He would never get used to it.
The gargantuan superstructures that once laid waste to the planet were now hovering above its surface, serving as watchful protectors. It had been almost ten years since the war ended, but every time Javik looked at a Reaper he felt the urge to kill.
Ever since the commander ran through the beam, the Reapers had stopped fighting. Instead of destroying all organic life, they started healing the galaxy; suturing the wounds they themselves had caused. Nobody knew how or why, but everybody was grateful. Javik, however, was not. He was the Avatar of vengeance, and this peace was his failure.
Nobody had seen the carnage he had seen. This cycle had barely had a taste of war. Javik was sculpted by war and he was a soldier by design. The asari, the humans, the turians and krogan… The chisel had barely scratched their marble. The Reapers were not to be trusted. Never. They were hatching a scheme, Javik knew. They would never co-exist with organics, not without a game plan. But when, during the immediate aftermath of the Reaper war, Javik advocated the destruction of the Reapers while they appeared friendly, he had been accused of war mongering and treason to the galactic community. When he then accused the Council of being indoctrinated, they threatened to imprison him, or worse. If not for his… friends… he would not have backed down. That was also one of the reasons the Council withdrew their offer to make him a Spectre. Not that he cared. He would just be their puppet, and he would let nobody control or command him.
As he watched a Reaper glide through the air from his penthouse on Thessia, he balled his fist so tightly he feared his finger bones might crack. Gritting his teeth, he fought the urge to let his memories get the better of him. Nobody could ever understand what it was like to be the last of your kind. Many had lost loved ones, but as a race, they had survived. Even the batarian community was healing with the help of salarian bio-engineering and cloning… and Reaper technology.
"Please, Javik, save my son!" a woman cried as the Prothean husks approached. "Take him with you!" She tried pushing him in her arms but he shoved her out of the way and ordered his men to hold the line.
"Get out of here, woman," he snarled as he turned back to her. "And take your kid with you. Pray to the stars they do not take you alive. If we do not make it, put a bullet in your son's head and follow him into the great void!" Tears ran out of all four of her eyes.
He banged the window in frustration as he watched the Reaper disappear beyond the horizon. His anger flared up, he felt the blood surge through his veins in white-hot fury. The Reapers were a blight upon the galaxy and had to be destroyed, friendly or not! Why could nobody see that?
He flinched for a split second when slender blue arms wrapped themselves around his torso, before realizing it wasn't a threat. He felt her bare breasts being pressed against his back as she placed her chin on his shoulder.
"You have to let it go," Liara whispered in his ear.
"You do not understand, Liara," Javik replied. She was as ignorant as she was beautiful. He loved her courage, her strength, her potential; but in spite of all that, she remained a primitive.
"I have seen your memories as you have seen mine, Javik. We have melded, embraced eternity together. I understand."
She didn't. But he didn't expect her to.
Liara planted a soft kiss at the base of his neck and let go of him. As she did so, he felt cold, his skin missing the touch. But it missed battle armor even more. This casual clothing made him weak, vulnerable. But in times of peace, people frowned upon heavily armed and armored soldiers walking the streets.
"I have work to do," Liara announced as she put on a pair of tights. "The universe keeps on spinning. The people need the Shadow Broker."
Javik turned around, facing away from the window. He took in the sight of his beautiful, blue wife. Even halfway through her pregnancy she was stunning. The most gorgeous primitive of all, both inside and out. He walked over to her, and traced the outline of the bump in her belly before placing his palm on it. He could already feel his child. Its mind was becoming aware of its surroundings. It was well and truly alive. His daughter. His son.
"Do what you have to," Javik told her. He kissed his fingertip and planted it on Liara's stomach first, and her lips second. "I'm going out."
"When will you be back?" She asked it with hints of curiosity and worry; he did not blame her. It wouldn't be the first time he'd disappear for a few days.
"I will be home in time for… supper." He tried to hold back the disdain in his voice. 'Supper'. The penultimate proof of having routine in your life. He was a soldier, born in chaos, bred in war. This routine was an insult to everything he stood for, but it made Liara happy. And even Javik realized he would have to make concessions if this was going to work out.
As he moved towards the exit he glanced at his old Particle Rifle hanging on the wall next to Liara's scoped Phalanx. He wanted to grab it, sling it over his back and attach it to the magnetic holders on his armor. He missed its reassuring weight and the sense of security it gave him.
His ways were over, he realized as he took the long elevator ride down. War was no longer the answer. The way of the fist was not tolerated. The Reapers were now watchful guardians, punishing slavers, crime rings and corruption wherever they went. The galactic community was being bullied into a toxic false peace based on a lie.
"But peace nonetheless," Liara would say. He understood most of the primitives preferred the current situation to annihilation; he would do anything to get back his Prothean brothers-in-arms and resurrect the old Empire. This was a price everybody seemed willing to pay, and even though he thought they were wrong, he did not blame them. Even if they devil had bought their souls (or how did that human expression go again?)
When the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened, Javik stepped into Athame Boulevard, the foremost shopping lane of the Kendra region. The city was known for its elegant architecture and had been almost completely rebuilt thanks to a massive effort from the Reapers. Life had resumed, corporations had set up shop and politics had tightened their hold on the metropolis that occupied the shores of the Kendra Ocean. It was as if the war had never happened. Asari children ran through the streets, playing a game of tag while their mothers were window shopping. Flashing advertisements trying to lure customers and food stalls attempting to shove their wares down people's throats. Javik wanted to spit on the ground to get the bad taste out of his mouth.
At least the hustle and bustle took his mind off his worries. People still stopped and stared whenever he walked past, but he had gotten used to it. He walked past countless shops, but he was more interested in the people than any wares. Masses of blue primitives were swarming the streets, with the odd alien thrown in. A turian here, a human there, a batarian collecting credits for a 'Save Khar'Shan' charity… His gaze rested on a male raloi holding a small asari child in its clutches. The avian primitives had been reintroduced after their craven withdrawal from the galactic community when the Reaper War started. Now they were back, and apparently they didn't take long to spread their cowardly genes among the asari. His first thought when he saw a raloi was to spit in its face and clip its wings, but now it made him think of the child that was growing inside Liara's womb. The fruit of his loins, and the last descendant of the Protheans.
He had had his doubts about creating offspring with primitives. But even if there would never be another Prothean, at least their spirit would live on inside his child. It was a better alternative than the lizard people had suggested. They wanted to clone him, turn his DNA into a watered down version of true Protheanity. It was an insult that went against the course of nature. He would never allow a machine to create a child of his. It would be no better than a Collector.
"Get out of here, woman," he snarled as he turned back to her. "And take your kid with you. Pray to the stars they do not take you alive. If we do not make it, put a bullet in your son's head and follow him into the great void!" Tears ran out of all four of her eyes.
The images came flashing back again. He needed a distraction; something, anything to keep his mind occupied. Surely this cesspit of entertainment would have something to offer?
He walked past an asari who was offering smoked and salted prod, a fish from the Kendra Ocean. She claimed it was free for him, a kind gesture to thank him for his efforts in the wars he fought for galactic freedom, but Javik shook his head sideways in dismissal. He didn't want anything in return for his efforts. He merely did his duty. Besides, the prod just reminded him of how delicious a piece of raw, skewered hanar was. His favorite food now had an embassy on the Citadel and was starring in action movies. Times were strange indeed.
The sky darkened from one moment to the next, casting a shadow over Athame Boulevard despite the cloudless sky. People looked up, but the fear that had once accompanied the sight of a Reaper now seemed to give them comfort. Everybody knew that the heroic actions of the human commander Shepard had reprogrammed the Reapers. At least, that's what they thought. Javik didn't believe it for one second. It made no sense. Why would the Commander have to pay for such a thing with his life? Why was his body never recovered? They made him disappear, so they could recover in peace. The united galaxy was too much for them to handle and they were just biding their time. Javik wanted to scream it out, wanted to tell people to grab their guns and start shooting, but he knew it would be futile.
The Reaper hovered right above them, immobile as its mass effect drives kept it from tumbling down. Javik couldn't stand the sight. He felt as if it was looking right at him and he walked into the first store he saw to escape its gaze.
The shop keeper greeted him with a friendly smile as Javik saw hard copies of dozens of different video games lined against the walls. He grumbled. 'Games'. The most primitive form of amusement. How fitting to see their popularity at hand. Asari young and old bouncing around the aisles looking for amusement rather than doing something productive like reading or pursuing academic interests. Another reason he loved Liara: she didn't like to waste time and she was always looking to better herself, her mind and her body. The only reason to play a game was if you were drunk, and even that should be avoided whenever necessary. He hadn't played and fooled around, or drunk a drop of alcohol, since the party the commander hosted in his Citadel apartment before the battle on Earth. That night was a good memory, Liara and he had been intimate for the first time for example, but mostly it filled him with shame. Still, 9 months later the Ashley and Vega humans welcomed their first child, and he thought back fondly of his long talk with the Wrex and Grunt krogan about the best ways of eviscerating an enemy.
"Can I help you with something, sir?" an asari maiden asked when she saw Javik looking around, his head snapping left to right. Obviously she hadn't noticed the look of disapproval on Javik's face, because she continued to address him as if he was a potential customer. "Would you like to try out a demo of the newest game? It's from a brand new batarian studio, all proceeds will go directly to rebuilding Khar'Shan."
Let the planet burn and the batarians whither and die. They weren't strong enough to fend off the Reapers and any living batarian is a mockery of a once respectable race who bowed to no one.
"It's in virtual reality," the asari continued, as if that primitive form of communication could impress a Prothean. Javik sighed, the eyes on the left side of his face watching the street outside. He had no intention to walk in the Reaper's shade again, but he couldn't just stand here and do nothing. People might think he was afraid.
"Where can I try this… game?" Javik spat. The asari motioned for him to come over. She retrieved 4 virtual reality lenses and 2 gloves and fit them on. Luckily Prothean hands looked very much like those of the quarian.
"Can I just say, sir," she said as she started tapping on some buttons to get the game started, "what an honor it is to meet you?"
"You may not," was his blunt answer. The look of admiration vanished from her face and she cast her eyes down. "How long will this take, asari?" His monotonous tone dripping with impatience, the asari's movements quickened.
"Just… just a few seconds, sir."
A soft beep followed the press of a button and the glasses on Javik's head lit up on the inside. The environment changed into a war zone, bullets whizzing past his head. It was a weak imitation of the real thing, offering none of the excitement and exhilaration. The rubble in the street was placed in places that were far too random, and the blood running from the dead bodies did not match the pattern their wounds would suggest.
"So how does this work?" he said out loud, not sure if the asari in the real world could understand him, but there was no response from anyone.
It wasn't hard to figure out, though. Javik moved forward, easily ducking the bullets that came his way. He picked up an M-76 Revenant assault rifle from the ground and got into cover. The offense came from four adversaries holed up in a trench some ways away. They were too far to shoot at; the weapon's inaccuracy would make sure anything he hit would be a mere byproduct of chance. Javik didn't believe in such a thing as luck.
He looked for cover further down the concrete jungle and saw a conveniently placed steel container that would provide just that. He waited for a pause in enemy fire before sprinting towards it.
He slammed his back against the metal, making sure not to get hit. The enemy hadn't fired a single shot since his rush and Javik wondered if they were simply waiting for him to pop out his head so they could snipe him down.
He tried to use his biotics to push the container further down the street, but they didn't react. When he tried to use his muscles, the container didn't budge either.
What is this nonsense?
Feeling trapped, Javik knew he didn't have much choice but to take a risk. He took a quick look around the corner, but nothing happened. He looked again, but the street looked deserted. When he took a closer look, he saw a single man amongst the foundations of a burned down building. Javik took the Revenant and sprayed bullets all over the silhouette, but the man seemed unaffected.
This 'game' is buggier than a nest of Prothean sucklings.
The figure started walking his way. Javik took aim again, his eyes registering the face of whom he believed to be his digital enemy.
That can't be!
Javik lowered the gun, mouthing the name.
Commander?
"Hold it, Javik," Shepard said, his characteristic smug grin etched on his face. "I need to talk to you!"
"How do you know my name? What is this kind of game? How dare they make a mockery of your memory, using your image in a game like this!" Javik was seething with rage and started shouting at the sky. "Get me out of here, asari! I refuse to be a part of this disgraceful display!"
"She can't hear you, Javik. Nobody can, for now. Nothing's wrong, don't worry. I just need to talk."
"You're not real; hold your tongue!"
"I found you on Eden Prime, Javik! Liara, James and myself recovered you from your stasis pod!" the image of Shepard began, trying to convince Javik he was real. "50,000 years you spent in there, but you came back to fight the Reapers. We witnessed the destruction of Thessia, where you showed Liara how your people had uplifted the asari."
How does the machine know that? Only Liara and I know of this!
He had agreed to stay silent about the true origins of the asari goddess Athame, as it would cause more trouble than it was worth.
"We are on Thessia right now as well, where you live with Liara, the Shadow Broker, in your penthouse."
This is impossible. It can not know this. No machine could know th…
Javik's train of thought was stopped as he realized how utterly wrong he was. There was a race of sentient machines that would know about such things. The ones he had fought for decades.
"Reaper!" Javik hissed, taking aim again.
"Yes, I am," Shepard began, "but let me explain!"
"Get out of my head!" he shouted, pulling the trigger to spray bullets at the commander's image.
"I control the Reapers now, Javik. But it's me, Shepard! The trail blazer! Come on!" Shepard spred his arms out. The bullets went straight through him and Javik threw away the rifle.
"You will not get me, Reaper! You will not claim my brain! You will not turn the last of the Protheans into a willing slave! I will not be indoctrinated!"
"Javik, if you would just listen to me…!" But it was all to no avail.
Javik started flailing his arms and bashed his head against the steel container, shouting at the stars above. "Get me out! Get me out of here!"
The world in front of him faded to black, and when he blinked he was back in the video game store. He stripped the VR lenses from his eyes and turned, seeing a worried asari saleswoman standing over him.
"Sir, are you all right? Your vitals peaked and…" Javik did not let her finish. Flaring up his biotics, he pushed her out of the way. His heart racing, he stormed outside under the astonished, indignant looks from the other customers.
As soon as he breathed the outside air, he realized he was standing in the Reaper's shadow. He looked up at the AI ship when a sense of dread numbed his senses.
It's looking at me. It's coming for me. I have to get out of here.
But where? The galaxy was filled with them. Maybe Liara knew what to do.
He stumbled, but stayed on his feet as he tried to get back to his apartment as quickly as possible. The Reaper stirred, chasing Javik home as he ran.
Panting, Javik stormed through the door. He grasped his head between his hands, trying to get the image out of his head.
"It… will not take me!" he whispered. "It will not!"
"The woman fell behind when they were forced to retreat. Collectors engulfed her and her child while she screamed and begged for mercy. She was a disgrace to the Protheans, behaving this way; but even she did not deserve the fate the Collectors had in store for her. Cursing, Javik took a sniper rifle from one of his fellow soldiers. Mercy was exactly what he was going to give her."
His chest heaving with exhaustion, Javik fell to his knees. "It will not take me…"
He got back to his feet and opened the door to Liara's office. His wife looked up from her computer, her smile fading like a snowflake on a hot plate when she saw his worried, frightened look.
"Javik?" she asked, her voice trembling with anticipation. "What's wrong? You seem…"
"No time to explain, Liara," Javik interrupted. "We have to go."
"What are you talking about? Go where?" Liara disconnected her computer, giving her husband her full attention. She got up from her seat and walked over to him.
"Anywhere. It… it doesn't matter. We just have to go! Somewhere they can't find us!"
"Who?"
"The Reapers, Liara! The Reapers! They are coming for me!" Javik buried his eyes in his hands, shaking his head from side to side. "They're in my head, they're trying to turn me, indoctrinate me, I…" The muffled words came to a halt when Liara put her arms around him. The heat from her soft chest had a calming effect, and when she pressed her lips against his cheek, he returned her embrace. "I'm frightened, Liara," he admitted.
"No one is coming for you, my love," she whispered. "You're safe. I'm here." She said it with such conviction he nearly believed it. His heart slowed down and his muscles loosened up, allowing him to resume breathing at a normal pace.
After a few minutes, they walked to the living room together. Liara made Javik some tea, the only beverage he drank these days, to calm his nerves and sat herself down next to him.
"Now… tell me what happened." Her voice was kind and caring now, with not a single trace of judgment.
"I saw the commander," he began.
"Shepard is dead." It was an obvious statement, but it was the truth.
"I know, I saw him in a… game." He didn't like admitting he had spent his time on such primitive and childish forms of entertainment, but he wanted to be honest with her. "Some virtual reality thing. He appeared, and said he was the Reaper."
"What Reaper?"
"The one flying over Kendra."
"That is impossible. Shepard is gone, he sacrificed his life to reprogram the Reapers."
"I have told you before, I do not agree," Javik rebutted, shaking his head. "They are forming a trap. They are biding their time. To them, a millennium is like taking a short nap. They are patient, cold and calculating. They knew they could not win against a united galaxy. I believe they have lulled us into a false sense of security, and now they are getting ready to strike again!"
"Honey…" Liara reached out, cupping his chin with her hand. She looked deep into his eyes. "I will not pretend to understand what you must be going through. You have fought the Reapers longer than anyone else in this galaxy. But as much as it pains me to say it… You are wrong."
Javik turned away from her. She did not believe him, not even now. "I know what I saw," he whispered. "I saw a dead man come to life. It knew things about you and I nobody else could possibly know. Only a Reaper would hold such knowledge. It even told me it was a Reaper, Liara! How can you ignore that?"
"Sweetheart… Have you considered…"
"Stop right there," Javik cut her off, rising to his feet. "I am not going to talk to a… psychiatrist, if that's what you're suggesting. I'm not going mad!"
As he spoke the words, the apartment darkened. Javik looked out the window, seeing the Reaper's frame blot out Parnitha. It was only miles away from their window now, and Javik grabbed Liara by the shoulders.
"It's here. Do you see it now, woman? It came after me!"
"Javik, this is…" she began, but Javik didn't want to hear it. He raced to the wall where he kept his Particle Rifle and tugged it from the wall.
The apartment's intercom beeped, and a familiar voice echoed throughout the room, one both Javik and Liara recognized the second it appeared.
"Javik, Liara, it's me, Shepard! Do not panic, I mean you no harm."
"Stay quiet, machine!" Javik shouted back into thin air. "I told you, you will not take us!" Javik started hyperventilating. He felt as if his body was aging 50,000 years in mere seconds, the millennia spent in stasis finally catching up to him.
"Get out of here, woman," he snarled as he turned back to her. "And take your kid with you. Pray to the stars they do not take you alive. If we do not make it, put a bullet in your son's head and follow him into the great void!" Tears ran out of all four of her eyes.
Mercy is what I must give them.
Javik took the Phalanx from the wall as well. Liara looked panicked, her eyes locked in a worried frown. She started when she noticed Javik pointed the gun in her direction, the blue dot from the laser targeting her belly.
"You will not indoctrinate the last of the Protheans, Reaper!" he screamed. "I will not let you!"
"Javik, what are you doing? It's me, Shepard. Stop this!"
"Javik… Sweetheart…" Liara whispered. "Calm down."
"Why don't you stop me, machine? Why don't you turn me into your willing slave, like you did to billions upon billions of others?"
"Put a bullet in your son's head and follow him into the great void!"
The images raced through his head. He was unable to suppress them. He wanted to clutch his head, make it pop like a watermelon dropping from a twelve-story building.
Put a bullet in your son's head! And follow him into the great void!
The voice shouted at him, commanded him. Was he already indoctrinated? Was he getting mad because of the indoctrination? Or was he preventing it? He didn't know. He knew nothing.
A BULLET! IN YOUR SON'S HEAD!
"Javik, no!"
Javik felt his finger squeeze the trigger. The bullet buried itself deep in Liara's stomach, blue blood pouring from the wound as she fell to the ground. Tears ran from her eyes when she threw one last look at the man she loved.
"Javik, stop!"
FOLLOW HIM! INTO THE GREAT VOID!
"Forgive me," he whispered to Liara. He put the gun to his head. And for the first time in his life, Javik cried.