Battleships Round 1 Entry
Title: Goats
Ship: Mephisto/Angel (if you squint)
Prompt: No one really liked the new kid. That was, until the incident...
Requirements: Includes humour, slash, twist at the end and anime references.

Goats

Mephisto has never liked goats. He can't see how anyone can stand the unbearable stench of sour milk or their dissonant cry. Though even worse than that were baby goat; the kids were always more annoying, and always more energetic. Their small size and build was laughable, but also an extremely ugly sight. But that all changed when he returned home one day to hear that a certain man was hospitalised after a mission in a goats field.

Mephisto could feel the intense anger radiating from the blonde man on the bed as he walks into the medical tent. Surely, the last thing the man would want to see is him, but that's exactly why Mephisto decided to pay a visit in the first place.

"Wassup, Angel?" Mephisto grins, "I brought you some Kuroko no Basuke magazines!"

Angel's glare is unforgiving. "Use your misdirection skills and be gone from my sight, will you?"

"Aww, how could you say that?" Mephisto replies laughingly. "I have other stuff as well, like Naruto, Bleach, and One Piece…"

"Just let it go, you stupid otaku, I'm not so weak willed as to get addicted to manga so shamelessly like you," Angel retorted. "Just get out of my face."

"Hey now," Mephisto pouted, his eyes sparkling with dangerous mischief. "But hey, what's this? If it isn't a goats manga, you would love this, right?"

"Shut up- I don't need you to rub it in," Angel glared.

"Ahahaha, who would have thought, Angel, who would have thought~" Mephisto grins, his voice light and teasing as he sticks his tongue out at Angel. "I still can't believe you screwed up on that mission! Who would have thought exorcising some demon from goats would be so hard for a Paladin!"

Mephisto knows if Angel's powers weren't restricted by the hospital devices, he'd be fried meat, but it really wasn't his fault that Angel would screw up in such a simple mission. To exorcise a demon from a goat before she'd give birth to a batch of baby goats; that was it, but yet, Angel had ended up coming home bruised and battered.

"I- I've never liked goats; especially not baby ones or pregnant ones… And then I rushed my job, because the farmer looked like he wanted me to help him with the childbirth… And then everything just went downhill after that!"

Angel is rambling; at least that much was obvious to Mephisto. And that only triggered excitement in Mephisto's mind as he continued to provoke.

"So, to cheer you up, I also got you some t-shirts with goats on them, don't they look so fab~?"

"Fuck off, will you~?"

Mephisto's eyes twinkled as he sat down on Angel's bed, causing the latter great annoyance as he bounced on it. "So, you never did tell me what exactly happened on that mission."

Angel looked away with narrowed eyes, "I am under no obligation of disclose to you details of a mission."

"Even if I were to give you the DVD set for Free and Shingeki?" the voice was taunting and seductive, but Mephisto didn't have much hope.

"Actually, if you promise, I will put that into consideration."

"Wait- you will?" Angel's answer was the last thing Mephisto expected, and the drink that has already made itself halfway down his throat was spitted out right onto Angel's hair.

"Insolent devil," Angel muttered, and then took a deep breath. "So you wanted to know how I got injured? Well, I'll tell you damnit. The devil was cinch - even an esquire could have defeated him, I'm sure. But I told you about the stupid kids, right? I rushed to get back, and one of the stupid newborns tripped me up. How was I supposed to know they were there!? They were hiding so well in the grass - well, then this goat and its horn found its way to where I would have fallen, so here I am, in the hospital - you happy now?"

The laughter that breaks through the tent sends on all the nurses running to it, but even after Mephisto is ushered away, he is still laughing. Mephisto has a sudden desire to meet the liable newborn and award it with a fascinating, and luck-filled life; after all, that kid must have been a genius, to be able to drag down the Paladin of True Cross Order.

-END-

A/N: Thanks for reading this crappy excuse of crack. Upon Scribblindaydreamer's challenge, I entered a battleships competition against her. Every round, a judge gives us a prompt and requirements, and we pretty much have to write a shipping fic(therefore, battleships). We get to choose our own pairings for each round, and so since I was watching Aox (when Angel arrests Mephisto) when I go the prompt, this pairing was the first thing that came to my mind. (Though what I wrote isn't that shippy anyhow...)