Happy birthday to my wonderful friend, lastincurableromantic. What I wish would happen in the 50th and my presumed dead square for trope bingo.
She couldn't stay. They wouldn't let her and it broke all five of their hearts.
On this jump the dimension canon had dropped her right where she wanted to be most. Back in her original Universe and into the figurative lap of not one but two Doctors. Well sort of. Too bad neither of the Doctors felt thrilled about this and neither had been remotely concerned about the stars going out. Not exactly the welcome that she had been expecting.
It had been a long couple of days but the battle had been won, the enemy vanquished and they had saved the Universe, again. Right now though, Rose longed for nothing more than a shower and bed in her room on the TARDIS. That didn't seem likely to happen though not since the Doctor wasn't going to let her stay.
Years had passed for her since Canary Wharf, since she had seen the Doctor in any form. Years spent trying to do the impossible and find a way back to him. Which she had done and now he was sending her away again. Maybe he hadn't wanted her to come back at all. Somehow, she now felt like poison to them like there was something wrong or dangerous about her.
Rose catalogued the similarities and differences between the two Doctors standing in front of her. Their appearance and mannerisms were so different but underneath it all she knew they were the same man. Both were alternating between staring at her and glancing awkwardly into the distance. Her second Doctor kept making moves forward like he wanted to touch her but never making contact. Like he was afraid of her. The one who was now her third Doctor, the one with the floppy hair, green eyes and the new companion had actually been bold enough to cup her cheek. He had, however, quickly withdrawn when a stray tear fell on it, like he had been burned.
On her arm the Dimension Cannon beep. "If I can't stay then I should really be going." Her heart broke just a little bit more when neither one of them said anything. She took a step back and turned away, unable to look at either of them anymore. With more purpose than she felt, she tapped out the coordinates for Torchwood in Pete's World. "Well I guess this is goodbye, for good this time. I won't be bothering you again."
A hand closed around her wrist at the same time a strangled cry of "Rose, please" came from behind her. Turning back around, she found herself standing face to face with the green eyed Doctor.
"Rose," his voice caught as he said her name. "It's not that I don't want you to stay. If I could keep you here forever I would but I can't. Not without destroying the Universe and believe me there were times where I was on the razor's edge and didn't give a damn about that."
Her second Doctor, the one in that pinstriped suit with his perfectly tousled hair had come over and taken her other hand. "How can I, how can we say goodbye to you? I want you to stay. Would give practically anything if I could stay with you." He stopped talking and pulled her into a tight embrace. "You'll find me, us, again. When the time in right."
The other Doctor let go of her wrist and took a step back. "Stay right there Rose. I have something I want you to take with you." He jogged off; passing Clara whom Rose hadn't even noticed was there. "Clara, don't let them leave. I can't risk having my younger self abscond with the lovely Rose Tyler."
"He's you, you idiot," Clara called after the Doctor she traveled with. "I've learned not to let you do anything stupid."
That Doctor's response was lost as Rose focused on the one who's arms she was wrapped in.
"What happened to me Doctor?" she mumbled into his shoulder and his gripped tightened around her. "I mean if I find you again, you can't let me remember this, right?"
"Let's not worry about that right now." The Doctor leaned back and pressed a kiss on her forehead.
She waited a heartbeat before speaking again. "On the beach that day, Doctor, when I said I love you, I meant it. Even if you don't… at least not that way… just know that I love you and I always will."
He took in a long slow breath. "Oh Rose, you know how I feel don't you. Even if I can't say it. Even if I won't, you have to know that I feel the same way about you." One of his long fingers hooked under her chin and gently tilted it up. Before she could ask what he was doing she felt his lips press against hers. Rose let out a contented sigh and the Doctor deepened the kiss. His tongue slid along hers as he began the slow exploration of her mount. She knew they didn't have much time left before the other Doctor came back and before she had to leave.
For now, she relished the moment, the feel of his hands on her body. One tentatively made its way to her bum while the other skimmed up her rib cage. The pace of the kiss became somewhat frantic and she loved it. This was everything she had wished that it could be and her head felt dizzy at the notion that she was finally kissing the Doctor.
Unbeknownst to them, Clara momentarily thought that this might fall into the 'things to stop the Doctor from doing category' but ultimately decided that if they didn't take it past snogging that she would let it slide. After all, who was she to stop it?
A few minutes later the older Doctor came back holding a wrapped gift box. Striding right up to the Tenth Doctor and Rose, he cleared his throat. When the two broke apart he shoved the box in the other Time Lord's arms and grabbing Rose by the waist took the opportunity to kiss her.
This Doctor was a completely different type of kisser than his counterpart. He was slow at first. Lips only, sweet and tender, letting her set the pace. After a moment she nibbled and his lower lip, begging entrance. He happily complied and pulled her tighter to him. Rose was so lost in the moment that she forgot that there was another Doctor standing right next to her.
At least until the Dimension Cannon on her wrist beep again. "Damn," she muttered, breaking the kiss. "I really don't have much time left now." The day's adventure had pushed the device to the limit and if she didn't leave soon the tear in the walls between the Universes that she had used would become completely unstable and she would be stuck.
"I guess this is goodbye then," Rose said softly, taking both of them by the hand.
"Well, it's more like see you later," the pinstriped Doctor said with a small grin. "It seems when it comes to you, Rose Tyler, that impossible isn't in your vocabulary."
The Doctor with whom she had traveled wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I can never say goodbye to you, not really." His breath was hot in I'm too much of a coward but that doesn't mean I don't... You know how I feel. How I've always felt even if I think it doesn't need saying. Please remember that." The Doctor pressed another kiss to her lips before reluctantly letting her go.
Taking a step back he nodded to the other man. Rose couldn't even imagine how hard this must have been on them, both of them. At least the younger man would get to see her again. And the older man, he may never get to see her again but at least he'd have two sets of memories of today. Plus the memories of whatever had happened when she found him in his past, her future. Although, she was beginning to fear that what had happened to her didn't end happily.
"Our impossible Rose," the eleventh Doctor said with a sly smile. One hand came up to cup her cheek. "Don't give up on finding me. I need you by my side. The Stuff of Legends saving the multiverse together." He leaned in close and she felt his breath on her ear as he whispered something in a language she couldn't understand. Something inside of her instinctively knew that it was his native tongue, Gallifreyan and even if she didn't understand the words the meaning was crystal clear. Gently, he kissed her for, presumably, the last time.
After breaking the kiss he bent over and picked up the present that had been set down on the ground. "For you Rose, to give you strength when you need it most. It'll be like… Oh yes, like a hug from me when I'm not there, when I wish I was there."
Rose took the box from him and looked up at both her Doctors. "I love you, both of you, all of you. I don't think there's a version of you I wouldn't love."
"We're counting on that," the floppy haired Doctor said sadly.
"See you later," Rose replied trying to sound braver than she felt.
The Doctor in the trainers spoke next. "Not if I see you first."
"Forever." Her breath hitched and she hit the button on her Dimension Cannon before she could lose her nerve.
The two Doctors stood there for a moment both staring dejectedly at the spot where Rose had disappeared.
The Tenth Doctor turned to the Eleventh. "Did you give her the..."
"Yep," Eleven replies cutting him off. "They need it more than I do, Rose before the Crucible and him once they are back in that universe." He smiled sadly at his younger self. "You'll see her again."
"And then I'll have to say goodbye all over again."
"For one more day with the woman you love…It's worth the heartsbreak."
~oOo~
Pete's World, Six months later
The Doctor stepped over the threshold of Rose's flat feeling both anxiety and excitement. On the trip back from Norway she had been quieter than normal. Oh she talked but she kept the topic of conversations to a surface level. Fair enough, he supposed, she had been through quite a rough couple of days. Finding him again, seeing him almost regenerate, dealing with a second Doctor grown from a hand in a jar, saving the multiverse and ending up trapped here with him.
Maybe she was unhappy with the way things had turned out.
No, Rose had chosen him on that beach. When he was able to say the words that the fully Time Lord Doctor could not. She kissed him, stayed with him and hadn't let him out of her sight since the TARDIS disappeared. Last night she had even insisted that he stay in her room at the hotel. He had offered to stay on the sofa but she had asked him to hold her while she slept. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't the best night of his life in years.
"Make yourself at home, Doctor," Rose said with a small smile as she kicked out of her boots and removed her blue leather jacket. "Would you like some tea? I think I could murder a cuppa right now."
He nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks." While Rose puttered around the kitchen the Doctor explored the small flat. It was sparsely furnished. There was a breakfast nook with a small table and chairs, a telly and over stuffed sofa in the lounge, tiny kitchen and just one bedroom. No carpets or drapes though and only two doors, one to the bedroom and one to the en suite just off it. There were a few books on physics and mechanical engineering on a bookshelf but nothing here that would indicate that Rose lived here.
This wasn't a home. It was a place for her to rest until she made her way back to her real home, back to the TARDIS. And now she was stuck here. Well, maybe they could find something bigger and this way there wouldn't be much to pack. He was just about to peek into the closet to see if she had any clothes other than the ones she was wearing when he heard her calling for him.
She didn't say anything when he thanked her for the tea. Just sat there staring at him, appraising him. Was she trying to decide if he was really the Doctor or not? He thought that she had already accepted that he was. She hadn't called him anything but Doctor since the beach, hadn't hinted that she doubted him.
Something was definitely bothering her and he wanted her full attention. Carefully, he set his teacup down on the coffee table next to the biscuits. He did the same to her already nearly empty cup and then took her hand in his. Immediately, she entwined their fingers and gently stroked his thumb with hers.
"Rose, what's wrong? And don't tell me it's nothing." His free hand cupped her cheek and simply wiped away the tear that fell upon it. "After everything that's happened, I know it can't be nothing."
Her breath was shaking and she closed her eyes. "I just assumed I had died. You…He was… no, god pronouns are so hard when there is more than one of you." She paused a moment to collect herself. "They were both so surprised to see me. A little happy but also sad, so I thought… I thought that maybe he didn't love me anymore." She buried her head in his shoulder, her lips just below his ear. "Didn't want me there but then he said that he did and I thought that the reason they were both so sad was because I had died. Well it was a couple hundred years in his future for the Eleventh's you…"
"Slow down, Rose. I don't think I understood any of that." With the palm of one he rubbed circles on her back soothingly. "Explain it to me again, alright?"
"I did over a hundred jumps with the Cannon." She was shaking slightly. "So many planets, so many universes, so many time periods. In one of those jumps I ran into future versions of you. Well not you since you are the Doctor but not a future version of you, of him."
His hand on her back stilled for a moment as her words sunk in. "Versions? You met more than one version of me? That never seems to end well." He grimaced. "Did they spend the whole time fighting over you?"
She shook her head sadly. "Not really. Until the very end, I didn't even think that they wanted me there. It was like… It was obvious that it hurt for them to even look at me and they made in clear that I couldn't stay."
"Well it would disrupt established time lines," he added automatically. "They couldn't have let you stay. No matter how much he wanted too and he would have wanted you to stay."
"Yeah I know." Quickly she extracted herself from his embrace and started pacing. "I know how delicate the timelines can be. I saw what happened to you when Donna chose a different path. Time changed and you died." She stopped and faced the only window in the small room. Her body was taut and when he came up behind her she moved away.
"Rose…"
"A part of me doubted that you loved me after the way that they acted." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "When I confronted them about it, they were both quick to deny it and told me that I'd find the right you soon enough. They both did their part to reassure me of their feelings." Her lips quirked into a smile and he wondered exactly what they had done. Kissed her if they were smart, shagged her if they were exceedingly brilliant. Although there were two Doctors there things would have been a little awkward.
Rose turned to face him. "Timelines are finicky things and foreknowledge is dangerous, yeah?"
He nodded in agreement.
"So I thought that I would have to forget because if I went back to the jumps with the knowledge of whom you would be after… me." Her voice caught. "I trust you, every you, implicitly. If he, they had to remove my memories, tuck them away for later than I understood. If there is one thing I believe it, it's you and I know that you would never intentionally hurt me."
Springing forward he pulled her into another hug. "Never. I'd never ever want to see you hurt. Least of all by me."
She brought a hand up to cup his cheek. "I know." Lifting herself onto her tiptoes, she pressed a soft, short kiss on his lips. "But he didn't take or lock away the memories. He didn't even try. I remember everything. And after I came back here I began to wonder why." Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. "I theorized that I must have died shortly after I found you, the correct you, again. Why else would I be left with all that foreknowledge?"
"Because he knew that you would be staying here with me." The Doctor's single heart beat wildly in his chest. She had kissed him like it was an everyday occurrence. Taking in a deep breath he focused back on what Rose was telling him and how difficult seeing her again must that have been for the future Doctors.
"But I didn't know that. When I saw that Dalek I thought that it was meant to kill me." She paused and he wrapped his arms tighter around her. "When it hit you I thought I'd messed everything up. I wouldn't have cared if regenerated. You'd be the same man just in a different package." The palm of one hand came up to rest directly above his solitary heart.
His skin tingled under her touch. "You said 'you can't' when you thought I was going to change. Not don't. You said can't. Because of what you had seen. Oh Rose, you must have been terrified that you had changed the future."
Looking up, her eyes met his. "I was until he, you, poured the regeneration energy into the hand. This hand." She moved to take his right hand in hers. "When I saw you, coming out of the TARDIS I knew what was going to happen. What had to happen."
For one paralyzing moment he thought back to the beach when he believed that his admission of his love was the deciding factor in her choosing this him. Maybe she had just been resigned to her fate. He began to step away and this time it was her grip that tightened.
"Don't," she said softly. "I know what you're thinking. And you aren't second best. You are the Doctor, in every way that's really important. And yes, I'll be sad from time to time because that Doctor it the other Universe doesn't have me by his side. That doesn't mean that I see you as less than him. I love you, Doctor, no matter what you look like- old, young, skinny, fat, tall, short, one heart, two hearts, one head, no head." She grinned manically. "Although the last one might be an improvement considering that gob of yours."
"Oi!" he protested indignantly. "You like my gob and my head for that matter."
Rose wrinkled her nose and looked at him appraisingly. "Well you do have some really great hair." The tongue touched smile she gave him caused him to laugh. This, of course, sent her into a fit of giggles. It felt so good to laugh like this again, to laugh with Rose. Admittedly he hadn't done much laughing since Rose had been torn away from him.
He had thought that he would never be able to hold her like this again. Now his entire universe had been changed, quite literally, and he would have Rose by his side. Without overthinking things, he captured her lips with his. Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers curled into the short hair at the nape of his neck. His hands ghosted her rib cage before coming to rest low on her hips.
He could feel his new human hormones kicking in just as she pulled away. A small whine of protest escaped his throat at the loss of her luscious lips on his. "Come with me, Doctor. I have something I want to give you," she whispered, taking his hand and leading him towards her bedroom.
Would it be their room now? He found himself giddy at the prospect of getting to spend every night of the rest of his mortal life curled around Rose Tyler.
"Wait here," she said before disappearing into the closet. Tentatively, he sat down on the bed and bounced lightly. He found that he was slightly disappointed that there wasn't even a hint of a squeak in the bedsprings. A small smile formed on his lips. He relished the freedom that came with this new human lifespan. Freedom to let himself indulge in thoughts of him and Rose engaged in bedroom activities without guilt. Freedom to love her the way she deserved.
A few moments later Rose stepped back into the room, an impossible brown garment draped over her arm. "Where did you get that?" he asked bounding up to her.
"A gift from the next Doctor." Her eyes misted with tears. "He told me that when I wore it, it was like getting a hug from him but I think that he meant it for you, too."
The Doctor's finger tips lovingly caressed the material. "Brilliant."
"Go on then try it on." She held it up for him. "I know you want to. This body of yours hasn't worn it yet. There are also a couple things in the pockets that you might find useful."
His arms slid into the coat and he was comforted by its familiar weight on his shoulders. Out of curiosity, he stuck his hands into his pockets and felt a familiar cylindrical, metal object, a sonic screwdriver. "Oh this is bloody fantastic." He had his coat, his sonic, a piece of TARDIS coral and best of all Rose Tyler. Wrapping his arms around her once more he kissed her again, a proper snog this time with lips, teeth and tongue.
When they broke for air a few minutes later he pressed his forehead to hers. "How long are you going to stay with me?" she asked with a slightly cheeky grin.
His heart swelled knowing that he could now truthfully give her the answer that he had wanted to since the beginning. "Forever."