It almost became like their thing over the next several days. Nicky would find Piper cleaning whichever bathroom hadn't been defiled that evening as she brought Vause in for her nightly cleansing. When they joined Piper she would take a break from her duties and sit perched next to the sinks. It was almost like clockwork: enter her and Vause; Chapman places the mop and bucket in the corner, seating herself on the counter; she takes care of Vause; Chapman watches; Vause calms; cue Chapman bringing a damp cloth and mouthwash then watching them leave. They don't even talk, just a simple nod suffices. Sometimes it is because Nicky is just too damn tired to try to form her usual raunchy remarks. Most of the time is it because she doesn't know what to say. The third night she almost insisted that the blonde take care of Vause while she went back and got some more shut-eye. Maybe even attempted to crawl into Morello's bunk again. One look at Chapman though and she changed her mind. The woman was physically there on the counter but Nicky could have sworn that she had been a hundred miles away. It was the same pretense Nicky watched her assume whenever the blonde saw Luschek. She wasn't sure what to do. Chapman still somehow seemed to sense when Nicky needed something, be it a wet cloth or mouthwash for the brunette; Piper would hand them over, her gaze sliding off somewhere, anywhere? else. She got the impression that Chapman didn't want to make eye contact with her while she was there with Vause. What the fuck was that about?

At least the bag of bones seemed to be healing. Watson had taken it upon herself to keep an eye on the woman when they were both outside, and per her reports, Chapman had been frequenting the track quite a bit. Nicky was glad that Chapman was out and getting some color; her skin wasn't as translucently white as it had been when she first emerged topside but it still maintained a somber hue. Nicky figured that could be attributed to the woman's substandard eating habits. A single Nature Valley bar is not enough to get anyone through an entire day, especially when said person has double work duties. She confronted the stubborn woman only to be left annoyed and frustrated; the little shit didn't even care. If anything, it seemed to make Chapman put more distance between them.

Nicky snorted to herself as she left the back of the kitchen with another cup of broth and water. She didn't know how the woman did it. Even though they spent most of their time together it seemed as if there was an increasing... space? ...void? Something was coming between them and she didn't know what the fuck to make of it. Considering the fact that they spent time around each other during electric and partially during her bathroom duties, the fact that the blonde was so detached from everything around her significantly bothered Nicky. Slowing down, she narrowly avoided the incoming traffic into the cafeteria, halting her current train of thought.

At least someone seemed to be genuinely taking a turn for the better. Placing the broth down, she shook the slumbering woman awake.

"Hey Rip Van Winkle, trying to sleep through your whole stint in Litchfield?" Nicky was met with a mumble as a haggard face sluggishly turned her direction, one eye squinting open.

"How many years have passed?" the brunette's hoarse throat ground out.

"A hundred. And Diaz's grandchild is the president of the great United States of America. Land of the Free, Home of the Wretched. Here," she placed the water in Vause's hand, "drink this before your old ass disintegrates into dust."

She watched as Alex cautiously sat up and sipped some of the water. "You're an asshole, Nichols," she said after a few moments.

Nicky couldn't hold back the scoff that leap from her mouth, but before she could continue Vause cut her off. "You get into a fight with Morello?" The brunette drained the rest of the water and slid herself back under her blanket.

"Huh. Yea of course you don't remember. Just fucking drink the broth, Vause." Nicky wasn't in the mood to hash this out just yet. Morello had insisted on trying to cover up the bruise but they both soon discovered that there is only so much makeup that can be applied around a person's eye. At least the Nivea she put on it at night seemed to be helping. She never actually thought that she would make any use out of her "interest." Guess Chapman had been onto something.

Vause reached up and pulled on her glasses from atop the cabinet. "Don't remember what?" she rasped out, still peeking one eye open.

"Nearly making me permanently blind, now sit your ass up," Nicky sighed.

"Don't fuck with me Nichols," Alex's gravelly voice demanded. It nearly made her laugh that she could practically hear the woman's arched eyebrow just from her tone of voice.

"It's a little late for that, don't ya think?" Nicky practically smirked. She really wasn't in the mood to have a heart to heart over her near-death experience with her assailant. "But I'm not. This shiner has you written all over it. Don't worry, once I finish nursing you back to health I am going to beat the living shit out of you."

The brunette looked a little taken aback but recovered quickly. "Yea, you and what army? I would love to see you try. I have both height and reach on you."

"Yea, well two against one sounds like pretty good odds to me." With the way Chapman has been acting maybe she would take her side if it ever came to that, though Nicky was pretty damn sure it wouldn't. Too bad, she could have got some practical use out of those UFC skills she'd acquired.

"Hiring someone to beat me up? Nicky, I thought you had more class than that. Did that mother of yours teach you nothing?" Nicky bit the inside of her cheek as her eyebrows shot up. Sonofabitch.. Motherfucking low blow Vause. Obviously you're feeling fine enough to take care of yourself.

"No, I am not hiring her. I think she would do it gladly, if she heals in time." The blonde scowled as she watched the brunette grimace.

"Who did I piss off now?"

Wouldn't you like to know, you giant asshole. "Same person whom I am pretty sure you might have broken rib. Or two. It's hard to tell since we can't take her to the clinic."

A hand on Nicky's elbow pulled her down, closer to the mattress and the half-blind woman occupying it. "What the fuck are you talking about? I only remember seeing you and Morello, that's it. Sometimes I am not sure if it was a nightmare or you were actually here."

"I think that might have been part of the problem."

Green eyes searched her face, "What problem?"

It looked as if the brunette was easing up on the snarky-ness, but Nicky wasn't going to give in so quickly. You don't hit someone below the belt like that and then expect the person to want to be best buddies the next minute. She extracted her elbow from the woman's grasp and stood up. "I gotta go Vause. Work and shit. Feel better soon." Before she turned she reached out to rustle Vause's hair, clearly antagonizing the woman.

"Hey, Nicky?"

She almost hadn't heard the voice as she made to leave the cube. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Alex leaning up from her mattress, the question evident in the set of her features.

Nope, jackass can come out and say it on her own. "If the broth is too cold you're going to have to actually get up and heat it yourself."

"No, that's not..." Alex glanced down as she sighed, locking her gaze back to Nicky. "How is she?"

If only you knew, kid. Hell, if only I knew! She knew this wasn't the time nor place to have this discussion. Plus, she was going to be late for electric if she didn't get her ass moving now. Looking the brunette in the eye she casually shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly left the cube. It was no use stirring up shit when nothing could be done about it. I've seen enough shit around this place for an entire lifetime. No point in causing more.

"You can't be serious." Taystee leaned back against the wall, an incredulous look on her face. "I ain't see no flies buzzin' 'round er head."

"That's the beauty on hygiene products, I guess." Nicky rested her head back against the opposite side of the wall.

Taystee remembered how Miss Claudette had always gotten Honor Cube, even when Chapman was her cube-mate. "Guess she don't care 'bout honor bunk."

"Nah, that shit doesn't carry much weight if you don't eat in the cafeteria. I think we got lucky that Luschek decided to be an asshole. I don't think she would have taken a shower otherwise."

Taystee nodded her head in agreement. "Dats sum bullshit but I think we got her clothes to da laundry in time, that coffee shouldn't stain too bad. Hell, I was close to sickin' Sophia on her ass. Practically had to hold the bitch down to keep her from nagging Chapman and shit. She calmed da fuck down once I told her what's up."

Taystee saw Nicky's eyes bug out. "What the fuck do you mean you told her?" she hissed.

"Chill out whitey, fuck. She cool. You know how she do. Shiit, the woman wants to help. If I was her I'd keep my nose to the floor, ya feel me? Shit like dis only leads to trouble." Nicky still looked pissed, but at least she was giving it some thought.

"Did she have any..." Nicky never finished her sentence as they both spotted Leanne walking down the hall. The woman had no reason to be in this section of the prison so it didn't take a college degree to figure out what she was here for. Taystee straightened herself and put on her best "don't fuck wit me" face. To her right she noticed Nichols tense and did the same.

Leanne approached and they blocked the entrance to the bathroom. There was no way in hell they were letting her go in there while Chapman was taking a shower. They both knew what happened last time Piper had been confronted in the bathroom by Pennsatucky and her crew of crazy meth-heads. Taystee had seen it with her own eyes. She didn't want to think about what she might have walked into if she had been just five minutes later.

"Don't think you two sinners can prevent the will of God. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done!" Leanne jeered, her eyes gleaming.

"Yeah, on Earth as it is in Heaven, bitch," Taystee spat out. "Now back the fuck off before I am tempted to kick ya boney white ass."

Nicky walked forward, stopping only a couple feet from the oily blonde. There was a fire in her eyes that Taystee had never seen before. The little woman actually looked intimidating. Nicky glared at Leanne for several moments before opening her mouth to speak. "I suggest that you leave. Now."

The meth-head put distance between herself and Nichols. She knew that the two bodyguards couldn't and wouldn't be around twenty-four seven. Mr. Christ would give her an opportunity to fulfil his word. Tucky was right, she just had to be patient and let God be her guide.

"Sinners go to hell. Sinners always go to hell." She backed away, a creepy smile plastered on her face, and left in the direction she came.

Taystee let out a sigh. "Bitch's fuckin' psycho."

"Yea," Nicky let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Tell me about it."

"See, now you know why I wanted you to keep an open mind." Alex looked over at the blonde seated next to her. Now that the lights were turned up Alex could clearly see the culture-shocked expression the woman wasn't even making an effort to hide. It was priceless.

"Hey Piper, guess what?" The blonde turned to peer at her, eyes still wide as saucers. Undoubtedly the woman was still trying to process the last hour and a half. The brunette leaned forward, subtly placing a hand on the blonde's thigh. "I got backstage passes. Come on, let's go meet her."

Alex practically had to drag Piper from her seat. She assumed it was just the way that the woman dealt with things that brought her outside her comfort zone, not that she didn't actually want to meet the comedian. Luckily she found her footing as Alex flashed her access ticket to the man guarding the door backstage. They were guided back to a little sitting room complete with a full bar. Lea was popping the cap off an Anchor Steam, still in her stage suit.

"What are ya havin'," came the comedians booming voice.

"Beer for me. She'll take a Don Julio on the rocks, if you got it," Alex ordered for the both of them. Apparently it hadn't gone unnoticed.

Lea looked up from pulling out a second beer. "Cute couple? I can see who wears the pants."

Alex chuckled at the innocent question. "No I just like fucking her. And if I'm not mistaken," she looked over to a blushing blonde, "she likes fucking me too." If she hadn't been watching her so intently Alex would have missed the corners of the blonde's mouth tilt slightly downward. She tried to catch Piper's eye to see if she had gone too far by embarrassing her, but the woman kept her focus on the production of her drink.

"Well," Lea cut in, handing Alex and Piper their respective drinks. "What the fuck are you doing here when you could just stay in bed all day?"

"The look on her face," Alex answered immediately. She wrapped her arm around Piper and kissed her temple. "I think the little WASP is still shell-shocked."

"Yeah, I have that effect on people. Shock and awe has its uses to a lesbian comedian such as myself. Really I am just tellin' it like it is; most folks think I make the jokes up for comedic value. This is just my life, my experiences...without a filter of course." She winked and took a pull from her beer before continuing. "I don't think it would be nearly as funny if I had to sub out pussy, dildo, and cunt for more 'politically correct' terms to appease those with sensitive fucking ears."

"Your piece about dental dams was really interesting. There is truth behind it, as you pointed out. They really are hard to find. Any place that stocks condoms should carry dental dams as well." Alex smiled at the woman next to her. It seemed as if she had finally found her voice. Maybe this might not be as awkward as she initially thought.

Lea laughed heartily, shaking her head back and forth at the idealistic notion. "Honey, I don't think that will be happening any time soon."

Alex sat up sleepily in her bed. She had woken up in the middle of an actually decent dream. Well, decent compared to the recent nightmares she had been having since her withdrawals kicked in. Both categories starred the same blonde figure, something Alex wished she could have changed when her body decided to turn on her. This one, however, hadn't been terrible. It was just a memory from her past, one of the many times she had taken the blonde WASP out of her comfort zone only to watch as she adapted to suit the given situation. Her Pipes could do that and it amazed her every time. No matter how far she pulled the blonde from her own natural environment she always managed to bounce back. She always found a way to stay true to herself regardless of the circumstances; it was one of the many things she loved about her.

That still didn't explain why she had woken up. The only reason her foggy brain could come up with is that she had to pee from all the fluids she drank earlier in the day. That was a good sign though, she decided. It meant that her body's functions were returning to normal. About fucking time.

Slowly but surely, Alex made her way to the Suburb bathroom. The lights in the hallway nearly blinded her in the near-sleepwalking state that she was in. As she got closer to the entrance the sound of voices could be heard emanating from within. Positioning herself just around the corner she was able to catch a few words.

"...keep doing this. It's not just guna go away because you..." Alex quietly shuffled closer but the words were still too muffled to make any sense. Fuck it, guess I'm interrupting someone's little tête-à-tête. She rubbed her eye with the back of her hand, stifling a yawn as she rounded the corner. To say she was surprised at who she found was an understatement. Alex stopped and took in the scene before her: Piper leaning back against the sink counter with Nicky directly in front of her, clutching her hands and trying to keep her attention. The taller blonde looked like she was trying not to keel over while Nichols' grasp acted as a stabilizer.

Nicky opened her mouth to continue on whatever lecture she had been delivering when she caught sight of Vause in the mirror. Alex watched as Nicky froze and looked at her in confusion. Sensing some sort of change, Piper lifted her head, noticing Alex's presence as well; she seemed to shrink into herself at the sight of Alex, and if the brunette didn't know any better she would think that Piper was recoiling from her.

Well, this is awkward.

Giving her best smirk considering how exhausted she was and cocking an eyebrow, she quipped, "Cute couple?"

Her smile faltered as Alex watched what she could only interpret as discomfort flash behind previously emotionless blue eyes. Nicky released her hold on Piper's hands and the blonde brought them up across her chest defensively. "No, I just like fucking her," she retorted quietly, her voice quivering slightly.

White hot jealousy flared in the pit of Alex's stomach at the idea of Nicky with Piper. Her mind wasted no time in conjuring up the images of the two that had plagued her recent string of nightmares.

Before Alex could respond, Nicky cut in. "Vause you're an asshole if you believe that for a single second." Alex looked between the two women, her gaze lingering on the way Piper's uniform hung off her body and the dark circles that stood in stark contrast with her pale complexion. From her cursory inspection and the taller blonde's demeanor she would have been surprised if the woman could muster up the energy to fuck anything. Why didn't Nicky mention this when she asked earlier?

Alex watched as Nicky turned to look incredulously at the blonde. "Where the fuck did that come from anyway? Did you suddenly grow some balls under those khakis? Should I be calling you 'Peter,' Piper?"

"No," Alex spoke up, not pleased with the way Nichols was ragging on the woman. "It's a conversation from the past. I'm actually surprised you remembered," she pointedly looked to Piper even though the woman wasn't looking in her direction. Taking a few steps forward, she made her way to the stall. "Sorry to disturb your little secret meeting but I really do have to pee."

"Sure Vause," Nicky tossed at her as she closed the stall door. The sound of shuffling feet filled the silence a moment before a sink was turned on high. The running water acted as a mask for the indistinct murmurs that Alex could just barely discern. By the time she had finished and washed her hands the women were quiet, somewhere on the other side of the divider by the showers. Craning her neck, Alex could just catch a glimpse of Chapman slouched against the far wall, arms wrapped around her abdomen, and head resting on her knees.

She felt a pressure build up in her chest as she watched the blonde's body wrack with silent sobs and muffled gasps for air. She wanted to rush to her, pull the blonde into her arms and soothingly kiss away whatever was causing her such incredible distress. If Nicky had done something...

A hand clamped onto her arm and dragged her back toward the entrance. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" Nicky's voice came out as a low hiss.

"Maybe I should ask you the same, what the fuck did you do to her!" Alex felt her temper rising as she eyed Nicky's defensive posture.

"What did I do? You're fucking kidding me right? You think I did that? You must still be high out of your fucking mind Vause!"

This was unbelievable. What, did the crazy-haired dwarf think she was retarded now? "If it wasn't you then tell me why the fuck she is back there crying Nicky. What the hell happened in the last two minutes to set that off?"

Brown eyes blinked at her in disbelief. "How many brain cells did you manage to kill off in that brilliant brain of yours? Fuck Vause! I told you she needs some space!"

A light bulb seemed to flicker to life above Vause's head, only to be shattered against a violent wave of denial. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're saying I did that? She was fine just a couple minutes ago, hell we were joking with one another."

"Are you even hearing yourself right now? She was fine? You have no fucking clue, do you? You haven't even seen her lately!" Nichols' fists shook with barely controlled rage. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. They were supposed to be friends, not divided over Alex didn't even know what; the blonde wouldn't tell her.

"You're right," Alex purposefully eased the malice from her voice. "You're right, Nicky. I have no idea; I have not seen her. I've had some shit to deal with on my own, as you are well aware." Alex looked Nicky square in the eye, "So tell me. Tell me what's been going on around here."

Nicky sighed and ran a hand through her tangled mass of hair. "It's not my place. Fuck, I don't actually know for sure."

The uncertainty in Nicky's voice sent chills racing down Alex's spine. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, Vause," Nicky glanced back toward the back of the bathroom. "I'm doing my best here. It probably doesn't look like it to you, but this," she motioned her hands, signifying the current situation. "This is an improvement."

"Are you kidding me?" Disbelieve practically seeped from Alex's features.

"No, I'm not. There is so much that is fucked up about this whole mess that I have to count my victories regardless of how small they are. She's improving at the moment. Kind of-"

"I'll go back there. Maybe I can fix whatever happened. Or at least find out what it was so-" Nicky cut of Alex's spoken train of thought.

"I don't think so Vause. The woman needs your help; there is no arguing that fact. As I said, I was doing my best but I know the only person who she truly needs right now is your lesbian ass." Nicky held up a hand, asking Vause to hold off for a second. "But the fucked up part is that she's not ready for that just yet. She's back there," Nicky tossed a thumb over her shoulder, "having another panic attack and christ knows what else, simply because she spoke to you."

"Because she spoke to me? Why would that..."

"Why? Because SHU messes people up. If the gang and I hadn't worked so hard to keep your drugged ass out of it for possession you would know what I'm talking about. Frankly, you should thank us; SHU experience is not something to boast about. And sixteen weeks...Fuck. Since you don't know what time in solitary does to a person you just have to trust me. She needs space Vause. When it comes to you something triggers in Chapman and I get results like this prime example. The best way for you to help her right now is to give her time and distance."

Alex pulled her arms across her chest, clearly not amused with this conclusion. "How much time are we talking about here?"

"I duno. It's up to her." Nicky reached out and gave Alex's arm a light punch. "I should be getting back in there. Just give the woman some space for a while, alright?"

Alex turned and padded her way back to her bunk. Why the hell did Nicky really want her to stay away? If this was Piper doing better, then how the hell had she been before? Alex could feel her chest still aching with images of her ex looking so helpless, so defeated, holding herself alone as she whimpered into the rough cloth of her khakis. After what Alex had seen and what Nicky told her, she honestly expected Alex to steer clear of the blonde?

Yea, fuck that.

Author's Note: Anyone else going to be totally and completely worthless June 6th?