Rei glanced around for any sign of his best friend, so that they could walk home together, but there was no sign of him.  Where could he possibly be?  Maybe he should go to the art room, and see what's keeping his brother?  Trudging up the flights of stairs, he headed for that dark little art room that his brother complained about so often.  He hadn't been there in a long time, and he didn't really want to take the time to visit right now.

Entering the scene, he could see almost instantly that Sei was no longer there.  His easel was set up and his paints were left out, uncovered and drying out.  It was very unlike him to be so untidy with his art supplies; not only were they expensive, but that was also very wasteful and his brother was a little bit of an environmentalist.

Rei stepped over to the canvas that his brother was working on.  His eyes came upon a wonderful sketch of a woman all too familiar to him, but her face was defiled by an enormous black splotch.  It was a beautiful picture, and may still be able to be saved, if it were done carefully.  Even he could see that; but where was the artist?

"Does anyone know where Sei Kashino is?" he questioned with a somewhat concerned stance.

"Nope," answered a girl from behind her sculpture.  "I saw him kinda look at his canvas for a long time then paint really messily on it.  Then he left with a completely blank expression, like the soul had been sucked out of him or something.  I think he went that way," pointed the girl.

"Thanks a lot!" Rei bowed as he ran from the room.  The girl blushed as he blew her a kiss through the window next to the door, still running.

Figuring out where Sei went wasn't too hard of an ordeal to this well informed young man.  He remembered talking to his brother at a sleepover party they'd had for their tenth birthday.  As they were falling asleep, they talked about what chics they thought were hot, what they wished for most in the world, and the place that they'd always wanted to go to.  Some kids had said Los Angeles, others said Australia, but Sei had told them he'd wanted to go to the roof.  He was scared of high places, and only went on the roof during drills.  It amazed Rei that his brother was so cowardly, but he wanted to go.

A few days after the party, Rei brought that up, and Sei had said that he was only kidding, and he really didn't want to go on the roof.  But the twin's intuition told him that Sei was only scared.  Rei made Sei go to the roof anyway, holding his hand as they stepped out onto the breezy height.  Soon, Sei was laughing and running around with his arms wide open, taking in the view.  Rei was given many thanks for this wonderful sight, and soon, it turned into Sei's favorite place to be.

He yanked open the door to the roof, and saw Sei standing on the edge, poised to jump.

"Sei!" he yelled to his brother.  "We have to go home now!"  He walked over, and in a gentler voice added, "Please, come home with me.  I don't know why you're so angry, but please, just take my hand and come back!" he reached out.

After taking one sad, glance back at his brother, Sei stepped off the cold roof, leaving his scarf floating behind him.  Rei stared in disbelief and shock for what seemed like a lifetime.  Then he ran down to the spot where his twin had landed.

There, in front of his and many others' eyes, was the face of his dead brother.  He stood there and stared at his brother, not quite comprehending what was going on.  It was all going by so fast.  First, he was enjoying his last day of junior high before his high school life began.  Next thing he knew, his brother was mentally screwed and suicidal.  How did it come to this?  Was his life really that bad until now, that he had to jump to escape from it all?  Wide-eyed, Rei stared at his twin, harder than before.  There were secrets held within this mind, and he just had to get them out.  He came to his senses as soon as the paramedics arrived.

"Paramedics, coming through," a woman dressed in white yelled.  "Spectators, clear the scene!" She looked at Rei, who was still standing by his brother, even after her urgent warning.  "Please move aside!" she yelled at him.  "We're seeing if we can save your brother," she added, in a slightly less harsh voice.

Rei took a few steps back, which seemed to be enough for the woman, because she got off of his case.  He watched as paramedics checked for signs of life in his neck.  "He can still make it!" he heard someone shout.  Before he knew it, Rei was finally letting out a deep sigh that he'd been holding in for who knows how long.  But all the pent up energy finally had gotten to his head, because before you can say sleeping, he was passed out on the concrete.

* * *

Waking up to white walls and the smell of disinfectant could only mean one obvious thing to Rei; he was in a hospital.  He sat in a green leather chair by a bed filled by his twin.  Seeing that he wasn't on a breathalyzer, Rei let out a sigh of relief.  He checked his brother for any serious damage, but he didn't find any besides some swelling.  Knowing this, he collapsed back into the chair, without even realizing that he had been standing up.

Staring all around, he began to take in his surroundings.  It was a typical hospital room, a double without anyone currently on the other side of the curtain (which was forest green).   There was a table to go over Sei when he wanted to eat, and a bedside table which held a very tempting remote for the television hanging in the corner.  Standing in the doorway was a very hot nurse, looking over her clipboard with an expression not to be tampered with.  He shouldn't be picking up girls while his brother was in the hospital.  In actuality, he was just too young for her.

Rei got back to the matter at hand; his brother's welfare.  Was he hurt very badly?  What pushed him over the edge?  How did this happen?  He asked the nurse these various questions and she answered, "First, he has a concussion, but that will get better over some time.  He won't be able to play sports anymore, because it would be very serious if he got hurt again.  Second, we've talked to your father about enrolling both of you in counseling.  It could help you vent, and maybe keep Sei healthy.  Third, he obviously jumped off a building.  We're not quite sure just how he landed so as not to hurt himself worse than he was.  I suppose that it was just pure luck!"

"Thanks for your help," he said, bowing to the nurse as she checked temperature and blood pressure of the patient.  "How long do you think it will be until he'll be released?"

The nurse thought about this for a while, and then responded, "I'd guess he'll be out some time in the next few weeks; definitely by the time school starts again for you two.  High school, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah," Rei nodded with a smile.  As she walked away, he bowed again, "Thank you!"

He took a short nap, and woke up to a noise in the room.  Looking around, he found out that it was just Sei retching into a pail next to his bed.  Rei stood up and patted his twin on the back, making him notice his presence.  He was done throwing up soon, and Rei called the nurse to come clean out the bucket.  The thing about nurses is that you couldn't possibly hate them.  They do a wonderful job of keeping the doctors moving straight and helping the patients with everything, no matter how disgusting.  Sei had an undying respect for nurses, and thanked her when she came in.

"Oh, it's fine!" she replied with a bright smile.  "It's my job!"  She cleaned the pail and put it next to his bedside again, just in case.  Then, she left the room again.

Sei looked down at his hands, which were fiddling with the edge of the sheet.  His expression was an odd mixture of stern and grim, not really knowing what emotion to feel.  What could he say to this person who drove him to try to kill himself?  He should have been dead by now, but instead, was given this opportunity to make things right, and he knew that Rei would try to do so.  He would try to talk him out of this "nonsense" or something like that, then give him a big hug and tell him that it was okay, because he was the weaker of the two.

Instead of what Sei thought, Rei yelled, "What the hell were you thinking?  Scaring everyone like that, jumping off of buildings, why would you do something like that?  Did you think that it would only affect you?  Did you think that no one would care?" Rei asked, breaking into sobs.  "Well guess what Sei, you were wrong.  You ruined my last day of school, and almost my life.  What would I have done if you died, huh?  Where would that leave me?"

Silently, Sei reached out his arms, and wrapped them around Rei's neck.  "I'm sorry," he said, crying, too.

They sat like that for awhile, just holding each other in a tight embrace.  To some, it may have been odd, to see two brothers so close to one another.  But, looking deeper, they would see that it was not just brotherly love, but a connection between best friends.

They heard a clatter and turned to see an embarrassed Kyoko pushing a pot of flowers onto the bedside table.  "Sorry!" she apologized.  "I don't mean to disturb you, but your dad told me to bring this to you," she said, gesturing the flowers.  "He said to give you this card, too."  She added, handing him a store-bought sympathy card, not even signed.

Sei looked at the card for about half a second before tossing it into the trash.  No one had to ask why, and they all looked around with ashamed faces.

"He's at work," Kyoko said, breaking the deafening silence.  "He just couldn't get away to come see you right now.  He promised to drop by later, maybe." In a rush she added, "But, he does send his love and greetings!"  She blushed when she saw the blank faces of the twins.  "Um, I hope you get better soon, Sei.  I've got to get back to my job now, so I'll see you guys later, okay?"  she said with a little wave as she left the room.

Rei nodded at her and watched her leave with a sort of dread.  With Kyoko there, he didn't have to think about what Sei did, just about his father and the same hate that Rei had always felt toward him.  Now that she left, though, he had to puzzle over what he would say to Sei.  What can you say to someone who tried to kill himself?

            "Um," Sei began, jerking Rei away from his thoughts.  "Can I have a glass of water?  My mouth tastes really foul."

            "Sure!" he replied, happy to have something useful to do, rather than just standing there looking awkward.  But then, of course Sei would have done that for him.  After all, he knew exactly what Rei was thinking.  But this one time, Rei had no idea what his twin was thinking.  Why would he do such a thing?

            Rei brought Sei his water, and he chugged it down in a just a couple of seconds.  He wiped his top lip with the edge of his hand, like you always see little boys do, and Rei felt compassion toward his brother.  Whatever had driven Sei to do something like kill himself, it probably was something big.  Sei didn't do something unless he had a very good reason, so he probably had one this time, too.  But what?

            "Thanks," Sei told him with a half-hearted smile.  Rei knew, though, that he was just humoring him, that something deeper was going on inside his twin's mind.

            "Sei," began Rei, shakily.  "Why did you do it?"

            Sei took a deep breath.  Even though he tried to be angry at Rei, he just had to give in.  Rei genuinely had no idea why he would try to kill himself, so he would just have to enlighten him.  "There's only one Rei," he finally says.

            Rei looked puzzled.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

            "I mean, that this is exactly like something that I would do.  It's practically expected of me.  I'm the weak one, Rei!  I can't do anything if I don't have my twin by my side, you know, the strong one who does everything right?  Even Dad's pushing you to go on in school because 'Rei's got so much potential!'  Everyone says that.  What about me, huh?  What about Sei?"  He paused to take a breath.  Rei just stared at his brother, waiting for him to continue.  He wasn't finished yet.

            "I always wished that I could be the one in the spotlight, instead of having to settle for a sideshow.  I wanted to be you, Rei!  To be strong, smart, athletic, and outgoing; but instead, I'm just me, the one without any friends and parents unheard of.  How can anyone live like that?  It's been torture growing up without a mom, because Dad's always gone with work and stuff, but I've always had you.  Now you're talking about quitting school to race motorcycles, one of the worst choices I've heard of!"

            Only Rei knew that the motorcycle thing was a joke, so he just kept quiet.  To interrupt now would be like sticking your hand in shark's mouth.  It was probably better not to.  That was okay, though, because Sei had more to say.

            "I don't want you to leave me.  Then I won't have any friends or family at all!  I could live with Dad, and never see my caretaker except for the occasional 'family dinner.'  You know, when Dad brings fast food at eleven o'clock and expects us to be overjoyed at this wonderful treat?  Well, I don't want to live like that, if it's not with you, Rei!  I could go back to Los Angeles with Aunt and Uncle, but I'd rather not burden them with my presence.  They had more in common with you, anyway."  Sei was practically bawling now, just pouring his heart out to Rei, who sat dumbfounded in the green chair.

            "Remember that promise we made, Rei?  That we'd always be together?  What ever happened to that, huh?  Did that mean nothing to you?  Was I the only person there at the time, the only person who cared?"

            Finally, Rei responded, "No," and pulled his sobbing brother into a big hug.  "I remember the promise, too.  And today, I thought that you were so weak that you were backing out of it.  Did you think about me?  Where would that promise be if you were gone?"  Rei pushed his brother away slightly, and looked into his teary eyes.

            "I never thought of it like that," Sei admitted, going back to the comfort of Rei's shoulder.

            "Then stop your complaining," suggested Rei.  "I'm not really dropping out of school to race motorcycles.  I wouldn't break our promise like that."

            After a minute, Rei broke the hug apart with the explanation, "Don't rely on me too much!  Or else you'll never be able to get a girlfriend," he winked.

            Sei let out a little laugh, and curled back under the covers.  "Thanks, Rei," he said with a smile through his tears.  "I feel better now."

            The nurse walked in the room a few minutes later to find Sei asleep in his bed.  Rei was sitting in the green chair again.  He was asleep, too, holding his twin's hand.

* * *

That evening, Rei was doing his homework in his dad's apartment.  Sei was still the hospital (Kyoko had volunteered to stay with him) and his dad wasn't home from work yet.  Music was pouring out of Rei's headphones and he was concentrating hard on his algebra.  In fact, he was focusing so much that he didn't hear the door open as his dad walked in the room.

            "Rei," he called, a little bit irritated at the lack of acknowledgment.  "Rei!" he called louder, before walking up to his son and kicking his butt.

            "What'd you do that for?" he exploded.

            "I said that I was home; be polite and at least say 'welcome back' or something!"

            "Dad, why didn't you visit Sei," he retorted.  "You couldn't take time off just to go see him when he's in the hospital?"

            "Well," his dad began in a stern voice.  "The school called me at work and said that Sei was being hospitalized because he tried to commit suicide from the top of a building.  I asked them if he would be okay, and they said that he would live.  So, instead of spending my time interrupting his recovery, I enrolled both of you in counseling!"

            "You're sending me to a shrink?" Rei yelled.  "How could you do such a thing to your kid?  If you were just there for Sei, this would never have happened.  Instead, you just let someone else deal with us as soon as times got tough.  Remember when Mom died, and you sent us to L.A. for seven years?  You're doing the same thing now!  You're just letting someone else deal with us!  What kind of a father are you?"

            "I'm just doing what I think is best, son," his father replied, with narrowed eyes.

            "Well," Rei started yelling, "YOU'RE WRONG!"

            He ran from his father all the way to his room, where he slammed the door.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Wow!  That was pretty long!  Yay Sushi!  Don't worry, that wasn't the end, there will be more after this.  I just ended this chapter there.  I don't feel that way about psychologists; my brother is in psychology!  I just thought that was the way Rei would feel.  About the "useless" part at the beginning where Sei is cleaning out his locker; I read somewhere that a common sign of a suicide attempt was cleaning up.  So that's why that is.  As I was writing this, I read an online blurb about a future volume that tells about why Sei really tried to kill himself (I don't know why he really did).  So this story is probably REALLY alternate universe!  Did you like it anyway, though?  Don't you think that there should be a separate category for MARS?  I DOOOOO!!!!  Go MARS!!!  Review, and look forward to my next chapter!