So, I had initially planned to write one or two more chapters in this story, but as I was working on this one, it just seemed to come to a natural end. To the amazing people who have supported me through this years long journey, Beautiful Life comes to and end with this. BUT, this is not the end for the Lopez-Pierce family. For as long as I've been writing the Annie-verse, I've planned to do a third installment which includes snippets of their lives, not necessarily always told from Santana's point of view. Look for that, coming soon!
It felt like the rest of the summer went impossibly fast and before we knew it, we were bringing Annie to her first day of school. Surprisingly, she did really well and for the first few weeks, everything was calm. Of course, with Lizzie's wedding coming up, there was so much excitement in the air and by the time the weekend arrived, I was dropping Annie off to her first-grade classroom with her bouncing up and down, waiting for Grammy and Poppy and Abuela and Abuelo to get to New York. After I dropped her off, I went with Marisa to pick up the car so we could get my parents at the airport. The Pierces were already in town, though they'd been staying with Lizzie to help her get things ready for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, but we'd see everyone that night at the party.
Marisa was in a grumpy mood as we drove out to the airport. She screamed and yelled in the backseat and I tried to sing to calm her down. She had reached the age where she hated being in the car seat more than anything and as much as I tried not to put her in the car as much as I could, sometimes it just couldn't be helped and we had to do things. We were on the BQE, almost to the airport when I watched the temperature gauge start to creep slowly up on the dashboard. Realizing that we were not in a good situation, I pulled over to the side of the road. By the time I managed to navigate through the traffic and do that, it was already all the way up and I quickly turned off the car, so scared something bad was going to happen.
"Okay, Marisa, calm down for a minute, okay? I'm going to call Mama." I told her and dialed my phone, hoping Brittany would be able to pick up.
"Hey babe. Did you make it to the airport?"
"Um, no. I'm on the side of the BQE. The car is overheating."
"Shit. Are you okay?"
"Marisa's just doing her car screaming thing, but mostly, we're fine. I have to call AAA and my parents, so I can tell them to just take a cab. I just…I don't know, wanted to hear your voice."
"Do you want me to come there?"
"What are you going to do? Take a cab and have them drop you off on the side of the road? No, stay at work. I'm probably going to need you to get Annie though, who knows how long this is going to take…"
"Just keep me posted. If I have to, I'll get her and hand her off to your parents when I give them the key to the house. I'm really sorry I'm not there…"
"The car is six years old, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Goddamnit I knew we should have gotten a new car."
"I know you wanted to do it. I'm sorry we didn't do it and drove it all over the place this summer."
"It's not your fault. Ugh, it's just frustrating."
"I know. Call AAA and your parents and then call me back, okay?''
"Yeah, okay."
I hung up the phone with Brittany and then called AAA. They told me it was going to be over an hour before they were able to get there to move my car and I was totally freaked out about having to sit on the side of the road with Marisa. We were definitely in a safe spot but the way the baby screamed, I was sure it was going to be less than fun. My parents were still in the air so I sent my mom a text message, telling her to call me, then I called Brittany back, letting her know what was going on and that I'd be as careful as humanly possible while we waited. I climbed over the center console and took Marisa out of her car seat, letting her sit in my lap, even though she continued to scream.
"Okay, mija, I know this stinks, but we're going to ride in a tow truck and then we're going to see Abuela and Abuelo and Annie and Mama when we get back home."
"Mami no!"
"Trust me, kid, this isn't exactly the way I wish I was spending my day either but it is what it is. Maybe on Sunday after the wedding is over, we'll go out to Brooklyn and look at new cars. It's been a long time coming."
"Tar broke." She stopped screaming and pat the sides of my face.
"That's right, the car's broke. But it's okay. We're very safe."
"Nee Nee tome?"
"Annie's not going to come, no. But we're going to get here soon. We just have to wait a little while longer."
I managed to distract Marisa with a bottle and the toys I had in the car while we waited for the tow truck to come and when they finally showed up, I unbuckled Marisa's car seat and the tow truck driver helped me strap it into the middle seat of the truck while he hooked the car up to the pulley system and got it up on the bed of the truck. Luckily, Marisa didn't scream when I buckled her back into her seat and she was relatively content while the driver took us to the mechanic shop closest to our house. After talking to Brittany again, we decided that we weren't going to have the car fixed, but see if they could sell it so at least we would get something for a down payment when we bought our new car and I held Marisa on my hip while I talked to the guy that owned the shop and let him know what our plan was. Once everything was taken care of, I took everything of ours out of the car, including Annie's car seat and I hailed a cab, loading it up with everything and directing them to the house.
"Mami!" Annie cried from the porch when we pulled up, jumping up from where she sat with my parents. "Why'd our car break?"
"Our car is as old as you, mija and sometimes cars break down. It got very, very hot while I was driving it so we pulled over to make sure Marisa and I were very safe."
"Okay, good Mami." She nodded and kissed Marisa on the head. "Hi baby Reese."
"Hi Nee Nee! Hi!"
"Hi, mija." My mother wrapped her arms around me while my father helped get the things out of the cab. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"We picked that car because it was safe." Papi frowned. "I didn't expect you to break down on the side of the highway."
"It's fine, we've put a lot of miles on it in the time that we've had it. We've been talking about getting a new one for months. It was getting too small for us anyway."
"Why don't you let us buy you a new one?" He suggested, but I shook my head.
"You bought that one. Britt and I have already put aside money for a down payment and we kind of know what we want. It's too much of a gift for us to expect of you. Seriously, Papi, I know you're going to want to argue but let us do this."
"Whatever you want, mi amor. I'm not going to force it on you if you have it all taken care of."
"We do. We might go Sunday, depending on how late we sleep after the wedding."
"I can't imagine you'll sleep very late." Mami nodded to the two girls and I laughed.
"That's true, you know how it goes. What are you doing outside, anyway?"
"I wanted to wait for you, Mami! Mama said you were gonna come home soon, so we waited."
"I'm so happy for that." I lifted Annie into my arms. "I missed you today, corazoncita."
"I missed you too! And Baby Reese! But we're going to go to Auntia Liz's rehearsal party tonight, right? So we can see Auntia Liz and Max and Grammy and Poppy?"
"That's right. Mama's going to come home from work soon, and then we're going to start getting ready."
"And tomorrow, me and Baby Reese get to wear our special flower girl dresses, right?"
"I can't wait to see you girls in those." My mother smiled. "You're going to look so beautiful."
"They're so, so fancy 'Buela! Mami, can I show 'Buela now?"
"You can, let's go upstairs and we'll take them down from the closet."
We spent the afternoon with Annie showing my parents her dress and Marisa's dress, then going to the park so they could play and Marisa would have some of her energy burned off so she wouldn't be so scream-y at the party. When we were finished playing, my parents and I brought them back home just as Brittany was getting in and I took the girls upstairs to get them in the bath and start getting them ready. It was going to be a late night and I was a little concerned for how they would do, but Liz really wanted them at the rehearsal dinner and how could Britt and I say no to the bride?
"Baby?" I called out to Brittany once I got the girls out of the bath. "Are you in the bedroom?"
"In the bathroom." She called back. "Sorry, I just wanted to jump in the shower while you were doing that. I swear, I'll get them dressed and everything, I know you've had a rough day."
"Britt, I'm fine to get them ready, it's your sister's rehearsal dinner, do what you have to do."
"I love you." Brittany came out of the bathroom and kissed my lips, then kissed Marisa in my arms. "Hello, nakey baby."
"Mama, belly!" Marisa pat her belly and giggled, making Brittany and I both laugh too.
"Look at that little belly." Brittany blew a raspberry on it then kissed her pursed little lips. "Are we going to get you all dressed for Aunt Lizzie's party?"
"Me dress! Nee Nee!"
"That's right, Annie is going to wear her dress too."
"No! Nee Nee!" Marisa pointed to the door and Annie shuffled in, still naked and holding her dress for the party.
"Mami, I need help, it's too many zippers!"
"Here, baby girl." Brittany smiled, finishing the tie on her robe and taking Annie's dress. "Step in."
"This is almost as beautiful as my flower girl dress." Annie grinned, twirling around once Brittany zipper her in. "Auntia Liz isn't going to wear her wedding dress today, right?"
"Nope." Brittany smiled, bending over and untwisting the towel from her hair. "We're all going to wear our wedding clothes tomorrow and other clothes tonight. Come here, Miss Marisa, let's let Mami take a shower and we'll get you in your clothes."
"I'll help you, Mama!"
Leaving the girls with Brittany, I went into the bathroom and got in the shower. I realized in there that the day had really been longer than I'd realized and I let the water soak over me, leaching the stress out of my shoulders so I could just enjoy the night. Once I was finished, I wrapped myself in my robe and came out to where Brittany was standing in front of the mirror curling her hair. The girls were apparently downstairs with my parents and I wrapped my arms around Brittany's waist, nuzzling her neck and tickling her sides.
"Are you excited?" I murmured into her ear.
"So excited. I can't believe that my baby sister is getting married though. Jeeze, San, remember when we were younger and she was just an annoying little kid?"
"She interrupted my sweet lady kisses so many times." I laughed. "But she grew up into something really amazing. And I'm happy to say I actually like Max."
"This is such a far cry from you back when you were pregnant." She turned to kiss me. "But he's good. They're going to be happy and they're going to stay in our city where we get to spend lots of time with them."
"That would not have been the case if she married Christian." I rolled my eyes. "It would have been worse than going to Quinn's in Westchester, going to their stuffy house in Connecticut."
"Imagine I had to give a maid of honor speech at that wedding?" She chuffed. "I think my speech is all set for tomorrow, by the way?"
"Really? I know you were really nervous about it."
"Yeah, I think I'm good now. It's Liz, there's a lot I have to say about her."
"I always forget how cool it must be to have a sister." I smiled a little. "I'm glad our girls have one."
"Me too. I mean, Liz is basically your sister too, but even though she was a lot younger than me it was awesome to have someone growing up. It'll be good for Annie and Marisa to have that."
"Annie's so excited for them to match tomorrow. I remember the way Liz used to want to dress just like you. She totally rocked those leg warmers on her arms in second grade."
"Coolest kid in the second grade." Brittany chuckled. "Anyway, will you curl the back of my hair for me?"
"Always." I took the curling iron from her and she leaned her head forward, letting me start the curls in the back of her head. It was such a nice intimacy doing her hair and I stroked the back of her neck as I did, feeling her smile even though I couldn't see it.
When I was finished with her hair, she slipped into her dress while I started the long, arduous process of doing mine. She sat on the bed and talked to me as I blew out my hair, then straightened it, then put big, loose curls in it. It was rare we got to spend the whole time together getting ready, but I knew that the girls were good with my parents and if they needed to, someone would come and find us. When I was finally done with my hair, I looked at the time on my phone and then quickly did my makeup before changing into my dress. Brittany wrapped her arms around me once I was dressed and kissed my lips, making me smile against her mouth.
We went downstairs and my dad was in his suit and my mom was in a dress, all ready to go. I grabbed Marisa's diaper bag, where we'd packed pajamas for the girls in case it got too late and we had to change them and we went outside to hail a cab up to the restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was being held. Because Brittany had definitely told me it was a half an hour earlier than it actually was, we were the first ones there after Liz, Max and her parents and I smiled, seeing the way Liz hopped up and down with excitement when we walked in the door.
"Auntia Liz, you look super beautiful." Annie told her dreamily, tugging on the fabric of her dress.
"'Iz! 'Iz!"
"Hey, look at you saying me name." Liz grinned, taking Marisa from Brittany. "And thank you, Annie. I think you look super beautiful too."
"Can I sit by you at your party?"
"I saved you a seat right next to me, kiddo. And Dean and Caleb are going to go sit over by Max."
"Do I have to talk to them?"
"It might be nice if you could try to say hi to them." Liz gently encouraged. "But no, you don't have to talk to them."
"Santana, Brittany. Mr. and Mrs. Lopez." Max smiled. "What can I get you to drink?"
"Max, we can get our own drinks." Brittany shook her head, then pulled him in for a hug. "We're totally good, enjoy your party."
"I'm still not sure why we had a rehearsal dinner when we didn't have a rehearsal." Liz pursed her lips. "But Mom wanted it."
"You got to have the wedding Mom never got to throw for me."
"That's right." Susan came over to us, stealing Marisa from Liz and picking Annie up with her other arm. "Lizzie wanted the big wedding, Lizzie was going to get the big wedding."
"I didn't exactly want the big wedding." Liz whispered to me and Brittany. "But…I'm happy we're having it."
"What was that?" Susan raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing, Mom. Just talking to my bridesmaids."
"Right." She rolled her eyes. "People are starting to come, honey. You and Max should be by the door to greet everyone."
"So lucky you didn't do this." Liz looked at us pointedly and we laughed.
The whole night was a blur as Liz and Max sailed around the room and Brittany and I wandered the room with the girls, saying hello to her family members who were in from out of town. I was glad to see them, since I hadn't really been around them much since high school and I knew that Brittany sometimes missed her aunts, uncles and cousins. But they all lived so far from Lima and with wanting to see our parents more than any of our extended family, it was always tough to make a trip around the country. Maybe someday though, the girls would get to know Brittany's cousins' kids and judging by the way Annie played so nicely with Marcia's daughter Raven, it would be a welcome thing.
We were exhausted when we got home and my parents offered to help us get the girls down for bed. But both of them were so wound up and cranky from the sugar they had consumed, we knew that having any deviation from our routine would be a totally nightmare. Instead, we said goodnight to them and brought the girls up into Annie's room to read books before we settled them in their respective beds. Once we were finished, I stood at the mirror in the bedroom unpinning my hair and Brittany came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"Tonight was really nice." She hummed into my shoulder. "But I'm so glad it's Lizzie's wedding, not ours."
"You don't regret not having all of your family with us on our wedding day?" I asked, remembering that the decision to have a small wedding was mostly mine, having been in a place so emotionally fragile that bringing everyone else in would have sent me over the edge.
"I didn't care anything about our wedding except marrying you. The whole situation was so complicated with me being pregnant and you so early in recovery. I couldn't imagine us having a big party with alcohol and prying guests. I think the way we did it was perfect."
"You're right. I don't regret any of it. We had the people who meant the most to us there and that's all I needed. I do think we should make a point to see the rest of your family more often though. My family in America is so small, with Papi being an only child and most of Mami's family still being in Mexico. The girls should know the aunts and uncles and cousins."
"It was weird that most of them hadn't met our girls. I mean, remember the holidays when we were younger?"
"Your mom cooked for like seventy. What made her stop?"
"Honestly, not long after you left Lima, my mom and her sister Tamara had a big disagreement about my 'lifestyle.' After that, my mom stopped doing the big holidays. Liz didn't even invite Aunt Tam to the wedding."
"You never told me that." I cocked my head to the side. "You weren't even with a woman then."
"I know, but mom made no bones about telling her me being with…Sam didn't make me any less queer. That's really what started it, she said it was nice to see that I turned myself straight."
"What a bitch."
"You know that a lot of straight people don't get it." Brittany sighed. "It's one or the other for them."
"I always struggle when you talk about this because I know I've said things I shouldn't have said."
"Honey." She kissed my shoulder. "It's in the past, you were young and you know better now. And we're raising our girls to know better, that's what matters to me."
"I love you entirely for who you are, you know that, right?" I turned around in her arms and rested my forehead on hers.
"I do, you've always shown me that."
"Good, I plan on doing that for the rest of my life."
Though I would have liked to have gotten a good night's sleep that night, Annie was so excited about the wedding that she kept waking up and either Brittany or I would have to walk her back to her bed and get her settled again. By the time morning came, she had woken up six times and then when it was time to rouse her from sleep for the day, she was in the grumpiest of moods. Of course, that mood rubbed off on Marisa and we had two frustrated girls as we tried to get them fed breakfast before bath time."
"Why does Auntia Liz have to get married so early?" Annie grumbled, pushing around her French toast with her fork.
"No bed!" Marisa yelled, throwing her piece on the floor.
"Hey you two grumpy gills." Brittany raised an eyebrow at both of them. "Today is a very happy day and I'm not seeing any smiles. We're going to put on our fancy wedding clothes and you two are going to get to throw flowers. Annie, sweetheart, it wouldn't feel so early if you didn't keep getting out of bed last night. Remember how we talked about getting a good night's rest?"
"But Mama, I couldn't even sleep."
"I know that." Brittany nodded. "But it's harder to fall back to sleep if you walk around during the night."
"I just wanted it to be morning."
"And it is morning now." I interjected. "So, you should be very happy about that, right?"
"I guess so." She conceded. "I am excited to wear my dress."
"It's going to be a really good day." Brittany promised. "Now let's finish up so we can take baths."
Once the girls were in the tub, the laughter began and I found myself getting even more excited for the wedding. Lizzie deserved to have a day all about her and her beloved and I knew how special it felt to share your love with everyone around you. Of course, it took longer than we would have liked to get everyone ready, but with Annie and Marisa in their matching flower girl dresses and me and Brittany in our matching bridesmaid's dresses, we made our way to the ballroom and into Liz's bridal suite.
"You're so calm." I said to Liz, once the girls were occupied and Brittany had been sent to bring Max a love note.
"So were you when you got married. This is the first time in my life that I'm certain about another person. I know Max is my one. I can't wait to start the rest of my life with him, have him by my side as we both work on our careers, have kids with him. It's the most amazing feeling, I can't be anything but calm." She smiled, looking wistfully toward the door that she knew Max was behind. "By the way, this not seeing each other tradition is garbage."
"Tell me about it. You know, when Rachel got married, she told me it was a Jewish custom that after the ceremony, you spend some time with just your spouse, having snacks and reveling in each other."
"Really? Can you send in some snacks?"
"I'm pretty sure Susan and Stephen spent a fortune on this wedding, we can get you all the snacks you want."
"I'm doing it then. You know, this day is supposed to be about me and Max, but it's mostly entertaining other people."
"I know, it's pretty stupid. But you'll have the rest of your lives."
"You know, you and Brittany have always made it look so easy."
"It's not always easy. There are good days and bad days and we figure it out as we go along, but the one thing that has never been hard is loving her."
"It's never been hard to love you either." Brittany smiled from the doorway. "That's what makes a great marriage, that and communicating."
"Never, with anyone I've dated could I communicate with them like I can with Max. He's my best friend."
Lizzie was on cloud nine as Brittany helped her get into her dress and Susan and I watched amazed. The photographer had to have been taking the best pictures, the two sisters giggly and excited as they got the younger one ready. I looked at my own girls, sitting on the floor with a box of Duplos and I thought of the day one of them got married and hoped they'd still be as close as they were in their early childhood. As hard as it was for me to think about my girls growing up, I longed for them to always be there for each other and experience life's greatest joys.
Once Liz was dressed, my mother came in to help manage the girls because they would have to walk down the aisle after us. I was glad that Lizzie's bridesmaids were just the two of us and Max's groomsmen were just his two brothers, otherwise, things may have gotten too overwhelming for my sweet little Annie and she might not have been able to make it down the aisle. But it was fine and as we entered the room where the ceremony was, Brittany walked down the aisle first, followed by me and I took note of Max's huge smile as he stood at the altar with his brothers.
When we reached the front, I took my place beside Brittany and we walked as Annie held tight to Marisa's hand as the two of them threw flowers and walked so carefully down the aisle. Then, of course, came Liz and despite having seen her in her dress just moments before, I was enraptured by the magical moment in which she and Max locked eyes and she began her forever. That was the moment I started to cry and I tried to keep myself quiet through the vows, which proved even more difficult once Brittany took my hand and I recalled our own.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The non-denominational officiant told them, a grin plastering her face as she looked at them. "You may now kiss each other."
Marisa ended up in my arms as we walked back up the aisle and Annie glued herself to Brittany's side, but I knew that Lizzie wouldn't care that we broke tradition. Brittany and I had been breaking tradition for years and no one would expect any less of us at this wedding. The four of us stayed as a family as we were introduced by the DJ, followed by Dean and Caleb and finally, Liz and Max. It was dizzying, how much joy was in the room and my mother took Marisa from me so I could enjoy a moment just embracing my wife in a room full of love.
We ate, we danced—Brittany and I were so glad to be part of the anniversary dance and outlasting so many of Lizzie's married friends on the dance floor until we finally had to leave when the DJ said for people married less than eight years to leave—and then, though I shouldn't have been surprised, I was shocked to see Lizzie's boss Kate approaching me. It had been years since I'd seen her and memories of the last day of the trial hit me, but not in a bad way. Kate represented only good things to me, justice and calm, and I gave her a smile as she walked toward me.
"It's so good to see you, Santana." She smiled at me and I reached out to take her hand. "Liz talks about you all the time."
"Good things, I hope." I laughed, catching Brittany doing the chicken dance out of the corner of my eye.
"She adores you. It's part of what makes her so good at her job."
"She was just a kid when everything happened, I'm really surprised it impacted her as much as it did."
"I've told her that she could easily go into victim's advocacy, if she decided what we do isn't what she wants. She ends up dealing with a lot of my worst cases, because she puts living victims at ease so much." Kate told me and I felt a swell of pride in my chest for my sister-in-law.
"She's a good kid, and I really appreciate you giving her the opportunity to work with you."
"Her resume fit with what I was looking for." Kate shrugged. "And she had a passion I didn't see in any of the other applicants I interviewed."
"I've gotta say, Kate, it's really good to see you in a social setting. It's like, coming full circle or something."
"You look good, you look happy. I don't usually get to see people I work with after the trial is over."
"I owe so much of that to you."
"You don't. You only owe what happens after a trial to yourself, don't forget that."
After I chatted with Kate a little longer, I walked away with her words in my ear. It had been a long six months, a long journey overall, really, since I had been attacked, but standing there at my sister-in-law's wedding, I was in a good place. Maybe I would never not need help from my family and a prescription to be totally settled, but I had those things, I was lucky. There are things in life outside of your control that define you sometimes, but it had been a hard fight for me to learn that it wasn't all of who I was. I ran a foundation for kids who needed my help, I was a daughter to parents who supported me, I was a wife to the woman I loved, I was a mother to the two most amazing little girls in the world. And most importantly, I was okay.
"Hey." Brittany came up to my side, holding a sleeping Marisa in one arm and a barely awake Annie at her leg. "Are you ready to go?"
"I am." I nodded. "Let's go home."