A/N: First actual FrostIron fic. Go easy on me.

DAY 1:

Tony walked into the Stark Tower living room one July morning, nose red and eyes leaking. He growled and moaned, given that he couldn't wake up and smell the coffee, or the breakfast food, or the smell that emanated from his clothes. He couldn't smell at all, actually. Everyone turned and watched as the engineering genius dragged into the kitchen, groaning and sniffing. He stopped in front of the refrigerator, not even reaching for the handle, feeling everyone's eyes on his back. Tony sighed, staring at his reflection on the cold steel, before saying:

"Don't tell me."

Steve, who sat in the island countertop, raised his eyebrows.

"Are you-?"

"Nah-ah-ah!" Tony said, holding up a finger and coughing into his other hand. "Don't. Tell me."

The room stayed silent, except for the refrigerator hum, and the distant sound of the television.

"Tony…" Natasha started.

"Don't say it!" Tony warned.

"You're…"

"Don't!"

"Tony!"

"If the sentence even passes your lips…"

"Tony, you're sick," Steve finished.

"What did I just - guys, I'm not sick!" Tony sneezed.

Clint scoffed. "You're just saying that so we won't tell him."

Tony then had a coughing fit, which sent the rest of his team sharing glances. Tony groaned and held onto his throat.

"Kill me now."

"I heard coughing. Who's sick?" Bruce asked as he entered the room.

"Tony is, but he won't admit to it," Steve replied.

"Snitch," Tony murmured. "Hey, look. Not sick. Do us all a favor, and get off my back. There's less stress for me and less likelihood of you getting a heart attack in your old age. Win, win." He paused and coughed again, which earned him skeptical looks from his friends.

"Okay, alright, I maybe a tiny bit sick. I'll just drink the vitamin D and be on my way. Make you feel better?" He opened the fridge and pulled out a carton orange juice, and tried walking away. Bruce and Steve blocked him.

"Tony, I'm sorry to say this, but with all the hacking that I heard when I came in here... and with your physical appearance…"

"I don't look that bad!"

"…I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to go back to bed."

Tony, to put it mildly, looked mortified.

"Think of it as a day off or something," Steve offered.

"More like a week off," Bruce added.

"A week!? You can't be serious."

Clint cleared his throat loudly, and flicked his head towards the entrance. There stood Loki, his hair messily combed back with his fingers, currently donned in a pair of pajama pants and a borrowed T-shirt from Tony's closet. He looked at the scene in front of him, and sighed.

"I came to see what the noise was all about," he said, walking to the stove. "Do I even want to know?"

"Whatever they say to you, don't listen to them, they're lying." Tony sneezed.

Loki paused as he poured hot water into a mug. "And what would Steven and Doctor Banner be lying about exactly?"

"He's sick!" Clint called from the couch.

"No I am not!" Tony pushed past Loki. "It's just a little sore throat and a sniffle, nothing serious."

"Actually, it looks as if you have a full-on summer cold," Bruce said.

Tony waved his hands behind Loki's back as Loki asked, "A…cold."

"It's just a small sickness that humans get, nothing lethal for the most part. But, it can physically linger if you don't treat it properly."

Loki's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you recommend?"

"Right now?" Bruce asked. "Bed rest."

Loki turned around to see Tony scratching behind his head and looking intently at the ceiling.

"Anthony."

"Ye-ah?"

Loki just stared. Tony started to object, when Loki raised an eyebrow. Tony cursed then stood up, stretched, and said:

"I think I'll go up to my room."

As Tony walked away, he heard Clint chuckling in the background.

"I am going to kill Barton," he swore.

DAY 2:

Loki had checked on Tony a few times the day before ("You're not my mom," Tony had said when Loki first poked his head in the room). He woke up the next day from an odd dream depicting talking mugs and laughing birds. He groaned as he opened his eyes.

"I'm just here to give you the medicine."

"Bruce?"

"You were coughing in your sleep," Bruce explained as he handed Tony the measured red syrup in his hand.

"What am I, twelve?" He tossed back the liquid and handed back the cup.

"Do you have any idea how this could have happened?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, a few nights ago, when me and Loki had been – "

"Do not finish that sentence," a voice said.

Tony smiled. He knew it. Why would he let him alone with Bruce to tell all his secrets to?

"Should you tell him, or shall I?"

Loki stood next to Bruce. "At the very least, he's still speaking normally."

"That's a relief." Bruce smirked. "Get some rest." With that, he exited the room.

"Were you really going to tell him?" Loki asked as soon as Bruce closed the door.

Tony stretched. "It's not like he already doesn't know."

Loki rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Wait! Think about how I was thinking of you when I didn't finish my sentence."

"Yes, how lucky that I am with a conceded Midgardian who does not seem to have a filter on the subjects he eagerly converses about."

"I have a filter!" Tony said before sneezing three times.

"You sound horrible."

"How about a kiss to make it all better?"

Loki stared blankly. "Are you serious?"

Tony winked.

Loki shook his head as he stood in front of Tony on the bed. Tony closed his eyes. Loki examined Tony's face for a moment, and then smiled deviously as he kissed his own palm and smacked Tony's forehead.

"A kiss worthy enough for a sickly Anthony Stark," Loki laughed.

"Cheater!" Tony said before being attacked by another coughing fit.

DAY 3:

At about three in the morning, Tony's sneezes had become more chronic, and his coughing had left his throat raw and overused. Tissue boxes had been replaced every two hours, and Tony felt exhausted. Bruce came by to drag him back from his workshop, and Tony now stared at the ceiling, thinking of a different way to sneak out of his room. Someone knocked at his door.

"Tony?"

Tony groaned. "Go away, Merida. I don't need your face right now."

Clint entered the room holding a blue mug. "Oh come on, is that how you treat someone who had just made tea for you?"

"I don't need tea. I need a drink."

"Just take it."

"Eh…no thanks."

"Stark!"

"I'm not thirsty."

Clint sighed and placed the cup in Tony's hands anyway. "It'll make you feel better."

Tony groaned as his throat tightened. He sat up, blew his nose, and looked at Clint skeptically. He looked down at the drink, examining the contents. He sniffed.

"Wild berry?"

"Of course!"

Tony hesitated before taking a sip of the warm, dark liquid. Immediately, he spat it back out and made a face in disgust.

"What the hell'd you put in here?"

Clint looked offended. "Geez, was it really that bad?"

"How about this: You don't make any more tea for me. Ever."

"Well why not?"

"WHO SWITCHED THE SALT LABEL WITH THE SUGAR!?" Steve yelled over the speakers.

Tony almost laughed, like he always would when the Cap didn't understand something, until he saw the corner of Clint's mouth quirk upwards. "Oops."

Tony looked from Clint to the mug, and back to Clint again. Clint then proceeded to duck out of Tony's room as a flying mug flew toward his head.

DAY 4:

Tony lay in bed as Loki curled up next to Tony, groaning softly as he shifted over the blanket to get comfortable. Earlier that day, Tony refused to let him anywhere near the bed. Loki had tried sitting, but Tony had stopped him before he got anywhere close.

"There is a perimeter of three feet from the bed in any direction. This is a quarantine zone. There's a chair over there, you can sit in that."

Loki blankly stared at Tony as if he had gone mad. "A chair?"

"It's cushioned!"

"And this quarantine is for…only me?"

"Yes. Hey, don't give me that look! Think about it," he argued as Loki crossed his arms. "When I get healthy, you'll get sick, and that's another week of not being able to be with you."

"Who knew you could be so sentimental in your time of vulnerability."

The last word slid out of Loki's mouth smooth as silk, and had a low hum to it that went straight through Tony's ears and down south – somewhere that his voice shouldn't have been at the moment.

"I'm not vulnerable," Tony said, ignoring his second brain beneath the sheets. "I'm just thinking ahead. When I'm able to do…certain things, then I believe that it would be a waste if you couldn't do those certain things with me."

"Concerning yourself with my health for your own pleasurable gain," Loki said dryly, "how thoughtful of you."

"Yeah, well you started it," Tony murmured.

Loki hummed and sat down on the bed, ignoring Tony's protestations, and leaned into Tony's face with a sly expression. Tony leaned back as Loki's face advanced, and Loki stopped as soon as both of their noses touched.

"And I can easily finish it as well," Loki said, whispering into Tony's mouth.

Now, as Loki slept, and Tony no longer feeling the need to put on a bigger pair of pants, he decided that getting sick had its negatives, but the bonuses were worth it.

DAY 5:

Tony woke up in the early hours of the morning, feeling the other side of the bed lift as Loki got up. Assuming that he had to just use the bathroom, Tony fell back asleep.

Five hours later he woke up again, and for the first time in a week, he could actually smell something. He turned to his nightstand and smirked as he saw the cup of tea, the scent of the herbal water original – this kind of tea Loki only made for him.

And Loki thought he had immunity of any sentiment.

He picked up the mug and almost took a sip, before remembering Clint's prank and lowered the mug. He looked into its contents.

"You probably shouldn't have made me this," Tony said, risking it and taking a sip. Satisfied, he continues, "I'd start to expect it every day. The pampered life, if you will."

Tony watched as Loki slowly turned over and sat up, moaning and stretching his arms over his head. "Expecting the tea every day would be your own fault, as well as the disappointment you would feel when it doesn't appear by your bedside."

Tony made a dramatic face and imitated Loki's accent. "No tea, even if I were sick, day after day, for the rest of my life?"

Loki smiled. "Especially if you were ill. Then, you'd be mine for the taking, whenever I liked."

Tony scowled. "I'm not your toy."

"Now, who's been lying to you?" Loki then got out of bed before Tony could push him away playfully.

"Well, at least you didn't put salt in my tea," Tony said, taking another sip. "That would've spoiled this peaceful morning."

Loki smirked as he pulled his pants on. "Why would I do that?"

"Well, Robin Hood did it to me on Tuesday, the jackass."

Loki sat back on the bed fully clothed and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh…Barton."

Tony's eyes widened as Loki clenched his hand over his calf.

"OW! Loki - Loki, my leg, you're murdering my leg, hey – AH!"

"Oh." Loki snapped his hand away. Tony rubbed the irritated muscle.

"I will return." Loki abruptly stood and nearly ran out of the room.

Tony blinked at the door after Loki closed it, holding his leg.

"What the hell was that?"

(**)

Two minutes later, Loki came back into Tony's room to find Tony tinkering at a small object.

"What is that?"

Tony looked up. "I'm not sure yet. I just needed to get my hands moving."

Loki took the small object and examined it in his hands. "I'm going to assume that this was why you were out of your room yesterday morning."

"By the way, the tranq –gun? In opinion, completely unnecessary."

"Natasha's idea," Loki said simply. "Banner thought dragging you out would be awful for both sides, so she suggested –"

"Bruce was the only person who didn't like the idea of dragging?"

Loki just shrugged. Tony rolled his eyes and decided to change the subject. "So where'd you go?"

"Hmm?"

"Oh don't play dumb," Tony said as Loki revealed a smile that he failed to suppress. "Aha! See? There it is."

"Whatever do you mean?" Loki asked.

"The smile – you just told on yourself."

"But you wouldn't have known that if I did not tell you."

Tony blinked. "I would have found out eventually."

"No, you wouldn't have. If I do not want you to know of something, you, Anthony Stark, would not even carry a suspicion, even if it slipped right under your nose. It's quite amusing, your ignorance."

"Hey!" Tony said. "No insulting my genius in the bedroom, and I won't insult your insanity."

Loki felt his hand ball into a fist. He inhaled deeply, and slowly unwound his fist on his thigh.

"Fair enough."

Tony nodded, and they both sat in a comfortable silence as Tony kept tinkering.

DAY 6:

Steve came in that morning, having gotten back from a mission in California. Tony's eyes widened at Steve's outlook.

"Okay, but how does the other guy look?" Tony said as the super-soldier sat down.

"It was a little ironic; Cold War trying to take over California." He sat back. "I can't remember if it was ever that hot in Brooklyn."

"Global warming."

"What?"

"Nothing."

They then heard a knock at the door, and Tony immediately pointed at Clint as he entered the room.

"Nope," Tony said, "get out!"

"Oh, come on, Stark, it was only a joke!"

"I'm with Tony on this one," Steve said.

"It was a joke," Clint emphasized.

"What do I have to speak to get you out of here, Russian? NEIN! Get out!"

"THAT'S GERMAN!" Clint called as Steve herded him to the door.

"Aw, what's the matter, Stark?" Clint said as he stepped out of the room. "You salty?"

Steve closed the door before Tony could reply by throwing something – anything, really.

"Someone needs to get him back," Steve said as he sat back down.

"Already working on it," Tony mumbled as another knock pounded the door. "Didn't we just tell you to go away!?"

No answer. Tony opened his mouth to speak again, when:

"I am going to perceive that previous statement as a joke."

Tony ran to the door and opened it. "No, not you, I thought…" he looked out into the hallway, "maybe that Bird-feathers came back."

Loki sighed and entered the room.

"We were just talking about how to get him back," Steve said. He raised an eyebrow. "Have something in mind?"

Loki smiled, a devious smile that said, 'I may or may not, you'll just have to wait and see.'

DAY 7:

Tony relished in the feeling of health, a lingering sniffle the only evidence of his late cold.

"You know," Tony said, sitting on the couch with Loki and absently staring at the television, "usually colds last longer than just a week."

"Oh do they," Loki replied.

"They do, and I recovered quickly, ever since you gave me that drink."

"Tea, Anthony," Loki stated. He then sat up. "You what are you implying?"

"Oh, nothing," Tony said, looking into his 'water' – Bruce didn't want Tony drinking anything but water and tea for the next few days, but what he doesn't know… - "Just wondering if a certain Asgardian elixir or something could have helped me out…"

"Oh." Loki stared back at the TV.

"…You didn't do anything to my tea?"

"Nope."

"Oh," Tony said. "Huh. Oh, SHIT! What time is it?"

Loki looked up. "Eleven…I think. Why?"

Tony smiled, a smug look plastered on his face.

"Tony…"

"Shh!" Tony held up a finger. "Wait for it."

Loki muted the TV, and sat in the silence.

"Tony."

"Shhh! JARVIS, turn on the intercom, code: Bombi."

"Done, sir."

They waited. Steve and Bruce came into the room, laughing.

"Hey! What-"

"SHHH!"

Steve and Bruce froze. "Uh…"

"Shh!" Tony put a finger up and jumped over the back of the couch.

Natasha entered the room.

"SHHHH!"

Natasha stopped. "I didn't…"

"SHHHHH!" They all waited.

Thor came in, smiling and about to yell a hello. Loki immediately jumped off the couch and clapped a hand over Thor's mouth. Thor's eyes widened in shock, then he frowned, irritation flashing in his eyes. Loki, un-phased, removed his hand and put a finger to his lips. The entire group didn't move, and waited for Tony, who looked eagerly at his watch. Finally, he held up his hand.

"And...five, four, three, two, one!"

"SHIT!" a voice over the intercom yelled, before an explosion sounded and cut off the com connection.

Everyone blinked in shock, before Steve spoke up.

"Was that…?"

"Yep!" Tony said, a smile stretching his face.

Natasha smirked. "You didn't!"

"I did."

Banner just smiled and shook his head. "He's going to be pissed when he comes down here."

"I know!"

"I don't understand," Thor said. "Was not that…?"

"It was, Thor," Natasha said. "And just – sit down for a moment. You'll understand in – "

"WHO PUT A TOILET BOMB IN MY BATHROOM!?"

Everyone turned and busted out laughing. Clint had come through the door, face soaking wet, and anger steaming off his head.

"I can literally see steam coming off your head," Banner said.

"Wait, what is…?" Natasha covered her mouth and turned to hide her smile. "Oh wow."

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Steve asked.

Tony, Loki, and Natasha laughed as Thor, who needed time on the uptake, finally understood what happened. He took a mirror off the wall and held it up for Clint to see. Clint looked into it, and yelped as his hair turned into dark blond feathers.

"Okay, I'll admit," Tony said through laughs, "the toilet bomb is me. But I swear on my mother's grave that I didn't do that."

"Wait!" Loki almost yelled. "There is more."

"WHAA?" Clint squawked, leaving everyone to gaze in wonder as Clint squawked every other word.

"It'll wear off…eventually," Loki said.

Tony stood on his toes and threw an arm around Loki. "You didn't tell me you had something planned!"

"I have already told you – you will not know what I am doing unless I tell you myself."

"Well, yeah, but…uh, is he turning into a chicken?"

"No, it is a bird from our world." Loki then blinked. "A what?"

"Guys…" Bruce said.

"You could have let me in on this, though!"

"I didn't feel like it."

"Uh…guys…" Steve said.

"But I could have made something better?"

"I highly doubt that."

"GUYS."

Loki and Tony turned. "What?"

Natasha pointed. They both turned to see a very pissed off species of bird staring straight at them.

"Oh…right."

The bird growled.

"Should a bird really be that big?" Tony asked.

"I was wondering why your birds were so small," Loki replied. They turned their heads to look at each other.

"Early lunch?"

"Love to."

Tony flung an arm around Loki, and Loki did the same. They both disappeared with two shit-eating smirks as an abnormally large bird charged for their heads.

A/N: Thank you for reading, please leave a review, and I'll send you internet love...see? Like that.