AN: 'Sup. Here's a silly little story for ya. I personally don't know anyone with a birthday today, but I know there's someone out there. So happy birthday to whoever has a birthday today! :D

In a playground, there was a boy swinging on the swings. Let's call him Little Tommy. Little Tommy was giggling, and his dad was watching him. At least, his dad was supposed to be watching him. Mommy had to go buy groceries, so Daddy was looking after him. When he could have been watching the game. Seeing a bar nearby that broadcasted the game live, he couldn't resist the temptation. His dad explained this to Little Tommy, sugar coating his words so much it could have given him diabetes. Being the poor naïve boy that he was, Little Tommy let Daddy go, promising not to tell Mommy.

What a horrible father he was, for he didn't see a certain entity lurking in the woods close to the playground. One by the name of Slenderman. What bad luck! Out of anybody that could have been stalking Little Tommy, it had to be a merciless creature that devoured the souls of little children. Slenderman would have licked his lips in anticipation, if he had any, that is. What a delicious meal this would be. The essence of the lively young spirit figuratively made his mouth water. Just as he was going to consume Little Tommy, karma struck Slenderman. Bad karma.

"Slendy!" squealed his brother with a smile on his face, "I found you! Stop disappearing, goofball!"

Poor Little Tommy was startled and ran all the way to the bar, crying to his dad something about stranger danger. There's goes his meal. Slenderman was frustrated at this point. Couldn't he at least be satisfied and get a little peace? Were the forces of the universe against him? What had he done wrong? A not so happy Slenderman turned to the smiling fool that was his brother.

"Splendor!" yelled Slenderman, "You chased my meal away! I was just about to grasp the little human's body when your pathetic voice startled him! What do you want that is more important than my well-being?"

"Don't tell me," gasped Splendorman dramatically, "That you forgot what day is today!"

"What do you… Oh, that."

"'Oh that,'" imitated Splendorman in Slenderman's grumbling voice, "C'mon Slendy, don't you care at all? It's your birthday!"

"Yippee."

"I made a song for you!" exclaimed Splendorman, "Do you wanna hear it?"

"No."

"I knew you would say that, so I'm gonna sing it anyway!"

"Splendor, don't…"

"Let's go into the woods!" interrupted Splendorman, "It's not gonna take long, okay?"

"Fine. Just get it over with."

The two brothers teleported into a spot in the woods, one that was far away from any innocent human bystanders. Wouldn't want anyone interrupting. Splendorman stepped into a clearing while Slenderman sat down, crossing his arms. Slenderman was ready to get this over with, not wanting to waste too much time. On the other hand, Splendorman was super excited to perform for his beloved brother's special day.

"Ready?"

"Go ahead. Start your stupid song."

Ignoring the statement, Splendorman nodded his head cheerfully. Maybe a little too cheerfully. He cleared his throat, preparing himself.

(Cue the overly happy background music)

"Happy birthday Slendy,

I know you feel like crap.

But please take a moment

To hear my birthday rap."

"It's not even a rap."

"But it's the only word that I could thing of that rhymes with crap," whined Splendorman, "Now, let me finish!"

Slenderman nodded, though listing several words in his mind, such as map, lap, tap, nap, trap, slap, flap…

"You're acting kinda grumpy,

And though you have no mouth,

Turn that frown upside down,

Don't let your mood go south.

If you're feeling hungry,

I got you birthday cakes.

Try to not eat children,

Just stop for goodness sakes!

Blow out all the candles,

And if you feel too old,

I can blow them for you,

Though Trendy would have lol'd!

Have an awesome birthday.

I hope you're at your best!

Wish you had some good years,

Have fun with all the rest!"

"Wonderful," said Slenderman sarcastically, "Now let me go see if there are children in the playground."

Slenderman then teleported away, eager for a decent meal that could satisfy his hunger.

"He'll never learn," sighed Splendorman, "Oh well!"