Hey guys. Yep another update. I've got some serious things to talk about today so if you want to just quickly get to the point, then here.

Nightmares of a small turtle, will not be continuing/ updated this year and most likely at all. It will not be forgotten but no chapters will be put up this year.

Ok. If you're still reading then I'll explain why.

I'm not going to lie to myself or you guys anymore. So..here we go.

I didn't realise how much I had to do this year, I underestimated my abilities completely. My schedule is full of plans and ambitions. I've lost my passion for TMNT currently because I haven't been able to keep up to date with the TV shows, old and new. I didn't fully understand how much motivation I needed and how much time I didn't have. Being completely real for a few seconds, I think something is wrong with me. I don't know if it's depression, anxiety or some other disorder or illness but I can hardly bring myself to get out of bed most days I'm free. Anytime I have energy it's spent on having to interact with people. Anytime I have motivation and inspiration it's during a situation where I don't have something I can use as an outlet. The rare times I have all the ingredients to write, I'm so tired, I can't even be bothered to turn my Pc on. My best friend has been told about my, 'problem' but she kinda just forgot about it and has never mentioned it but when my other friends talk about maybe having a mental illness or simular stuff she leaps into action and basically makes them get help. I don't have anyone to confide in because I don't like putting my problems onto others. The reason I'm even saying this now is because I don't know you. You, who is currently reading this, are a complete stranger to me. You could see me on the streets and not even remember having seen me 2 seconds after looking at me. I don't want attention; I'm not seeking sympathy and pity. They do nothing for me. Maybe my friend would like it cause she loves people doting on her but not me.

The first time I ever uploaded a story I went to bed crying and suffered a great amount of anxiety, I'll most likely have a simular occurrence tonight but the guilt from not following and carrying out my promise is worse. A thing to know about me is once I write I don't stop. It can take me days to get out of it. Right now as I am currently writing this I'm sort of in a trance. I don't notice mistakes or exactly what I am saying until I'm finished, the reason behind my badly written stories to be honest. I didn't mean for this to be a diary entry or to make it seem like my situation is bad but I honestly need to say something before I screamed at someone in real life. I love writing and I miss it but TMNT is not calling me like it did a few years ago, I haven't been able to relax to TMNT in a long time, every time I've watched or read it, it feels more like a chore and it shouldn't.

So NOAST will be neglected for a while, maybe next year I'll be able to finally get back into it and not feel like it's a chore but right now it's another weight on my shoulders. I love to write and make others happy and considering this story a=has done that for a few of you has sometimes been the only thing that has made me smile. Every time someone reviews I cry in happiness and every time someone favourite and follows I feel so…full. Warm and full, I don't know what I'm full on but it's the only word that describes the feelings all of you give me. At one point it was like a drug for me and I was addicted, I still sort of am. I thank you from the deepest pit of my soul and being for giving me such happiness, sometimes during my worst moments. I am so sorry for not writing another chapter. I'm so sorry for not exceeding expectations and I apologise for breaking my promise. But I still have one thing motivating me. A need that will be filled.

I

WILL

FINISH

THIS

STORY

If it's the last thing I do, this story will be completed. It will be to the best of my abilities written. And it will be amazing.

But right now, it's not possible to write some that's even worth reading for TMNT.

But now I have a question.

If I were to finish a different story, for a different fandom. Would you hate me? If I were to start a completely new story and managed to complete it, would you be angry. I can't write fro TMNT, but I've been able to write for Undertale.

I have a story I'm passionate about and I've already got around 4 or 5 chapters. I wouldn't upload until I've finished it so we don't have a repeat of this situation, but would that be ok?

I want your honest opinion and your exact thoughts.

I must admit I have put more on my plate this year, I'm finishing school, have plans to travel around, have a job, I recently started a youtube channel, two to be exact, animating, art, covers, plans to go to some big conventions and cosplay, getting my licence. So yeah, I am doing many things and writing just didn't seem to fit in.

Sorry for dumping my issues onto you and I hope it didn't bring you down. I'm actually happier than I've been in the past few years. Thanks for reading.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm advertising but, if you'd like to check out my two (really crappy) channels with only 4 or something vids lol.

Gaming channel channel/UCCk0q8opDkEJKr_rB5xBmqw

Song covers Channel channel/UCKBzE-ugipQb7JxyHc8zSnA

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Bye