Dear Fans

I'm not and will never be interested in an incestous relationship with my brother.

Mario.

Dear Fans

Why do you keep calling me gay if I like Daisy?

Luigi.

Dear Fans

WE'RE NOT SLUTS!

Every Nintendo female character.

Dear Fans

As much as I care for Pit, I actually see him like a son or a little brother, not in a pedophile way.

Palutena.

Dear Nintendo Fans

What have I done that you hate me so much?

R.O.B.

Dear Fans

Other M happened, deal with it.

Samus Aran.

Dear Fans

Why you pair us with our dark counterparts?

Mario, Kirby, Meta Knight, Samus Aran, Pit and Link.

Dear Nintendo Fans

The same as with R.O.B.

Mr. Game & Watch

Dear Fans

Thanks for your support.

Isabelle and the Pikmin 3 captains.

Dear Fans

Do I really look that emo?

Red.

Dear Fans

Complaining on our designs it's like complaining about graphics.

Every post Gen I Pokémon.

Dear people that pairs me with Roy/Ike/Peach/Zelda/Link/Samus/etc.

You guys know I'm married, right?

Marth.

Dear Humans

After seeing everything you do about me on the internet, my desire to exterminate you has increased, don't get surprised if I launch lots of Reset Bombs soon.

Viridi.

Dear Fans

Nintendo confirmed I'm female, and also I'm freaking Zelda, can you stop fighting over my gender already?

Sheik.

Dear Fans

… Me… and Ghirahim?… seriously, what?

A very confused Link.

Dear Fans

Do I really look that scary?

The Villager.

Dear Fans

Do I really look like a pedo?

Cynthia.

Dear Gaming Community

Stop whinning that our next games will be Nintendo exclusives.

Sonic the Hedgehog and Bayonetta.

Dear Gaming Community

What have we done that you hate us so much?

All Nintendo staff and characters.