Hello to any random readers! First off, thanks for taking the time to read this drivel. I was just listening to The Fox and my mind provided me with this cracktastic mental image. This is my first ever Fanfic, so if I make any newbie mistakes or spelling/grammatical errors don't hesitate to call me out on it.
Also, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so tell me yours! Constructive criticism is good for improvement.
Now, I guess I can do a Disclaimer!
I don't own the hilarious Hetalia, nor do I claim any ownership over 'The Fox'.
What Does The Fox Say!?
Norway was expecting the mockery to come once Denmark saw the YouTube video. What he didn't expect was to open his door and see the man wearing a fox costume and dancing alongside the other Nordics.
Based on the YLVIS song 'The Fox'
Norway had been one of the first to see the video. He had hoped to be the last as well. However, seeing as how the world seemed to hold some permanent grudge against him, the hit had gone viral within a short timeframe and he knew, he just knew that he was going to be on the receiving end of an impressive amount of mockery on behalf of the other nations.
He had no doubt that the song would be mentioned at their next World Meeting (which happened to be next week) and he could predict the other nation's reactions already.
America would think it was awesome, and laugh uproariously at Norway's expense. England would curl his lip at the immaturity of it all. Russia would no doubt give no outward reaction besides grinning creepily (did the old fashioned nation even own a computer?) and the other nations would give other varying reactions as well.
Norway could only hope that there wouldn't be a repeat of the Gangam Style debacle. That debacle had entailed the livelier of the nations re-enacting the dance with relish, South Korea in the center and singing the lyrics enthusiastically. Switzerland had nearly had an aneurism when Hungary had pulled Liechtenstein up and proceeded to teach her the 'Sexy lady' moves.
The impromptu and unplanned performance had been triggered by America, who had been trying to sneakily listen to his iPod instead of listening to one of England's boring speeches. However, as America was incapable of doing anything covertly, he was noticed and then all hell had broken lose.
It had taken a few particularly strong beers to get Germany to cool down after his angry tirade about how they had wasted time and caused such a disruption that the meeting had been rendered completely pointless.
He hadn't been the only one annoyed. China had struck South Korea so hard with his Wok pan that the other nation had laid passed out on the floor for twenty minutes until Japan had felt pity for him and tried to rouse him.
Now, Norway was shuddering with the possibility of there being a similar occurrence. He may have been faultlessly stoic, but even he wasn't immune to a little of Germany's intimidation tactics. Besides, he would prefer to spend his time doing other things than being lectured by a furious Germany for his countries peculiarities. Reading or summoning trolls was a much more pleasurable way to spend his time.
It was with these worries and thoughts swirling in his head that he arrived home. His home was a rather humble little cottage surrounded with native flowers. It was beautiful and secluded, and it was perfect for having guests. Well, more like uninvited nuisances that tended to visit him at unholy hours and inappropriate times. It was far away from any prying ears, so no unfortunate folks would have to be subjected to Denmark's raucous voice and singing in the shower. Only Norway would have to deal with the tortuous antics.
It was times like these, Norway contemplated if it would be easier for him to be the second coming of Bear Grills and flee into the wilderness and survive there. Although, he would miss his little brother dearly, despite the fact Iceland would definitely not miss him. The poor younger nation was becoming increasingly embarrassed now he had to address Norway as 'Big brother' like he had used to.
Norway sighed as he unlocked his house door. Another day had ended, and he could finally relax and spend some quiet time. He could only pray he would not be bothered by any pesky, unwanted visitors.
Since when had Norway ever been that lucky?
Instead of being greeted with an empty house and a sparsely lit hallway, he was greeted with blinding green strobe lights, ear-splitting music that had just begun to blare, and four familiar figures decked out in costumes that had obviously been lovingly made for this occasion.
It took Norway a moment to get his eyes adjusted to the flickering lights, and when he did, he deadpanned.
Predictably, Denmark was the one to sing, and Norway had the suspicion he had been practicing, because he didn't sound like he was dying. He tried to sing the first few lines with a straight face, but his lips kept twitching spasmodically as he tried to hold back a wide, Colgate smile.
The chorus approached, and Sweden seemed to be preparing himself. Unlike the others, his costume was not ridiculously overdone. In fact, if it wasn't for the fox mask, he would have looked like had just finished another day at the office. Norway was a little surprised Sweden was partaking in this practical joke. His 'wife' probably had probably convinced him the results would be funny.
"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?" Denmark bellowed and looked at him with vaguely demented eyes, his fox costume stretched over his broad shoulders. "Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"
Sweden had begun to dance along awkwardly, obviously not feeling overly comfortable with his position. Denmark shot him an exasperated look, but continued jigging up and down on the spot. His perfectly applied face paint made Norway's eyebrow twitch. So his baby brother had contributed his painting skills to this little practical joke? The little traitor.
"WHAT THE FOX SAY? Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!" Denmark danced to this part almost erotically, sending Norway a wink. It was perturbing, how even in a fox costume and even wiggling his hips with silly choreography, he still would have been capable of making girls and woman alike swoon. "WHAT THE FOX SAY? Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" The arm movements were fluid, and Sweden's arm muscles bulged under his blouse. "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho! Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!"
The next part of the song detailed dancing so unsightly that Norway had to look away. Sweden had paused, hesitant. Finland sent him an encouraging smile, and he swayed his hips back and forth.
Briefly, Iceland and he caught eye contact, and Norway was pleased to note he looked as disparaging as him. Luckily, his own job was to spectate and make sure Norway didn't smash the iPod dock (or Denmark's scull). Although, that didn't mean he could escape wearing a demeaning costume, and he was dressed as a puffin. He and Mr. Puffin could have been twins.
"Big blue eyes," Denmark widened his own eyes here and batted his eyelashes. "Pointy nose," He wiggled his painted nose. "Chasing mice," he looked around stupidly here. "And digging holes." He began waving his hands, pretending to be digging in nonexistent dirt. "Tiny paws, up the hill, suddenly your standing still. Your fur is red…" He stroked his costumed body. "So beautiful," He tossed his head showily, making his ears tilt dangerously. "Like an angel in disguise." Denmark attempted to look innocent.
Norway snorted.
"But if you meet a friendly horse-"Finland grinned with a mixture of sheepishness and nervousness as he walked directly in front of Denmark. He was dressed as a horse, and was determined to play the part perfectly and not make a single mistake. "-Will you communicate by mo-o-o-o-orse?" Finland began tapping away and waving his head like he was flicking a mane whilst Denmark continued repeating Morse like a moron. "How will you speak to that ho-o-orse? Ho-o-orse…ho-o-orse WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?"
Denmark danced the next part so energetically Norway almost admired how much effort he had obviously gone through to perform the dance perfectly. Almost.
This was opposed to Sweden, whose glower was becoming darker by the minute. He seemed to be fumbling. Norway supposed Sweden had dignity.
"The secret of the fox. Ancient mystery." Norway choked on air when Denmark suddenly was suddenly hoisted into the air by a line he had not noticed before. Iceland seemed to be controlling it. Perhaps Norway could persuade Iceland to leave him suspended afterwards. He was sure he could bribe the other with licorice.
The rest of the song was as ridiculous as the rest, and it finished with such a high note that everyone shielded their ears to block out the screeching. Denmark floated back to the ground, panting from slight exertion. "So…" He started after several long pauses. Finland was beginning to wring his hands in anticipation. "What did you think, Norge?"
"I think," Norway said frankly. "That you're all a bunch of imbeciles and I cannot believe we all live in such close proximity. I expected this stupidly from Denmark, but you, Finland?" He turned to Finland with a deep frown. "As easily influenced as ever, I see."
"I just thought it would be funny…" Finland replied almost shyly. "It's good to play funny jokes on people sometimes. Isn't it?"
"O'course." Sweden said in his usual grumble. "M'wife' was brilliant."
"Thank you Berwald." Finland beamed with a bright blush.
Denmark scoffed. "No one can say the same for you, Sweden. You looked like a fish flailing for air."
"You –"Finland sent Berwald a reprimanding look and he fell silent. Denmark smirked.
"Whipped."
"I'll whip you in a minute…" Norway murmured darkly. Denmark wrapped a sweaty arm around Norway's shoulder.
"Kinky, Norge. So come on, I know you thought our performance was just a little funny. I saw you repress a smile once or twice."
That was true. Norway had been tempted to chortle at Sweden's lack of usual grace and Denmark's eagerness. Even remembering it made him press his lips together tightly. However, when he noticed Denmark's face paint was melting he cracked a smile. "I suppose it was an interesting performance." Norway commented, still deadpan despite the small smile. "If there is a repeat of it, though…" Norway scowled suddenly. "You'll all be assassinated by my trolls."
Denmark wasn't disconcerted. He'd been given the same threat on numerous occasions. "How about we all have some beers? Of course drinks will be on Norway, to pay us back for the money we spent on all of this."
Norway promptly punched Denmark in the face.
Sweden merely looked at Finland intensely. "Can I ride you?"
"Excuse me?" Finland gawked. "Berwald…"
"You're a horse, after all." Sweden pointed out.
Iceland sighed loudly, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Can I go home now?"
"No." All three said in synchronization.
Iceland pouted and crossed his arms.
I wonder how Norway will react when he finds out what Denmark has planned for the next meeting.
Well, there it is. I know it's a little hurried and lacklustre, but I did giggle the entire time I was writing it. I hope it made you at least a smidgen amused. Have a nice day/night, wherever you are!