sigh.

The Doctor stared at her, his expression unreadable.

"Well..." he felt rather awkward about how this part of the conversation was going, "That's very big of you Martha... very mature".

Martha smiled and shook her head.

Of course he would have no idea how to reply to that.

God, he was such an alien.

"Anyway" he clapped his hands and stood up, thankfully changing the subject which they were both relieved about, "I believe there is a certain new passenger awaiting our return to the control room, and will most likely be climbing the walls by now".

"Oh god!" Martha clapped a hand to her forehead as she too climbed to her feet, "What are we going to tell her?"

"Right now? I'd say nothing" the Doctor shrugged.

Martha stared at him incredulously.

"What?" the Doctor demanded, "If I know anything about you humans, if we tell her that she may or may not be someone I'm close to in the future, but we don't know for sure, she'll just... what's that phrase you use... freak out?"

Martha was loathed to admit he had a point.

Her expression must have shown on her face, for the Doctor smirked.

"You see, I'm right" he said triumphantly.

"Fine, you win. We won't say anything for now" Martha scowled.

She didn't like it though, but then again, there wasn't really anything that she liked about this situation.

Letting out a sigh, Martha allowed the Doctor to steer her from the room, out into the corridor, and back in the direction of the control room.

If this was really going to happen, her travelling for a while with the past Doctor and Rose Tyler, then they might as well get started.

She just hoped it wouldn't be too hard to handle.

But Martha wasn't stupid, and the universe wasn't kind.

This was definitely going to be hard to handle.

And that's the first interval chapter : )

Now I know some people might be wondering why I decided to have Martha confess so early on in the story about her feelings towards the future Doctor, and how Rose tied into that. The reason was, I want this story to mainly be about Martha moving on with her life, so to begin that process, she really needs to acknowledge her feelings weren't healthy for her.

Also, the Doctor, and Martha too for that matter, don't actually know for certain about the Doctor and Rose being romantically involved. Martha just suspects the future Doctor loved Rose, but he never confirmed that too her, or confirmed that Rose loved him back. We are the audience know that, but the characters don't. They just believe it's a possibility, so this won't be like - 'Oh, Martha said we fell in love so now we have too to preserve the timelines'. I promise, it won't be like that : )

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this chapter.

I hope you all enjoyed it, and please leave a review on your way out : )

Until the next time, keep on reading : )