Summary: There are ten things that Noel is not good at; well, maybe Serah is exaggerating, just a little, but it's still a lot of things. And then there's one he is good at.

Disclaimer: No.

A/N: This isn't a bashing fic in any way, before you ask; I do like Noel quite a bit (not as much as the rest of the XIII-2 guys but shush), but there are several things he is rather dorky at. He is such a show-off in combat; how are backflips practical? Caius never did anything like that!

So. Uh. Yeah. Remember; this ain't a bashing story, just poking fun at several of his things. Bashing's saying "OH GOD HE IS AWFUL AND ANNOYING AND TAKES SERAH AWAY FROM SNOW OMIGOSH!11!11!1!". Poking fun is completely different.

P.S. People with extraordinary good memories may remember that this was actually reuploaded before, but I took it down for reasons. A big thanks to Yandere Shoujo for convincing me to upload it again. :3

Serah did like Noel. She really did.

It was just... just... well.

He was a good friend and all, but it was rather annoying the way that he spent half of his time moping. And Serah did understand – and tried her very hardest to be patient – but no matter how many times she comforted him over Caius, or Yeul, or his memories, or his grandmother, or something, he would throw himself into a mood five minutes later about another thing. It drove her crazy!

Also, he was impossibly flashy with his swords.

Yeah.

That was just plain annoying.

Noel was also not very good with sarcasm.

Bless him, he did try; he called giant wobbling green messes jellybeans, slammed his hand against his forehead while groaning...

But no amount of flashy swords could hide the fact that, next to her sister, he was nothing. Lightning could snipe at someone and waltz out of the building before they'd even realised what had happened; Noel was like a rock. He made the remark, then expected someone to compliment on his 'snazzy' words, like: "HAHA that was funny Noel!"

She supposed that was to be expected from the last human, but...

Serah could also not understand how, or why, Noel was such a show-off while it came to fighting.

He twirled and leaped and flipped and everything, while Serah's abilities extended to jumping a few feet in the air with a bow.

But really. It wasn't like anyone, save her and poor Remus, was actually there to watch him be impossibly cool while in combat. Both Lightning and Snow had taught her that as long as you smacked the guy, it didn't really matter how you smacked him, as long as you did.

Then again, Lightning was a show-off, too.

Bleh.

Another complaint Serah had about Noel was when they were in the Sunleth Waterscrape, and she wanted to kiss Snow. So she did. After all, it wasn't like he was her fiancé or anything. She hadn't seen him in, well, years; and it was her fault, too!

But both Noel and Mog promptly squeaked and covered each other's eyes when she kissed him.

Snow, bless him, didn't seem to mind. But Noel was furious! He kept on squawking and flapping his arms about like a deranged Cie'th.

"Noel," said Serah, "haven't you done this with Yeul?"

"What!? Uh, no!"

"So, uh, Serah?"

She turned around to Snow, smiling. "Yeah?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "You don't... you don't, uh, like Noel or anything, do ya?"

"I do?"

Snow shook his head. "No, no, I mean... like like him? 'Cause if you do, that's totally fine; just tell me first, and you two can, I dunno, do whatever it is you want to do. I mean, he's betterlookingandyoungerandsmallerohdefinitelysmallerI'magiantandIdon'thavefashionsenseand-"

Serah silenced him with a long kiss. Noel squawked again. Mog bopped him with his wand.

When they broke away, she grinned. "You kidding? He's Noel. Way too immature."

"Hey!"

"Serah, the weapon you use is called a bowsword. I think you're forgetting the 'bow' part of it."

Serah giggled. Who made air quotes any more? Really? "Noel. You're forgetting the part of 'hitting the monster, not showing yourself off'."

"I do not-" Noel sighed. "I am not a show-off. Look; it's the way I was taught."

"Really? I've seen Caius fight; he just smashes things as hard as he can. It's actually quite an excellent tactic. Snow and Lightning use it."

"Snow nearly got killed by a jellybean."

"Oh! You must show off to Yeul! Right?"

"...WHAT!?"

"She's right, kupo!"

"I don't think Noel likes me, kupo," was what Mog said as he fluttered up to Serah. She gave him a tight squeeze and poked his pom-pom.

"Really? Why?"

"He keeps on throwing me in those flowers, kupo." Mog's stubby finger pointed to a patch of bright pink fingers. Noel was digging through them, apparently not seeing the giant shadow of the long gui falling over him. "He thinks there's some really rare and powerful monster there, kupo!"

"Really."

"Really, kupo!"

Serah leapt off the chocobo's back. She had some words to share with him. "Noel! We need to talk!"

Yeul poked the black, rocky substance with her fork. In another life, it could have been called a flan.

Now? It was just called a mess.

Caius seemed to be having similar thoughts to her. Frowning, he raised the goo up and threw it at the back of Noel's head.

The former-liquid smashed into tiny fragments upon impact.

Noel turned around from the stove, eyes narrowed. "Caius."

"You cannot cook, Noel," came the flat response. "I have seen flan make food better than... this."

Noel blinked. Yeul giggled. "Flan... just digest food."

"Exactly."

Another blink. "So I can't cook?"

"Yes."

Ten-year-old Yeul was making a necklace when fourteen-year-old, dangerously hormonal Noel burst through the wooden door. It fell off its hinges.

Again.

Yeul sighed.

"Yes, Noel?"

"Where's Caius!?" he hissed. "He left on another hunt without me!"

"He goes out on hunts daily."

"I know that, but-!" Noel looked ready to tear out his long hair. "Why doesn't he trust me!? I'm the last Guardian, right? He should trust me!"

"Noel."

"Yeah?"

"I believe Caius lost trust in you the day that you lost his eidolith."

Noel stared at her, then stormed out of the house.

"That was one time."

"Noel," Caius began cautiously. He held up an eerie, dark-purple eye that seemed to pulse with life. "This is an eidolith. You lost it three years ago."

"Like I don't know that."

"An eidolith is used to summon an Eidolon."

"Hey, wait."

Caius sighed. "Yes?"

"Eidolons are Etro's gift to l'Cie, right?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"So... so you're a l'Cie!?" He took a step back. "When!?"

"Was," Caius corrected. "Etro was... kind enough-" He silently snorted. "-To remove from me the cursed brand."

"Yeah, cool, but when?"

"Hundreds of years ago... Noel, are you only realising this now?"

"Yeah?"

Serah had to give Noel this; he was very flashy, but he was very good at being very flashy. She could count the number of times he'd hurt himself on one hand without any fingers, while she'd need her toes to count the number of accidents she had.

And for Etro's sake, she had a bow. That was a sword. Also, a moogle. But mainly a bow.

So when Noel healed her after she cut her hand again on Mog's string, she let him know.

"Thanks, Noel." She accepted his hand up, and giggled as he sheathed away his swords and swung them onto his back. "At least one of us is good at healing, huh?"

"Yeah, I know. You're a mess."

"I-I'm not that bad!"

He gave her his withering look, eyes raised to the top of his lids. "Serah. Remember that time you tried to heal Pudding in Augusta Tower?"

"...And I froze him, instead?"

"Yeah."

She exhaled softly. "Good point. But I'm a better Sentinel than you, definitely. You can't even steelguard!"

He shook his head. "This again..?"

"How can you not steelguard? Snow can!"

"Didn't he get flattened?"

"Oh shush."

And with that, they carried on.