The reporters got bored quickly, or maybe the Capitol decided it would be wiser to stop the broadcast altogether than risking me losing even more popularity, so they left and District Twelve slowly went back to normal. Except that it isn't normal anymore.

Children wave around candies and loaves of bread, that is good. Prim sleeps in a huge bed all by herself, she giggles and has enough to eat every day, that is even better. Haymitch is drinking again, hidden in the house next to mine, that is great for him I guess. Danny is safe in the Victors House in front of mine, no tributes or Gamemakers out to get him, that is perfect. Everything seems to be okay, but I am not buying it. I am not okay either.

Since I was nowhere to be found, Danny got the worst part of the "Welcome Home" interviews. After my small "wrong-fiancé" incident — as they teasingly called it at the Capitol — all cameras were on me, but Haymitch quickly came to my rescue claiming that the stress had gotten the best from me again and that I would need some privacy and rest in my new home with Peeta.

And I got privacy and rest, alright. Just not with him.

Danny distracted everyone by filming in his new house, talking about the bakery, introducing his friends to the Capitol reporters, even Prim gave some interviews to keep the Capitol happy. All the while I buried myself underneath the eerily soft covers of my new bed and tried to keep my nightmares at bay unsuccessfully. Everyone thought Peeta was there to help me fight them, but he actually was hiding at the bakery, his old home, giving me space and privacy.

"Would it kill you to take a walk with the boy?" Haymitch had grumbled two days after we got back to Twelve. He was angry enough at me for screwing up again, and he had to deal with my mother's hospitality when he demanded to see me. I am still surprised he didn't raise his voice.

"Sweetheart, everyone was rooting for you in that Arena, you want to know why? Because they love a pair of star-crossed lovers. No one thought you would get out of there alive but you did. And I think that the less you can do to assure you stay alive is give the Capitol what they want and kiss your fiancé for the camera!"

His last words came out in a hiss, and that was enough to light up the fire that had been dormant since Danny pulled out those berries.

"One thing, Haymitch! Just one fucking thing!" I bursted "I know I screwed up with Peeta too, alright? He had to spend weeks watching me become someone else, a murderer, just for me to come home and screw up even more. But if it is true and I belong to the Capitol now, why don't you all let me have one fucking thing for myself and fix things with Peeta with no cameras around?!"

Haymitch slammed the door, apologized to my mother and left my house. A couple days later the reporters left too.

It's Sunday, so I get up early, I put on my father's jacket and sneak out. The woods are further from my home now, but I my mother let me use my old house as a storage place. I stop by, grab a game bag and a knife and I cross the fence within minutes. When I reach our spot, Gale is already waiting. I can see that he is surprised to see me, but he conceals it quickly. I haven't seen him since the day I came back, but I know he is not quite over the fact that it was him whom I chose to save me that day. I know too that he would have wanted to bring me here after we pushed through the crowd, but we couldn't risk it, not with so many cameras around. So the woods had remained forbidden to us for a while, and the withdrawal had obviously affected our relationship, since none of us reached out for the other after that day.

Without a word we start walking, and we slowly fall back into the routine we worked on for so many years. But once in a while I catch him looking at me, as if he expected me to whisper in his ear again, as if he was just waiting for me to beg him "Get me out of here" so that he could take my hand and run away with me, away from the memories, from Peeta, from District Twelve. More than once, Gale had mused out loud about the both of us running away to make our lives in the woods. And even when he knew it was impossible, I know that he spent more time than it was advisable indulging those daydreams.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," I say finally as we pluck out the feathers of a pair of birds.

"I deserved it. If anyone could bend the rules like that and bring both the boy and yourself back it's you, Catnip. I never should have doubted you."

I swallow and nod, looking down to my hands to find them covered in blood, my breath catches in my throat.

"You were going to say something, before they took you away."

His unfinished sentence has bothered me ever since, but when the silence becomes tense I know that I should have never asked. So I let him lie to me.

"I was going to say I was sorry."

I stuff the bird back into the game bag and lean over to wash my hands in the pond. When I look up my eyes fall on Gale's snares and suddenly everything proves to be too much for me to handle, I hand him the bag and start heading back, trying to remind myself that there is no need for me to run, these woods are safe.

But I doubt I can ever feel safe again.

District Twelve is not that big, one would have thought that I should have ran into Peeta by now. But he knows me too well, and I know he has tiptoed around me the past week so that I can deal with everything. The upside is that I too know him very well.

It's chilly outside, so I grab a jacket on my way out, my mother and Prim follow me with their eyes but they don't ask any questions. I know I have to mend things with them too, because I've kept them at bay ever since I came back so that they don't see how much the Games have broken me. I make a mental note to take Prim to the candy store tomorrow, and to let my mother braid my hair next time she asks.

My dad used to be a respected man in the District, and when I followed his steps and started providing meat and herbs from the woods the people from both the town and the Seam respected me too, but it's nothing compared to how they behave around me now. People smile at me but avert their eyes. I think that once the whole country has seen you shoot an arrow through someone's skull there is no going back.

The alley is cold, and I tighten my jacket around me as I rest against the cold stone of the seamstress' store. My hands fidget as I wait for the sun to come down completely, in my head I can picture exactly what is happening in the store in front of me. Peeta is cleaning around as he waits for the last clients of the day, once they arrive he will probably sneak an extra bread in their bags without charging them a single coin. The bell sounds when they walk out and Peeta will jump over the counter, turn around the sign and turn off the lights of the window. The Mellark Bakery is closed for the day.

I can almost see him moving around the kitchen, sweeping the flour, cleaning the trays, placing the reminding dough in the fridge, carrying his everyday routine while humming under his breath. My original plan was to walk in, the way I did so many times, and simply grab the broom and start helping out. I used to do that so that he could get done with his chores early and we could have a moment to ourselves without his mother flipping out. I meant to walk in and wave my white flag, but I couldn't. Even waiting outside for him to walk out is proving to be too much.

My skin is broken in goosebumps, and each time I hear his footsteps near the door I feel the sudden urge to run away, but I can't do that anymore. So I try to calm myself by spinning my ring on my finger, looking around and thinking of his eighteenth birthday, by far the fondest memory I have of this alley.

"Happy birthday," I said with a smile on my face walking up to him to hand him his present. It was a box of color pencils and a coloring book Prim and I had saved for since the summer. His face broke out in a smile when he opened it, and he pulled me into a hug to thank me. Little by little I had gotten used to his displays of friendly affection. After two years of friendship I was more than okay with him bumping his shoulder against mine when he teased me, kissing my cheek goodbye, high-fiving me whenever I managed to take down something big while hunting, etc. Gale and I, we had never been physical, there was something comforting and intimate in our silence and interactions, but it simply was not the way Peeta and I were.

I returned the hug gently, burying my face in his warm chest and breathing in the scent of fresh bread and sunshine. He always smelled like sunshine, even when it was dark outside.

"My family is having cake upstairs if you want to come," he said after a moment, relaxing his arms around me so that I could break away from our embrace if I wanted. He always did that, Peeta always managed to both respect and break my walls at the same time.

Suddenly, I realized that I didn't want to let go of him, there was something soothing about being held by him. But I also figured the hug had lasted long enough.

"That would be great, thank you," I said back, starting to pull back.

I am still not sure how it happened, in fact I don't think even he knows, but Peeta abruptly tightened his arms around me again, and in my surprise he managed to catch my lips with his in a gentle kiss.

I froze. I had never been kissed, I had never even thought about being kissed, much less by Peeta. Peeta who was my friend to spend afternoons reading with, Peeta who loved to give piggy back rides to my sister, Peeta who always brought flowers to my mother when he stopped by, Peeta who always had a smile for me. Peeta who was the boy with the bread, the dandelion in the spring that had saved my life.

Even when I had never thought about kissing him, slowly it became the only thing that made sense.

So I shifted my arms so that they could wrap around his neck and I could stand on my tip toes, kissing him back. I tried not to think much about what I was doing, my cracked lips moving inexpertly against his soft ones. Moments after Peeta smiled against my lips and pulled back, but he kept his arms around my waist.

"I wanted to do that for a very long time," he whispered and I blushed underneath the starry night, looking away.

It was a completely new kind of silent intimacy, but I knew that as soon as we broke our embrace I would find myself craving it.

"Look, Katniss…" Peeta stepped back, proving my point. Before I knew what I was doing I reached for his hands, which hung intertwined between us. He looked down to them for a second before looking up to my eyes. "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. And I know that in your books there is no place for something as mundane or time consuming as falling in love. I know that you have to provide for your family and that you have Gale and that I am just some town boy who just got into your life but," he swallowed. "I guess I just wanted you to know that, if you'll have me, I'll always be here to help you. You don't have to do this alone."

I knew that the ball was in my court, and that I was supposed to say something. Peeta was always the one that did the talking, and even when he could bring more words out of me than anyone else, that didn't mean that it was easy to reply to a undying love declaration just seconds after my first kiss.

Still, I knew the idea of what I wanted to say. It was the wording what was difficult, but even a year later Peeta insisted that those were the best words he had ever heard in his life.

"I'll have you. Of course I'll have you."

Soon I lose track of time, because after that first kiss the memories come tumbling down faster and faster. Being with Peeta proved to be easy as breathing to me. We soon became the gossip of the District— the Town boy and the Seam girl, the history repeated itself according to the people around, and even some bets started to circulate around the idea that I too would leave the baker for the miner — but they grew bored quickly and the boys stopped howling at Peeta whenever he reached for my hand in public.

Growing back together with Gale was harder, and it wasn't until Peeta told me that he was just jealous that I realized that my best friend had always mistakingly thought it was going to be him the one I would have ended up with, or maybe he just felt betrayed because of me claiming I never wanted anyone romantically, just to give Peeta of all people a chance. Eventually he started showing up at our spot on Sundays again and we never talked about it, we simply agreed silently to never bring up Peeta during our time together.

I jump when the back door of the bakery opens and I am pulled out of my thoughts abruptly, the desire to run away becomes even stronger. Peeta comes out, looking down at his feet and huffing. He is carrying two heavy sacs of flour that he tosses against the pile in the alley furiously. It's only then when he looks up and notices me in between the cloud of flour that he has provoked.

His face is the same as always, but somehow the lines are harder, the furrowed brows that I saw on the interviews they did of him (I watched them in the train) have not yet disappeared. And the pain on his eyes, the one that I saw when I accidentally locked my eyes with his after I ran into Gale's arms, it's obviously still there.

Peeta's blue eyes run over me, as if making a full body scan. He takes in the way one of my legs is significantly thicker than the other, because of the bandages that I have to wear still, after his eyes stay for a moment there they lock on the delicate ring in my hand — is that relief in his eyes? did he think I wouldn't wear it anymore? — before moving on. I know that he notices the slight differences too, the waxed eyebrows, the even fingernails, the cold in my eyes. But I hope that he realizes — even when it took me a long time to figure it out too — that underneath the polished exterior, I am the same person still.

"Look Peeta," I begin after a moment. I know that if I wait long enough he'll end up saying something, but I also know that I can't keep quiet anymore. I fucked up, so I have to make things right.

"I don't know when I fell in love with you, I just did. And I am sorry that I had to talk about you and about us in front of everyone in Panem, I was just trying to bring Danny back. All I did, it was to bring your brother back. I guess I was so focused on achieving that that I never stopped to think about the fact that I would have to face you again, and I panicked. I was afraid of you thinking about everything I've done and…" I swallow. "I guess what I want to say is that I still love you. I'm sorry if it took me this long to say it, and that I have to steal all of your words to say it. But, if you'll have me, I still would like, very much, to marry you."

I had focused my eyes on his so hard that it takes me a moment to notice what else was going on, his lips twist up in a weak and relieved smile, and his cheek is suddenly invaded by a couple of streaming tears. Eventually we both work out the courage to take a step towards the other and our lips close the space between us.

He still tastes like sunshine.

Before I know it I'm crying too, because I've missed him. I've missed the boy with the bread, the man that always makes me laugh when I'm scared, or angry or tired. The only person outside of Prim that I am positive I could love forever.

His sunshine taste is soon corrupted by our salty tears, but when we finally pull away — once our kisses have gone from slow and tender to needy and passionate, and back — we are smiling. Because this is still good, because this is still home.

"Of course I'll have you, Katniss Everdeen. I will always have you."

The next morning my mother and Prim smile in surprise when Peeta and I walk downstairs hand in hand to have breakfast. We invite his father and Danny to come over and little by little my chest turns lighter as I watch my family laugh, sitting around a table filled with food. Watching Danny still makes the memories of the Arena tumble before my eyes, but Peeta's hand around mine keeps them at bay. Maybe I can never really forget, but I can find a balance.

Peeta and I stop by Haymitch's to give him some bread, and a couple days later I give him authorization to call in a couple of Capitol paparazzis. Within some weeks there are pictures of me and Peeta everywhere in the news, and even when in the beginning it made my stomach twist to think of everybody dissecting our kisses, our hand holding, our conversations, I eventually decide that I can live with it as long as it means that they will forget everything about the berries incident.

That is, until they start talking about the wedding.

The paparazzis are long gone, but one morning while watching the news I hear Caesar talking about my ring and how they are still waiting for news about our wedding, how he just can't wait to see me in a wedding dress. Peeta and I haven't talked about getting married ever since that night on the alley, and I think that it is because we are definitely not looking forward to get married in front of a bunch of Capitol strangers.

Disgusted, I turn off the television, but I can't shake the thought off my mind for the rest of the day.

When the night falls, I gather up the courage to grab the same jacket I was wearing the day I finally decided to fix things between us. The white fur keeps me warm as I walk towards the bakery, and this time I get to the alley just as he is walking out.

He chuckles. "Is this going to become routine between us?"

The smile comes easy, but it goes away quickly too. It takes him just a couple of seconds to figure it out.

"You've been watching the news again."

I agree with a nod, and Peeta pulls me into a comforting hug without saying anything else, he knows that sometimes words are not what I need. Much to his surprise, it is me who breaks off our embrace I keep one of his hand so I can pull him behind me. I don't need to say anything for him to understand and the air between us turns solemn as we carry out my intentions

No one sings a song as we cross the door to his bakery, but he fixes my white jacket around me as we walk into the kitchen, turning only the strictly necessary lights so we don't bump into anything. He pulls out the remaining dough from the refrigerator and we knead it together in the gentle light. Peeta's expert fingers guide mine as we sprinkle the cheese, and he steals kisses from me as much as he cans.

We barely talk, because there is not much to say really. If only, the one thing that I know I have to say out loud is "I love you" so I say it as I bury my face in his neck when we wait for bread to be done, and I am suddenly hit with the realization that I can feel safe, as long as I am with Peeta.

We sit by the fire, and he laughs at the flour in my nose, I tease him about Danny spilling the story of his childhood crush to me and he rolls his eyes, but in the gentle light of the fireplace I can see him blushing.

"I'm still jealous you have never sang for me," he murmurs after a moment, bringing me out of my thoughts of the Arena. Peeta's tone is light but sincere, and the silence that follows is only broken by him breaking our freshly baked bread in half. I grab my part and watch him start toasting a smaller piece of his, I smile and do the same.

"I've sang for you. But I do it when you are asleep."

Peeta smiles without turning towards me, and it's only then when I realize it's me who has been fooled.

"Or at least when I thought you were asleep." Peeta's laughter drowns the cracking of the fire and the bread, and we stay silent until his bread changes color and he pulls it from the fire, blowing on it gently before feeding it to me.

Once the bread is gone and the fire starts to die off I start singing quietly for him. Maybe, I think, as far as wedding gifts go, this is a pretty good one.

Author's note / Thank you so much to everyone that has stuck with this story until the end. I was sorry to see some of you go after the plot-twist ending of last chapter, but I am so glad so many others had enough faith to see this through 3

It has been a true joy to write this story and I can't thank you enough for the kudos and comments. Hope to see you again in the sequel!

Also, I made a crappy graphic in tumblr for this fic, so if you guys could reblog it to spread the word (or make your own, that would make me happy forever) it would mean a lot to me. You can find it here.