Author's note: If it wasnt clear from the summary, this is almost pure crack-smut... theres plot I swear. This idea came to me from looking at pics of the "god, goddess, marry me" scene... to me Armin looks horrified, like he's just realised how similar they are and he's thinking "I'm gonna get raped tonight." since rape isnt funny, i turned it into a private game between Armin and Krista.

its mostly a BoysLove fic, but full pairings are KristaxReinerxJean ArminxReinerxJean ArminxKrista to varying degrees, with a smidge of ArminxAnnie. If thats not your thing you can still hit return.

I usually write darker fics, this is my first crack fic, I hope you like it,

All constructive feedback welcome

-SBB


While the other two boys stood stunned by Krista's beaming light, Armin's mind raced. He needed to have a plan ready to implement within the next few minutes – early intervention was crucial in these cases.

He'd learned the hard way– the very hard way - that Krista's blinding beauty was a weapon often used for evil. Armin cringed remembering his first experience of its after-effects; he'd ached all over for days and the other trainee had withdrawn from the corps in shame. He privately referred to that incident as his Last Great Mistake. In the 3 years since he'd never made another one quite like it, and he was certainly not going to start now, especially not when Jean and Reiner were involved - the stakes were too great!

By the time Krista's initial attack had ceased, Armin was in motion. He leapt onto his horse and slouched down in the saddle. He pulled the hood of his cloak up around his face to obscure his hair, before beginning to loosen the bandage around his head. As the blood trickled down his forehead he noticed Reiner and Jean regaining their senses and beginning to mount up, both offering to let Krista share their saddle. Just a few more seconds and he would have the blood flowing freely enough to mask his features – what Armin wouldn't give for a great open wound across his face!

"I think it'll be easier if I ride behind Armin – we're both so small after all."

Even though he'd been expecting them, Krista's words still sent shudders down Armin's spine. They'd all be looking at him now, he knew. He just hoped there was enough blood on his face to distract the two larger boys...

Holding his breath, he turned to face his three classmates, releasing it in relief when he saw pure jealousy and rage in Jean and Reiner's eyes. He'd acted in time, and his two friends hadn't noticed his resemblance to the little goddess.

He smiled down at Krista, his face covered in blood and triumph, "Not a problem Krista, climb on up."

Krista shot him a sour look as she climbed up behind him–he'd obviously won this time, though it wasn't always so clear at the start – the Annie Incident hadn't been definitively resolved for days - but thankfully the two other boys were not particularly skilled at hiding their thoughts and emotions.

As the four recruits rode on to reconnect with the corps, Armin focused on watching for titans and pushed the incident to the back of his mind. Unfortunately for him, Krista had no intention of letting things stand at 2-0, and quietly resolved that if they all made it back alive she'd resume their game.


That night after the corps had retreated behind the walls, most of the cadets sat drinking at a tavern near the barracks, celebrating their survival and toasting their dead. Sitting with Reiner and Jean, Krista schemed, flirted, and ensured the two boys were solidly drunk, before mentioning which room she was bunking in that night, and that it was such a shame that she had to sleep in that big room all alone now that Annie had joined the Military Police. Krista beamed at the two boys as she watched them memorising her room number. With a final smile, she excused herself, explaining that she was so very tired she was going to go right to bed, in that big lonely room, that she wasn't sharing with anyone right now... Now that she thought about it, she'd probably be too tired to change her clothes and would have to sleep naked - she'd probably be too tired to even lock her door, so anyone could just walk right in and have their wicked way with her ...seriously, anyone.

Certain that the cadets had taken her meaning, she left ahead of them, laughing as she hurried to the equipment room where she quickly strapped herself into her 3D gear. Armin's room was on the third floor, and she did not want to miss the show that would occur when Reiner and Jean finally arrived at "her" room.


Armin sighed as he floated in his bath. He'd had to wash his hair twice to get all of the blood and gore from his hair, but the long, hot, soak made him feel clean and new. It was also making him feel a little dizzy, so he slowly climbed out of the tub, taking care not to fall with his heat weakened muscles.

Grabbing a towel, he walked out of the bathroom, and found himself suddenly engulfed in a large pair of arms, his face pressed firmly into a large, broad chest. His face trapped, he couldn't see who was holding him, but he instantly knew who to blame – this had Krista all over it!

He struggled to free himself as the large man holding him began nuzzling his neck and collarbone, but quickly realised to his horror that his earlier bath had left him weak as a kitten. The man began leaving little licks and kisses up Armin's exposed neck, while his hands ran all over Armin's back, touching his shoulders, hips and buttocks.

Trembling slightly, Armin looked away from the man towards his window where he saw exactly what he was expecting to see; Krista peeking in the window, laughing silently. The rules of their private game were simple: seduce, redirect, watch. Loser treats the winner. After so many people had commented on the similarities between them, they had begun experimenting, and had quickly found that once aroused, most people didn't care which of them they were devouring – some didn't even notice that Armin became Krista, or vice versa.

As much as he could, Armin glared at her. He hated to lose - that he enjoyed himself while losing was completely irrelevant, he thought as he moaned as the man's fingers traced his hip bones. And if the way Krista was biting her lower lip was any indication, she was enjoying the show. Armin smirked, but his smile quickly faded as Krista held up both her hands, two fingers raised on her left, a fist made with her right... 2-0... and it was at that moment that Armin realised that the hands he felt touching his body numbered four, not two, the first man gripping his shoulders, and a second man touching him lower down. Jean and Reiner...Together... Armin knew he was going to hurt tomorrow.

The man at his back – Jean he thought – pressed up against him, and Armin felt a distinct hardness at his lower back. Armin pressed back, grinding into him lightly and Jean moaned into Armin's hair. From that angle, Armin could look up at the man to his front – it was Reiner – who moved away from Armin's neck and moved to kiss his mouth. Reiner's kisses were hungry, quick things, that left Armin chasing more and he reached up to grab Reiner's head and pulled him down into a longer kiss. Reiner quickly obliged, opening his mouth to allow Armin's tongue entry.

Using his free hand, Armin reached behind himself to pull Jean closer. Continuing to grind into the other boy, Jean moved his hands around to Armin's front, and found himself grasping a hardening cock. Thinking for a moment he had taken Reiner by mistake, he slipped his hands lower and between Armin's thighs only to make Armin cry out against Reiner's lips as Jean stroked his balls.

"Ahhh, oh oh, d-do that again, Jean," Armin moaned. At the sound of his voice, both his classmates froze in recognition and looked down at him, realizing for the first time that he wasn't Krista.

Unsure what to do, Jean did what he had spent the last three years doing; he followed orders, and stroked Armin's balls again. The slim blonde boy moaned and leaned back into Jean, who just about passed out from pleasure as Armin leaned against his erection.

As Armin leant back, Reiner found himself looking down his body. Although he wasn't as muscular as most of the other soldiers, Reiner still noticed Armin had a smooth chest and well defined hips, the results of their years of training. And lower... Quickly looking back at Armin's face, Reiner's cock suddenly twitched as he saw Armin's face flush as he moaned.

Looking across to Jean, Reiner saw the same emotions he was feeling – a very surprised sort of arousal, combined with determination. For a moment they locked eyes, and silently nodded, before returning their attention back to the naked boy between them.


Later that night, Krista cried out as she came, her thighs gripping Armin's head as he continued licking and sucking at her folds. As her pleasure subsided, she loosened her grip on him, and relaxed back on her mattress. The sight of three men moaning and stroking one another had gotten her so aroused, that when Armin arrived to pay the penalty, she had nearly knocked him over in her rush to sit on his face.

Licking his lips, Armin stood up. "That was a mean trick," he said leaning over her, "Reiner is huge, and I have horse drills tomorrow."

Laughing Krista pulled him onto the bed for a kiss. "It's your own fault for dodging them on the ride today," she said licking her lips, "mmm, who am I tasting?"

"Yourself and Jean." With one last kiss, Armin rolled off the bed and headed to the door. "Don't think I won't get you back for this," he said as a goodbye. Krista waved lazily from the bed, already half asleep.

Closing the door behind himself, Armin stepped into the hallway, and nearly crashed into Annie.

"Annie! What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I – I was going to go to sleep, this is my room," she replied, not quite meeting his eyes.

"I thought you were joining the military police?"

"Yes, but I don't leave until tomorrow."

"... and you bunk with Krista?" Armin asked, an idea forming.

"Yes."

Annie was still avoiding looking at Armin, so he grabbed both her hands and stepped into her eye line. Making his eyes as wide as he could, he smiled at her, taking careful note of the slight blush on her cheeks. "I hope you know Annie, we're all going to miss you... I'm really going to miss you. But even so, I hope you'll be very happy, truly I do." With a final squeeze of her hands, he let them go, "oh, and Krista is still awake, so no need to be quiet when you go in."

As he walked towards the stairs, he heard the door shut, and a few moments later a squeal came from the girls' room. Sprinting outside, he ran around to their bedroom window. Looking in, he saw Krista being devoured by Annie. When Krista looked to the window, he held up his hands:

2-1.