It was mid-afternoon by the time Pein decided to pull over and get directions. It wasn't that the ginger believed that he may need directions or anything like that, oh no; the leader simply felt that he ought to buy gas for the van. And, should he happen to casually ask the cashier how to get out of this godforsaken desert, and should the cashier just happen to give him some advice, why, what was the harm in taking it?

"So, you finally decided to stop for directions," Konan noted at the Akatsuki leader pulled up to a dilapidated old gas station. It was exactly the kind of building you'd expect to see in a desolate area like this; two pumps out front, a glass window showing the entire inside of the shop, faded yellow walls stained from years of sand and clay blowing against them, and topped off by a few rusty signs in the front of the parking lot advertising the price of gasoline and diesel fuel. "Tell me, what finally did it; me threatening to dump you on the side of the road, or passing the same cactus for the third time?"

"Konan, I am merely stopping to get gas."

"The tank is ¾ full."

"Your point?"

The blue-haired female quietly shook her head and leaned against the car door. "Just get back soon," she muttered before shutting her eyes and yawning. "You know how the others get when we're stuck in one place for too long."

With a silent nod in the affirmative, Pein hopped out of the car and shut the door quietly behind him. A recent check in the back end had revealed that all of the ukes (and most of the semes, for that matter) were sound asleep, and heaven help whoever was foolish enough to wake a dozing Akatsuki member during their first break since the Otogakure had come to town.

It didn't take but five minutes to fill the tank all the way, and (ignoring a rather smug-looking Konan) the leader walked into the gas station to pay for the fuel.
As expected, the interior of the air-conditioned store was almost completely devoid of human life. The lone person in the gas station besides Pein was a middle-aged man standing behind the register, sporting overalls and a straw hat while attempting to repair what appeared to be an old radio.

Brushing past the racks of chips and coolers filled to the brim with sodas, Pein approached the dust-covered countertop and patiently waited for the man to notice his presence. When several minutes passed and all the cashier had done was swear none-too-quietly at the electronic device, Pein finally cleared his throat. "Excuse me," he began.

The pierced man may as well have lit a firecracker under the guy's foot. Immediately the cashier jumped and stumbled backwards, managing to trip and fall to the floor along with a stockpile of canned spam. "Fucking hell," he gasped. "When'd you get in here?"

"A few minutes ago," Pein replied without batting an eye at the worker's language. He'd heard worse earlier that morning when Hidan had been whining for them to pull over so he get breakfast or sacrifice something, the teen couldn't remember which.

"Oh. Well, welcome, I guess. Anything I can get ya?"

"I need to pay for gas." Pein made a mental note not to mention the cashier's inattentiveness to the others; it would probably result in Kakuzu grumbling for several hours about how they should have just driven off, and since Hidan was already in a foul mood from lack of bagels and mutilation of small mammals, the last thing Pein wanted was a grouchy banker as well.

"All right, which pump are ya at?"

"Erm…the left one?" Hey, there were only two pumps, and neither was numbered, so when in doubt, go with the basic directions. "Oh, and this," the leader added, throwing a map onto the register as an afterthought. "My friends and I have gotten a little lost, and we could use some help getting back on the main road."

Nodding, the man quickly punched a few buttons on the register, and then returned to fixing his radio. "Darn thing quit working on me last night, and I can't get-there!" Without a loud pop and a black puff of smoke, the radio crackled to life.

"Congratulations," Pein stated as the newscaster began rattling of the sports scores from recent games. "Now can I pay and go?"

"Tch, fine." The cashier shook his head and took Pein's cash, before ringing him up. "What is it with you young people and always being in a hurry…"

At this, the Akatsuki leader chuckled. "Let's just say I've got a few passengers that don't like us waiting around anywhere for too long."

"And in other news, authorities still have no leads in the mysterious disappearance of Deidara Iwa-"

Pein's heart skipped a beat, and for the first time in a long while he was grateful to be so pale; else wise, the gas station worker might have seen the color drain from his face.

"It is now believed," the newscaster went on, "That Mr. Iwa was snatched from his dorm room by a well-known troop of ne'er-do-wells from Konoha called the Akatsuki. When police investigated the Akatsuki's dwelling, the house was found to be completely deserted. Suspiciously, earlier that day, two members (whose names have been withheld due to their being minors) were seen purchasing a large van-"

"It's sad, how so many kids get snatched these days," Pein interjected before a description of the van could be read off.

"Sure is," the man agreed. "Well, here's your change. Have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too," the leader replied as he spun around to leave. He needed to get out of here, before it was too late.

"Hey, wait!"
Pein nearly had a heart attack. Slowly turning back around, he gulped and answered. "Yes?"

"Your directions, remember?"

Oh. That was all. Heaving an inner sigh of relief, Pein quickly let the man draw a path on his map to get out of the sandy wasteland. After another brief thank-you, the leader briskly walked out of the store, climbed into the car, and drove off at a leisurely pace. Once the ginger was about half a mile from the station, however, Pein wasted no time and floored the gas pedal, sending most of the members crashing into the back of the truck.

"OW! Kisame, get your foot out of my face!"

"As soon as your boyfriend gets off my lap! For PETA's sake, Deidara, your elbow's in my kidney!"

"That's because Hidan's pinning my legs, un!"

"Shut the hell up, blondie!"

"Hn."

"Care to try speaking in English, Uchiha?"

The weasel (who was currently squished under Tobi and Kakuzu) sighed and spoke. "Why are we fighting when Pein is the one who sent us flying?"

Itachi had a point. Speaking for the entire group, Hidan called out, "Oi, dumbass! What the hell was that for?!"

"We've got a problem," Pein spat out through gritted teeth. "A big problem."