Dimes and Quarters

By: Rachel

Chapter 6

A/N: Uh hi lol. So yes, I might have taken a 6-year hiatus but I fell back in love with Glee so I'm back! 20 and obsessed. This is actually a chapter I never published from 2014. My writing isn't as bad as I thought either, for a 14 yo. I realized that I have about 16 pages of random events for this fic so I'm going to get back into writing. Anyways, without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

The midnight air floods his senses, a gentle sigh escapes his mouth and his eyes gaze up towards the night sky, freckled and illuminated by a hundred stars. Nick was asleep; he was sure, judging by the way he snores so openly and without regret. Just one of the many things Kurt would have to adjust to.

Life in Dalton, took its turn from nightmare to pleasant but maybe that was all in his mind. But out of a hundred thoughts which plagued him, he only thought of the unrighteousness of Jeff's thoughts. He was no religious man, accepted no higher being for longer than half of his life, but he remembered the words of the counselors in his health camp. He remembered their tone, quick and lashing but they made sense nonetheless.

This thought bothered him to end, as he gazes back at Nick's sleeping form, hidden behind the blankets wrapped around him. He wonders if Nick was normal, or Jeff's accusations were nothing but a way to deter him away from his friend. He understood that much. The need to protect a friend from going to a place that wasn't desired. He remembered feeling it countless times with his acquaintances back in McKinley.

He hears a rustle of the bushes and a figure lurks out, not secretively, but aware and cautious. Kurt's eyes squint as he tries to make out the face which seems to shy away from the moonlight, but he soon identifies the person to be Jeff.

"Alone?" Kurt intones as Jeff passes under his dorm balcony.

He watches Jeff jump in surprise, looking around him until finally looking up and settling his eyes on Kurt.

"Oh," Jeff grumbles, "It's you."

"It is me."

"Why are you awake at this time? Is Nick asleep?"

"Reasons. And yes, Nick is passed out."

Jeff clicks his tongue, "I would assume that you won't be telling anyone of my little midnight stroll."

Kurt keeps his lips firm, and his head emotionless as he looks below, "I won't."

"Good," Jeff straightens up his pjs which just looks ridiculous in Kurt's opinion, "Since you're awake. And I am awake, how about we talk? I feel like we're Romeo and Juliet talking to each other with you on the balcony."

"Uh okay," Kurt frowns at the accusation, "I just hope you're not trying to kill me."

"Not tonight, that is. You have my word."

"I'm coming down."

They circle the school in what felt like too long and too odd when Kurt breaks the silence.

"Something wrong?"

Jeff shakes his head, "Not quite. Just something that's always been plaguing my mind I guess."

Jeff swings his hands forward as he lets out a deep sigh, "Are you sure you don't like Nick?"

"Not in the way you implied, I guess."

"Then I presume what I would say next won't, you know, get out."

"Sure."

"And I'm just hoping you really don't talk much because I would die. But I-I really need to tell someone."

"Go on."

"Nick, he's- he's very special. To me. In many ways, he's just an incredible person. Maybe not the perfect person-"

"I may know where you are going with this." Kurt cuts in.

"Disgusted then?"

"Appalled," Kurt confirms, but then lets out a sigh as he takes in Jeff's glazed over eyes of defeat, "But not as much as I would have admitted a while ago."

"I thought you don't support the gay thing." Jeff mutters, pace gradually slowing down.

"Same-sex," Kurt corrects, uncomfortable with the subject, "and yeah, maybe I don't. But maybe it's because I'm unfamiliar on the reason."

"There's no reason." Jeff laughs.

"I supposed it's the same then. With normal people."

"I am normal," Jeff bites back, instantly shying away from Kurt with hidden anguish, "it hurts like hell though. I hate it. It's stupid and no one really wins from this. From this-this bullshit." Jeff gestures to the air around them.

Kurt stares at the back of Jeff's head for a little bit longer as the boy walks in front of him. Kurt was not a talker. Nor should he be.

This is just him seeing someone hurt. Help others, wasn't that the rule? No matter how foreign the problem is to him?

"I just thought you know, liked to entertain the idea."

"The idea?"

"I was like you," Jeff mumbles, "not knowing much about this whole gay thing. That this whole part was just a big joke. That people like them they were a joke. A laugh. Not human. Not really."

Kurt watches Jeff wrap himself tighter around his arms, looking like he was begging for himself to stop spilling his nonsense into Kurt's mind and Kurt was angry at himself for staying to listen to a boy that was trying to make a mess of the rules humanity, to curve simplicity.

"And well, you know. I was that type of boy, who suddenly started thinking lesbians were cute. In an honest innocent sense. I thought that hey- gay people actually exist and that they're-they're normal. Just…normal. But the idea of two men? I thought that was fucking disgusting. I didn't support them I found them to be repulsive and I wouldn't even dare look their way without shuddering."

Jeff pulled in a breath and a silent exhale, "But then I started realizing, started looking at boys…differently. And I thought the idea was funny, that no one needed to know. This was just all me, I could keep it to myself. And that I-I still liked girls! I'll be straight, no one needs to know, I'll be fine. That this thing, these thoughts wouldn't affect me. But God, they did," Jeff chokes, "Fucking Nick did."

Kurt continues to stare at Jeff, not knowing what to say at the confession. Tell him what, to just run away from how he felt? Do those things even work that way?

"Being an in the closet bisexual- is both a blessing and a curse. I can't date any girls to put my mind off Nick because I'm socially awkward and no matter how hard I try, I always fall too easily and it's just stupid and meaningless and exhausting. And it hurts me. Too much."

"Aren't you a little too young to be worrying about this? We're in high school."

"Yeah, but we're living in a comedic world who makes stupid teenagers fall in love with other stupid teenagers to only regret it when they can't get what they want and scream out 'pity me, pity me'!"

"Pity me." Kurt says quietly.

"What about it?"

"Pity me with my standards of a wonderful life too high and reality too low. Pity me that I can't remember if most of my summer was something absolutely wonderful or absolutely horrible. And pity me that I feel like I'm not me and that I'm someone else with a mind too far away to bring back. Pity me, pity me-"

"You're fucking lost."

Kurt chuckles, startling Jeff, "We both are."

Jeff manages and a smile and looks down at Kurt's hand. He scoops it up, ignoring Kurt's uncomfortable grimace, and says "Okay then. Instead of being lost together and staying in the struggles, let's find a way out."

Kurt looks down at their hands then smiles.

"Okay."

End A/N: Thoughts? I wanted to slowly build Kurt and Jeff's friendship first. Don't forget to drop a review!