Pffffttttt... I don't really like this story, but I still wrote it in the hope that someone else would like it. If you do, PLEASE REVIEW. Actually, review even if you don't like it. BTW I do not own Once Upon A Time...

Enjoy~

Chapter 2: All the Shades of Moe

Moe French stared over at the man glaring at him from the other side of the table. His gaze slowly shifted to his daughter clinging on to the arm of this man, and it returned back to the scowl. He mentally debated on who was more intimidating, Rumpelstiltskin or Mr. Gold. No green, sparkly skin, pro. Cane that he could use to beat people to a pulp, con. No magic, pro. A very long, scary cane, con. No creepy leather outfits, major pro. A very long, scary cane that has been used to beat Moe to a pulp, major con. All the while as Moe mulled over which version of the Dark One was scariest, Belle kept on talking on and on and on about how Rumpelstiltskin wasn't a monster and the power of true love. At the mention of Belle's affection for the monster, Moe snapped out of his reflections.

"Belle, you can't be serious. Look at him, he's a beast." Moe gestured a hand toward Mr. Gold scornfully, but he drew it back when Mr. Gold let out an ominous snarl. He still arched his eyebrows at this with a look that said 'see what I mean?!'

Belle tightened her grip on Rumple's arm and said, "You don't see the goodness in him that I see, Papa." At this her father scoffed and replied, "There is no goodness in that man. Besides," he added with a thinly-veiled shudder, "he's as old as I am!"

Rumpelstiltskin, tired of remaining quiet, decided that instead of helping the situation he would see how much he could mess with his true love's father. "Oh, but I'm not as old as you think. Hmmm… seeing as how it will be October in four days," he pretended to count with his fingers, "I'll have been, oh, about three hundred eighty-six years old." He smirked and waited for the words to process in Moe's head.

The man across the table sputtered and turned a ghastly shade of red as he stared at Belle and Gold. Rumpelstiltskin, of course, would not end there, and Belle immediately thought of Mr. Gold's warning about meeting in public. She sheepishly glanced around and noted the number of heads that turned toward their table at the sound of her papa's stammering. Belle gently tugged at Rumple's arm and silently begged him to leave with her, but the men were too far gone in the conversation. This would not end well…

Finally, Moe regained his speech. "Belle, open your eyes! Don't you see that this man is taking advantage of you?"

Rumple retorted "I've never done anything she hadn't wanted," and suggestively waggled his eyebrows. Oh, this conversation just got interesting…

Again Moe gagged, and he turned an unsightly shade of green. More heads turned, and some people began whispering.

"Belle! You do not want to be with this man! Trust me on this. Remember it was I who loved you and kissed you at night," Moe said, bringing back old memories of him tucking his daughter into bed when she was little.

"Actually, I've done both. Only, with different intentions in mind." Moe turned an ugly purple shade. By now, the entire diner was staring on and Leroy started conducting a gambling ring where people placed bets on which color Moe would change to next. Belle was completely paralyzed and red with embarrassment. She would have already run out of the diner, but she had made the foolish decision of sitting in the inside of the booth.

The conversation suddenly became competitive as each man tried to prove his love for Belle was stronger than the other's.

"I bought her everything she wanted and clothed her in the finest materials!"

"I buy her everything she's ever dreamed about and unclothe her from her finest materials!" Moe turned blue and some of the people in Leroy's betting ring cheered and other grumbled.

"I-I fathered her, loved her!"

"I made love to her!" He turned an unnatural shade of orange, which only Emma seemed to think was possible. Granny would have thrown the two arguing men out and ended the betting if she hadn't gambled that his next color would be magenta.

"I know all her likes and dislikes!"

"Oh, I'm sure you aren't aware what I know she that likes." Granny smiled smugly and collected her winnings. Leroy handed over control of the bets to Ruby as he noticed Astrid walk by, and he got up to follow her.

"She'd share all her secrets with me!"

"I know about her secret birthmark!" Judging by the crimson color Mow turned, the people in the diner began to imagine where such a birthmark would be. Some of the men smirked.

Moe started to hyperventilate, so Gold decided to finish this. "Don't worry Mr. French. I care for her very much, just like I'll care for our ten children." Moe clutched his heart at the thought of ten mini Rumpelstiltskins running around. Those would be his grandchildren. Everyone leaned closer in anticipation.

At the sight of her father almost having a heart attack, Belle finally unfroze. "ENOUGH!" She pushed Mr. Gold out of the booth and started dragging him out of the diner. Everyone turned away and tried acting nonchalantly as Ruby covered the money pile with a menu. "Rumple, we are leaving. Goodbye, Papa." She pulled Rumple by his arm, but he still managed to call back to Moe as he walked through the door, "See you at Thanksgiving, Daddy."

The meaning of Mr. Gold's words finally registered in Moe's head, nd he turned a sickly ash-gray. He muttered in shock, "Mr. Gold is my son-in-law…" and fainted. The diner suddenly burst into laughter, and Regina walked out with a large sum of money.

Hope you liked it, cuz I really didn't... Please review no matter what you think of the story... yeahhh... Bye...