One Shot

Things hadn't been right between them for a while. There was a lack of friendly banter, fewer innuendos, less witty repartee and almost no physical contact. They'd been here before of course, it happened in cycles. Cycles that coincided with Donna being in a relationship.

There existed an unspoken understanding that casual relationships were fine and didn't affect them, but serious ones did. Harvey didn't do serious relationships but Donna did; well, she tried to. She'd been dating David for months now and she found herself in that all too familiar position of being forced to choose between her relationship and Harvey. No contest.

Donna was tired of this; she deserved to be happy.

Harvey had engineered a way to get her to work late again. He almost didn't realise he was doing it. If he didn't give it too much thought; he wasn't really doing anything wrong was he? All he allowed himself to realise was that he didn't like sharing Donna and if she was at work she wasn't with anyone else. After a while, this usually meant that her relationships ended. She never seemed affected by this, always dismissed their demise as no big deal.

Donna knew what he was doing, knew he didn't like sharing her, knew that they would get back to normal as soon as she was single again but what she didn't understand was why he had to act like such an ass hole.

She didn't go looking for relationships; they complicated her life. But every now and then she'd find herself in one, dreading the inevitable change in Harvey's mood and behaviour.

She knew this was a messed up way of leading her life but it was Harvey and she let him do it. She'd admitted to herself years ago that she let him do it because a small part of her, a very small repressed part of her, wanted him to love her, to be in love with her. No man was ever going to match up to Harvey and she knew it.

Later that evening, Harvey looked through the glass wall of his office and saw Donna was having a heated phone conversation. He watched as she hung up and put her head in her hands.

This was it he thought, it's happened again, she's single. A very small part of him felt bad but he mainly felt pleased. But this beautiful woman didn't deserve to get hurt. He watched her get up and leave her cubicle.

As Donna leaned against the counter in the ladies room she realised she'd had enough, she was tired of this. She needed to speak to Harvey. She didn't have a plan of action; didn't know what she was going to say. But something had to be said.

"Harvey, I need to talk to you" she said walking into his office and sitting on his couch. "OK… About what?" he asked cautiously. "About us, about me, about my life, about how you make it impossible for me to have a boyfriend. What are we doing?" she said throwing her hands in the air. "Whoa! That's a lot of questions!" he said laughing a little. "This isn't funny Harvey. This is my life. Only it isn't; because you won't let me have one!" she protested.

Harvey got up and walked over to where she was sitting and sat down next to her. He'd normally be pissed at someone raising their voice at him, but this was Donna and this was so out of character for her that it didn't anger him. "Calm down" he said and then asked "what's happened?" instantly regretting his question as he really didn't want to hear about David.

"It happened again. I had to choose. You or him" she said and then added "I've lost count of how many times I've been made to do that, how many chances at love I've thrown away. I'm tired of having to do it. It's not fair." "You're right, it's not fair. These guys shouldn't make you choose" Harvey said missing the point completely.

Donna rose out of her seat and stared at him with her mouth open and a "are you kidding me?' expression on her face. "What?" Harvey asked defensively, almost shouting. She pointed out the obvious a bit louder than she needed to "it's not them that are being unfair Harvey, it's you. They want to be with me, they want to be happy. You on the other hand… you keep me to yourself so that no one else can have me. You make it impossible for me to have a relationship and that's not fair. I deserve to be happy Harvey."

He stood in front of her and shouted "so when they ask you to choose, them or me, why don't you ever choose them?" Harvey tilted his head and raised his eyebrows waiting for her answer.

Donna pursed her lips in frustration but remained silent. "Well?" Harvey prompted her. "I don't know!" she shouted throwing her arms in the air. "I don't know" she repeated quietly as she slumped back down onto the couch and put her head in her hands. She could feel tears forming in her eyes. She looked up at him "it's never been an option. You win every time" was all she could manage before the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Harvey hated seeing Donna cry, each tear like a stab to his heart. This was his fault, whether he admitted it or not. "What does that mean Donna?" he asked. "I don't know. All I know is that when I imagine my life with a compromised version of us; I don't like it" she said.

Harvey thought about this. He thought about life with Donna clocking in at 8 and out at 6; doing her job and nothing more. He didn't like it either. Worse still, he imagined life with her working somewhere else; that didn't bear thinking about. She looked him in the eye and said "you know you change when I get a boyfriend, our dynamic is affected and you act like an ass hole towards me. Why do you do that?" she asked, more than five years too late she thought to herself. "I don't know" he said. "Bullshit!" she shouted and added "now's the time for truth Harvey. We've been through a lot and we'll get through this but we have to be honest with each other".

"I don't like sharing you" he said quietly staring at the floor and then continued "maybe it's jealousy. I don't know; emotions aren't my thing." "You're behaving like a child" Donna pointed out and then added "I'm not a toy Harvey. I'm a real person with real emotions who just wants to be happy and have a real life. In years to come, when work is over. What will I have to show for my life if things carry on the way they are? Nothing. That's what. I'll be a lonely old lady, albeit one with a fabulous wardrobe, but a lonely old lady all the same".

Harvey hadn't thought about it like that. He'd be in the same boat he realised. A lonely old bachelor. How sad. Donna could tell he was mulling this over so didn't say anything. Harvey spoke first "I'm sorry Donna." "For what?" she said; wanting him to admit to something. He remained silent. "For what Harvey?" she asked again. Harvey just stared at the floor; his mind was swimming with information and thoughts and, for once, emotions.

"Jesus! I'm leaving" Donna declared standing up. "No, don't go" Harvey said grabbing her wrist and pulling her back down to the couch. The look in his eyes shocked Donna; she'd never seen it before. He looked scared, lost and most unlikely of all; vulnerable. "Then talk" she ordered.

Harvey shook his head and rubbed his jaw. He was not finding this easy. "I'm sorry Donna" he said again and continued "You're right. When you get a boyfriend I behave like an asshole. I'm sorry I treat you badly. I'm sorry our dynamic changes. I'm sorry I make you work late. I'm sorry they make you choose. I'm sorry you always pick me. But I'm glad you do… because I don't know what I'd do without you. And I don't mean at work. I mean I don't know what I'd do without you… period."

She listened to everything he was saying but didn't know what to make of it. What exactly was he trying to tell her? "Harvey, I get it, you're sorry. But even if I found a guy who wasn't bothered by you, by us, by what we have, and even if he was fine with me working all the time; I still think you'd be bothered by it and we'd still be in this situation" she said.

Silence. Eventually Harvey spoke "you're right. You being with anyone would bother me." "So you just expect me to not have a life outside of here" Donna said angrily, standing up and motioning to the office before continuing "you don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to either? That's selfish and unfair"

"Donna, you made it very clear years ago that if we were colleagues, that's all we could be. You made the rule Donna and I had to learn to live with it" Harvey said getting to his feet and pointing his finger at her.

His comment threw her. He'd had to learn to live with it? What did he mean? Did he want to be with her? Finally they were getting somewhere she thought; this was scary and uncharted territory for them both. There was a lot at stake but it needed to be out in the open. "What?" Donna asked needing clarification.

"You made the rule and I respected that. I put my feelings aside and got on with things." Harvey said. "But you don't do feelings" Donna said quietly trying to read his face. "No, I don't. But evidently they creep up on me when it comes to you" he admitted not breaking eye contact.

They were standing only a couple of feet apart; Donna looked him in the eye and said "So if I didn't have my rule, how would this conversation be different?" Harvey never broke his intense gaze. He moved forward closing the space between them, simultaneously putting his right hand around the back of her neck and his left hand on her waist and pulled her in for the most passionate kiss either of them had ever had.

This is my first One Shot fanfic so I'd really appreciate any feedback and reviews. Thanks for reading!