Hello friends and haters, I am back! Yeah, it's been a long time, but I was busy having p-chem and orgo hand my ass to me. ^_^UU So now I'm finally back to writing, and I first wanted to put down this Ugly Americans story! This is my first story for this series (or for something not anime or comics GASP!) but seeing as how the series has ended, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect ending, I wanted to do this introspective piece about Callie's thoughts right before the last episode. So now my puppy-muse Scribble will do this disclaimer and we will begin!

Scribble: We are completely poor and we own nothing! NOTHING, GOT IT? Good! ^_^

Musical Inspiration: Spring (Leah West) and Summer Sunshine (The Corrs)

Thanks to What2callmyself? For her beta-ing stories for series she's never even seen- what dedication! ^_^

Fools In Love (Sometimes Pick Stupid Days)

Callie couldn't help but be a little peeved when Grimes called her up late the night before April to tell her his insanely elaborate prank they would be pulling on Mark the next day.

She knew deep down, it was partly her fault. She had agreed to this date for dinner with Mark, knowing full well what would entail. And of all days he had to pick, he had to pick April 1st? If she hadn't known better she would've thought it was a joke, probably. So really it was both their faults as much as it was Grimes's.

When she had been a much younger succubus, and would watch Disney movies with her mother, the girl always found the most perfect man, fell in love, and they would have a wonderful happy ever after life together. The little girl she had been had always loved that fairy tale ending. She wanted nothing more than to find that happily ever after in her own life one day, with her own prince charming.

Of course, as she got older, she began to see how impossible this would be for her. While most human boys thought she was smokin' hot, they could only take so much of her strength, insane sexual appetite, her creepy half morphing, and don't even get started on her Painful Mortal Shedding (stupid PMS!) before they would be too scared to get anywhere near her anymore. She noticed that she could never keep a boyfriend for more than a few months. And while she really liked some of them (even the older ones, due to her daddy-issues) they all went away.

So Callie learned the fairy tale ending was just not the way life worked. She put away the dream and decided to focus on her job for the time being instead.

Not to say she didn't have lovers. Seeing as humans were too afraid of her, she turned to demons instead. Being the daughter of Aldermac Maggotbone, the most powerful demon in all of Hell, there were scores of demons that were lining up to be with her. And while it was enjoyable, it seemed something was missing. Demons were often rough (not that she minded that part), often left her place looking like it was raped by a tornado, and would often call up in the middle of the night to come over, not caring about how she needed to sleep for work the next day (and don't even get started on Twayne, who never even had a chance in the first place, no matter HOW much daddy wanted it). So it got to be a little annoying, but that's just life, right? And for a while, that's just how it went.

Then along came Mark.

Mark, fresh out of college, who loved to help people, hated intolerance, was actually pretty cute, wanted to make a difference, still adjusting to the weirdness of New York City (and don't forget his unhealthy obsession with eggs), who came bright eyed and bushy-tailed into the DOI, caught Callie's eye immediately. She had, in the past, other boy toys at the office, and they usually left within a few months giving no real reason for their leaving the job. It wasn't the best system, but that was just how it worked. Callie expected him to be gone within the next few months too.

And yet, Mark surprised everyone, but most of all, her.

Mark stayed.

Despite all that happened, he never left. He saw some of the worst NYC had to offer, and even the worst she had to offer. He put up with and got through her PMS. He had gotten beaten on by Twayne, almost killed by Leonard, was in danger of his zombie roommate eating him, had all sorts of spells go wrong (Callie felt really bad about the one that tragically ended up with his sleeping with Grimes- I mean, she and Grimes were friends, but the thought of that…with him…EWWWW!). He had dealt with her family, especially her father, zombies, wizards, clones, all those insane people in his group sessions, and all the outside ones that he had helped in some way or another. Any other person probably would've gone insane from all the things Mark had been through.

But Mark never gave up. He never stopped trying to give it his best. His quick learning and even faster wits got him out of tons of situations and Callie, while often annoyed at his long-winded explanations, could see how he always thought things through and made them go smoothly. And Mark stayed. And most importantly of all, he stayed with her.

He was sometimes scared of her demon side, but accepted it as well. Even though the beginning was constant on and off, the two would always be back together. Because Mark cared enough to want to work on their problems, he never gave up on her. He didn't mind that she liked to tie up and torture him. And yes, he wasn't as rough as the demons she had been with, but she found she really didn't mind all that much. Because with all those demon lovers, there were never light caresses on her face, never gently fingers stroking her hair, or kisses on the forehead. She knew, now, these were the things that seemed to be missing. And Mark would do all those things, even without being asked. And her human side had been craving these tiny signs of affection that only humans seemed to be able to give.

She could not remember being this happy with anyone else. She had given up on the fairy tale ending a long time ago, but he had given her something to hope for. She still didn't quite believe in happily ever after, but who was to say it didn't exist at all? If it was possible for others, then maybe, wasn't there a chance that maybe a fairy tale ending existed, and was an option, for her too?

She really didn't know, but she really wanted to see. And if she didn't try with Mark, her own prince charming, she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life (and, as a half demon, that would be a really, really, REALLY long time).

And so when she picked up hints as to what Mark was doing, she started her own planning. After all, she WAS Callie Maggotbone. She was a strong, independent person; her own woman. She was not going to just let him ask her! That was not the way she did things! She was going to beat him to the punch!

So when Grimes called to tell her about the "prank to end all pranks" he was cooking up (which would end up as only the 2nd best prank, because despite being dangerous, Mark pulled the number one prank on her only moments later) she was annoyed, but knew there would be no changing his mind- it WAS his favorite holiday, after all.

Well, there would still be the time afterwards. So after she hung up with a huff, she took a look again at the gift she had gotten him. It was, for Mark, the most perfect gift of all. And she had gone through Hell to get it.

No, really. She LITERALLY went to Hell. Harry Connick Jr. happened to be touring in Hell at the time, and she had no trouble getting a backstage pass (remember that thing about her father being the most powerful demon?) and then getting him to autograph a photo of himself. While she would never understand Mark's taste in music, she knew he would love it, and that was what really mattered.

And as she stretched and got ready to get into bed, she looked over at the clock, and saw it was midnight. April 1st- April Fool's Day. And she looked out the window, and giggled, feeling giddy. She was so excited! She could hardly wait!

She would ask Mark to get engaged to be engaged to her tonight!

"My heart is small- it only has room for you." –Callie Maggotbone

Scribble: What's with the quote at the end?

Me: That's the note the series ended on, and while I will miss this show, and I am completely happy with this ending. So, there's my first Ugly Americans story! What do you guys think? Flames telling me it sucks without telling me how to improve are worthless and will be laughed at. Constructive criticism is helpful and appreciated. And good reviews are loved! Thanks for taking the time to read this, and bigger thanks to those moving their mouses to that box- you know who you are! Long Live the DOI!

-titangirl161