I was inspired to write this after reading Makokam's "Precocious Crush" but after finishing the whole story it's hardly anything like his story, as I had envisioned in my head originally. There's some implied similarities between characters and writing style, but that's as close as it gets.

This story follows the movie universe and not the comic universe and is set right after the end of the sequel. Hope you guys enjoy!


I had a lot of time to think about that last moment I shared with Dave. An entire two-day trip on the back of my purple Ducati, to be exact. And during the countless gas stops, bathroom breaks, and the night spent in a shitty motel on the side of the highway, I kept running the memory over and over again in my mind like a CD skipping over the same part of the song repeatedly.

Me leaning over, him standing still, our lips meeting, softly caressing, me pulling away, him leaning in after me, me telling him to be nice or I'd rip his ass out through his mouth…It was a good first kiss. At least I think it was, it's not like I have any other kiss to compare it to or any friends to talk to about it.

But that's probably going to change now, due to that two-day road trip. I was headed to Cooper Texas, the little town whose water tower actually says "Howdy Y'all" on it. Of course after seeing said water tower, I was tempted to face the NYPD rather than live in a town that uses two southern colloquialisms in its greeting. But I fought the urge to make a 180 and pushed onward.

I found a secluded area off the road into town and parked my bike, covering it up with its tarp before heading into town, since I didn't want anyone to spot it and make the connection between me and Hit Girl. After all, the whole point of me being in this god-forsaken town was to avoid suspicion and lay low, and a custom purple Ducati with 'HitNRun' plates isn't exactly the epitome of stealth.

This left me with a duffel bag to lug into town on foot. So I just hiked it up on my shoulder and walked on. I had a chance to see the town as I made my way through, and my short tour didn't make me feel much better. Evidentially the "Howdy Y'all" was a warning to potential visitors to be prepared for cowboy boots, Stetsons, and every single person you pass by, to smile and say hello to you. Which in New York City all of those things are pretty much unheard of.

I was starting to feel a bit paranoid but then I was close enough to my destination to shrug it off. 1367 Brookview Trail: the suburban home of Marcus' cousin, Will Travis, and my new home away from home. Both Marcus and I knew I couldn't stay in New York with the Police on my ass, but thankfully Marcus had worked out an agreement, literally months before all the shit hit the fan with the Toxic Mega Cunts, with a cousin of his he was close with but didn't have his last name so it would be harder to trace a connection between us.

Of course no one in the Travis family knew I was Hit Girl, Marcus and I knew it would be best to keep that between us. As far as the Travis family knew, Marcus was worried about the recent crime with Chris "Fucking" D'Amico and wanted me out of the city for a safer slower life in a small town. And I like that story just fine. The way daddy taught me, Dave and Marcus knowing my alter ego was two people too many.

So I'm sitting here in my new bedroom, my few possessions already put away, scanning through a sniper rifle's manual, completely stuffed from dinner. Obviously I'm going to have to work my ass off to stay in shape while living here, cause I'm pretty sure Jennie (Will's wife) thinks she's related to Paula Deen. Although it was so good, I doubt I'll be complaining.

I couldn't stand to leave home without taking some basic weapons with me, it just seemed wrong, so I've hidden several guns as well as ammo, knives, and a couple grenades around my room. I'd lucked out having an attic access space in the top of my closet and stuffed most of it up there, but the box spring of a bed is an equally sneaky place to hide things, especially when people aren't used to it like the Travis' and unlike Marcus who had found my ninja star collection almost immediately after I'd moved in with him.

I wanted so badly to bring my wig and costume, but I knew I couldn't risk the temptation of being Hit Girl here in Cooper Texas, so I didn't bother bringing them. It was a sad parting just the same.

I can't stand to look at diagrams of this rifle anymore, in fact I should probably just get rid of the manual, considering I didn't bring that gun here with me. But most importantly because I have to leave Hit Girl behind. I knew I couldn't bring her here with me, I can't risk blowing my cover, and not just for my sake, but for Marcus and now his family too. But it's not going to be easy.

I had such a hard time not being her with Marcus, someone I actually knew and cared about, let alone some loose relatives of his. But this isn't Dallas, the population here is under 5,000. Surely the worst crime in a town that greets visitors with "Howdy Y'all" is going to be public intoxication and maybe some "indecent exposure" by the teens after a football game.

If the cops here can't handle that, maybe Hit Girl should resurface just to give some lessons.

I just need to stop thinking about it. But Hit Girl is pretty much the only memories I have. Not to mention the only real friend I've ever had was Dave and I can't stop thinking about him, which may be due to the fact that he's a good friend and we've had some pretty damn awesome memories together or because of that kiss I can't stop thinking about.

I sighed and lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. God I'm not looking forward to school.

I have three months left of school. Then I'll graduate. And then what? Before Kick Ass I'd always assumed that college was the next step. Now? I have no idea what I'm going to do. Today is the first day that I've spent back in my own home since dad…

Well, since Chris D'Amico made the worst mistake of his life, anyway.

But now I have a house all to myself. Weirdly this house has been in my family for a long time, so I actually inherited a house that's already paid for, so it's great I still have a roof over my head, but I've still got to pay bills. I never really knew how much just living in a house cost, till now. I took it for granted when dad yelled at me for taking such long showers when the "moment" struck me. I took a lot of things about my dad for granted.

But I remember feeling that way after mom died too, and I got through that, so I know what to expect this time and I'll make it through this. Thank god Marty got into NYU, so he'll stick around for moral support. Todd on the other hand got a scholarship to some school way over in Michigan, so our days are numbered. But we do have one whole summer together, plus the last three months of school, to make the most of it.

It's kind of weird ending school and having my friends go their separate ways. I know a lot of my classmates, Marty and Todd included, feel like they're really growing up for the first time, like they're real adults now. But I passed that a few years back. If I had to pin point it, I'd say it was the night Hit Girl saved my life and unfortunately lost her dad's.

Honestly I can't believe Mindy's actually gone, I keep thinking I'm going to run into her some night and she'll surprise me spewing explicative's in the way only she can do. But I know Mindy's smart, and the NYPD are not happy with her, so the best thing for her to do is to lay low.

Shit, even I have to lay low. I thank god for the time Mindy spent coaching me, cause I've had to start being way more stealthy since what happened at the warehouse. Thankfully Mindy left me her safe house, that way I won't have any evidence at home of my crime fighting alter ego this time.

I still go out though. I mean, if I didn't, everything that's happened, including losing my dad, has been for nothing. Just last night I was "fishing" and the two guys I started fighting had about three, or maybe it was four, buddies show up towards the end and that was just too much for me all by myself. I was almost relieved when the sounds of the police sirens started blaring and I could see the flashing lights approaching. But my relief immediately turned to fear when I remembered that we were no longer on the same team. Especially since what happened to my dad happened on their watch.

I suppose I kind of understand Mindy's personal vendetta against the D'Amicos now. Not that I'm going to start some crazed scheme to kill cops or anything. I know it was really Chris' fault. But at least I don't have to worry about him anymore.

Of course thinking about that just brings up the image of Chris being torn apart in that bloody shark tank, and that's not something I like hanging around either. But I do feel kind of proud. I doubt anything Mindy ever does will ever be as bad ass as dismemberment by a shark, try as she may, and I know she will.

The memories of my parents are like ghosts imbedded in this home though. Just sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast made those horrible crushing feelings of remorse and guilt come crawling up my spine.

It's that god damn bee on the cereal box. I stared at it for a while remembering past conversations and I had to squelch those feelings the quickest way I knew how.

"Mother fucking, smug ass, Bee!" I screamed, grabbing the box in both hands and crushing it with my fingers before throwing across the room smacking it against the refrigerator, only to follow and beat the shit out of it.

So now I'm picking up fifty thousand pellets of cereal off the kitchen floor and throwing away a mutilated cereal box, muttering to myself. Which is good progress.

I don't know if I believe in the seven stages of grief or anything, but anger is usually a good sign, at least I'm feeling something other than insurmountable sadness. But of course this doesn't mean I wont feel that again. Which is kind of the reason I don't really believe in the seven stages of grief.

Said model makes it appear as though once you reach the next stage, the last stage is over, and in my experience it works more like a hamster wheel that spins around so fast on all different levels like sadness, anger, bargaining and so on until you just realize that no matter what your feeling, that person isn't coming back and you will never have another moment with them.

At least right now my hamster is too lazy to really get that wheel going.


*This chapter has been edited after story completion*