Disclaimer: I own neither Doctor Who nor the Catherine Tate Show.

In Which the Doctor...

Is bovvered.

The Doctor sat in his cozy chair at the edge of the T.A.R.D.I.S. living room as usual. He glanced out the door into the console area sadly and closed his eyes.

"Space Florida!" The Doctor grinned at Amy as Rory entered the room. "It's like Florida... But in space!"

"Doctor, can't we go somewhere, I dunno, more exciting?"

"More exciting? How much more exciting can you get? You're in a box that's bigger on the inside, that travels through time and space! With a real, live alien!"

"Yes, sure, but it's always a bit more fun when we're out, risking our lives." Amy smiled and pulled Rory into a kiss as he came to a stop beside her.

"We don't always have to risk our lives, every day, Amy." Mr. Pond stuck his hands in his pockets. "I vote beach."

"Besides," the Doctor nodded and turned to the console, beginning to move about. "I can't afford to lose you two. All this life-risking eventually'll pay off."

Amy came up beside him, patting his arm. "What would you do without us, hmm?"

"I dunno, Pond. I reall-"

"-and I was like, 'No way am I goin' to eat that, healthy's for losers,' am I riiiiight?"

The Doctor's eyes snapped open as an annoying, strangely familiar sounding voice echoed through the T.A.R.D.I.S. halls.

A second girl's voice answered. "So right."

"Excuse me," the Timelord shouted. "I'm trying to have a feelsy flashback here, and you're making it extremely difficult!"

Two girls appeared in the doorway. The black-haired one raised an eyebrow, snapping her gum loudly. "Sorry, what?"

"What? You? How did you even get in here?" The Doctor frowned.

"Um, how am I supposed to know?"

The Doctor's face turned white as a sheet as he spotted the second girl.

But... That was impossible.

"Donna?!" He shot out of his seat.

"Um..." She glanced at her friend, who shrugged nonchalantly in response.

"But... But... You! Your head!"

"What about my head? Do you think something's wrong with my head? Do you have some sort of problem, hmm? Just because your house is all modern and big, you have some sort of problem with me? Is that it? Huh? Is that it?"

"But..." The Doctor blinked several times. "Donna! You can't be here! Your head! It should be - you know - ploosh!" He made an exploding gesture with his hands.

"Listen, I dunno if your just stupid or something - are you stupid or something? You certainly look like it- but I'm not called Donna. My name's obviously Lauren Alesha Masheka Tanesha Felicia Jane Cooper. Honestly, it's not that hard to remember. Ain't it, though, Liese?"

Liese smirked and put a hand on her hip. "It ain't, though, it so ain't."

"How did you get into my T.A.R.D.I.S.?" The Doctor shook his hands at her.

"Are you disrespecting me?" Lauren took a step forward menacingly. "Are you, though? I don't care, though. Do I look like I care? Do I look bovvered to you, though? Look at my face. Is this a bovvered face?"

She pointed at her face and glared at the Doctor.

"But... I... Huh?" He took a step back.

"I ain't even bovvered. I ain't even bovvered, though."

"What is going on here?"

"Are you disrespecting me? Do you think you can disrespect me? Are you insulting me? Are you insulting Liese? Are you insulting my mum? Are you, though?"

"What? No! What even -"

"I ain't bovvered, though. I so ain't bovvered."

The Doctor banged his head on the wall. If Amy were still here, she'd be able to tell this girl to shut up.

He really needed a companion.

Then again...

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

"Listen, Lauren. How would you like to be my companion?"

"Your what?"

"My companion."

"Do I get a car?"

"Huh?"

"A car. Do I get my own car, then?"

"Car?! Why would being my companion make you think of -"

"Do I get a car or not?"

"No - you - I - fine, you get a car!"

"Whatever. Bye, Liese."

"But, Lauren, we've got English in ten!"

"Do I look like I'm bovvered by that? Do I, though?"

And that's how Lauren Alesha Masheka Tanesha Felicia Jane Cooper became the Doctor's new companion.

So I've never actually watched The Catherine Tate show to an extent, so I dunno if I got her exactly right...

Love your reviews, they make me happy!

- Impossible Oswin