Hi all! I decided to write this spur of the moment! It's obviously not that long but I figured I made everyone wait long enough for my sequel to Never Doubt This. So without further ado and my deepest regrets for the wait….read on my lovelies. (Also not sure what the title of this story should be...so I'm gonna call it NDT Sequel until something sticks! :) )

Chapter 1- Regrets are Memories Past

I was so confused. My eyes were blurred with tears, clouding my vision to such an extent that I had to reach up and wipe at them with the palms of my filthy hands. I would probably never look into a mirror again. Such a frightening contrast it would be to the girl I'd been 5 months past.
So much dirt had accumulated on my body…I honestly wasn't terribly certain when I'd last had a proper bath.

But what does it matter?

The sound of those defeated words echoing in my head had never ceased to make my emotions soar into such a raging fury that I had no choice but to go on. Today, however, I could feel the delicate beat of my heart thrumming against my breastbone slow and my heart sink further into a dark abyss of desperation.

I blinked against the dirt I'd rubbed into my wet eyes and took a shaky breath.

I was alone.

The forest that surrounded me was as unfamiliar as my husband's touch now. So far I had traveled from the realm of everything I'd ever known. I had come alone. I had chosen to come alone. Some days I questioned if this was even part of Narnia. Once upon a time I would have sworn that I'd known every single rock and tree and river in this great land…

Everything was different now.

Caspian had been in a deep sleep, so like death, for 5 months counting this day.

I missed him. So much time we had spent arguing, fighting and trying to stop the other from doing something stupid that we had neglected that those times together were precious moments.

"You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." I whispered, sobs long absent from my parted lips.

What use was this? My heart questioned the path I was on. I hadn't seen people for weeks…even the animals had ceased to speak to me. The ground didn't rise up in my favor; it offered no respite from my relentless journey.
I leaned down to lay my dirty hand flat against the ground, wanting to feel its life reverberate through my body once again.

I could hardly decipher what that might feel like anymore, my own body felt so lifeless at times. But this was different. The deadness in the ground was more than another winter coming. Something had changed in the land.

I shivered as a different kind of life sank into my bones, a life that made me stand up stiffly and stare up at the sky; partially hidden by trees, and gasp harshly.

With a thousand thoughts shooting through my head I slipped into an easy run, my weariness of body dissipating with each step as I fought to find clear land, to break out of this forest completely. I had to see the sky and figure out how far I'd come.

I wasn't sure how far I ran when I stumbled and went toppling forward into the mercilessly hard ground and rolled for a few feet before stopping. Angry thoughts flashed through my mind, the feel of pain pounding through every part of my body an all too familiar feeling.

I crawled forward a few feet only to be met with crumbling dirt and the edge of a ledge dropping steeply down to a river. The height made my vision swirl and I drew back into myself, pulling knees to my chest and rested my head against my knees bitterly.

I'm sorry Aslan.

If I had not fallen I would have gone straight over the edge.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I muttered into my knees, wondering how many times I had to say it to change this fate I was certainly doomed to. I didn't even feel the disappointment I'd felt before when I received no answer to my apology.

I missed Aslan. It wasn't that I thought he'd abandoned me. I knew that could never happen. But for some unexplainable reason I could not feel his presence anymore and that bothered me deep into the depths of my soul. 5 months had passed. How much longer did Caspian even have? What did this journey even mean anymore? Where was I going?

For every question I still had no explanation. I hadn't had an answer for a long time.

Gingerly I scooted back to the edge of the ledge and it didn't take me too long to carefully make my way down to the river's edge. The water was cold and delightfully sweet to my parched lips and so I dunked my head into the water for a moment, letting the rush pull my hair out of the tangled knot it had become.

I ignored all of the questions I had and only let one escape my mouth.

"Where do I go from here?"

Home.

A desperate part of my soul longed to go back to Calormen to see Thomas and James again, to see Caspian's face. All the people I loved were there and I was here.

Wherever here is.

But going home meant one thing I wasn't sure I could face. Defeat. If I went back now I would be defeated. It would signify I was giving up the search to save Caspian.

No matter the circumstances I knew I would never do that. I would never give up. But the longing in my heart was persistent. It warred with my logical mind, demanding that I go back. I hadn't been home for months and months. Such an eternity that seemed now.

I ignored the path my feet was taking my body and wandered aimlessly along the river's edge for a long time. My mind was blank for once and somewhere in my fog I wondered if it was fatigue finally setting in.

It wasn't that though….no, not at all. It was growing dark out my mind registered and the moon came up soon after. Its soft light seemed to envelope my body and spirit as a light mist hung in the air around me making me feel as if I were in a dream. It was growing increasingly dark I couldn't help but notice, but somehow I didn't care. I just kept walking.

Walking…darker.

Something cool brushed my face and the darkness sank in around me so completely and effortlessly that I could almost imagine I was in Caspian's arms again. A warmth pulled at my senses that mocked me, it laughed at my daze but pulled me further into the dreamlike stupor without question. For a moment I saw Caspian…but not just Caspian. Caspian was beside something, holding onto it…or him.

I remember blinking at the vision but it never seemed quite clear enough to interpret. Yet, I knew who it was. I knew I did. My mind searched in its haze for the answer I already knew. But the darkness was growing even blacker in my eyes and it finally gave one last fatal pull just as a name formed on my tongue…

"Aslan."

The dark had never been so welcoming.

Well. Here we are once again. Y'all know how this works. Review; tell me what I did wrong/right and what you loved. Also…do you think Lucy is on the verge of giving up completely despite her resolve? Do you think she'll turn away from Aslan? What has become of Caspian during this time? Will Lucy ever make it home again and save the man she loves? *dramatic music* ;) Thanks for reading.